Women don’t love you. They love the life style you can provide?

[AION]

Is this true? I hear a friend say this to me and I heard some masculinity coaches saying this. 

From my observations it is true. Especially in a regular relationship where the woman is seeking to start a family and needs a guy to provide and protect. 

Most women are hypergamous. So they want a guy to be better or higher up the social and economic chain. It is pure coincidence but I was talking to a salsa dancing friend and he said the same thing: if you want to make a chance with a girl you have to be the better dancer but that is out of the scope of this thread. 

It makes me think. Does love really exist? Modern relationships are based on value exchange. You basically have to have what the other person wants which is basically value exchange aka win win relationships. Unconditional love is not a real thing; only lack of options which people falsely characterize as love. 

[max duewel]

Please stop listening to these man who need therapy and healing. Woman can love you for who you are. Start loving yourself 

[Salvijus]

I recently was spontaneously contemplating the same thing and arrived a at similar conclusion. Lifestyle and a sense of rank in the society are the main things in my perception. Although there will always be an exception. Genuine love does exist tho. 

[NoSelfSelf]

True, they cant love someone who speaks about their hypergamous nature and listen to manosphere bs.

Second rule of the game never judge a woman.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_vIudGiAokww

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fXAwuodYUA

 

[AION]

1 hour ago, Salvijus said:

I recently was spontaneously contemplating the same thing and arrived a at similar conclusion. Lifestyle and a sense of rank in the society are the main things in my perception. Although there will always be an exception. Genuine love does exist tho. 

Only god can provide you with unconditional love. Finite things can only provide finite love. 

Men and women also love differently I found out because men and women peak at a different age and this influences their behavior. 

There is a business side to love. The business of survival and procreation. For people who are not in this game their genes won’t survive anyway. 
 

1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

True, they cant love someone who speaks about their hypergamous nature and listen to manosphere bs.

Second rule of the game never judge a woman.

I would never discuss this with a woman. My aim is to understand. Not judge. 

[NoSelfSelf]

8 minutes ago, AION said:

Only god can provide you with unconditional love. Finite things can only provide finite love. 

Men and women also love differently I found out because men and women peak at a different age and this influences their behavior. 

There is a business side to love. The business of survival and procreation. For people who are not in this game their genes won’t survive anyway. 
 

I would never discuss this with a woman. My aim is to understand. Not judge. 

You already judged her in your mind so it will creep in your behaviour she will sense it...

[Schizophonia]

« You » doesn’t exists.

 

[Lila9]

If you are so judgmental of women, you are not loving either. Your love is very limited, and it’s not worthy of being loved by someone like you because you are too closed off for love. 

If you constantly judge people and set a billion conditions for them to be loved by you, it’s reflected in your energy. 

 

 

[Rishabh R]

@AION but I would rather disagree as for making chance with a girl one needs vulnerability mindset , not achievement/loss mindset. And vulnerability is directly related to authenticity which in turn is related to honesty with oneself and others.

[Buck Edwards]

You can't judge women and at the same time love them. 

[AION]

1 hour ago, Lila9 said:

If you are so judgmental of women, you are not loving either. Your love is very limited, and it’s not worthy of being loved by someone like you because you are too closed off for love. 

If you constantly judge people and set a billion conditions for them to be loved by you, it’s reflected in your energy. 

 

 

How am I judging though ? I’m simply describing my first hand observations and what I hear from others. 
 

[AION]

41 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

You can't judge women and at the same time love them. 

I’m just a human so I’m not pretending to possess saintly love 😅

[Buck Edwards]

10 minutes ago, AION said:

I’m just a human so I’m not pretending to possess saintly love 😅

Even women are humans. Don't expect saintly love from them either. If you judge them, they judge you. 

[AION]

12 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Even women are humans. Don't expect saintly love from them either. If you judge them, they judge you. 

Wait. Women aren’t saints?

 

Edited September 9 by AION

[WillCameron]

I think the mistake that people often make when discovering tragedy is that they start thinking everything is "really" tragic. One of the ways that the neuropsychologist Iain McGilchrist has talked about the left brain hemisphere's dominance in our culture is in the left hemispheres need for perfection. So for example, the Platonic Forms are envisioning some metaphysically "more real than our reality" realm in which the perfect form of everything we see exist. All chairs we see are the baser instantiations of the perfect Platonic form of "chair". 

How this manifests in our culture can often be seen in terms of morality. People realize that perfect altruism can't exist because even in the case of self-sacrifice you do it because you believe it is a good thing to do, and so you feel good knowing you sacrificed yourself for a worthy cause. This realization makes them nihilistic because they think that at base everyone is selfish. 

The issue here is that we've become so hooked on the "perfect" altruism, that anything less is interpreted as being the worst opposite. We're either perfectly altruistic or we're all the basest form of selfish, which makes sense because it is the mirror image of perfect. It's like the anti-Platonic form or anti-perfection. 

The truth is that this perfection that the left hemisphere is focused on cannot exist and so comparing ourselves to an impossible perfection we can never reach is foolish. The reality is that true altruism cannot exist, but that doesn't take away from the very real ways in which people asymptotically approach altruism. If someone does something good for you they didn't just do it because they were selfish, but because they actually wanted to help you, even if they also benefitted from that.

While selfishness is one motivator, reducing all of our motivators to mere selfishness is to deny the complex reality of all the various reasons we do things. Again, it is the left hemisphere that breaks the world down into parts and hyper-fixates on the one that it believes matters most. It is the right hemisphere that is able to hold reality at complexity, and see that just because one motivator is selfishness, doesn't mean there aren't other motivators that matter just as much and sometimes even more. We have to take in the gestalt, the whole, if we want to understand human motivation.

So applying that to the question you have, yes women obviously have standards, but so do you. Are there women whose physical appearance would have you reject them no matter how good of a person they were? Does that mean you love the beautiful woman you marry any less? Our standards create the conditions by which we can create a good, satisfying relationship and it is within that context that "true love" can flower. However much there were standards that needed to be set, that love is no less real because what you consider "real true love" is a perfection that cannot exist. Why create resentful, bitter ideologies around non-existent realities?

[AION]

A guy can actually marry a McDonald chick for who she is. 
 

A women can’t do that. 
 

We aren’t build the same. 
 

That is not judging. I kind of understand. 

[thierry]

4 minutes ago, AION said:

 

A guy can actually marry a McDonald chick for who she is. 
 

 

Not for who she is but for her tits and her ass

[AION]

1 minute ago, Buck Edwards said:

No. They're humans and they give birth to humans like you who get to then degrade them. I swear I should just stop looking at the dating section with posts like these that degrade women every day day in day out. Tests our patience. So  misogynistic and sexist views about women everyday. It's so fucking toxic. I should just stop visiting these upsetting threads. 

So you are allowed to judge us and degrade us as you wish but when guys on the forum do it they are toxic and degenerate 🥲

[AION]

1 minute ago, thierry said:

Not for who she is but for her tits and her ass

My ex didn’t have big tits and ass but I still liked her for who she was.