Why does trauma happen instantly? / Why does healing take time?

[Keryo Koffa]

5 hours ago, Letho said:

Rapid growth is environmentaly unstable. "Improvise, adapt, overcome". Evolve or succumb to Momentum.

Ah yes, I wondered myself why there doesn't exist a highly effective Metamorph like "The Thing (1980)" in our reality.

Well, if it did, it would dominate, consume everything, and succumb to its energy expenditure. Life wouldn't persist.

We're an ecosystem, evolving on macro & micro scales. Though humans particularly already act like that metaphorically.

[Hojo]

@Marcel I beleive its called a fractured mind. It means you have lost it. But it happens to everyone here. Its product of living in a society.

Edited September 12 by Hojo

[gettoefl]

17 hours ago, Hojo said:

Trauma causes dissasosiation. You aren't the same person after trauma. People try to get back by doing something you don't get back by doing anything. Its like adding ingredients to a hamburger when you want just a bun and patty.

To go back you take things off not add more 

Yes to heal is to undo harm

How to undo is forgive

I don't just forgive the abuse, I don't just forgive the abuser

I forgive myself for clinging to the past which is simply me continuing to relive a bad dream

The dream hasn't killed me and what doesn't kill me builds me

I am better for my abuse because I have now made sense of it

I forgave the whole sad sordid business and wiped the slate clean

This of course goes hand in hand with me now enforcing iron-clad boundaries

so that my peace will never again be subject to another person's whims

We abuse survivors have light and lessons for this world

We have to teach people how to live in the kingdom of heaven

Through forgiveness - which overwhelmingly means self-forgiveness

Edited September 12 by gettoefl

[Marcel]

1 hour ago, gettoefl said:

We abuse survivors have light and lessons for this world

We have to teach people how to live in the kingdom of heaven

Through forgiveness - which overwhelmingly means self-forgiveness

Agree wholeheartedly. 

In the end it’s all you. The Abuse. The Abuser. The Suffering. The subsequent Forgiveness, Healing, resilience, boundaries and strength. 

Not an easy task by any means. But doable.

Further then that I’ve now developed so much gratitude, because after all I can now appreciate life from a whole different place. 

[Marcel]

3 hours ago, Hojo said:

@Marcel I beleive its called a fractured mind. It means you have lost it. But it happens to everyone here. Its product of living in a society.

Society as a whole surely isn’t in the business of wholeness , unity and the understanding of love / truth / consciousness unfortunately.

[Basman]

It is easier to destroy than it is to build.

I also believe the experience of trauma can also serve the function of adapting to ones environment. Childhood trauma and the subsequent coping mechanisms for instance are how children survive their childhood.

[Hojo]

@Marcel it needs to break you to be a productive drone. The human experience is infinite society needs one way to run. You can strive for it but at the end you lose yourself and its a useless endeavor. You can get power money and sex but you won't be you.

Edited September 12 by Hojo

[Marcel]

Just now, Hojo said:

@Marcel it needs to break you to be a productive drone.

Oh yeah. I’m aware. School systems are designed to create soulless worker drones, soldiers and submissive and easy controllable citizens. 

A system 120 years old and totally outdated. 

It’s genuinely unethical.

[Hojo]

@Marceli agree we are going through what the natives went through. If we do not fight back we are on same track to feel as they feel. Hollow shells of their former glories.

Edited September 12 by Hojo

[Marcel]

14 minutes ago, Basman said:

I also believe the experience of trauma can also serve the function of adapting to ones environment. Childhood trauma and the subsequent coping mechanisms for instance are how children survive their childhood.

Absolutely. Trauma is a survival mechanism. 

Something that helped me a ton is being grateful for it.

Finding love in the deepest pain and integrate the lessons from it, which is when the pain is being transcended in my experience and leaves of its own accord, leaving a deeper appreciation for everything in the process.

Edited September 12 by Marcel

[gettoefl]

36 minutes ago, Marcel said:

Agree wholeheartedly. 

In the end it’s all you. The Abuse. The Abuser. The Suffering. The subsequent Forgiveness, Healing, resilience, boundaries and strength. 

Not an easy task by any means. But doable.

Further then that I’ve now developed so much gratitude, because after all I can now appreciate life from a whole different place. 

Indeed, it all depends what I think this very moment

Abuse saves me thousands of lifetimes compared to a normie coasting along

It presented me with the cheat code showing the irrelevance of the past

All that matters is the truth of what I am

How blessed am I!

[Ajax]

On 9/11/2024 at 6:24 PM, Marcel said:

Agreed. I’ve long started practicing „Absolute Accountability“  as I like to call it. 

Everything is my „fault“ to some degree or another. Not in a toxic way. Not in a blaming way. In a conscious way. 

For example. No matter what happened in the past, my emotional state and integrating the inherent lessons from whatever was experienced is 100% my responsibility. 

I was deeply stuck in victim mentality and learned helplessness for quite some time, still crawling my way out of it.

But overall I can confidently say that I have developed agency and a sense of urgency again to get things done and be productive.

Interestingly. I’ve never connected „Reaching for pleasure and withdrawing from pain“ with survival before fully. I’ve heard the saying multiple times before , but for some reason it never quite  clicked that this literally is survival.

Thank you for your post. 
It was very helpful. 

Wow, I am very proud of you for creating the idea of 100% responsibility. That is a very powerful and advanced concept, that will really help you on your path… Super well done. I am super happy I was able to help you, even minutely!

Yes, unconsciousness means hidden pain. Fear is simply a state of imperception, in that someone is unwilling to look at, or interact with something, be open to it. Perception is important to existence. So if you tell yourself not to perceive, to prevent the pain, you will be holding on to that fear of looking, touching, keeping it in your space… and since you are “always’ right in your viewpoint(survival mechanism); you wish shift your reality to prove you are right in some way, shape or form, even if it means limiting your abilities.

Very, very, very well done for realizing that survival is the pleasure/pain dichotomy. Indeed, the simplest ideas have the most truth to them. There is only an ingenious of simplicity after all! Lol We all look through a “lens” which is “your own” viewpoint… this viewpoint, can see infinite viewpoints or a limited amount of viewpoints that create our reality.  To embrace limitation, we must believe in the idea “the Truth Hurts” … even if it is unconscious. Of course, that is a lie. Only lies hiding the truth hurts, but unconsciously we avoid the truth in the area, because we identify the Truth with Lies and with pain.

However, seeing the most simple things as true, will increase “your own’s” viewpoint to assume and take and handle any viewpoint even the ones they don’t prefer… because simplicity cleans up pain.

Now its time for one of my simply simple phrases... lol.. Truth is an absence of… it is an absence of lies. So, to “find” Truth, you must address and remove the thing preventing it, lies. Anything not purely simple and beautiful is a lie. Because purity, simplicity and beauty reflect what you really are… and in you, the spirit doesn’t change… so with this idea in hand, you know that anything NOT purely simple and beautiful is LESS than the whole truth. Since it is less than the whole truth because you can not see it as purely, simple and beautiful… you know that there are some lies in your viewpoints… and they need to be handled before you see more truth… again... the truth you see is relative to the lies you are unconsciously holding on to that you “know” (falsely believe) to be true. “All that glitters is not gold”  

Now with this viewpoint in mind… look at this pop phrase again…. “Know the truth, and you shall set yourself free.”

 

 

How does this apply to trauma again? Well, simple! Confess!

Just imagine this for a moment. Some people say that the reason “ghosts” haunt houses is because they have “unfinished business.” Well, when you lose someone or something, you too become haunted… haunted by the past due to unfinished business.

Everyone has said and done things they wish they didn’t do. Even if it is something they could have done but didn’t. There are things you did or didn’t do that you consider are not ok.

So, confess… you don’t have to tell anyone. You just have to admit it, truthfully… remember the truth sets you free?

So, write down a confessional of your “sins” include what you did, where you did it, when you did it, and how it happened (don’t include the why… the why is a lie). These 4 things help show the truth that can free you.

This can stimulate feelings of pain, fear, procrastination, avoidance… because the more you look into the past, you dramatize those feelings into the present… its just a show.. a dramatization.

 Courage is the ability to face the lies, to face up to the pain and see the truth for what it actually is… which frees you.  It’s not easy, of course as your natural preference and directive of survival is to avoid painful situations.

 When you do that, you will still miss the person from time to time… but now you don’t have that separation that you unknowingly created by your dirt.

Remember truth is the absence of.  So a relationship is an absence of separation… our  “sins” is keeping one separate. Of course, they on only sins because you say they are, but they are barriers to unity after all because you are putting them there.

Why does trauma often continue to persists? Because you are creating it, by not taking responsibility, and admitting to yourself what you yourself did or didn’t do for/to that person. You could have lied, or stole, or talked lies behind their back, or maybe you listened to some jerk and cut off your relationship with them, you could have cut them off… you could have denied them, you could have refused to help them when you should have… these are all hauntings in your mind… the hauntings of past “sins”. (whether they are real or not, they are real to you at the moment because they exist in your mind)

[Marcel]

@Ajax

wow! 
That was such a powerful post!

Except for actually writing a list. I’ve actually done all of these exercises / am doing them, more or less unconsciously though. 

But just now for the first time I am starting to fully understand what I’m really doing, why it works and how it connects to the bigger picture. 

Im obsessed with simplicity. I love writing and finding a vs. the perfect word or expression for something can make all the difference.

Especially coupled with simplicity. 

Ive long dreamed of having some immortalised quote haha

This gave me some very long needed clarity. 

Thank you very much 😊
 

Edited September 14 by Marcel

[theleelajoker]

On 9/12/2024 at 2:50 AM, Hojo said:

@Marcel no problem when you do the shadow work you will feel them again and you can now say to yourself that person didnt make me feel that way God showed them to me so I could see how sweet I really am and reclaim the feeling and you can feel it all the time all day. It is literally freedom from everything at the end. Nothing can give you emotions and you can't hand them out they are all you even the coolest ones.

I remeber I gave my ex girlfriend the cooler hotter funny feeling and recently reclaimed it and it feels like I'm hot cool and funny now and she has dissapeared because she literally gave me nothing but a broken heart to awaken too and see it was me that was cool hot and funny and I was just giving her that feeling.

Once you reclaim the feeling you excude it.

@Hojo

This independence of feelings re outside objects, also your post before about the pie etc - really valuable stuff. I tried it the next day with me and others, and it worked.

I believe it requites a certain amount of work before, changing the idea of "outside world, external objects make me happy". It a lot of cultural de-programming.

Thx for posting this.