How Many Of You Have Detached From Main Stream Society?

[Lai]

Just now, Vaishnavi said:

I wish to someday, and yea I know about those "dangerous people", don't worry i'll take you along with me, that would help  

I only know of one guy there, but he is very dangerous for your heart.  Be careful.

[electroBeam]

@Lai Dangerous only to those who have danger in their minds.

[Lai]

1 minute ago, electroBeam said:

@Lai Dangerous only to those who have danger in their minds.

 

[Vaishnavi]

5 minutes ago, Lai said:

I only know of one guy there, but he is very dangerous for your heart.  Be careful.

haha, I like him to be honest. 

but i'll get some grenade, just to be on the safer side 

[Posho]

2 hours ago, egoeimai said:

I want to feel that. How? 

Practice and hardwork, going against the society and against yourself. Have the guts? I don't but I know I can build it up. You?

[egoeimai]

3 minutes ago, Posho said:

Practice and hardwork, going against the society and against yourself. Have the guts? I don't but I know I can build it up. You?

I sure have the guts,although I dont like to go extreme as I usually do. Because going extreme will ruin the whole process and purpose.

[Loreena]

@Lai Did you read my answer in one of your  previous topics about advice

[Lai]

1 hour ago, Loreena said:

@Lai Did you read my answer in one of your  previous topics about advice

@Loreena Thank you, yes, even if the advice doesn't apply to my situation.  

[Loreena]

Just now, Lai said:

@Loreena Thank you, yes, even if the advice doesn't apply to my situation.  

@Lai   There's a song waiting for you in the porn section.

[Prabhaker]

3 hours ago, Loreena said:

about advice

Give same advice to the guy, he really needs it.

[Loreena]

@Prabhaker who?? 

[ctro]

On 4/27/2017 at 7:48 PM, Elton said:

This includes detachment from television, social media, parties, clubbing. 

I feel that staying far away in the mountains would be very blissful... 

Detachment from culture, religion... 

Detachment from sex, drugs, alcohol, tabacco,food,talking, socialising... 

Detachment from work and money... 

Only attachment to self, only self actualization... 

Would you like such a life? Or would you hate it and get back dragged in?

I am attached to all these things sex, money, thc,culture, worried about status what others think etc etc no matter how much I fill myself with this I feel even more empty... Few months ago I was self actualizing and I would feel great but drugs, sex and money doesn't give anything yet why am I chasing it? 

What are your thoughts about detachment? 

I don't watch television, use social media, or take in any kind of news, in fact I barely use the internet except for visiting this website and downloading papers to read for school. I don't do drugs, I use very little alcohol, I don't smoke, I am not attached to money (although I have money and I use it) and I am not religious.

On the other hand, I have friends and I sometimes go to their parties and eat food, and talk, and dance, and go clubbing. I have a girlfriend etc.

I don't think that I could be happy without weekly social interactions.

[FindingPeace]

On 27/04/2017 at 6:48 PM, Elton said:

I feel that staying far away in the mountains would be very blissful... 

Detachment from culture, religion... 

Detachment from sex, drugs, alcohol, tabacco,food,talking, socialising... 

Detachment from work and money... 

I think there is a misinterpretation going on here. Detachment is not the same as avoidance or staying away from something. You can still engage in things in life without the attachement. Do they have value or meaning? Maybe not in the grand scheme of things. But that doesn't preclude you from having these experiences. And some of these experiences can be had or used in more meaningful ways than most people have or use them. So perhaps understanding how to get better value out of them would be more appropriate than trying to cut them out of our lives altogether.

It's not actually these pursuits that are inherently a problem. It's the way in which people pursue them that is.

And in any case, attachment is a fairly inherent mechanism of the human mind. In itself it's not actually 'wrong'. I can cause problems for us, sure. But one thing I have learned is that it isn't forming attachments that is the biggest problem. It's not accepting or taking responsibility for our attachments and the consequeces of them that are the main issues.

I went through a phase during my inner development where I started to have this inclination to run away and avoid all of the potential unhealthy pursuits in life. Then I realised that that isn't true inner development. That's actually fake growth. While it can be constructive to build your life away from certain distractions and dysfunctional situations, there's also nothing inherently wrong with enjoying some of the things even if, in the long run, they hold no inherent value. In fact many of these things can be quite rewarding when pursued with the right, responsible, mindset.

Money can be used to seek out the things we value most in life. Work can be enjoyable and also be a source of that money. More to the point, it's realising how much money and work we really need. Money is only a problem when you become obsessed with having as much of it as possible. But how about you look at it differently? How much do you need for the things you value most in life? And how much work do you really need to do to get it? Socialising, relationships, intimacy, talking, hedonic pursuits.. sure we can all list reasons why these things cause suffering in our lives. But looked at from a different perspective each of these things can be things of beauty and pleasure in their own valid rights. The key is not being dependent on them. Not getting attached to them. And taking responsibility for it when we do.

I agree that mainstream society is not a particularly functional place to be. But you don't have to engage with it. And I will probably find a way to live away from it in the future. But the goal of personal growth isn't to become a monk living in a cabin in the mountains. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But to me the goal is to be able to live live with awareness and responsibility whatever we choose to engage in.

 

Edited May 4, 2017 by FindingPeace

[Steph1988]

I'm about halfway and this feels good, 1 leg in society and 1 leg out of it.

- stopped using Facebook 

- limited alcohol use no more drunken nights out or very few

- very little TV 

- most important of all no fakeness in socializing anymore i present myself as i want and it is very hard to do it always 100% but you got to try as much as possible

- much less bragging and lying 

- less fat food (could be better tho) 

- culture only when i like it 

on the other hand i would never detach myself from intimacy and never fully from alcohol or drugs or meat and all that stuff.

i also want to make money but the only reason to do that is to be as free as possible so now i work 2 jobs for a while and i do some stock trading, i also live kind of a minimalist life to modern standards so no subscriptions, cheapest possible phone,less insurance and i buy almost nothing but i do think i am attached to money right now.

 

I do notice here on the forums there is a certain group of people who are attracted to transcending everything you know the real super spiritual crowd and i just want to throw down the suggestion that maybe to just go halfway might be best for most people i just can't see it making people happy aside from a very small minority but maybe i am wrong if so please tell me why .