I have decided to become a 'Cashmaster'

[aurum]

51 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Yes, but the issue is most men don't even know what women want, they think they do but they actually don't. Only the ones who have massive experience in this field, have been through some serious high-class coaching, have actually studied women's behavior while having an understanding of it and the different types of women etc can even come close to understanding the feminine species. So they're actually competing with themselves because that man over there getting all the women in their eyes, those women might not be compatible with his dating style.

Just as how OP thinks all (or even most) women love the macho hard core type and thinks he has to transform himself into what he thinks women want, he has no clue because (and this is just my opinion), the types of women that likes that type won't be suitable for him because those women can spot a mile away if a man is only being what he thinks she wants and how she wants him to be. Personally, I don't even like those types of men because of my personality. A man has to get to know who he's compatible with first before trying to transform himself into what he thinks women want. This is why so many men chase their attraction and then get disinterested because they weren't compatible. 

You make good points. A lot of dating is about sifting through compatibility, which naturally will only happen with certain people. In that sense, we could think of dating not as competition but as a positive-sum matching process.

I'll just say this though. In the time In the time I've spent in "meat locker" environments like night clubs, bars, college parties etc, there is a lot of competition.

Getting sex is no joke for some of these guys. They can be ruthless, and I want guys reading this to be ready for that. Especially if you are a bit more naive and think everyone is just going to be really nice to you.

For example, getting into a "social scuffle" with another guy where you are trying to punk each other over a woman. These happen all the time. Or guys setting up elaborate social circles and events that basically guarantee women around them.

And then even once you are in a long-term relationship with a woman, it's not over. My experience of having an attractive partner is that it's like walking around with a giant bag of money in a dangerous neighborhood. Guys are going to hit on her, even if they know you are with her. And if you're really not careful, it might even be your close friends.

it's a jungle out there sometimes. A bunch of animals fighting over mates.

Side note: I don't think it's just men who are competing. Women compete as well, but it tends to look different.

[Princess Arabia]

21 minutes ago, aurum said:

Side note: I don't think it's just men who are competing. Women compete as well, but it tends to look different.

You got that right. They are actually worse, sometimes. It's just in a different way, as you said. Men are "physical driven" - attracted to how a woman look, so women compete with looks and not with personality type. Females don't go around trying to change their personalities to attract men, they change the way they look. It's easier. Put on some make-up, wear a certain kind of clothing, enhance their boobs, walk a certain way, etcetc. Men don't need to compete in this way, but they try to compete by emulating other men's personalities -at least the ones that believe this works. By being more macho or "playerish" or whatever. There's no competition for men unless they get to the core, the root, improving themselves internally in whichever way as in more confidence, more charismatic, charming etc, those traits can't be copied on the spot, they have to be engrained and they become that. A woman can take off all that she uses to attract a man and put it back on whenever she's ready, a man has to become it. That's the difference. 

Of course that female won't keep a certain type of man only with her looks she has to also do the inner work for what she's trying to achieve if it's a relationship with a high-quality man, but that's for another topic.

Edited September 8 by Princess Arabia

[integral]

 

[aurum]

3 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Men don't need to compete in this way, but they try to compete by emulating other men's personalities -at least the ones that believe this works. By being more macho or "playerish" or whatever. There's no competition for men unless they get to the core, the root, improving themselves internally in whichever way as in more confidence, more charismatic, charming etc, those traits can't be copied on the spot, they have to be engrained and they become that. A woman can take off all that she uses to attract a man and put it back on whenever she's ready, a man has to become it. That's the difference.

I get what you’re saying. Guys can definitely be try-hard, and that is cringey. They’re trying to find their confidence because they know that’s what women want.

But I would argue there is still competition, regardless of how much core confidence a guy has developed. Dating just is competitive by nature.

And it’s actually going through that competition where a lot of guys gain a deeper core confidence. If you can survive in the jungle, a guy will feel a different way about themselves.

[Princess Arabia]

26 minutes ago, aurum said:

But I would argue there is still competition, regardless of how much core confidence a guy has developed. Dating just is competitive by nature.

And it’s actually going through that competition where a lot of guys gain a deeper core confidence. If you can survive in the jungle, a guy will feel a different way about themselves.

For sure.

[Tenebroso]

7 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Yes, but the issue is most men don't even know what women want, they think they do but they actually don't. Only the ones who have massive experience in this field, have been through some serious high-class coaching, have actually studied women's behavior while having an understanding of it and the different types of women etc can even come close to understanding the feminine species. So they're actually competing with themselves because that man over there getting all the women in their eyes, those women might not be compatible with his dating style.

Just as how OP thinks all (or even most) women love the macho hard core type and thinks he has to transform himself into what he thinks women want, he has no clue because (and this is just my opinion), the types of women that likes that type won't be suitable for him because those women can spot a mile away if a man is only being what he thinks she wants and how she wants him to be. Personally, I don't even like those types of men because of my personality. A man has to get to know who he's compatible with first before trying to transform himself into what he thinks women want. This is why so many men chase their attraction and then get disinterested because they weren't compatible. 

Insightful post.

What are the first steps to becoming a man who understand women? 

How do you find who you are compatible with? If you have never attracted anyone, wouldn't it be difficult to gain the experience to understand different types of women and those who would be compatible with you? Seems like a catch 22, you need experience to get experience kind of thing.

[Princess Arabia]

39 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

What are the first steps to becoming a man who understand women? 

Be genuinely interested in her. (which is mostly going to interest older men or the more mature who have been through the chasing pussy stage).  Becoming a great listener. Ask questions and genuinely be interested in the answers and be without judgement in that moment. Question women friends, relatives and the platonics on their likes and dislikes about men....etcetc things like that. Note however that these are just guidelines and nothing concrete as women can get flimsy and wishy washy, but the more you do this, you'll get a better at formulating your own assessments on the general scale. Most men are into themselves and love to talk about themselves,(this is an observationand not a criticism), so you'll definitely have one up on them in this regard by adopting this strategy. Even just doing this alone with a date or a potential date will give attraction points because it's so rare coming from a man and women love to see genuine interest.

 

39 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

How do you find who you are compatible with? If you have never attracted anyone, wouldn't it be difficult to gain the experience to understand different types of women and those who would be compatible with you? Seems like a catch 22, you need experience to get experience kind of thing.

This will be more of a trial and error but going to mutual places of interest will help. Like, if you like athletic women go to the gym or women who are into music, go to concerts or women who love sports, you get the drift. Go to places where you would find the type of women you think you'd be attracted to on a personal level. If you hate promiscuous women, don't go to clubs or bars to try to find one - not saying they all are but to narrow it down a bit. 

Try to be yourself around them and what I mean by that is to not pretend to think you know what they want or that you're somebody you're not. We all act differently around different people and we all have multiple personalities depending on whom we're interacting with but we also have a baseline personality and you want to show that one more when trying to meet women for dating. After you've gotten to know her a bit, you can probably show some sides to you that may compliment what she has shown you, but let her shine so you're able to get to see more of her and be able to decide more quickly if she's compatible or not. 

Edited September 9 by Princess Arabia

[Tenebroso]

@Princess Arabia I read a lot and go to events at bookstores but it still seems I am invisible. 

Thanks for your help.

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Tenebroso said:

@Princess Arabia I read a lot and go to events at bookstores but it still seems I am invisible. 

Thanks for your help.

Yes you are invisible until you're not. It's not the female's job to hunt for you. You have to come out your shell and open up. Be open to rejections and start flirting and socializing. Read @Emerald's comment to you in the other section. I also second her. Plenty of not-so good looking guys, even broke, get gfs. You just have to open up and be vulnerable. Men are invisible to women if they're in a shell.

[Javfly33]

On 08/09/2024 at 3:22 AM, Emerald said:

In this regard, it's just the same way that men operate when they pursue a woman they're attracted to.

Likely when you're attracted to a woman, it's not a sense of rewarding the woman with affection because she earned it by doing x, y, or z. There is likely no sense that you are rewarding women by being attracted to them or sexually involved with them. It's just a desire to move towards them because it feels good to you.

The same thing is true when a woman is attracted to a man. It's just a feeling of desire that arises for her subjectively. There is no sense of rewarding the man with affection as a woman doesn't look at herself as a scorekeeper who rewards certain behaviors and punishes others.

Punishment and rewards don't even enter her mind... nor is she even thinking logically about which qualities the man possesses that are more or less "deserving" of her affection. If she really likes the guy, she is mostly worries if he likes her in return.

There is just a tendency in books and movies and things for women to serve as the prize or the validator of the male main character. But that's not how it is in reality.

From the woman's perspective, it's just doing what feels good subjectively and pursuing what produces amorous feelings. And it's mostly about seeking intimacy and sometimes other feelings.

@Emerald @Princess Arabia Oh ok, that makes sense. Yeah i didnt meant they the women was actually conscious thinking "im going to reward this guy with affection". More like thats what they are attracted to and therefore in the mind of males a certain "understanding" that he has to be "bad" to be attractive happens.

Altough is not always "bad" but maybe confident or assertive. But in this case, the findommes usually just naturally repost and like and even comment pictures of Cashmasters (male doms) yet they treat like utter garbage to subs.

Altough is true also that the fetish is about humiliation so that could influence that behavior. But Still ive tried to flirt a bit sometimes with dommes from the sub side and It goes completely nowhere.

 However the moment i created myself as Dom account and started posting pics, suddenly in a magical way dommes were not so bitchy and rude to me . At one point i realized with this single change in attitude i was talking with several 10/10 dommes just fornfree sometimes, when other subs have to pay them even to send them a single message.

What changed? That i went from loser low self esteem mindset to dom crusher confident cocky asshole. I would like to be in an balanced way and not have to be a cringe asshole that feels is above everyone else in order to attract women. Altough is true also that the ecosystem of financial domination might not be the most balanced place to flirt and find a date.

@Emerald Btw, please accept my apologies because of the post of the other day where I told you you shouldn´t reply to me more times in the forum. I took things personally/emotionally and i was being kind of a dick that day. I do Appreciate your input in my posts. 

Edited September 10 by Javfly33

[Emerald]

9 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

 

@Emerald Btw, please accept my apologies because of the post of the other day where I told you you shouldn´t reply to me more times in the forum. I took things personally/emotionally and i was being kind of a dick that day. I do Appreciate your input in my posts. 

No worries. It's all good.