[SERIOUS] Suicidal due to academic situation. | I have a note and rope ready.

[integration journey]

5 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

He's done such a great service to humanity with most of his videos especially ones like these. Can't take that away from him and he will reap so many benefits 10x fold just from this service alone. It's a pity his health issues are so predominantly affecting him so or he would be unstoppable in this regard.

Beautifully said.

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, integration journey said:

Beautifully said.

Came from the heart, thanks.❤️

[Miguel1]

7 hours ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

Yeah, but you were probably able to pass the classes, even if you realized engineering was not right for you. My issues is that I'm not even able to pass CALCULUS ONE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Why am I so below average? Less than a thousand SAT score, 2.6 community college G.P.A., and now that I've failed so many courses, my University G.P.A. is currently 1.7. Why is this happening to me of all people?

In retro spect, I could've passed Calculus One on my third attempt during the summer session if I had gone to the professors office hours. Why didn't I do that? I was well aware that this was my last shot! What was I thinking?

Remember that there are millions and possibly billions who are the same or worse.

Do you think they should all kill themselves?

Don’t you think that’s a bit too unreasonable?

Cut your ropes to million pieces now.

Edited September 7 by Miguel1

[Joshe]

@Husseinisdoingfine You already made it further than I ever did in academia. I never even took calculus. After I quit high school, I tried community college and then quit that. Then I went on to work construction for 10 years. I felt like a huge loser. Now, I'm glad it went the way it did. If I were to have wound up at some college, I'd probably be working a job that does not suit me and married with children right now... totally fucked. 

Enduring these hard knocks bring strength and wisdom. They make you strong. No pressure, no diamonds. You have plenty of time to figure it out. 

Also, sociology is an incredibly interesting field of study. Maybe let it marinate for a while. It might grow on you. 

 

Edited September 7 by Joshe

[Moutushi]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Husseinisdoingfine A better video for you to watch is the one called The Power Of Letting Go.

You just need to let go of your old expectations and career plans. Those were a fantasy. You will let go of that fantasy and then live in a more grounded and genuine way.

Somewhere along the way you got suckered into this fantasy of academia as some ultimate goal and good. It's like you're in a religion -- the religion of academia. It's time for that fantasy to die. You don't need it. There is an infinite universe beyond academia.

- - - - -

But you need to make a change at this point to your attitude and life. Do not just sweep this issue under the rug and keep doing the same old thing but harder. You need to change or you will end up dead.

We here are confident you can find a good life outside academia.

@Husseinisdoingfine I say this with all love, and I appreciate you putting yourself out there for people to learn lessons from your experience and mistakes, as there are many youngsters on this forum who are around your age, lost, and not courageous enough as you to ask for help and guidance from others. 

 I've seen @Leo Gura share this advice so many times to youngsters in their 20s on this forum, and how it's far too early in many cases for them to heavily be involved in spirituality at their age when they are still living with their parents like your case, and financially dependent on them in many cases.  

Despite not having joined the forum yet, for many years I've seen you post and engage on this forum about soo many topics, at your young age, you've spent far too much time on this forum on high-level topics that you should focus on once your basics are done.  Your focus should be to put aside high-level topics for now until your bases are covered, and instead focus heavily on the basics like "cleaning your room" and work your damn ass off now, getting clear on what you need to do to build up your financial freedom and covering your bases so that you can have a life where you have the freedom to develop spiritually

[Buck Edwards]

3 minutes ago, Moutushi said:

@Husseinisdoingfine I say this with all love, and I appreciate you putting yourself out there for people to learn lessons from your experience and mistakes, as there are many youngsters on this forum who are around your age, lost, and not courageous enough as you to ask for help and guidance from others. 

 I've seen @Leo Gura share this advice so many times to youngsters in their 20s on this forum, and how it's far too early in many cases for them to heavily be involved in spirituality at their age when they are still living with their parents like your case, and financially dependent on them in many cases.  

Despite not having joined the forum yet, for many years I've seen you post and engage on this forum about soo many topics, at your young age, you've spent far too much time on this forum on high-level topics that you should focus on once your basics are done.  Your focus should be to put aside high-level topics for now until your bases are covered, and instead focus heavily on the basics like "cleaning your room" and work your damn ass off now, getting clear on what you need to do to build up your financial freedom and covering your bases so that you can have a life where you have the freedom to develop spiritually

Guy, did you just dole out the best advice on the forum?, how did you come up with that? 

[Fountainbleu]

I know someone who kept saying how hard of a degree Engineering was (because of the Math). They dropped out and picked another major. They ended up becoming CEO of a large company. 

Edited September 7 by Fountainbleu

[Moutushi]

10 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Guy, did you just dole out the best advice on the forum?, how did you come up with that? 

It came from the Heart

[puporing]

Yeah it's pretty clear you were not suited for that field and that's partly what school is meant for too... Like imagine if it just gave everyone who enters the field a degree, especially something that is more "serious" like physics or engineering.. 

You feel suicidal sounds like there's another substantive reason besides your major/chosen field, because you mentioned about money associated with sociology. Perhaps you also feel there's no guaranteed work after schooling - this isn't ungrounded a lot of undergraduate degrees are "pretty much useless" for getting a good career. These days I feel like if someone is just going to do a general degree without much research or orientation as to why they're doing it they might as well use that money to start a business... 

I recommend looking at programs in smaller universities and trade schools too that offer something more tangible. They can be overlooked but imo have higher chance of you finding a decent paying job and something tailored to a specific industry. 

Edited September 7 by puporing

[Lyubov]

I can see you are contemplating self harm and to be honest I would really take a deep breath on that and realize you are not a victim him. I can see passing this class meant a lot and you sound incredibly stressed. Stop this and just get out into nature. Take some breathes. Get some sun on your face. Look at your body, is it healthy? Can you walk? Take your shoes off and go walk in some grass. I’m telling you now from my perspective this is not worth it man. You’re a young guy and there’s so many amazing opportunities to life. I have the most worthless degree and could go totally broke at 34 next year but I’m happy. Every day I wake up. There’s challenges in my life but damn I’m telling you it’s such a gift and we are so lucky to be alive here. You are not a victim and you don’t deserve this type of self punishment. Stop this nonsense. You are valuable and you have value no matter what even if you pass a class or not. 

Edited September 7 by Lyubov

[Lyubov]

You could maybe make a case to me that suicide is justified if you have some incredibly painful late stage cancer where ever moment of your life is filled with physical pain, but man I’m telling you, get some perspective on this and you will see this just is not it bro. You sound like a young guy, spiritual because you’re here. Do you believe you have innate spiritual value no matter what? Why not connect with this. This is where your true talents and genius lie. Your life is just beginning man. 

[Lyubov]

If you guys even knew the lows I hit before my glow up. I was a porn addicted incel until I was 25/26 years old. Never wanted to kill myself. It doesn’t even make sense. You will die one day, time will take you. Why not make the absolute best of what you have now? Do you believe you can’t? Why do think you need this exact degree to be successful? Even with that aside why do you believe you lack value? That’s the core issue. You are posting here so to me you’re probably more interesting than most people. You need to value yourself man. You are valuable bro don’t forget this. 

[puporing]

And.. there are "physics adjacent" jobs in high ish demand, or "sociology adjacent" jobs. Like.. you can figure out what is the essence you like about those fields and take that and see if you can find it in other programs/jobs. And well there's also nothing preventing you from coming back to something later when you feel like you can do well again if your first choice stays with you.. 

I think a lot of youngsters are fed this expectation that if they didn't get their first choice right away out of high school then they have "failed at life". But it's really a kind of conditioning people like to put on each other especially when they are young..

Edited September 7 by puporing

[Kid A]

I wasn’t able to pass the first year of nursing studies, even though I worked my ass off. Made me a little suicidal too. 
Two years later: Now I study something I’m much better suited for and I’m happy with my life.

[numbersinarow]

Only option = suicide, = nonsense.

Why would a physics degree make suicide YOUR only option? You make suicide your only option by attaching yourself to a physics degree. It is also nearly impossible to de-sculpt yourself from that desire. You can't not feel the pain, not feel the desire, just from one decision.

Because of factors such as brainwashing and social and psycho-societal validation you want a physics degree, but you also simultaneously choose to live up to your desire and affirm yourself along with it.

Now there can only be a leftover of the desire which you don't control, but do control whether or not you commit suicide or whether or not you affirm the desire.

There might be incredible difficulty in trying to give up that goal fully simply because it failed AKA due to an outside circumstance which is supposed to be the thing going against it. How well will this be accepted by your mind? Not very well at all. But it will also find nothing wrong with just choosing something else or just wanting something else. Or simply acknowledging that it's no longer possible to get the physics degree.

[Ayham]

Hey I'm a bit late to the thread and my post will probably be lost in between all those posts here trying to stop you or convince you otherwise.

I want to say that I'm in your situation and I understand how you feel, I grew up from a family of doctors, got accepted into a gifted school, then the best high school in my country, people in my country all shoot to be doctors because it's the only job with government job guaranteed, I got brainwashed with the Idea at some point, a lot of my pairs from this school went to be a doctor.

 

I fucked up my grades in 12th grade which are the only basis for where you get accepted, I have always been the worst student in this very prestigious school I am in, the work load is insane, I never developed enough work ethic because I always relied on being "gifted" and able to do well without studying, I tried a lot to work on that, but I just can't make myself focus about something I am not curious of.

I understand how it feels, trying so hard for good grades and all, and no matter how much you can't do what you are supposed to, especially when your self esteem is built on it.

I destroyed all my family expectations, I am going into another thing for college, something that actually suits me and encourages self learning, or I'm trying to make it so at least.

 

I read this yesterday but I was busy, I wanted to write some useful advice like the others did but you got that already, I tried to share something that might make you feel not alone.

Take some time in solitude, nature, and figure out what suits you and your strengths, where you need to go.

You got this brother, have faith in yourself.

 

You will come out well, this too shall pass.

[Bobby_2021]

Just a couple of days before I talked another 23 yo out of killing himself.

The common theme in both your situations is NOT some flimsy issue that you failed your classes.

The problem is that you exaggerate it to the point that you are hopeless about your future. 

Whatever you say, it's incorrect to assume you would know your future 5 years from now. Stop assuming please.

You need HOPE for the future. You are repeating the mistake of being in a career that you simply can't keep up with. We have all been there and we have switched. Even though engineering is my passion I still hated my engineering jobs. It's not because of you. It's because the whole capitalist system is designed to suffocate the human psyche, for which your college is guilty. The corporate are 10 times more hellish that that. Carve your own path. Spend more time thinking.

DM me if you want to talk. 

[AION]

Kill your outdated ideas. Not your physical body. 

[Atb210201]

Dude don't just end your life for some money or some university or some success

Be a failure what's wrong with that?

There's more to life it's not just about these things

Just contemplate on what else you can do in your life if all that you're doing right now fails so be it what else can you do with your life without them

Just trust that if you can't get what you want you will get something better in the long run if you're patient you have to have that trust in God or the Universe

Think about all the things that you love about life not the things that's driving you to end it

Think about the things that make you wanna live

Just know that God needs you Existence needs you Life needs you that's why you were born and that's why you're still alive and not dead

We all need you to be alive that is the ultimate reason that you are still alive the whole Universe needs you alive otherwise you'd already be dead

Don't do it we all literally need you to be alive for sure

Something in the puzzle of the whole Universe will be missing if you weren't alive

Just stay alive and wait the time for death will come itself when the Universe fulfilled the destiny it was planning for you

So you just wait and be alive till then

For all of us

Edited September 7 by Atb210201

[Ramanujan]

Our education system is a scam

So don't beat yourself up. 

My advice 

Go to a low tier university where academic pressure is not so high and go for a computer science degree

Read a book called make it stick which has a lot of research on how to study

Learn to use a software called anki.

Anki is very good for memorizing things

Using Anki grind your way through that computer science degree