This is a frustrating situation that I'm in, but here we go.  So the University I attend is part of the University System of Maryland. This matters because in this system, there is a policy in which a student must not be allowed to repeat a course more than three times.  The first time I took Calculus I, I dropped it (counts as first attempt) because there were too many classes on my schedule and I was overwhelmed. The second time, I accidentally missed my final exam and scored and F in the class. The third time just happened, and I scored a D. It was a reduced 6-week summer session. I should have visited the office hours of the professor, as well as the supplemental instruction, but didn't because I thought my knowledge from the previous attempt would transfer over.  I needed at least a C grade in order to qualify for Calculus II and Physics II. I earned a B in Physics I, but because my grade in Calculus I is a D, I no longer am eligible to earn a Physics degree at this University as I have failed to earn the requirement.  I filled out a petition requesting that my major be changed to Sociology, for which I'm very unhappy about. Sociology is not a profitable degree, its practically on the same tier as Gender studies. I chose it because its my other passion, part from Physics.  Because Sociology is not a degree which can earn me a good job out of college, I feel very hopeless and distressed. I also feel very inferior, how was I not able to pass Calculus I for fucks sake, what is wrong with me. That's a freshman throwaway class! I don't understand this about myself, but anything that involved Calculations, I simply cannot do. I remember I had to do take a mandatory Computer Science class, for which I scored a D in. We had to solve binary problems, converting 1's and 0's into numbers, and vice versa. I rehearsed this numerous times the day before, but on the day of the test I simply looked looked at the paper and I couldn't remember what I had just rehearsed the day before at all.  On my second attempt of Calculus I, I had failed every single weekly quiz, how does that happen? Not one quiz did I score an A grade on. Even in my mandatory chemistry class, I scored a D because the highest grade I got on any exam was a C, despite going to office hours and studying for each test two weeks in advance. Because in chemistry, there are calculations required to balance the different electrons and such. On my final exam day, I just walked out the room with half the test blank because I looked at the page, and I couldn't remember anything! I had studied, studied a lot, but the individual calculations I couldn't remember, despite practicing the week before.  My original plan to ensure my survival of working for SpaceEx or something like that just flew out the window, and the only forceable solution for my situation is suicide. Even if I do complete this degree in Sociology, what am I supposed to do with it? I have already bought a rope, for which I have tied into a slipknot, and saved into my backpack. I printed out a note, explaining my justifications and reasonings. I as well have a location and a plan. I will simply go to the stairwell of the on campus apartments, and hang myself from the metal beams comprising the staircase railings. The advice on how to hang myself comes from this website: *Edit: link deleted, but it was a suicide website which provided explicit instructions on how to commit suicide* Edit | tldr: My university has a policy preventing students from re-taking a course more than three times. I failed to pass calculus I with a grade of C or better on my third attempt, meaning I'm ineligible for a Physics degree as Calculus I is mandatory. I switched my major to my other passion, Sociology, but Sociology is not a profitable major. With my career plans in the toilet, I have decided that my only option is suicide.