[SERIOUS] Suicidal due to academic situation. | I have a note and rope ready.

[Husseinisdoingfine]

How to cope with the fact that my less profitable degree is going to take more than four years as I’ve effectively reset my progress.

[Leo Gura]

@Husseinisdoingfine Why do you need a degree?

It seems like you are just doing this because society excepts it of you.

[Majed]

@Leo Gura i want to pursue my passion but my parents pressure me to go to college to make money. they don't see a way outside of college to earn a decent living. how can i convince them that making money with my passion is possible? 

[gambler]

22 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

How to cope with the fact that my less profitable degree is going to take more than four years as I’ve effectively reset my progress.

It took me 8 years to finish my university degree due to my own problems. When I went to university, in my own country, only 38% of university enrollments were men. And it's been the same every year since. So you are actually like the rest of us, you're not a lone wolf friend.

Anyways, you can take a full semester during the summer too. Keep doing that and you can reduce it to 3 years.

Edited September 8 by gambler

[Husseinisdoingfine]

26 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Husseinisdoingfine Why do you need a degree?

It seems like you are just doing this because society excepts it of you.

What am I supposed to tell my parents? What am I going to do for work and for living? I’m still living with them (parents). Am I going to work a minimum wage job, move out to some crappy apartment, and work on my life purpose in my spare time?

Im really in college because I don’t want to let my parents down and we’re already so invested in this.

[Husseinisdoingfine]

@Harsh Bagdia I would be happy to hear your perspective.

[Husseinisdoingfine]

I’m as well incredibly motivated by envy. How is it that the other students are able to pass Calculus I and are able to graduate on time? I pursued Physics to sort of prove that I was smart.

[Harsh Bagdia]

@Husseinisdoingfine Thanks for being curious and letting me share this..

So where do I begin..

Let's start from the start, 

Rewinding back 7 years, 

IIT obsession - 

- finishing my sophomore year, I was preparing for IITs - top engineering colleges in India that are like ridiculously hard to get into 
- out of 12 lakh kids who appeared with me, around 2 lakh gets to qualify for the IIT-exam out of which only 10,000 get the seats. It's less than 0.01 percent
- i dont remember exactly but my rank was around 25k something. I was heartbroken as I studied pretty hard for it. 
- my obsession with IIT was so much that I used to study for retaking that exam, even while being in local college. (which was not bad at all)
- after a point i dropped out of college as it was getting difficult to juggle both the things. 
- the second time my rank was good around 7k something but still i needed 4k for my dream college and stream. so i chose another top college. 

Feeling lost and falling into addiction trap - 

- I was so tired and bored with studies during my earlier phase that i had no motivation left to do good in college
- my social circle was the worst who only knew partying, drinking, smoking
- don't even ask my grades, I barely passed and that too through unauthorized assistance lol
- honestly I felt stupid, had no sense of direction, no healthy social life
- however two good things happened that prevented me from becoming a total disaster
- I pursued certification course in acturial science, only because my elder brother suggested it. While I didn't complete it, it triggered my love of learning/problem-solving again. I used to love maths as a kid. Always scoring full scores. Engaging with it again gave me immense pleasure
- Second amazing thing that happened was that I tried acid. A friend of friend got it from somewhere.
- The setting was not good, nor safe and I don't recommend anyone trying it without experts opinion and considering legal norms. 
- However one thing it did greatly was putting me out of my negative, limited mindset for a while and showed me 'life'
- This sheer intensity of life overwhelmed me. To a degree that I knew I needed to change my course and make a fresh start. 

Continuing in the next post 

Edited September 9 by Harsh Bagdia

[gambler]

12 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

I’m as well incredibly motivated by envy. How is it that the other students are able to pass Calculus I and are able to graduate on time? I pursued Physics to sort of prove that I was smart.

You can always improve your intellect. They say the brain isn't fully developed for men until or after 25? What you struggle today, you might see clarity in tomorrow. So it's fine if certain subjects are more challenging today, it may not be the case in a few years. I know I struggled with taxation, but after 3 or 4 years, I took the second course for it, which was seen as more "challenging" than the first, but I did not struggle this time around at all, and it was a cake walk.

Edited September 9 by gambler

[Jacob Morres]

31 minutes ago, Majed said:

@Leo Gura i want to pursue my passion but my parents pressure me to go to college to make money. they don't see a way outside of college to earn a decent living. how can i convince them that making money with my passion is possible? 

They won't probably wont get convinced without proof tbh 

[Harsh Bagdia]

2 minutes ago, Harsh Bagdia said:

Continuing in the next post 

Journey from Psychotic to Mystic 

- This was when I got in touch with my intuition. It said me to 'Drop out this college'.
- It didn't say me anything else, just this. Most of my friends, teachers, family considered this stupid. 
- But I KNEW this is what must be done. 
- Now I clearly see how it was one of the best decisions I ever took..it opened a whole new world for me
- so as I dropped and shifted to my hometown, I shared about my addiction issue with my parents and quitted it totally
- then without any invitation or expectation, life brought me the toughest, weirdest, dangerous phase - psychosis
- my mind became like a badly cooked soup of - withdrawls/cravings + zero idea of career + internalizing people's negative judgement + unstructured info about psychology/spirituality/self help +  radical creative power of mind
- to be more precise it was depression, anxiety, mid-life crisis, existential crisis everything together
- And I had all the time in the world, so I became attuned to experiencing psychosis
- experienced disoriented thinking, making foolish connections between things and events, having a subtle sense of thrill out of this mental mess
- I sought a good psychotherapist who could just make sense of my way of sense-making
- Instead I had to go to a stupid psychiatrist for the lack of therapists at my place.. who asked us to shift me to psychward 
- Now belonging to a conservative Indian family, we didn't want this. Me and my family were scared as fuck
- And that's when my intuition entered again. So it asked me to visit our maternal grandmother.. she has this power of entering into higher states of consciousness when listening and singing bhajans.
- While in that state she kept her hand above my head and I felt this supreme level of calm. It was total blank and peacful
- Then she said to everyone, that nothing has happened to him, just continue living like normal and that gave me the courage, confidence and power to improve my life situation
- Fast forwarding 3-4 years into the future, I watched Leo's videos like a just born child having infinite curiosity

tbc

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

Im really in college because I don’t want to let my parents down and we’re already so invested in this.

That's the whole problem you are avoiding.

You just gotta tell them that college is not right for you and that you will explore other careers.

Let your parents down. So what?

What do you think you're doing when you hang yourself?

You gotta let go of this pleasing your parents thing. You don't have to please anyone.

Edited September 9 by Leo Gura

[TheEnigma]

Don't do it! University is not worth a life! I know it's hard. But you have other gifts, I'm sure you do!

[Harsh Bagdia]

1 hour ago, Harsh Bagdia said:

Journey from Psychotic to Mystic 


- Fast forwarding 3-4 years into the future, I watched Leo's videos like a just born child having infinite curiosity

- read books, took notes, consumed other creators content, took baby steps
- went to a 10 day naturopathy healing center, got rid of withdrawls & depression
- enrolled in local commerce college just to have a degree
- started supporting my father in our traditional family business.. I was super-lucky to have this time of exploration without having to worrying about career/finances
- joined other skill based classes in local which made me social, functional and intellectual again
- I discovered my passion for philosophy & psychology.. even enrolled in distance learning psychology degree (didn't continue it after 2nd year as I got way better knowledge through YT and other self-study means)
- got to know about god/awakening/spirituality which blew my mind again.. but this time out of curiosity rather than suffering
- I din't care about anything else other than this
- It was like I contemplated on this for most of my waking time..kind of like Self-Enquiring 4 hours daily for years
- Did Vipassana, Inner engineering and other Yoga programs by Sadhguru, tried mushrooms and ayahuasca
- and finally understood what God, Leo, other teachers were trying to communicate with me
- It's that - 'It is what I say it is' or 'I am what I say I am' or rather 'what I choose I am'
- Not what God says, but what I say
- And that was my moment of realization 

From Monk-mode to Work-mode 

- Then what? A field of infinite possibilities opened up for me
- I immediately moved out (my parents tried their best emotional blackmail to stop me lol), took a content writing job as writing was a skill I trained to a degree (my cover letter was so good, they didn't even bother asking about my credentials)
- Gained experience, confidence and marketing knowledge
- Shifted back to my hometown, this time out of genuine desire to support my father and grow our family business.
- tried bunch of different stuff too like stock trading, teaching, writing..did Life Purpose course again
- Have been having best relationship with parents since then.. not because I listened to them and came back to join our edible-oil trading biz (that I left again as my father found my ideas way too radical) but because I've got the backbone of self-respect and genuine love for my parents. Their manipulations seem like child's naughtiness to me. And I can clearly see their love for me in certain actions. We love spending time with each other. but coming back to our work discussion,
- only a few months back finally finalizing to make my career in copywriting and marketing
- did a few online courses and have been pursuing freelancing since then
- I can't put into words the level of clarity that I have now. My mind works like a flowing river when I intend and focus it like that.


Now why did I share my history in such detail and how does it relate to your situation? how you might benefit from this?

I will like to mention a few key points that will help you sort things up:

1. Getting into a state of happiness first, before trying to figure it all out

Note that it took me far too much time to figure it all out. Heck, many people still haven't figured it out. 

See what you're saying is that - I will only be happy when I have certainty about my future.

And we are saying that - 

• don't worry about it so much as of now, take a chill pill
• do what needs to be done like confronting your parents and let them know that you don't want to continue engineering or whatever your take is
• have patience, do the right things - like getting any basic job that pays the bills, explore your interests, etc etc..
• hey and even leo's new course is also coming, aren't you excited for it?? If I were at your place I would postpone dying until then 😄 (hey sorry didnt mean to joke about it..i could never know your pain and I wish you fast healing)

once you have the right state of mind, right careers will appear in front of you like a shining diamond. You wouldn't be able to miss them even if you try. You will just know that this is the thing for me and I will achieve the highest possible success in this.


2. Making your parents proud vs making yourself proud

• Please don't even think of taking your life away (now don't say it is automatic.. we do have the ability to direct our thoughts.. please steer your car to make a U turn)
• I can't even imagine the suffering my parents would go through if I ever did suicide. It kills me to imagine that
• Dude, you need to first experience what being a parent is like. Only then you will be able to appreciate their love for you. Forget dying, you will wish you could serve them for all your life
• I am getting a taste of this just by becoming a dog-parent. Being a parent is like nurturing an extension of yourself
• So what if they weren't able to nurture you the way you wanted? They did the best they could
• They didn't have the level of information distribution as we have in this age. But that doesn't mean they should be punished for being ignorant. Yes you don't want to punish them, but they will surely experience it as punishment

One good idea I will like to share with you that I have as my aim is - how about forgiving them for whatever shit, and becoming parent to your parents? I will make myself proud when I am able to fully do that. In doing that, I don't care if they get ashamed of me.. (honestly I do care, but not more than making myself proud)


3. Unlocking your genius
 

• I am cent percent sure that there is a talent within you that is waiting to be honed, waiting to be appreciated
• I am not saying this to cheer you up or anything, I am saying this with having a deep understanding of how life operates
• The fact that you were considering taking your life says that you have so much repressed energy that is seeking expression
• Also the fact of changing careers shows you are wise as Leo mentioned. You like to think far ahead and can't pursue something which you don't see blossoming into something great..
• This is good however don't discount the process by which this discovery/unlocking of genius happens. For you to find your niche/field of expertise or whatever you want to call it, it is necessary for you to go through this frustrating phase of dissatisfaction with current career choice..
• You see, there's a flow here.. from discontentment to contentment..
• So according to me, this current event is a call for you to seek your calling
• As Leo said in his videos, make finding your life purpose, your life purpose!

[Harsh Bagdia]

3 hours ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

 I pursued Physics to sort of prove that I was smart.

haha..you make me remember so much about my younger self.. here's one more perspective..

Prove YOURSELF right now that you're smart by making the smartest move one could make..  given the situation you're in. 

When you will make that move, I don't know about others but you will definitely be amazed by how smart you could be

 

[Harsh Bagdia]

7 hours ago, Harsh Bagdia said:

 In the end, I will also share a career path that I think will be ridiculously awesome for you. 

This was basically that solve the current problem you're in by whatever means possible and then sell a systemic solution for the same. 

There would be others too who would be struggling with this. You can come up with your own term for it - maybe 'navigate college like a badass' which would be a group coaching where you give youngsters tips, tricks, principles, etc to help them ace their college life in every way - be its studies, personal development, dating, then life purpose, then maybe giving them a clue towards awakening/spirituality. 

Basically helping them to not make the same mistakes as you did and making them take right steps which would put them on a right track. 

Isn't it what Leo is doing? 

Yes and No. While yes Leo is doing it but you can go super-deep in this rabbit hole. You can expand it to tackle each and every problem that a college student faces from budgeting to studies to how to manage parental expectations along with pursuing your passion etc etc and you can do this in a much more intimate way as in conducting zoom meetings, giving them weekly assignments/journaling prompts. 

 

How you can go about this is - 

 

1. Solve your own problem first 

• Seek experts guidance
• Heal emotionally
• explore pluses and minuses of different careers, getting a degree vs not getting a degree etc 
• Becoming financially independent 

2. Learn at the very least basics of online business, marketing and sales 

• There is no lack of knowledge regarding this 
• There are a lot of tools you can use to simplify this process
• Test and start it..

3. Improvise and grow

• Take Feedback and improve your service
• Hire people, so you can focus on what you do the best
• Expand by addressing their struggles in an even deeper layer 

 

[Something Funny]

@Leo Gura what would you do in his situation practically? Lets say he decides to stops pleasing his parents and drops out of college (after studying for 4 years and almost finishing it). What are the next steps?

[Something Funny]

@Husseinisdoingfine are you really so afraid of disappointing your parents that you would rather kill yourself? 

Do you think having a relationship like this is okay?

[Leo Gura]

21 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

@Leo Gura what would you do in his situation practically? Lets say he decides to stops pleasing his parents and drops out of college (after studying for 4 years and almost finishing it). What are the next steps?

I would take a good chunk of time off from school and work, go into solitude and reflect on my top values and brainstorm a new vision for my life.

This is about finding yourself.

Edited September 9 by Leo Gura

[Something Funny]

7 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I would take a good chunk of time off from school and work, go into solitude and reflect on my top values and brainstorm a new vision for my life.

This is about finding yourself.

I see.

Can I play devil's advocate a bit? If I was in his place I would probably say something like: "but I don't have an opportunity to do that. My parents will kick me out if I leave college and I will have to get some minimum wage job at mcdonalds and might get stuck doing that for a long time because it will be so mentally taxing and exhausting."