[SERIOUS] Suicidal due to academic situation. | I have a note and rope ready.

[Keryo Koffa]

9 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

This is not, and I repeat, not for people who suffer from serious mental issues. Stop pushing this on those who threaten what he has threatened. Maybe an ayahuasca ceremony or mindfulness meditation or something like that but psychedelics might not be a good idea in his frame of mind.

Agree to disagree. It's irresponsible not to do psychedelics.

[Husseinisdoingfine]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

I switched my major from out of enginnering after years of study because I realized engineering was a bad fit for my personality. Imagine if I killed myself instead. That would be silly.

Yeah, but you were probably able to pass the classes, even if you realized engineering was not right for you. My issues is that I'm not even able to pass CALCULUS ONE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Why am I so below average? Less than a thousand SAT score, 2.6 community college G.P.A., and now that I've failed so many courses, my University G.P.A. is currently 1.7. Why is this happening to me of all people?

In retro spect, I could've passed Calculus One on my third attempt during the summer session if I had gone to the professors office hours. Why didn't I do that? I was well aware that this was my last shot! What was I thinking?

[Rishabh R]

@Husseinisdoingfine go to a therapist .

[hundreth]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

@Husseinisdoingfine You are taking university way too seriously. It's really not important as you tell yourself it is.

All this situation means is that you are not cut out for that kind of high academic work. That's okay. The problem here is that you keep trying to succeed in a field that you are not naturally well-suited for. You need to sit down, accept that, and find a new field that isn't heavy on math and hard science. That's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. You will be much happier once you switch careers. You are too attached to that one career field.

Do not kill yourself over this issue.

I switched my major from out of enginnering after years of study because I realized engineering was a bad fit for my personality. Imagine if I killed myself instead. That would be silly.

Throw away your rope right now.

You will never need it. Just sit down and accept the pain that engineering is now right for you. There's no shame in that. There are much better fields than engineering.

Throw away your rope.

Switching to a career that suits you better does not make you a loser, it makes you wise.

Happiness awaits you once you just accept that you don't need any of this engineering stuff or academics to be happy and successful. Academia is an illusion. Certainly not worth killing yourself over.

This is good advice. 

The universe did you a favor. Rejoice.

[Keryo Koffa]

3 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

Why do I suck so bad at learning, and make so many mistakes?

Because you're stressed out and exactly because you care so much.

Someone else would explore, play, learn, and let their mind wander in creativity, rewarding themselves over successes.

But you're stressed, anxious, obsessed, uncertain, incoherent, repeating, beating yourself up at every opportunity.

Of course, you're gonna have a hard time, your self-worth is down the sewer, and you're not taking care of yourself.

Imagine screaming at a kid 24/7 about having to pass the subtraction test to survive and not giving them room to breathe.

[Husseinisdoingfine]

 

[Princess Arabia]

13 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

What was I thinking?

That's the problem. Leo reached out to you with some solid advice and you respond by shouting back and reiterating you thought patterns once again. Do you really want helpful advice or to keep rebutting and sticking to your same frame of thinking. We're trying to help but you have to see that there's no solution when coming from the same state of mind that created the problem. 

Edited September 6 by Princess Arabia

[Leo Gura]

58 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

Yeah, but you were probably able to pass the classes, even if you realized engineering was not right for you. My issues is that I'm not even able to pass CALCULUS ONE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Why am I so below average? Less than a thousand SAT score, 2.6 community college G.P.A., and now that I've failed so many courses, my University G.P.A. is currently 1.7. Why is this happening to me of all people?

In retro spect, I could've passed Calculus One on my third attempt during the summer session if I had gone to the professors office hours. Why didn't I do that? I was well aware that this was my last shot! What was I thinking?

But it doesn't matter whether I could pass or not. There are many things I cannot do and should not do. You're not getting the key lesson here. The lesson is: life is all about finding your niche, fitted to your strengths. It doesn't matter what your strengths are.

You are playing to your weaknesses. It's been obvious to me for over a year now that engineering is not your strength. The solution is simply to stop doing it! That's it. Stop doing the things you will never be great at. But you keep insisting on doing math and torturing yourself.

Go do what you are good at and enjoy. It's that simple. You need to look outside academia. Academia is not for you.

Quit academia and start a real life. That's your answer. You instantly feel better.

Edited September 6 by Leo Gura

[Princess Arabia]

18 minutes ago, Keryo Koffa said:

Agree to disagree. It's irresponsible not to do psychedelics.

It's irresponsible to recommend it to someone with obvious mental issues and not recommending proper screening first.

[AION]

It is apparent that this card house (paradigm of being engineer) is going to crash sooner or later.  The thing is you can resist and delay it or just let it tumble down and build something on solid foundations. If you resist you will waste time and energy and when things crumble you will be so devastated that you won’t have the mentality to build something new because you will be overwhelmed by your paradigm being shattered. Being able to shift from paradigms is crucial. But some people will just be beaten out of old paradigms and into new paradigms. God is all merciful and merciless depending on the person. Hard headedness which Arab cultured people have is usually problematic and can cause a lot of suffering. I know an Arab engineering friend who is in the same boat. He is open for advice but is not following any advice. 

Edited September 6 by AION

[Rishabh R]

@AION yeah absolutely even tough I am myself a biotech engineer.😂

[LambdaDelta]

In all honesty, your plan was poorly made to begin with. It should have been apparent since high school that you do not have an aptitude for mathematics and such, so why go to Physics? A dream job sure sounds nice, but it's an idea in your head, the reality may differ significantly. For a brief period my dream job was to become an accountant, then first semester of college after a few classes I realized how immensely boring it actually is, nothing like the picture I envisioned. The fact that you're now going to remain a loser after failing the degree is also something your mind has constructed. Are you a prophet? The future is fluid, and can change a lot in unexpected ways. Maybe when (IF) you're 35 and working at McDonald's barely able to afford rent in some shithole, revisit the suicide route. But right now your situation is not a dead end at all, in fact it's likely going to feel liberating once the initial depression wave passes. Hold tight and try ro recontextualize it into a positive. Few other things, there's no need to beat yourself up for repeating the same mistakes, in fact that's the best way to deeply learn a lesson for many people, you step into the same pile of shit over and over, and finally decide enough is enough, that determination will be so strong it'll hold for life. Also, practically speaking, an average sociologist has better employability prospects than an average physicist. You'd have to really excel to achieve the prestige you wanted, so simply passing a class wouldn't have made a difference in the end.

[AION]

Just now, Rishabh R said:

@AION yeah absolutely even tough I am myself a biotech engineer.😂

What do you mean?

[Rishabh R]

@AION I mean that the market of engineering and dand of engineering jobs is slowly going down due to advancement of AI. It could also be a bad news for me but even tough I am studying biotechnology engineering, I don't want to be an engineer but a biotechnologist.

[AION]

1 minute ago, Rishabh R said:

@AION I mean that the market of engineering and dand of engineering jobs is slowly going down due to advancement of AI. It could also be a bad news for me but even tough I am studying biotechnology engineering, I don't want to be an engineer but a biotechnologist.

AI can be your enemy or ally. It is up to you. 

[Rishabh R]

@AION  yeah absolutely but it's advancement can be somewhat detrimental as there is tradeoff between technological innovation and sustainability.

[Keryo Koffa]

22 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

It's irresponsible to recommend it to someone with obvious mental issues and not recommending proper screening first.

It's irresponsible to expect them to go through all that when there's endless reasons why they haven't already.

And dismissing the obvious solutions that already saved the lives of millions more profoundly than any of that.

[Princess Arabia]

10 minutes ago, Keryo Koffa said:

And dismissing the obvious solutions that already saved the lives of millions more profoundly than any of that.

I understand, but don't dismiss the ones that got fucked up mentally because they weren't ready. The End. ❤️

[Paradoxed]

I would take a step back from both options and really assess what you can imagine yourself doing, then see what degree you'd want in order to facilitate that. This "If I can't become an engineer I'm going to kill myself" thing doesn't make any sense. If it was right for you, you would be able to pass that class, especially if you took it 3 times. And it doesn't get easier after passing calculus I I'm sure.

After 10 years of having a pretty successful career, I decided to ditch it and go to school to become a medical laboratory technologist. It's a two year program. I see myself working in labs, I find that environment interesting, so I worked backwards from that. "What would I need to make that happen?" was a question I asked myself. I can see building a bigger career after getting some lab experience and finishing out a BS if I choose to. But I'm not putting extra pressure on myself.

You need to stop freaking out and just take a second to figure out what life wants for you. You will change your path in life many times. When you think about your path and it gives you anxiety and you feel like a failure it's probably because you are forcing something or lying to yourself. When things don't seem stressful and you are not forcing that's probably a good sign.

Also, just because you can't pass a class doesn't mean you will never understand high level math/science, you can study on your own and prove to yourself you can learn it. Sometimes the rigid fast paced schedule of school is what does your head in. So there is no need to feel like such a failure.

Please don't kill yourself.

Edited September 6 by Paradoxed

[Husseinisdoingfine]

@Leo Gura My former major was in Physics, not Engineering. 

BTW I was able to get a B in Physics I, its Calculus and Mathematics I have a problem with. 

But I feel as if only I had done [blank] I would have passed. I can't seem to do the bare minimum to succeed. I don't pay attention in class, and I use ChatGPT to study, which turned out to be a mistake. If I had visited the professor's Office hours, and the supplemental instruction centers, during the summer session, then I would not be in this situation.