Women are my only and only distraction from Enlightment

[bambi]

3 minutes ago, Emerald said:

First off, much of this will sound way out there... because these are what my medicine journeys have shown me. And I have adopted many of these insights into how I approach my life, as they have helped me get on track with what I really want to experience.

I just wanted to preface it before I answer.

1. Enlightenment isn't a denial as there is no one there to deny anything. It is simply a total dispossession of the illusion of the story that you are currently living to the point were there is nothing but pure consciousness. It is where reality (including yourself) blows away like dust in the wind and empty consciousness itself remains. But human attachments can be an impediment to a human being relinquishing the illusion of life and reality. This is why it can be more difficult to wake up as a householder because there is more to be attached to.

2. Yes, ego dissolution is death itself, just not death from a bodily perspective. It's a death from the perspective of consciousness. The way I would describe it is that it's like a drop of water getting sublimated into the ocean... only that ocean is pure nothingness and pure consciousness.

3. Yes, that's correct. I was shown in my medicine journey that the reason why God decided to split off an element of its consciousness to incarnate into the illusory finite form Emerald is because this element of its consciousness did not want to be open and accepting of infinite suffering. And to be reintegrated with God, there must be a total willingness to create, know, experience, and love all things in existence... including all suffering. And it was too much for this point of God's consciousness, so out of mercy to itself, God cut away this part of itself and incarnated it into a finite form where there is a finite amount of suffering to experience. And it was through the contraction and limitation that there was mercy.

4. Yes, it showed me that Emerald was the illusion/story that was woven for this purpose. And the preference at this point, seems to be to live infinite lifetimes as this character in order to avoid the awareness of infinite suffering and infinite knowledge. It also in other journeys showed me many permutations of Emerald lives, as this is where God's suffering part goes to get a vacation from the infinite. And it even reassured me in my last journey that I took that I could choose to live as many lives as Emerald as I wanted to. And it has shown me how valuable the function of my life is as it is only in the finite and imperfection that consciousness can experience meaning and beauty. And it showed me that, if I have a choice between being God and being Emerald, that it is wiser for me to handicap myself into smallness and limitation and choose Emerald.

Yes still hard to follow. But why would you not chose God, and how can you trust that your mind isnt lieing to you? Alot of your message presuppose lies are better than truth for you

Edited September 7 by bambi

[Davino]

1 minute ago, AION said:

Not wanting truth is truth too

No, it's shooting yourself in the foot.

It's self deception. 

[bambi]

5 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I've orgasmed from cunnilingus before but never with a client.

Got it. Lots of men are into rimming too, which is pretty vile if you think about it. Oral in itself is kinda disgusting. I wonder how much porn has contirbuted here

[Javfly33]

39 minutes ago, Emerald said:

There definitely is such a thing as spiritual bypassing. 

And I'm 100% sure that Sadhguru would agree with me on this as he has his tales about Shankaran Pilai that he tells which is all about the foolishness of a spiritual bypasser.

Just keep in mind that moving towards transcendence is VERY different from a resistance to the Earthly.

Remember, that which you resist persists. And you cannot transcend what you have an aversion to.... as you will be like Briar Rabbit fighting with the tar baby.

You start to becoming really tiring. Literally my OP is about that. That I can not transcend therefore I have to get my hands dirty in the 'illusion'.

Not sure what problem you have with me but maybe stop trying to downplay me as like 'I am not a real enlightment seeker'. You are? 

Quote

Just keep in mind that moving towards transcendence is VERY different from a resistance to the Earthly.

Oh, thank you Mr Enlightened Guru!! You are the one that knows. of course.

You are the 'real one' enlighment seeker. The one that does 'medicine journeys' 😂  incredible 

 

Do me a favour and don´t reply more to my posts 💙 Thank you. You are not helping by trying to feel superior to me. I exactly know what you are doing and I see you from 500 miles away. 

Edited September 7 by Javfly33

[Nemra]

6 minutes ago, Davino said:

No, it's shooting yourself in the foot.

It's self deception. 

He meant that if you discover some truth that you can't bear, then that is truth.

[Emerald]

Just now, bambi said:

Yes still hard to follow. But why would you not chose God, and how can you trust that your mind isnt lieing to you?

There is no guarantee that my mind isn't lying to me. In fact, everything that I've every assumed about reality could be totally untrue. Such is the nature of a human being's epistemological blindspot.

We cannot know the objective truth.

No matter how many times I've woken up to my nature as God, I will always be limited and unaware of what I'm unaware of as long as I am Emerald.

In fact, in my last Ayahuasca experience, I kept affirming "I am choosing to be limited" as I was cutting myself off from the infinite knowledge as God was showing me the burdens of the infinite on the shoulders of the finite.

That is what it means to embrace one's humanity. It means accepting the handicaps and limitations of your ability to know and exercising faith, which has always been difficult for me as my issues have always been about lacking trust in what is outside of myself.

As a human being, we can NEVER know anything beyond a shadow of a doubt. And I've tried and tried and spun my wheels in daily constant contemplation since early childhood.

And that's I cannot know what's true and what's illusion whether I'm deciding to seek enlightenment or choosing to surrender to my humanity.

I could always be dead wrong. And I've gone around and around in this contemplating over the years.

But I am choosing to exercise faith in my experiences of God and my experiences in general despite and because of my limitations. And I have decided to trust that my realizations of God are real... and to trust what it has shown me and to use it as a navigational tool.

And along with this, I am choosing to surrender to and trust my own internal compass.

But of course, everything I've ever experienced and known could be and likely is an illusion. But that is not for me to know.

[Emerald]

7 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

You start to becoming really tiring. Literally my OP is about that. That I can not transcend therefore I have to get my hands dirty in the 'illusion'.

Not sure what problem you have with me but maybe stop trying to downplay me as like 'I am not a real enlightment seeker'. You are? 

Oh, thank you Mr Enlightened Guru!! You are the one that knows. of course.

You are the 'real one' enlighment seeker. The one that does 'medicine journeys' 😂  incredible 

Do me a favour and don´t reply more to my posts 💙 Thank you. You are not helping by trying to feel superior to me. I exactly know what you are doing and I see you from 500 miles away. 

I'm not picking on you. I'm just telling you something that might help you as it is something I've seen before.

Perhaps my tone doesn't carry well over the internet.

But if you don't want me to reply anymore, that is okay.

[Davino]

17 minutes ago, Nemra said:

He meant that if you discover some truth that you can't bear, then that is truth.

Then you don't love Truth 

You love the truth that you can bear 

Edited September 7 by Davino

[Leo Gura]

40 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Do you really want truth?

I am Truth.

[Emerald]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

I am Truth.

As are all those savages you mentioned before, that don't want Truth.

What makes you different?

[theleelajoker]

This discussion has taken a strange turn IMO - towards sex, enlightenment, truth, etc. Which is not "good" or "bad" itself, but a) it seems to turn in circles b) does not seem constructive for me

• Re the OP - if you see women as distraction, so it be. For me, it's quite the opposite - there is nobody who supports me more in my development than my current partner.
• Can women be a distraction? Yeah, but my toaster can be one, too. It's me, and not the toaster's fault. How you do things (e.g. dating)  > what you do
• Yeah, maybe be ego is tricking me etc etc - but maybe not. I take my chances
• @Emerald In my perspective, you make some very good points and for me it's easy to follow your arguments. Appreciate your perspective and I can't understand the reactions of some people here

Edited September 7 by theleelajoker

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, theleelajoker said:

@Emerald In my perspective, you make some very good points and for me it's easy to follow your arguments. Appreciate your perspective and I can't understand the reactions of some people here

Thank you.

I think it's just that the OP's pain is associated with concerns that women may enjoy dominating men and embarrassing them, as he has written about it on other posts.

And because I am speaking over the internet, this doesn't give him a chance to read my actual facial expressions. And he might imagine me as a wicked witch trying to antagonize him for my own sadistic pleasure, when in reality, this is just how I show up in this context.

I come here to share my perspective with others who value these types of perspectives, and I do like to challenge others a bit as well because the environment is very conducive to intellectual sparring.

I think I just accidentally pushed a trigger button with my directness.

[Forestluv]

59 minutes ago, Emerald said:

my medicine journeys

Were these in recent years? There seems to be an evolution relative to your posts a couple years ago.

[Leo Gura]

21 minutes ago, Emerald said:

As are all those savages you mentioned before, that don't want Truth.

What makes you different?

The only difference is I know it

[Emerald]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

The only difference is I know it

I'm suspicious of this answer. 

[Emerald]

5 minutes ago, Forestluv said:

Were these in recent years? There seems to be an evolution relative to your posts a couple years ago.

I've had one journey per year since 2020. So, 5 journeys in the past few years... and 2 journeys at age 20.

[LambdaDelta]

2 hours ago, Davino said:

If it works for you and is sustainable over time

Quite well so far. Guess I'm like that monk Leo mentioned 

[Ajax]

5 hours ago, Emerald said:

 

We cannot know the objective truth.

No matter how many times I've woken up to my nature as God, I will always be limited and unaware of what I'm unaware of as long as I am Emerald.

In fact, in my last Ayahuasca experience, I kept affirming "I am choosing to be limited" as I was cutting myself off from the infinite knowledge as God was showing me the burdens of the infinite on the shoulders of the finite.

That is what it means to embrace one's humanity. It means accepting the handicaps and limitations of your ability to know and exercising faith, which has always been difficult for me as my issues have always been about lacking trust in what is outside of myself.

As a human being, we can NEVER know anything beyond a shadow of a doubt. And I've tried and tried and spun my wheels in daily constant contemplation since early childhood.

And that's I cannot know what's true and what's illusion whether I'm deciding to seek enlightenment or choosing to surrender to my humanity.

I could always be dead wrong. And I've gone around and around in this contemplating over the years.

But I am choosing to exercise faith in my experiences of God and my experiences in general despite and because of my limitations. And I have decided to trust that my realizations of God are real... and to trust what it has shown me and to use it as a navigational tool.

And along with this, I am choosing to surrender to and trust my own internal compass.

But of course, everything I've ever experienced and known could be and likely is an illusion. But that is not for me to know.

Nonsense... You were simply unwilling to confront. Confront can be defined as what you put there, that stretches time ( motion and change of particles and the reaction pulled in by an action) and results in existence you can(amount you are willing to...) face.

That is a very technical definition so here is a more simple one, which is more useful and workable. Confront is the ability to fully and comfortably face without having to flinch, avoid, react or do anything but be there...

Another way of saying it is being in a location without having to do anything but be there. Truth is an abscence of all falseness... So to confront is to "Be without" "then you can truly communicate (again... Truth is an abscence of... Which is duplicating another idea WITHOUT interference)

So your post reveals that you confronted to a limited degree, but you didn't fully confront... And then foolishly concluded that you can't confront or know.

You have massive resistance... As you admitted. Definition of resistance? "Holding close in an effort to avoid what you consider you are not willing to experience, what you consider you don't like, what you consider you are not willing to admire. Resistance is an effort to confront by force(a thinkingness). (Truth and force don't mix... When you try to force it, it changes it's appearance not itself basic characteristics.) The result is a forced confront which is resistance.

Anything that increases your willingness to experience,to like or admire increases confront.

Here are some indicators of resistance:

Randomities - anything that happens not under the control of you... Assigning source to anyone,anything but you.. this includes shame, blame and regret.

Confusions- anytime you have a situation where you don't have an immediate solution for something. You don't you... You claim we can't know, but we can create solution use them and know the work... Part of the game of life is to solve problems and if you are confused, you have something to solve or a problem, just because someone considers one can't know, doesn't mean the are unable to know a great amount of things they assume they can't.

Justifications- anytime you open mouth to explain anything... Explaining away the most obvious wrongness... Humans number one fear is to fully confront they were wrong... They will say... "Oh, I didn't know" "or it was an accident, or I didn't mean to.. "  or say... I am wrong... But...." "It only happened because.... Or some other denial or excuse to explain or cover up being wrong.

Excuses- giving "reasons" instead of knowing... People insist on having a reason for something... And it is almost always wrong... If you don't know the exact reason which solves the problem and gives the solution it's a false reason, this an excuse.

Traps- Everytime things happen to you, that you do not realize it is going to happen to you...( Often  manifestations of the above)

Insanities- every time you look for knowingness through looking at the past...( Oh, this will spark something in a lot of people).

Fear is a state of imperception and unwillingness to look, know, confront, perceive, communicate... and yes you have a massive degree of fears, doubts and resistance that you are holding on for dear life....

It's not that no one wants to know truth... They simply have too many things they are unwilling to let go of...

PS - emerald I dont usually bother to comment on posts, as I generally allow others to believe as they choose but I  like and respect you, I hope this isn't too harsh.

 

 

And to get back of topic, that's the issue... You can say it's money, women, or your dream car... Those are just "reasons" and if you actually knew the reason you would not have a problem but know the solution instantly...

Truth is an abscence of.... The more your viewpoint has an abscence of unwanted problems and effects, the more truth you will know.

LOVE

Edited September 8 by Ajax

[RendHeaven]

23 hours ago, Lila9 said:

To conclude:
Men are annoying because of the way they view us. Patriarchy is trash. Misogyny is sickness.

Bye. 

Ah, classic Lila9

[Emerald]

24 minutes ago, Ajax said:

Nonsense... You were simply unwilling to confront. Confront can be defined as what you put there, that stretches time ( motion and change of particles and the reaction pulled in by an action) and results in existence you can(amount you are willing to...) face.

That is a very technical definition so here is a more simple one, which is more useful and workable. Confront is the ability to fully and comfortably face without having to flinch, avoid, react or do anything but be there...

Another way of saying it is being in a location without having to do anything but be there. Truth is an abscence of all falseness... So to confront is to "Be without" "then you can truly communicate (again... Truth is an abscence of... Which is duplicating another idea WITHOUT interference)

So your post reveals that you confronted to a limited degree, but you didn't fully confront... And then foolishly concluded that you can't confront or know.

You have massive resistance... As you admitted. Definition of resistance? "Holding close in an effort to avoid what you consider you are not willing to experience, what you consider you don't like, what you consider you are not willing to admire. Resistance is an effort to confront by force(a thinkingness). (Truth and force don't mix... When you try to force it, it changes it's appearance not itself basic characteristics.) The result is a forced confront which is resistance.

Anything that increases your willingness to experience,to like or admire increases confront.

Here are some indicators of resistance:

Randomities - anything that happens not under the control of you... Assigning source to anyone,anything but you.. this includes shame, blame and regret.

Confusions- anytime you have a situation where you don't have an immediate solution for something. You don't you... You claim we can't know, but we can create solution use them and know the work... Part of the game of life is to solve problems and if you are confused, you have something to solve or a problem, just because someone considers one can't know, doesn't mean the are unable to know a great amount of things they assume they can't.

Justifications- anytime you open mouth to explain anything... Explaining away the most obvious wrongness... Humans number one fear is to fully confront they were wrong... They will say... "Oh, I didn't know" "or it was an accident, or I didn't mean to.. "  or say... I am wrong... But...." "It only happened because.... Or some other denial or excuse to explain or cover up being wrong.

Excuses- giving "reasons" instead of knowing... People insist on having a reason for something... And it is almost always wrong... If you don't know the exact reason which solves the problem and gives the solution it's a false reason, this an excuse.

Traps- Everytime things happen to you, that you do not realize it is going to happen to you...( Often  manifestations of the above)

Insanities- every time you look for knowingness through looking at the past...( Oh, this will spark something in a lot of people).

Fear is a state of imperception and unwillingness to look, know, confront, perceive, communicate... and yes you have a massive degree of fears, doubts and resistance that you are holding on for dear life....

It's not that no one wants to know truth... They simply have too many things they are unwilling to let go of...

PS - emerald I dont usually bother to comment on posts, as I generally allow others to believe as they choose but I  like and respect you, I hope this isn't too harsh.

And to get back of topic, that's the issue... You can say it's money, women, or your dream car... Those are just "reasons" and if you actually knew the reason you would not have a problem but know the solution instantly...

Truth is an abscence of.... The more your viewpoint has an abscence of unwanted problems and effects, the more truth you will know.

LOVE

From the perspective of those on this forum or people who see seeking enlightenment as the one true path, I'm sure that my decision to surrender to and embrace my human limitations and to live the story will seem resistant and deluded.

But J have been shown that enlightenment isn't the only game that God plays with itself. And I choose to exercise faith in these experiences and their feeling of rightness over what some people in the world of Maya believe about enlightenment and truth. 

What it showed me is that it is just as happy to be a Buddha as it is happy to be a sea urchin. And any incarnation comes with limits and handicaps. And it is through these limits and handicaps that meaning and beauty are possible.

It is only because a story has a beginning and an end that you can have happiness and joy. And it is only in separation that relationship is possible.

And my path is a feminine path of embracing limitation and contraction rather than the masculine path of expansion. Though my experiences of expansion and awakening have served to enrich my Earthly experience, transcendence is not actually what I want. I came here to play the game and live the story.

So, if you lay out the option to be Emerald or to be God, I'm definitely going to pick Emerald every time as it is as clear to me as it is possible for a human to have clarity that this is the function of this lifetime.

To give some context as to why this is integral to my path, I have dealt since I was very small with a God complex that originally stemmed from a lack of trust and feelings of unsafety. And it's come from a traumatized 3 year old aspect of myself. And at that age, it isn't so clear that you aren't the center of the universe. So, I have this part of my that feels it must be perfect and do all the scary things alone.

And it has created this lonely anxious God dynamic that hums underneath all of my experiences. 

And it has given me this life-long burden of feeling like I have to know perfectly but also paired with a genuine curiosity that's pretty insatiable. And it has led me to constant expansion into more and more insights. 

But because I cannot know Truth in the absolute, it has left me ever expanding and expanding and expanding and spreading myself thin trying to know. This is even true, having gone through ego dissolution and many awakenings. You can be it, but you cannot know it.

And in my journeys, I have experienced infinite knowledge twice... and it is completely overwhelming. It showed this to me to help me remember that my path doesn't have to do with expansion of knowledge but rather to do with contraction of knowledge.

And I can tell you, infinite knowing is a real crown of thorns. And I'm not Christian, but God had shared with me that it is only the Christ that had to bear the burdens of the infinite as a finite being and that I don't have to do it because no one has to do that anymore. And that's a good thing too, because it is like hell in ways that I struggle to communicate and understand.

And it has even taught me how to wear the crown and then pass the crown and appreciate other people more, and to disappear into being a side character in the story to diffuse the weight of the crown. And it was such a joy to conceptualize of myself as a background extra in the story of someone else's life.

So, as God it has picked Emerald to incarnate this overwhelmed part of itself into to relieve that part from the burdens of the infinite. But Emerald can't help herself and keeps going back into knowledge expansion mode and sneaking back into the cookie jar of knowledge. So, there is a learning curve to contraction and the letting go of the need to know.

But in my Ayahuasca experiences, God has worked with me to heal my knowledge-seeking obsession and show me the value of embracing ordinariness, limitations, and contraction and to be able to surrender and to exercise faith in lieu of knowledge... which is what my neuroses have disallowed me from. And this constant truth-seeking has put a cap on my ability to show up in life fully as myself as it is like I am always in protection mode.

So, over the past couple of years my path has been about embracing the path of contraction and limitation... and grounding deeply into the human experience and allowing myself to be ordinary and imperfect.

And a huge part of that has been about recognizing and accepting the limits to my ability to know... whilst also exercising faith in my own experiences of God consciousness and exercising faith in my own inner compass of my intuitions and insights.

And a big learning curve is in being able to put trust and faith in my own subjective experiences and perspectives, despite recognizing that they are limited and that I cannot know and do not know the absolute objective truth and never will.

I know that my path doesn't fit your idea of a spiritual path, and you may see it as deluded.

But keep in mind that both truth and illusion are part of the Truth.

And both expansion and contraction are part of Expansion.

And both the finite and the infinite are part of the Infinite.

There is not two... but one. And the contraction path is just the other side of the coin to the expansion path. And it is clear to me that I open up and expand when I allow myself contract... and contract when I try to expand.