Women are my only and only distraction from Enlightment

[Javfly33]

@Brittany Ok, fair enough.

I think I have complete clarity now. I am officially stopping seeking for life. I´ll just stick to 15 minute sadhana in the morning and just live life.

Clearly if while Im alive I can not Realize (Total Enlighment), death will do it for me when time comes.

[LambdaDelta]

On 9/6/2024 at 2:16 AM, Nemra said:

That's why you have to keep it a secret forever, unless you can find the perfect moment. To be honest, I prefer not to tell anyone, even if they won't be able to handle it. It's liberating, and I can focus on thinking.

I agree, also sometimes keeping the truth hidden is the most loving course, but on the other hand getting it out of the way once, even if painful, is more freeing. 

 

9 hours ago, Davino said:

Yes, it seems to be a personal preference. I'm a very solitary individual but I seem to prefer sharing my life with a femenine energy.

All other human interactions are optional for me, but having a wife... I kinda wanna have that in my life. It's the perfect equilibrium for me.

I satisfy my human needs with one profound intimate relationship and that's all. Otherwise fully alone wouldn't be the perfect fit and going social mode would be horrible for me. So having a wife, a home and some pets is a fulfilling life in my case.

You gotta find that for you.

I see, thanks for sharing. For me I believe discovering solipsism has been the final nail on the coffin of romantic relationships. I'd really like to discover an actual reason for those kinds of innate biases, or why for instance wasn't I born an animal or alien. In other words, see the process which infinite intelligence used to determined all that. Of course trouble is once you're in the appropriate state, such trivial questions seize to hold any meaning nor enter your mind.

9 hours ago, Davino said:

You can't swap parents unluckily

No need for that, it ain't unlucky, they're exactly how I imagined them 

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, Brittany said:

"Going to a cabin in the mountains" used to be something that only a select few did. It was never a recommendation for the general masses. 

Very few people are called to the path of a monk.

Because of the internet, so many people who don't have the calling of monkhood, are trying to force it upon themselves. 

 

This idea that people who are married/in love/have partners and/or have kids are less conscious and can't become enlightened.....no longer works anymore.

It used to work in the past when most of the ancient spiritual teachers lived celibate lives. But it no longer applies.

Look at people like Eckhart Tolle...he is married.

Adyashanti is married

Rupert Spira  is married and has a child

Matt Kahn is married

Anna Brown is a mother of 2 kids. And almost every neo-advaita teacher I can think of is married and/or has kids like Andreas Muller, Tony Parsons, Kenneth Madden, Tim Cliss, etc.

Kyle Cease is a father

Aaron Abke is married and has a child (though he has been acting problematic lately with his political stuff)

Michael Singer is married and has kids

Byron Katie is married and has kids

Ken Wilber was married

Alan Watts was married and had kids

Sadguru was married and has a child

Ram Dass has a son

Amoda Maa is married

Louise Kay, Lisa Cairns and many other spiritual teachers are in long-term romantic dating partnerships.

We gotta stop this "Married/Partnered people with kids are unconscious, are run by their egos and can't get enlightened" myth.

We have too many examples of conscious parents and conscious married/partnered people, for this excuse to work anymore.

Yeah, but were they married/kids before or after their enlightenments?

[Emerald]

12 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

 

Sure, that makes sense, but everytime people say that thing about love/Accept Yourself unconditionally i dont understand what thats supposed to mean. How you do that? Where is the button exactly?

The trick to understanding how to love yourself is simply to recognize that you already are unconditionally loving yourself and trying ALWAYS to serve your best interests.

But we can do this is ways that backfire.

For example, I could engage in TONS of self-criticism because I believe that the self-criticism protects me from being rejected by others.

So, in this case I am trying to protect myself from rejection because I love myself. But it is backfiring and creating worse outcomes.

So you CANNOT stop loving yourself, even if you tried as unconditional love is truly unconditional.

But the trick is to see the way you're trying to serve yourself by engaging in these "unloving" behaviors and then find other more beneficial means to meet your needs.

But the first thing you MUST do is to begin finding the positive expressions of the qualities you consider to be negative about yourself... and to celebrate those parts of yourself. 

You must learn to like yourself as you are, instead of trying to "fix" yourself or become someone else... precisely because trying to change/fix yourself is a backfiring strategy for loving yourself.

[Buck Edwards]

3 hours ago, Brittany said:

"Going to a cabin in the mountains" used to be something that only a select few did. It was never a recommendation for the general masses. 

Very few people are called to the path of a monk.

Because of the internet, so many people who don't have the calling of monkhood, are trying to force it upon themselves. 

 

This idea that people who are married/in love/have partners and/or have kids are less conscious and can't become enlightened.....no longer works anymore.

It used to work in the past when most of the ancient spiritual teachers lived celibate lives. But it no longer applies.

Look at people like Eckhart Tolle...he is married.

Adyashanti is married

Rupert Spira  is married and has a child

Matt Kahn is married

Anna Brown is a mother of 2 kids. And almost every neo-advaita teacher I can think of is married and/or has kids like Andreas Muller, Tony Parsons, Kenneth Madden, Tim Cliss, etc.

Kyle Cease is a father

Aaron Abke is married and has a child (though he has been acting problematic lately with his political stuff)

Michael Singer is married and has kids

Byron Katie is married and has kids

Ken Wilber was married

Alan Watts was married and had kids

Sadguru was married and has a child

Ram Dass has a son

Amoda Maa is married

Louise Kay, Lisa Cairns and many other spiritual teachers are in long-term romantic dating partnerships.

We gotta stop this "Married/Partnered people with kids are unconscious, are run by their egos and can't get enlightened" myth.

We have too many examples of conscious parents and conscious married/partnered people, for this excuse to work anymore.

Totally agree with this. It's such a brainwash to consider married people as incapable of enlightenment. 

[Buck Edwards]

Sadhguru was married before his enlightenment. Like bruh.. 

I can't believe this is western society. 

Edited September 7 by Buck Edwards

[Emerald]

12 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

@Emerald sadhguru doesn't agree with the "Love Yourself" thing though

 

Sadhguru and I are in agreement here. You are love itself. This is why unconditional love is unconditional.

And you couldn't stop loving yourself if you tried... because love is your nature.

You simply must recognize that the ways you're trying to serve your own best interests are backfiring, and then reorient them in a way that actually serves your best interest.

[Princess Arabia]

5 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Aaron Abke is married and has a child (though he has been acting problematic lately with his political stuff)

Yeah, when one starts to get established both in work and private life as in marriage and kids and when they start to acquire material things in their Spiritual quests, politics gets interesting out of fear. Fear, fear of loss. Now it's a different ballgame and seeing themselves through a different lens. Now they have material things to protect and politics matters at this point.

[Leo Gura]

If you don't think sex distracts men from awakening you are living in crazytown.

I read about a European monk who was born and lived 80 years in a monastary and never once in his life saw a woman.

Meanwhile we got dudes jerking off to AI porn every 45 minutes.

Edited September 7 by Leo Gura

[Princess Arabia]

4 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Sadhguru and I are in agreement here. You are love itself. This is why unconditional love is unconditional.

And you couldn't stop loving yourself if you tried... because love is your nature.

You simply must recognize that the ways you're trying to serve your own best interests are backfiring, and then reorient them in a way that actually serves your best interest.

Gave me something to think about today, a new perspective. Makes sense. It's like seeking, which implies something is lost. Or fixing the self, which implies something is wrong with God since God is the self.

Edited September 7 by Princess Arabia

[Buck Edwards]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

If you don't think sex distracts men from awakening you are living in crazytown.

I read about a European monk who was born and lived 80 years in a monastary and never once in his life saw a woman.

Why should that be considered awakening. Then someone living in a mental asylum should also be considered awakened by your metric! 

[Davino]

18 minutes ago, LambdaDelta said:

For me I believe discovering solipsism has been the final nail on the coffin of romantic relationships. I'd really like to discover an actual reason for those kinds of innate biases, or why for instance wasn't I born an animal or alien. In other words, see the process which infinite intelligence used to determined all that. Of course trouble is once you're in the appropriate state, such trivial questions seize to hold any meaning nor enter your mind.

You haven't discovered Solipsistic sex yet?

Connection in my romantic relationship has skyrocketed after Solipsism. Looking at her eyes is such a profound experience now, no condom, no separation, Pure Connection, One. Moreover, my girl helped me keep my sanity through my multi day Solipsistic Awakening.

 

 

Also consider that the ultimate Why for all that is

It's because it is so

From this, all happens

[Princess Arabia]

8 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

If you don't think sex distracts men from awakening you are living in crazytown.

I read about a European monk who was born and lived 80 years in a monastary and never once in his life saw a woman.

Why do assume that it's just men that love sex. In my experience, men crave intimacy, even sometimes more so than women, they just use sex as a quick fix. Just as a side note, it's most single men that crave sex, men who aren't in relationships. Most married men or men in long-term relationships aren't craving sex as much as they just crave a woman's touch or even just her company. Not saying they don't love sex, want or need it, but it doesn't become a craving anymore and I'm speaking about intercourse itself.

Notice how sexual cravings go down in your life when you have a gf vs when you're single, and be honest. Maybe not for sex addicts, but for regular men without this issue.

Edited September 7 by Princess Arabia

[Leo Gura]

12 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Why do assume that it's just men that love sex.

It's not just men, but men's sex drive is way beyond what women can imagine or understand.

Which is why women get upset at men for treating them as sexual objects.

If women had the sex drive of men you would treat men like sexual objects too. Women underestimate man's sex drive because they judge it using their own.

Men need that higher sex drive in order to do the work it takes to hunt for women.

Quote

Most married men or men in long-term relationships aren't craving sex as much as they just crave a woman's touch or even just her company.

A highly suspect claim.

Edited September 7 by Leo Gura

[Buck Edwards]

@Leo Gura you should first be able to define what awakening is and nobody knows that. So all these assumptions and judgements are pointless. 

[Leo Gura]

1 minute ago, Buck Edwards said:

@Leo Gura you should first be able to define what awakening is and nobody knows that. So all these assumptions and judgements are pointless. 

It could not be more simple and clear:

Awakening is consciousness that you are God.

[Buck Edwards]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

It could not be more simple and clear:

Awakening is consciousness that you are God.

And why can't such consciousness exist if you are married and have kids? 

[Leo Gura]

1 minute ago, Buck Edwards said:

And why can't such consciousness exist if you are married and have kids? 

I never said it couldn't.

[Buck Edwards]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

I never said it couldn't.

Good. 

[Breakingthewall]

The problem with relationships is that they are limiting because they are almost always going to be with someone who is limited, and that someone wants you to be limited. So in your life, in your reality, there is a limiting factor that reduces your sovereignty, and this is incompatible, or an hindrance ,with spiritual awakening. If you have a partner who is not limited or limits you at all, then there is no problem

Edited September 7 by Breakingthewall