Women are my only and only distraction from Enlightment

[Breakingthewall]

40 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

For example, my idea of maximum well being and 'honesty' with the way I am within is just doing my yoga in nature and becoming more and more balanced, still. But if I go that route, I can not attract women I like.

39 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

 

Maybe you should reconsider what do you like. 

[Keryo Koffa]

The masculine and feminine amplify each other in energy flow.
To be masculine, unapologetically radiate your femininity outward.
To be feminine, nurture the authentic creative masculinity within.

Transcend and include, compromise is a lie.
Divisions are artificial, people seek their lack.
Settle not, what you desire is greater than that.

[Emerald]

43 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

Initially I thought I need to detach from 'everything' because I see that I have to become 'someone' in order to attract women (at least the women I usually want/get attached to).

For example, my idea of maximum well being and 'honesty' with the way I am within is just doing my yoga in nature and becoming more and more balanced, still. But if I go that route, I can not attract women I like.

As an example, with last girl I was, I verified I had to pivotate to more crude, raw masculine energy in order to activate some kind of attraction from her, their feminine does not get pumped up for me when I tell her about having a dream of creating a yoga retreat in the mountains (she might find cute or cool), but if I behave like a daddy dom she instantly starts to get attracted. Suddenly 'I am a man'.

The problem is pivoting towards that crude raw masculinity prevents me from the balance and maximum well being, that kind of behaviour creates negative karma because it maximises duality, so in order to attract the women I want I need to betray my natural inclination towards balance of masculine/femenine and basically inner well being (and also creating karmic consequences, not only for me but for everyone else I stumbled upon while I behave like in that crude survival masculine vibration)

Because the joy of state of consciousness I touched doing that makes everything else seem as suffering and discomfort. 

Because in this retreats I see the more one runs away from the transactions and the 'dream', the more sweet life becomes. 

Because ive seen how it feels to transcend, and it feels better than being human. 

@Emerald I think before I was running from facing my challenges with relating with women. Now that I have seen I can not transcend, now im running towards awakening my masculinity and finally experiencing balance and healthy relationships with women. 

Maybe trascendence can come after that. 

What seems evident to me is that you have a feeling of not being good enough and a feeling of shame. And this translates into a feeling like you need to be something other than what you are to be attractive to a woman.

And because you're operating off of that sense of shame and 'not being good enough', you are trying to transcend your humanity to get relief from that feeling... and also (as an oppositional force to transcendence) trying to be what you believe women are always attracted to.

It is a struggle to fight against the powerlessness you feel in relation to women... as a result of your feelings of shame and projecting your feelings of 'not being enough' onto women.

But you cannot resolve the shame by becoming more transcendent... nor by becoming more masculine... nor by "fixing" or changing yourself in any way.

The only remedy is to love and accept yourself unconditionally... and it would be wise to begin by accepting your feminine side as this will rescind some of the projections onto women that give them an outsized feeling of power over you.

[Breakingthewall]

@Javfly33 if you ask for advice, I would say: forget the women, go for the spiritual 100%, then, when it's done, and that's not so far, go for the women and fuck them all. Or find your soul mate, or anything that it's your destiny 

[Leo Gura]

@Emerald @Princess Arabia Stop distracting us from enlightenment!

[Emerald]

54 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Emerald @Princess Arabia Stop distracting us from enlightenment!

We can't help it! We're just too enchanting.  

[Moutushi]

15 minutes ago, Emerald said:

We can't help it! We're just too enchanting.  

@Emerald interestingly enough, and I'm sure you likely already know this, but after reading the quality of a number of your posts, you come off as super duper intellectual, which many women are not from my personal experience with them. Insecure men often get turned off by that high quality of intellect in women, as it makes them feel insecure about themselves. You're enchanting to the select few men who find that quality in women enchanting (I happen to be one of them), as getting a taste of that intellect in the words you use arouses them, rather than make them feel put down. 

[Buck Edwards]

16 minutes ago, Moutushi said:

@Emerald interestingly enough, and I'm sure you likely already know this, but after reading the quality of a number of your posts, you come off as super duper intellectual, which many women are not from my personal experience with them. Insecure men often get turned off by that high quality of intellect in women, as it makes them feel insecure about themselves. You're enchanting to the select few men who find that quality in women enchanting (I happen to be one of them), as getting a taste of that intellect in the words you use arouses them, rather than make them feel put down. 

Women don't have to prove themselves to be validated and liked by men. Something deeply off about it. 

"but after reading the quality of a number of your posts," Lmao. Insecurity and the need to provide validation right there. 

Ooooooh. 

We have to be gentle. We have to be sweet. We have to be intellectual. We have to be nice to men. We have to make men agree with us. We have to defeat men in arguments. We have to look good. We have to be extra dextra feminine. Oh for men's validation. Because apparently we don't have any inherent worth it seems. 

Oh my lord, fuck that. 

 

Edited September 7 by Buck Edwards

[Moutushi]

26 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Women don't have to prove themselves to be validated and liked by men. Something deeply off about it. 

"but after reading the quality of a number of your posts," Lmao. Insecurity and the need to provide validation right there. 

 

This post I made was not so much about Emerald, women don't have to prove themselves to anyone. I was mainly hinting at how many insecure men I've seen get put down by women displaying confidence, intellectual prowess etc

*That insecurity is the man's shit to deal with and work on, it's not a women's role to make him feel secure. 

Edited September 7 by Moutushi

[Moutushi]

28 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Women don't have to prove themselves to be validated and liked by men. Something deeply off about it. 

"but after reading the quality of a number of your posts," Lmao. Insecurity and the need to provide validation right there. 

Ooooooh. 

We have to be gentle. We have to be sweet. We have to be intellectual. We have to be nice to men. We have to make men agree with us. We have to defeat men in arguments. We have to look good. We have to be extra dextra feminine. Oh for men's validation. Because apparently we don't have any inherent worth it seems. 

Oh my lord, fuck that. 

 

@Buck Edwards A confident woman merely unmasks an insecure man's insecurities. I agree, fuck that, it's not easy being a woman in a world often dominated by many insecure men who have those expectations from women. 

[Salvijus]

You can't sell your soul just because of one woman lol. I mean you can but... It's really weak. 

Edited September 7 by Salvijus

[Emerald]

18 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

The way he speaks to women on the forum is always as though he is undermining them. It's just facts. Even in jest, he comes across as undercutting women. Maybe he has some bit of red pill in him. I don't know. He has a long way to go in integrating the feminine and he does a poor job at it. He treats women like whie trash would. He is biased, after all he is human. 

The joke he made doesn't go over my boundaries personally, as it was more at the OP's expense than ours... and I've interact with him somewhat frequently on here over the past 8 years whenever I engage with this forum.

And I take it more as a mildly flirtatious wink and a nod about the comical angle of the OP's post being about attachment to women distracting him from enlightenment.

But I agree that he has some issues in the Feminine integration department (as do most men on this forum in varying degrees), and that comes out in a generally dismissive relationship with women and with Femininity in general. He seems to fear it and doesn't trust it, and I notice he has a generally protective stance against it.

It also shows up in less obvious ways in his orientation being more anti-feminine in an archetypal sense as well... with the focus towards transcendence, loftiness, intellect, abstraction, spirituality, etc.... and a sense of trying to get away from Earthly limitations.

Think of a tree... with branches being the masculine and roots being the feminine. And those who are resistant to the feminine put all the focus on the branches while resisting the roots.

And these 'branches over the roots' viewpoints are patriarchal viewpoints... but most don't recognize them as such because they don't have to do with human gender. But these mind over matter viewpoints are the actual root of misogyny.

And anyone who has strong 'Yang to the exclusion of Yin" viewpoints will believe overtly or subtly that women are both lesser than and greater than themselves simultaneously. And it creates this hatred/love obsession thing in varying degrees... mildly or overtly depending on how integrated the person is with the Feminine or isn't.

And all of those conflicting feelings about the Feminine principle end up being projected onto human women... which is annoying and sometimes painful to be on the receiving end of.

This is what is up with communities like Red Pill... but it isn't just limited to those communities. It impacts every single person, regardless of gender as it is the deep conditioning of the past few thousand years that we're only just now getting to the cusp between the old patriarchal era and the new integrated era.

So the collective resistance to the feminine, leads to a dynamic where it puts you up on a pedestal... then resents that you're up on a pedestal and then tries to drag you down off of it.

I used to have similar issues myself until I shifted my values to ones that are more integrated with Yin.

And before this integration, when men would be dismissive or demeaning towards me... it used to be really triggering because I agreed with them on subtle but pervasive levels that I didn't then consciously understand.

Before like 10 years ago, I always had polarly pro-masculine anti-feminine values (that I saw a gender neutral because of my lack of awareness of archetypes) that I picked up from he culture.

And this led me to believe at a deep semi-conscious level that I am inferior. And when men would act that way, it would hit that wound and bring me down into all these feelings of shame in being a woman and being a Feminine energy being in general.

But now, having worked through all of that quite a bit, when I see individual men (or women for that matter) struggling with misogyny in varying degrees and resistance to the Feminine it doesn't trigger my wounding anymore because I relate to the vulnerability in it. I just mostly see someone struggling against a significant part of themselves.

And what I eventually realized is that people who have a dismissive attitude towards women don't actually see the Feminine as powerless or negative, even if they act like they do. They just try to convince themselves of that because they feel powerless to the Feminine and are projecting that onto women and shadow boxing in an archetypal fight that doesn't involve human women much at all.

So as long as I'm not stuck in a context where I have to tolerate it, I'm happy to interact as long as it doesn't traverse my boundaries or encroach upon my personal power and autonomy.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Moutushi said:

@Emerald interestingly enough, and I'm sure you likely already know this, but after reading the quality of a number of your posts, you come off as super duper intellectual, which many women are not from my personal experience with them. Insecure men often get turned off by that high quality of intellect in women, as it makes them feel insecure about themselves. You're enchanting to the select few men who find that quality in women enchanting (I happen to be one of them), as getting a taste of that intellect in the words you use arouses them, rather than make them feel put down. 

From a friendship and relationship perspective, it has always helped me sort through to people that I'm compatible with.

What I've found is that you have to turn off 99% of people with your weirdness by letting your freak flag fly and being super authentic, so that the wrong ones weed themselves out.

And then, you end up surrounded only by people (friends and romantic partners) who really value you for who you are.

And by embracing your strange flavor... you become a beacon that attracts those who value you like moths to a flame.

[Moutushi]

6 minutes ago, Emerald said:

From a friendship and relationship perspective, it has always helped me sort through to people that I'm compatible with.

What I've found is that you have to turn off 99% of people with your weirdness by letting your freak flag fly and being super authentic, so that the wrong ones weed themselves out.

And then, you end up surrounded only by people (friends and romantic partners) who really value you for who you are.

And by embracing your strange flavor... you become a beacon that attracts those who value you like moths to a flame.

I can certainly see your sharp intellect helping in that regard, as a sharp sword sorting out through the weeds in search of the people that are compatible and vibe well with the authenticity that you are putting out there. 

[Buck Edwards]

9 minutes ago, Emerald said:

What I've found is that you have to turn off 99% of people with your weirdness by letting your freak flag fly and being super authentic, so that the wrong ones weed themselves out.

I understand the importance of being authentic. But how would you integrate with what's wrong with you if you just randomly sort and cut out 99% people. Wouldn't it create an ego chamber sort of? 

[Emerald]

40 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

I understand the importance of being authentic. But how would you integrate with what's wrong with you if you just randomly sort and cut out 99% people. Wouldn't it create an ego chamber sort of? 

It's not an active cutting out and excluding. It's more focused towards magnetism and inclusion of those who are magnetized... and building out my inner circle with compatible people.

And I'm certainly open to interacting with anyone who respects my boundaries and having them in my outer circle.

And I do like a lot of people who aren't necessarily compatible with me. And I have learned enough in the way of social skills to get by in most social contexts.

But I know that, if I'm looking for a deep and lasting relationship, that I have to attract in compatible people by showing up fully as myself.

To give an analogy, it's like marketing a product to the wrong target audience. It might be the most valuable product ever to the right target audience. But if you market the product to the wrong target audience, that product won't be valued at all.

And anytime in my life where my strengths have been viewed as weaknesses by those I'm closely surrounded by, it's always led to regressions in my growth and a feeling of being on shaky ground as it hits that survival concern around the potential of being exiled.

Also, in regard to your question about avoiding seeing my flaws by attracting like-minded people... is that what I've found since starting my YouTube channel and attracting in lots of people who are similar to me is that it's helped me so much with self-reflection.

Before I knew others who were engaged with inner work, I had a whole bunch of blindspots. And I even had this sense of specialness about it that caused me to be unaware of my blindspots. But interacting with lots of like-minded people dispossessed me of a lot of these.

And now I've met and become acquainted with 100s of people over the years who are on a similar path and each has been a mirror for me where I can learn about my own patterns and Shadows. I find that I learn the most about myself through interacting with other people.

But there's also a lot to learn from being generally acquainted with members of the general populace as well.

Edited September 7 by Emerald

[Reciprocality]

It is often the case that the more something resists change the more it prone to change other things and the more prone something is to change the less it can change other things

This can be observed in a million different situations, humans have for thousands of years observed this not only in the relation between physical forces but also in their own and others psychological behaviour and one of the consequences are the concepts of femininity and masculinity we carry with us today.

 

That masculine energy we immediately notice in men is their resistance to change via the rigidity in their situational judgement that gives rise to their tendency to independently assert themself into the environment. 

The feminine energy is equally immediately noticeable in most women, there is here a tendency to withhold situational judgements due to a higher sense of subtlety and more distinct ideation of socially acceptable behaviour thus lesser need to assert themself independently.

 

 

@Javfly33 It is hard to understand our own instincts but it could be worth the trouble and especially so if it can impact major decisions in life like pursuing enlightenment or not, so ill ask you what is the mechanism whereby you feel good in the presence of someone with the feminine characteristics I outlined above? Can it be a feeling of a form of validation about your tendency of asserting your perspectives and judgements that only someone with those feminine characteristics could provide you and ultimately a sense of your own identity that only comes forth under those feminine conditions?

[Buck Edwards]

Just now, Lila9 said:

This is really on point.

This a common manipulative technique to validate a woman while devaluing other women. You are *a positive trait/s* unlike all the other women who are *negative trait/s”.

This is why these sort of compliments are not compliments for me but red flags. I don’t care how well you view me, if you view women negatively I have nothing to do with you. 

+100

[Emerald]

3 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

This is a really good advice. 

Thank you!

[Javfly33]

8 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

Maybe you should reconsider what do you like. 

@Breakingthewall I know what i like but the devils sucks me in back 😂😂

But Who knows, maybe what i like is just an strategy to avoid Life. Maybe i want to escape society because i can not seem to manage the complexity of relationships, and the true work/mission is to master and be able to manage them. And Only then one can do what It wants 

8 hours ago, Emerald said:

What seems evident to me is that you have a feeling of not being good enough and a feeling of shame. And this translates into a feeling like you need to be something other than what you are to be attractive to a woman.

And because you're operating off of that sense of shame and 'not being good enough', you are trying to transcend your humanity to get relief from that feeling... and also (as an oppositional force to transcendence) trying to be what you believe women are always attracted to.

It is a struggle to fight against the powerlessness you feel in relation to women... as a result of your feelings of shame and projecting your feelings of 'not being enough' onto women.

But you cannot resolve the shame by becoming more transcendent... nor by becoming more masculine... nor by "fixing" or changing yourself in any way.

The only remedy is to love and accept yourself unconditionally... and it would be wise to begin by accepting your feminine side as this will rescind some of the projections onto women that give them an outsized feeling of power over you.

Sure, that makes sense, but everytime people say that thing about love/Accept Yourself unconditionally i dont understand what thats supposed to mean. How you do that? Where is the button exactly?

7 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

@Javfly33 if you ask for advice, I would say: forget the women, go for the spiritual 100%, then, when it's done, and that's not so far, go for the women and fuck them all. Or find your soul mate, or anything that it's your destiny