Own your neediness

[Chadders]

I think us guys can be tough on ourselves when it comes to women. Told not to not be needy but actually all you can do is own your neediness. You can’t switch it off and at least there’s an authenticity there. Like desire. Own it. Pitch your flag in the ground

Something I need to integrate more in my life

[Reciprocality]

But what if it can be changed? What if the neediness has been built up over a period of years and decades and the baseline for excitement and stimuli has been raised way beyond what we should own?

Edited September 2 by Reciprocality

[Chadders]

@Reciprocality If the neediness is there then what else can you do about it other than own it

We all bullshit ourselves about how much we need each other. We need people in our lives more than we care to admit. It’s hardwired 

[Reciprocality]

1 hour ago, Chadders said:

@Reciprocality If the neediness is there then what else can you do about it other than own it

We all bullshit ourselves about how much we need each other. We need people in our lives more than we care to admit. It’s hardwired 

@Chadders We do need people in our lives and we can not change that part, but that hardwired need is often minuscule in comparison to our habits.

I am pointing out that when we get used to something over a timespan of years and decades we become more needy than we are hardwired to be and that removing ourself from that situation can make us appreciate each interaction more and in the end allow us to be less needy again.

[NoSelfSelf]

You are right no matter what, weak people will remain weak for some reason, its not wired its programmed and followed to a T.It's a choice, it just helps people who want to win, helps for women or situations to have an easier decision to make.#itishowitis

[Schizophonia]

4 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

You are right no matter what, weak people will remain weak for some reason, its not wired its programmed and followed to a T.It's a choice, it just helps people who want to win, helps for women or situations to have an easier decision to make.#itishowitis

It's not english. 

[Buck Edwards]

Sometimes neediness can stem from deeper issues like childhood trauma. Inner child work is needed to resolve that. 

[Sugarcoat]

@Schizophonia 😂😂

[Sugarcoat]

If you own your “weaknesses” right it can sure be attractive 

[NoSelfSelf]

3 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

It's not english. 

English or spanish? 

[Schizophonia]

46 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

@Schizophonia 😂😂

 

14 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

English or spanish? 

 

[Sugarcoat]

@Schizophonia hehe

[Salvijus]

19 hours ago, Chadders said:

You can’t switch it off and at least there’s an authenticity there. Like desire.

Paradoxically if you become honest and embrace your desire, it starts to transform into something higher. 

[Ulax]

I dunno, I'd say do deep therapy, meditation and/or bodywork so that your neediness fades away. I guess having an attitude of owning your neediness is a step in the right direction  though

[Ulax]

6 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

It's not english. 

lmao

[Reciprocality]

@Chadders Is it the case that the more we appreciate a meal the less we require to eat it every week? 

If we appreciate going to the beach how often must we do it until the law of diminishing return kicks in and disables us of appreciating it as much?

Is there a chance that our neediness for being socially involved with other people is subject to the same equation?

[Chadders]

We are all vulnerable. By the very fact you can die means you are vulnerable and have needs.

If I had no needs at all I’d either be a fucking sociopath or would have completely awakened. Neither are the case. It’s like girl I like you. I don’t know why but you make me feel like jelly

And just to clarify, by showing your needs and desires I do not mean fucking grovelling 

It’s just being honest in the end because the other choice is you suppress it out of sight which will ironically make you more unsure of yourself and awkward. Better to own it and if someone can’t appreciate that sensitivity then it’s often down to maturity

@NoSelfSelf If having emotions means you’re weak then that’s a pretty screwed up perspective. This is exactly the kind of advice people do not need

[Chadders]

2 hours ago, Reciprocality said:

@Chadders Is it the case that the more we appreciate a meal the less we require to eat it every week? 

If we appreciate going to the beach how often must we do it until the law of diminishing return kicks in and disables us of appreciating it as much?

Is there a chance that our neediness for being socially involved with other people is subject to the same equation?

It’s an interesting analogy. I’m not so sure it’s directly comparable though

[NoSelfSelf]

6 hours ago, Chadders said:

 

@NoSelfSelf If having emotions means you’re weak then that’s a pretty screwed up perspective. This is exactly the kind of advice people do not need

Depanding where emotions are directed being needy is directed in the "wrong" thing...