Is This ADHD or Something Else? I'm Struggling and Need Real Help!

[UpperMaster]

Hey everyone, I’m really struggling and could use some advice or direction.

For as long as I can remember, I've had a hard time focusing. In high school, it was a mess, I was struggling to get through. Now, in university, it’s still hard. I’ve tried so many things to be productive, like motivating myself with fear (which is super harsh on me), but nothing seems to stick long term. I’m constantly feeling like I’m trying so hard but getting nowhere, and it's really messing with my confidence. 

On top of that, I’m super impulsive. When I get angry, I sometimes break things, which just makes me feel even worse afterward. I know it’s not healthy, and I need to get this under control, but I don’t even know where to start.

I’ve been thinking it might be ADHD, but I really don’t want to self-diagnose and end up relying on medication if that’s not the real issue. On the other hand, when a lot of ADHDers describe how they feel, it feels exactly the same. A battle uphill.  

It’s also crossed my mind that this could be something else entirely, like heavy metal poisoning or some other underlying cause. But how do I even know the difference, I can get tested but that takes money and time, so does getting professional help for ADHD. What should I start with?

I’m looking for advice on how to find the right professional help or resources that could point me in the right direction. I need a real plan of action that works, not just more tips on organizing my life.

How do I get proper professional help?

Should I first check for heavy metals or go to a professional?

How do I make sure im not mis-diagnosed? I don't want to take meds unnecessarily. 

What should I do in the mean time? 

Any useful websites or forums you know dedicated with ADHD?

Please help, I would appreciate it.

[UpperMaster]

ps. my parents do think I am dysfunctional in some ways and I think will be willing to help. I really don't want to get mis-diagnosed though, like taking meds for the rest of your life seems scary, and I know everyone and they mother is diagnosed with ADHD and have medication.

[Human Mint]

Hello. What are you studying? And how is it exactly that you're failing to study?

Going to the doctor won't kill you. And you don't even need to take medications if you don't want, specially with ADHD, it's a questionable strategy every doctor use with a not fully comprehended condition.

If you strongly desire to learn, you can do it. Expect to get what you put in.

Edited September 2 by Human Mint

[Ulax]

@UpperMaster What effect does drinking coffee have on you?

I ask because, imo, the effect that stimulants have on you can help you know if you have ADHD. If it hypes you up then its an indicator that you don't have it. If you find yourself calmer and more centered then that indicates that you do have ADHD.

Reason being is that ADHD brain react very differently to stimulants compared to regular folk. 

That said, I'd stress only using this as an indicator. A top level diagnostic psychiatrist is going to be important too. 

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Also, you might find value in this video:

 

Edited September 2 by Ulax

[UpperMaster]

5 hours ago, Human Mint said:

What are you studying?

@Human MintHey, I am studying business and economics. 

 

I failed half my subjects this year. Each year we have 10 subjects (5 per semester) and I have to rewrite 5 of them. 2 of them Im not rewriting because Im simply not prepared, three of them I am rewriting. If I pass the three subjects I am chasing to rewrite I will be able to progress to second year. 

Yes so for me, I have very impulsive tendencies and huge troubles focusing which are symptoms in line with ADHD, I have always been a relatively hyper person. Right now, being impulsive and my lack of focus is disrupting my life, thats why Im trying to find solutions. 

Yes, Yes, Yes, I am skeptical about doctors, I don't want unnecessarily get on meds.

 

 

 

[UpperMaster]

4 hours ago, Ulax said:

What effect does drinking coffee have on you?

Coffee has a weird effect on me. If I drink it on good sleep I feel great on it. However sometimes I do get very hyper-active or sometimes it makes me sleepy. I know I'm giving you mixed answers but thats because it really does have varying effects on me depending on how much sleep I got the night before. 

Yes, I might get a psychiatrist. 

 

Thank you for the video recommendation, I looked through it I will try it later today.

[Sho fio]

@UpperMaster think its most possible you have adhd working out and trying to focus the most times helps for me and laying of distracting decives.

[Ulax]

4 hours ago, UpperMaster said:

Coffee has a weird effect on me. If I drink it on good sleep I feel great on it. However sometimes I do get very hyper-active or sometimes it makes me sleepy. I know I'm giving you mixed answers but thats because it really does have varying effects on me depending on how much sleep I got the night before. 

I get you dude. To be fair, its just an indicator that I use, so might not be that helpful.

 

[UpperMaster]

@Sho fio Exercise and any techniques have minimal effect. The main thing I found that works is severely fear mongering myself to work which is something I cant get myself to do all the time.

Also it's not to say I cant work at all, it varies, but its a gamble every time. I have to rely on motivation, building discipline hasn't worked.

[UpperMaster]

@Ulax Yea I know, appreciate the help regardless really.

[Ulax]

@UpperMaster You are welcome mate.

Also, I'd recommend looking into Shinzen young's meditation work: https://www.shinzen.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/SeeHearFeelIntroduction_ver1.8.pdf.

Can be useful form of meditation for people with low attention spans

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r/adhd subreddit is useful also

Edited September 3 by Ulax

[Human Mint]

9 hours ago, UpperMaster said:

@Human MintHey, I am studying business and economics. 

 

I failed half my subjects this year. Each year we have 10 subjects (5 per semester) and I have to rewrite 5 of them. 2 of them Im not rewriting because Im simply not prepared, three of them I am rewriting. If I pass the three subjects I am chasing to rewrite I will be able to progress to second year. 

Well, I do not have the direct experience of your collegue unlike you, but it is definetely possible that some institutions just suck, i.e, they have a really poor methodological guidance with their students. And that makes all the diference. It may not be your case. But if it is, then changing to a better collegue could mean you are able to skyrocket your understanding.

Then other questions arise, like, Do you maintain a daily study routine? Does the subject that you're trying to study really matters to you? Do you understand studying is hard?

Today a lot of people get diagnosed with ADHD, which looks sus to me, kinda like a cheap diagnostic. I could be wrong.

You can teach a monkey a lot of stuff, and it only depends on the ability of the teachers.

Edited September 2 by Human Mint

[Raze]

Stop using social media, porn, and video games, and stop eating refined grains and processed sugars

[UpperMaster]

@Ulax thanks dude!

[UpperMaster]

@Human Mint The teachers are fine is my school. The education is actually really good. I am interested in the subjects, it's just that I struggle with standardised tests, presentations for me a very easy. Standardised tests are hard asf, cramming for them seems impossible, and even if I know the knowledge many times I don't apply it well in the test. I know ADHD is overdiognosed, I don't want to fall in that trap.

[UpperMaster]

@Raze This is something I really want to do. I tried many many many times I tell you but I failed. Maybe you can help me here: I relapse back into social media because without it I actually start thinking some horrible thoughts, which fucks my mental. Like it's hard to get through that, I start overthinking and ruminating about problems that aren't even that big of a deal, this becomes painful and then I relapse.

[Raze]

14 hours ago, UpperMaster said:

@Raze This is something I really want to do. I tried many many many times I tell you but I failed. Maybe you can help me here: I relapse back into social media because without it I actually start thinking some horrible thoughts, which fucks my mental. Like it's hard to get through that, I start overthinking and ruminating about problems that aren't even that big of a deal, this becomes painful and then I relapse.

Read when therapy doesn’t work by Shelly young 

[Human Mint]

15 hours ago, UpperMaster said:

@Human Mint The teachers are fine is my school. The education is actually really good. I am interested in the subjects, it's just that I struggle with standardised tests, presentations for me a very easy. Standardised tests are hard asf, cramming for them seems impossible, and even if I know the knowledge many times I don't apply it well in the test. I know ADHD is overdiognosed, I don't want to fall in that trap.

You can, first of all, study 30min to 1 hour every day which I asume you're not doing. Because is all the time you need to be at least OK. If you are putting the time and you still struggle, then I don't know what is it.

Then you may want to give up one or two asignatures, which may seem counterintuitive. But as you may realize, stress wrecks your attempts at progressing in anything. It may alleviate your back enough so you can focus and advance in the other ones.

Think of more strategies, it really sucks to invest your money in education and not geting at least some knowledge.

[Human Mint]

As for the doctor or other professionals, I understand it would be foolish to avoid them.