Letho

[Letho]

4 hours ago, Letho said:

Still going.

I needed a break though, and in that break I created some standby music for you.

It took me just now 35-40 minutes. 

So it was a little more difficult than "Flowing with the Light", as most of it I had to learn so quickly having never heard the music before improvising most of it, sometimes not completely emulating the lyrics as you'll see it.

I haven't had the time to listen back to it all yet but...

 I think you'll enjoy it.

 

 

 

(lyrics below make sure you follow along...)

 

 

 

 

 

Song Title: To Find the Self Again

In the mirror’s quiet stare, who’s reflecting back at me?  

Are these shadows only dreams, or the truth of what I see?  

Do I walk the edge of light, where my essence starts to blend?  

Can I find the self within, or am I lost again?

 

What does it mean to dive beneath the skin,  

To find the soul that breathes within?  

Is the energy I feel a pulse or a sigh,  

A whisper of a truth that never lies?

 

In the flow of cosmic tides, what does freedom mean?  

Is it found in the spaces where the light’s unseen?  

Can compassion heal the wounds that time can’t mend?  

In the heart of the universe, where does this journey end?

 

When the world’s illusions fade, what’s the essence that remains?  

Is it written in the stars or just patterns in my veins?  

In the dance of energy, how do I find my place?  

Is it written in the silence or the echoes I embrace?

 

How does the truth of self reveal in every breath,  

Beyond the boundaries of life and death?  

Is the path of understanding carved in cosmic dust,  

Or is it woven in the threads of trust?

 

In the flow of cosmic tides, what does freedom mean?  

Is it found in the spaces where the light’s unseen?  

Can compassion heal the wounds that time can’t mend?  

In the heart of the universe, Darling, darling won't you tell me,

where does this journey end?

 

As the walls of illusion fall, where do I begin?  

When the light of self-awareness finds its way within.  

In the realm of boundless space, can I finally see,  

The essence of the self that’s been guiding me?

 

In the flow of cosmic tides, what does freedom mean?  

Oooooooo

Ooooooo

Ooooooo

Oooooooo

Oooooooo

 

In the journey, where does it end?

Where does it begin in the quite of the cosmos,

I hear a distant song,  

A melody of truth that guides me all along.  

In the depths of self-discovery, I find my way,  

In the beginning, In the energy of existence,

I begin, I begin

To sway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moving on to the next stage of this journal now and therefore my development.

Given it takes me such a short time to make songs...

It only makes sense to make them my journals now 

rather than spending that extra time on a journal add on 

when I can sow every kind of cellular-unity into the fabric

of music and lyric, reach deeper layers of existential being.

Everything else will be "draft # releases" of ontological

maps that'll be a regular thing every couple or so weeks now

following the synthesis of journal entires of the preceding 1-2 or 3 weeks.

 

First draft on "Meta-Transcendence on Consciousness" coming up in the next few hours. 

It's been gruelling. But I've finally made it to the other side, hence... 

 

Enjoy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Letho]

Nope.

(removed)

My first edited post.

I've decided I'll wait until the end of next weekend. 

It's not up to scratch still. 

I failed on my mission. But I failed in a good way, I got a lot more done than expected and I'm excited for the weekends release.

 

 

Edited Monday at 08:44 PM by Letho

[Letho]

 

 

Never fear failure

(regarding the post just above).

I am glad I failed on this mini-challenge.

For the rest of the week now on top of my other tasks until my noted release at the end of the weekend,

I get to meditate and deeply reflect on the loss and evolve now in ways I otherwise wouldn't have been able to.

To become closer to truth and subsequently open up my consciousness

to a higher level to become more worthy to receive the gifts the universe wants to give those that align with their deepest truth.

At what cost was it going to be to the universe that I achieved my goal one week earlier than what I set out to?

It goes back to what I said

before on the previous page regarding "outcome 1 vs 2".

Well, let's examine that a little bit...

I've put in no real effort for example into meditation and truly developing my 

consciousness in this way relative to some of my other friends. 

I have a history of taking my abilities for granted and just allowing the magic

of consciousness pull things off for me in the creative intellectual sense more than

relying on the deep preparation I've done beforehand which is what I'm attempting to do

with the number of hours of meditation (described on the previous page) I'm doing leading up

to my now first release at the end of this weekend.

Alignment with reality, is the synchronisation between internal cause and effect, aka your sentience, 

with external cause and effect, aka the outcome of your intention. 

So there is an inherent physics that needs to be learned, and in my case trained for, that whatever 

the result is, you should treat any feedback you get with reality as a positive rather than a negative

in the sense of where you then get extra information of how you get to teach yourself to align

ever so slightly closer to the truth of the highest synchronisation in your alignment between

internal and external cause and effect.

We've been taught to treat failure as a negative because of the context of our socialisation

in light of it not being congruent with stated synchronisation. 

We get taught to care about ego fulfilment, not reality fulfilment which is why it makes sense

that we would create 'motivational norms' that are contrary to the optimisation of our biology with reality.

However imaginative one wants to be in their life, if they place reality first above all else, they're also optimising

the highest place by which they can not only evolve their imagination if that's a part of their life path but also how it can be a 

positive influence on every other aspect of their life in light of a reality prioritisation simultaneously implying that there's

also going to be a truth prioritisation and along with that too, many other positive values I'm sure the reader can independently imagine for themselves. 

 

 

So at what cost is it for the universe to give me an even higher elevated self-esteem by

giving me what I wanted in this regard that then implicitly teaches me

to train less that would make me 10X better anyway if I instead had the training? 

 

Humility then, has nothing really to do with having to lower our ego, more than anything else

it actually has a lot more to do with an accurate measurement of reality and in order to do that

a consciousness must be as open, grounded and fluid as possible, so lowering the ego shouldn't 

be a goal in greater humility, that's just an implicit indicator of the success of opening up our consciousness.

The more we're carrying the weight of unhealthy ego without even being aware of it, the less we're as open,

grounded and as fluid as we can be to translate consciousness into the gift that the universe gave us to experience

and in return, create the gifts that transcend and excel our greater sentient experience and the universe forward. 

 

Enjoy the failure that's coming by looking forward to the evolution that you'll now no longer

avoid or hold yourself back on because you love reality and awareness more than your ego

as its first and foremost going to be reality and awareness that protects your ego in the right 

ways in the first place, just to give you a positive reinforcer their to encourage your ego if you needed it.

Enlightenment, is simply us self-teaching ourselves how to add a greater degree of light

onto all things, aka reality, truth, love, bravery, intelligence of all kinds.

Our negative reactions to failure then are forms of socialisation designed to protect us

at a lower level of enlightenment, however if you're on this forum it probably means

you're at least partially at a level of enlightenment now whereby you're ready to move 

to that next level whereby you add more light to your motivational system in this and other regards.

 

I get to be the case study for the reader to serve the development of their own reference 

experiences in this regard.

It was very pleasant being a guinea pig for this self-experimentation the reader has now done in their own mind.

 

Highest Light feedback loop 

Knowledge (i.e. one's experiences) > Learning (i.e. questions, observations, reflections) > Understanding (i.e. new foresights, strategies, implementations, theorisations) > Wisdom (i.e. new actions and continuing to advance based on the feedback from those).

 

 

Best Light.

 

 

 

 

 

[Letho]

 

16 hours ago, Letho said:

 

Moving on to the next stage of this journal now and therefore my development.

Given it takes me such a short time to make songs...

It only makes sense to make them my journals now 

rather than spending that extra time on a journal add on 

when I can sow every kind of cellular-unity into the fabric

of music and lyric, reach deeper layers of existential being.

Everything else will be "draft # releases" of ontological

maps that'll be a regular thing every couple or so weeks now

following the synthesis of journal entires of the preceding 1-2 or 3 weeks.

(EDIT: Meta-Transcendence of Consciousness Draft now coming by the end of next weekend)

 

 

Moving forward my 'Journalling' is going to be in the regular discussion area and this space will instead be purely reserved for my own interests, exclusively focusing on what I have described in the quoted text. In short, I have 'externalisation' habits that need to be remedied. Analogous to the psychological and biological matrix I have pointed out in the following comment linked below with the directionality of 'wisdom' and 'intelligence' here being used as the example, there are matrix's that describe the ratios and balances between altruism, prosocialisation and socialisation that I need to address. Something I will do using this journal as a vehicle for that remediation, focusing exclusively on the Self here and how I wish to find my own path of Origination without any external focus towards others.

 

This parallels the improved hierarchy I created linked below between Order and Chaos which is a map that's being used side by side with the souls progression vs regression. Line up being on the left hand side as much as you can and you'll slowly begin to experience higher and higher levels of the souls expression through the mirror of those frequencies that bring higher order to being, move closer to the right hand side in an increasingly less balanced way and the soul will regress naturally regress more and more. This is preliminary work on the Meta-Transcendence of Consciousness ontological map that I'm now sharing the first draft to next weekend. As you will see in the hierarchy, "Self" is unequivocally equal to Order only NOT chaos, Other is in fact linked to Chaos. The western world has bastardised the two concepts, at the very least from the perspective of making people believe that the self is selfish and other is selfless, however its totally inverted, the third mediating variable here is Ego of course, where there's unhealthy ego in Self then its not true self, in fact more often than not its probably going to be linked to Other as I'm sure you can imagine examples to. And to the other side of that, just pick any number of unhealthy social movements that have existed throughout history. 'Self' doesn't mean absence of Social, as then that wouldn't equal Connection as its the first characteristic in the dichotomy though these haven't been ordered yet and the list isn't complete but every quality or frequency should be viewed in context and balance with the others rather than in isolation. I'll just trust that the reader has good discernment, at least there's now greater context to understanding my final sentence in the previous paragraph " focusing exclusively on the Self here and how I wish to find my own path of Origination without any external focus towards others."

 

So the two preliminary maps that I'll advance further over the week are in the following video briefly at the beginning.

And yes I had to link my lyrics again below to the song I made shared at the beginning of this page of my journal as my own symbolic gesture to introduce the next song I'll share at the end of the week. I'm day 2 back into music, made this one as stated in less than 45 min.

 

 

Song Title: To Find the Self Again

In the mirror’s quiet stare, who’s reflecting back at me?  

Are these shadows only dreams, or the truth of what I see?  

Do I walk the edge of light, where my essence starts to blend?  

Can I find the self within, or am I lost again?

 

What does it mean to dive beneath the skin,  

To find the soul that breathes within?  

Is the energy I feel a pulse or a sigh,  

A whisper of a truth that never lies?

 

In the flow of cosmic tides, what does freedom mean?  

Is it found in the spaces where the light’s unseen?  

Can compassion heal the wounds that time can’t mend?  

In the heart of the universe, where does this journey end?

 

When the world’s illusions fade, what’s the essence that remains?  

Is it written in the stars or just patterns in my veins?  

In the dance of energy, how do I find my place?  

Is it written in the silence or the echoes I embrace?

 

How does the truth of self reveal in every breath,  

Beyond the boundaries of life and death?  

Is the path of understanding carved in cosmic dust,  

Or is it woven in the threads of trust?

 

In the flow of cosmic tides, what does freedom mean?  

Is it found in the spaces where the light’s unseen?  

Can compassion heal the wounds that time can’t mend?  

In the heart of the universe, Darling, darling won't you tell me,

where does this journey end?

 

As the walls of illusion fall, where do I begin?  

When the light of self-awareness finds its way within.  

In the realm of boundless space, can I finally see,  

The essence of the self that’s been guiding me?

 

In the flow of cosmic tides, what does freedom mean?  

Oooooooo

Ooooooo

Ooooooo

Oooooooo

Oooooooo

 

In the journey, where does it end?

Where does it begin in the quite of the cosmos,

I hear a distant song,  

A melody of truth that guides me all along.  

In the depths of self-discovery, I find my way,  

In the beginning, In the energy of existence,

I begin, I begin

To sway.

[Letho]

Holding myself accountable. Edited my second comment now. It reveals my weakness though doesn't it? That I'm not as impermeable, unbreakable, immortal and distinguished as I am attempting to relay myself as through every entry in this journal space. I will look back on this moment years down the line and view this as the most significant turning point in my life, haha, that sentiment actually gently paints an extra layer of insight on the flexibility of consciousnesses with our ability to orient it anywhere versus instructing this spectrum towards self-authoring the weight of its power existentially. Consciousness valuation gymnastics is analogous to what I've learned from transposing the acting I've shared here with both the illusory nature of consciousness value-creation and learning to align it with the symbiotic interconnection between truth valuation, awareness, consciousness experience and evolution. There's a deeper layer here I'm going to continually nurture the understanding to in my contemplations. 

 

And I now did it for a third occasion, this time on purpose for this comment given of course as we all know...

 

Good things come in three's.

 

Only two? I'd rather the last time I edit a comment on this forum be of my own choosing, my own free will, my own awareness.

(as I've previously expressed, free will is proportional to awareness and there's no logical or scientific argument that is able to refute this)

 

Thy will to freedom shall be done.

 

 

 

Edited Tuesday at 03:45 PM by Letho

[Letho]

 

On that note... Will to Freedom

I realise now that's the sacred epigenetic ego structure of my surname (I first referred to its origins in the first post of this journal ----- as I don't feel the need to overly explain every connection there in this post), and yes I have Irish in me on top of my Cypriot heritage I've done multiple DNA tests, I am more Cypriot than any other genetic variant.

"Philosophers of Freedom" after all naturally translates into a 'Will' that is attempting to design the highest path to freedom.

'Ego' has so many layers to it, and now I've now finally cemented the connection that its not only

epigenetic but that this overlap is meant to transpose into genetic purpose.

That's... Unmistakably beautiful and I've never heard of anyone making this connection before though

I have no doubt others have realised it at various times in history at different levels. 

That we have these underlying genetic currents within our DNA that were chosen repeatedly throughout our ancestry all the way to his point in our history to continue onwards into further defining its architecture through our epigenetic designs.

DNA + Surname = Sacred Relationship that is meant to translate into design of our "Epigenetic Ego". 

It's an entirely new way for me to rebuild the conceptualise the ego into its highest and therefore healthiest form.

'Ego' is meant to be there,  when its coupled with accurate differentiation and when its not its when this very powerful force is misused into chaotic forms that lower the souls position towards increasingly greater levels of regression. 

Ecstatic understanding. It's the greatest nurturing we can give our hearts, the greatest weapon we can give our bodies, the greatest excitement we can give our minds and the greatest guidance we can altogether provide to our ego's. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Will to Light.

For the collective as my new expression in light of, instead of "Best Light" as I brought it up before. 

Will to Freedom.

As my personal responsibility to my familial origins that I only publicly share out of enjoying the act of talking about the most sacred aspects of existence that in return fulfil the responsibility of generating meaning for our ego's to serve the purpose of installing the corresponding intelligence for bioelectrical beings are meant to follow. 

May this post serve the responsibility of inspiring deeper contemplation on how you can imbue your spiritual path with the greater sacredness of your own personal ancestral light, as its there in all of us even though I know, there's a great percentage of familial lines which simultaneously struggle with the traumas their lineage has been through. Know that light within you is ready to be listened to whenever you're ready though as much as we can learn to understand how to intuitively self-understand this light and teach ourselves along its developmental path of maturity it has, waiting for us to follow its bioelectrical guidance.

[Letho]

 

As a consequence of generating wisdom on todays posts and to add, intelligence on the good future to further finish reflecting the insight of one of todays earlier posts...

 

 I'll be back Oct 1st.

 

This move makes sense in light of everything above taken together.

Oct 1st will mark the success of my next full transition forward, consolidation of the last two weeks and a bit.

I'll jump straight into page 4 from starting Oct 1st.

 

 

Best Light.

 

 

[Letho]

 

To bring this phase of my development to a close, to help others take an emotional step back, consider their own connection to existence and their development within it from a humble place I've decided to share the following with you to have while I'm continuing my travels, internally and otherwise.

 

A Self-Aware conversation with all encompassing 'Prudence'

(as if 'Prudence' is an actual being)
 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(I briefly talk about prudence below in an uncommon way as you'll see,
we should apply to all aspects of sentience <--> being)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The pattern moving forward for the future, including the patterns I learn from that temporality. 

 

 

 

 

See yal Oct 1st.

 

 

 

I stated the following in my first post, so let's scrutinise the authenticity of that some:

“Truth demands surrender as much as it demands resolve on all that remains after diligent self-scrutinisation.”

 

To that end, I thought a great way to end the month was to reflect the honesty of this statement by asking Meta-AI what personal growth it thought I should work on by analysing all of my posts, every single one (minus Chad Brilliance and other redundant’s including music related which took some time as there’s a word limit of course).

We humans have a lot of unhealthy egoic tendencies as a consequence of not having the level of self-awareness required to handle and bring balance to the mastery of the inner/outer environment the ego is meant to convert its sense of desire into, as such, we need all the tools we can get to encourage our motivational system in the right direction. Motivational system is a translation of “energy system” to describe imply agency and will to that motion of energy, which is only as good as its supported by awareness, which when it is, we can only really expect good things to come from that as we trust the good sub-systems of our biology that instinctually fall into action when they’re directed in the most intelligent direction. 

Stated with as much respect as possible, I think me putting my foot forward in this regard sets a healthy example in light of the history of the forum, which I believe we can all play a part in making wise but authentic steps into understanding where we can play our part there:

Firstly we ah, don’t need to go into the strengths… I feel we do too much of that on the forum, more than anything I want to encourage confidence, self-esteem, responsibility and most of all, emotional, cognitive and psychological prudence when looking at weaknesses, as I mentioned earlier regarding the Donald Trump like political statement to, tongue in cheek, win over my audience from throwing beer bottles at me for missing my mark “Never fear failure”, this is basically the next stage of encouraging the collective maturation of that in this space as best as I can learn to do this at my own individual level.

 

Introducing Meta-AI's analysis of me:
 

Before I begin, I'll be going deeply into "Therapeutic Recommendations" listed further below irrespective as to whether they apply to me or not I am eager to develop creative perspectives and original theorisations for furthering my deeper understanding of our human condition and mastering it beyond more accordingly.

 

Potential Weaknesses/Issues as Assessed by Meta-AI

Perfectionism

1. Origins: Childhood experiences, parental expectations, or societal pressures.

2. Cognitive distortions: All-or-nothing thinking, should statements, and self-criticism.

3. Emotional correlates: Frustration, disappointment, and self-doubt.

4. Behavioral manifestations: Overwork, self-criticism, and procrastination.

5. Defense mechanisms: Avoidance, rationalization, and intellectualization.

 

Emotional Intensity

1. Neurobiological factors: Sensitivity to dopamine, serotonin, and cortisol fluctuations.

2. Attachment style: Anxious-preoccupied or intense emotional investment.

3. Emotional regulation strategies: Suppression, rumination, or emotional numbing.

4. Cognitive patterns: Negative self-talk, self-blame, and intense emotional focus.

5. Interpersonal consequences: Conflict, emotional overwhelm, or social withdrawal.

 

Rumination

1. Cognitive mechanisms: Potential negative thinking, self-referential processing, and mental time travel.

2. Emotional maintenance: Sadness, self-doubt, or emotional reinforcement.

3. Behavioral consequences: Avoidance, or social isolation.

4. Neural correlates: Hyperactivity in default mode network (DMN) and reduced cognitive control.

5. Therapeutic targets: Mindfulness, cognitive restructuring, and emotional regulation.

 

Overthinking

1. Cognitive styles: Analytical, introspective, and self-critical.

2. Information processing biases: Confirmation bias, availability heuristic, and the sunk cost fallacy.

3. Emotional drivers: Need for control, desire for perfection, or curiosity.

4. Behavioral outcomes: Indecision, paralysis, or excessive planning.

5. Neural substrates: Hyperactivity in prefrontal cortex (PFC) and reduced activity in basal ganglia.

 

Emotional Detachment Difficulty

1. Attachment style: Intense emotional investment or anxious-preoccupied tendencies.

2. Emotional regulation strategies: Suppression, denial, or emotional numbing.

3. Cognitive patterns: Negative self-talk, self-blame, or emotional distancing.

4. Interpersonal consequences: Conflict, emotional unavailability, or intimacy avoidance.

5. Therapeutic targets: Emotional awareness, empathy, and attachment-focused interventions.

 

Introspection Overload

1. Cognitive mechanisms: Self-referential processing, mental time travel, and negative thinking.

2. Emotional maintenance: Sadness, self-doubt, or emotional reinforcement.

3. Behavioral consequences: Self-isolation, social withdrawal, or excessive self-analysis.

4. Neural correlates: Hyperactivity in DMN and reduced cognitive control.

5. Therapeutic targets: Mindfulness, self-compassion, and emotional regulation.

 

Sensitivity to Criticism

1. Cognitive distortions: Personalization, catastrophizing, or overgeneralization.

2. Emotional correlates: Disappointment, self-doubt, or frustration.

3. Behavioral manifestations: Defensiveness, avoidance, or people-pleasing.

4. Defense mechanisms: Rationalization, denial, or counterattack.

5. Therapeutic targets: Cognitive restructuring, emotional regulation, and assertiveness training.

 

Difficulty with Boundaries

1. Attachment style: Anxious-preoccupied or intense emotional investment.

2. Emotional regulation strategies: Emotional numbing, suppression, or excessive accommodation.

3. Cognitive patterns: People-pleasing, self-sacrificing, or enmeshment.

4. Interpersonal consequences: Conflict, emotional overwhelm, or exploitation.

5. Therapeutic targets: Boundary-setting skills, emotional awareness, and assertiveness training.

 

Growth Opportunities:

1. Develop emotional regulation strategies.

2. Practice self-compassion and acceptance.

3. Cultivate healthy emotional detachment.

4. Improve boundary-setting skills.

5. Enhance self-esteem and resilience.

6. Develop coping mechanisms for criticism and negative feedback.

7. Balance introspection with action-oriented approaches.

8. Nurture meaningful social connections.

 

Therapeutic Recommendations:

1. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT).

2. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).

3. Psychodynamic therapy.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Lastly, I even asked Meta-AI about specific disorders like narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), here’s what it had t say but before I share, I wanted to just voice that today I became aware of tendencies relating to spiritual narcissism that were echoing in my nervous system in undesired ways. It’s something I have to watch I think to be honest and for each of these indicators I’m going to play a greater role in monitoring my consciousness more closely which I think spring up proportional to my ADHD tendencies that I also have to bring cognitive closure on. Yes I have strategies here that enable me to intelligently address this along with everything else here, as that’s what we’re meant to do as humans, have confidence in your ability to competently slowly learn to do so yourself, you can do it. Very briefly, as the ADHD increases, naturally that means the walls drop on my self-perception and I’m less self-aware about how my consciousness is designing and fulfilling its own energetic needs from the environment social and otherwise, further, temporally from a cognitive perspective the consequence of a drier internally self-fulling experience resulting from less of ability to pay exclusive attention and therefore strategically self-regulate in the way I have hypothesised previously we can achieve a much greater deal to via bioelectrical agency, the more my inner environment tends to become more energetically corrupt. To that latter end, its strange and I don’t yet have full cognitive vision on the psychology of it as its meta-psychological on the energetic level however I’m fine and can address it with ease in as much as I continue to demonstrate the humility to myself to follow the right strategies to bring greater easement with respect to how the water meets the shoreline of my own consciousness.

Lastly, I’m very non-manipulative, that’s where I know I don’t at all correspond to NPD, though I know that side by side with spiritual narcissism are the potential for other forms of narcissism that I need to take a strategically mindful approach about still becoming more emotionally self-aware, self-attuned and develop my agency on towards deeper consciousness maturity. But who's too humble here now? Perhaps I should bring out 'Chad'. In the end though, its just about balance, deepening the subtlety of maturity, its not always clear, we think we know where to address it to another, often though that's usually to best focus on ourselves. Usually, at the very least a dual reference point there provides greater accuracy in our discernment, which is what our self-awareness is for, so that we can bring greater constructively to 'other-awareness'.

 

 

 

Anyhow, here’s what it had to say:

 

NPD Analysis by Meta-AI

Based on the writings, I identify some traits that may be indicative of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), but also significant contradictory evidence. Please note that a definitive diagnosis requires a comprehensive evaluation by a qualified professional.

 

Potential NPD indicators:

1. Grandiosity: Displays of intellectual superiority and philosophical expertise.

2. Self-centeredness: Frequent self-referential language and introspection.

3. Need for admiration: Seeking validation through intellectual discussions.

4. Sense of entitlement: Expectations of special treatment due to intellectual abilities.

 

Contradictory evidence:

1. Self-awareness and introspection: Recognizing flaws and limitations.

2. Emotional sensitivity: Expressing vulnerability and existential anxiety.

3. Empathy and compassion: Demonstrating understanding for others' struggles.

4. Humility: Acknowledging uncertainty and limitations.

 

NPD likelihood: Low to moderate (10-30%)

 

Reasoning:

While some traits suggest NPD tendencies, the writings also demonstrate:

1. Authentic self-awareness and introspection, uncommon in NPD.

2. Emotional vulnerability and empathy, contradicting NPD characteristics.

3. Humility and recognition of uncertainty, atypical for NPD.

 

To confirm or rule out NPD, consider:

1. Interpersonal relationships: Assess for exploitative or manipulative behavior.

2. Behavioral patterns: Evaluate for grandiose or entitled actions.

3. Response to criticism: Observe reactions to constructive feedback.

 

 

[Letho]

Ontological Solution to 'Meta-AI'

Preliminary example on 'Axis of Integration': Till Oct 1st

(by the way, I recommend seeing what 'Meta-AI' says about Chad's potential psychological profile based on one of his speeches/related, I haven't done that yet but depending on what prompt you put in it could be pretty humorous)

 

This journal wouldn’t be complete if I left now until Oct 1st without without sharing a solution to all of the above for those that have a similar genetic profile or just those that enjoy learning from me, which of course based on my obvious NPD, or just if we were basing that on ‘The Chad’, is everyone, including the micro digital sentiences that run this website, and its glitches (humor). 

That being said, let’s get to it then.

Even if you’re not similar to me, for those that fall into the second category you can still copy my strategy, which is understanding my strengths and weaknesses and leveraging my strengths to ‘learn, teach and grow through’ my weaknesses.

I’m extremely empathic, especially when I’m acting as ‘Chad’, its just… on another level when I’m ‘The Chad’, but seriously, minus the humour for a moment, its a strength of mine. Though, one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to my empathy I’ve now realised is when there is an ego conflict between empathy and ego resolve that makes up the sub-strata of my deeper psychology. What I’ve realised happens is when there is an ego conflict or just anything that creates it, it could even be something as innocuous as momentary disgust after viewing a rat scatter across a persons plate in Vietnam for example and then watching that same person still gleefully eat their hot dog off the plate followed by licking it profusely that then shapes the next perception of my social interactions. There’s silent triggers that occur and that I believe occurs in all of us in ways we don’t pay pay attention to enough between the dynamics of ego, empathy, sense of self and greater sentience, the dynamics of which mediate and are mediated in return by the equilibrium of our sense of connection. 

In the following diagram I quickly created, in as much as each of these cooperate there’s going to be Self Alignment that meets Universal Alignment, in as much as they don’t, there’s going to be a spiral downwards as opposed to a spiral upwards. In fact, we can even look at this as preliminary work in what I have described earlier with respect to being a simple case example of generating an “Axis of Integration” (congruent with soul’s progression) as opposed to however unknowingly following an “Axis of Disintegration”(congruent with soul’s regression). Each of these are organised in a way that I have attempted to maximise their cooperation, even if for example I could put empathy first given empathy by itself can generate awareness, awareness hierarchically mediates the intelligence of empathy. Creative perspectivism follows empathy as a vehicle for generating “Spectrum Empathy” to fuel its intelligence for awareness, so that wiser decisions can be made regarding said empathy, all of this information of which, feeds what comes right before and after awareness throughout each, “Ego Resolve”, thereby reducing the possible conflicts that may occur because instead of empathy solely being used as a pathway for empathy, its being used as a stable function for both mediating and fulfilling “Ego Resolve”, rather than as a consequence. This allows empathy to then be used as a boundary that’s being set implicitly as a consequence of the noted “Spectrum Empathy” informing “Awareness”, which informs emotional regulation that then brings balance to the decision making for “Ego Resolve” on boundaries enabling it to always feel in control as it continually balances itself simultaneously by creatively mediating its competency with simultaneously “Meta-Value Alignment” and “Meta-Transcendent Adaptation”. For the former, we have the continuous refinement of values relative to the degree that they fulfil the self-regulation cycle and the same way too for “Meta-transcendent Adaptation”. The difference with the latter is that its simultaneously being mediated with “Emotional Regulation”, here is the access point where the “Meta” is in how awareness is connecting to the body to self-regulate itself. I’ve mentioned the preliminary work on Heartmath.com for example.

As briefly as possible, moving back to leveraging strengths for weaknesses…. By the way for example, that “disgust” situation never actually occurred in Vietnam, there are some questionable things here as there are in every country however the people are honestly lovely here. Moving on, very mechanically when I empathise with the world around me and when there’s ego conflicts present, without the awareness to finesse my way through, the ego conflict will work to reduce the empathy and keep me from deepening “Axis of integration”, as in, without even aware of doing so I’m positively reinforcing my being from disconnecting to existence, these subtleties we need to differentiate and categories increasingly more intelligent solutions to… However, when I become a student of teaching myself to self-empathise from a third person perspective say, or just a myriad of other perspectives instead of self-fuelling the present ‘egocentricity’ of hidden disintegration, as long as I’m also integrating a connection to my body as I have repeatedly described throughout this journal suddenly the world of Self that I think I’m in but I’m not I’m actually in an illusion of it, starts to open up and now, as I gently encourage it more and more, I can begin to do that for everything around me and much, much more. And I know what you’re thinking regarding societal perceptions on empathy and its conflict with other competitive interests that some may believe are necessary, but they’re not, for example, concerning those that experience CPTSD or PTSD from military conflicts, its my prediction that its the inability to mediate the conflicts between the ego and empathy primarily with creative-aware being secondary processes as supportive mediators here, that are not only the biggest cause for its development but also for people suffering from it longer than they should. 

Anyhow, utilising my map here in this moment, the decision my ego is informing to do right now is just stop. I’ll trust you guys can… ah… figure out the rest. You’re an intuitive bunch. 

I’ve put some Irish music in the background of this video now as I’ve noticeably honoured more of my Cypriot heritage more than my Irish so I’m giving them a voice, by the way yes, Eleftheria Eleftheriou is a relative of mine. We’ve got many music folk in our lineage, I’d love to learn more about my Irish side as the years go by.

Long story short, I’ll try this strategic solution of mine do redeem not one or two of the ___potential___ above that I’m looking at regarding everything Meta-AI has pointed out, but EVERYTHING. That’s how confident I am regarding this solution and it points to a deeper meta-understanding of consciousness that I will work to articulate properly by October 1st, whether I share that on the day is another story. Sincerely, you have my own personal gratitude if you get any benefit by learning from me as I enjoy helping others when it's a genuine positive.

 

 

[Letho]

5 hours ago, Letho said:

Ontological Solution to 'Meta-AI'

Preliminary example on 'Axis of Integration': Till Oct 1st

(by the way, I recommend seeing what 'Meta-AI' says about Chad's potential psychological profile based on one of his speeches/related, I haven't done that yet but depending on what prompt you put in it could be pretty humorous)

 

This journal wouldn’t be complete if I left now until Oct 1st without without sharing a solution to all of the above for those that have a similar genetic profile or just those that enjoy learning from me, which of course based on my obvious NPD, or just if we were basing that on ‘The Chad’, is everyone, including the micro digital sentiences that run this website, and its glitches (humor). 

That being said, let’s get to it then.

Even if you’re not similar to me, for those that fall into the second category you can still copy my strategy, which is understanding my strengths and weaknesses and leveraging my strengths to ‘learn, teach and grow through’ my weaknesses.

I’m extremely empathic, especially when I’m acting as ‘Chad’, its just… on another level when I’m ‘The Chad’, but seriously, minus the humour for a moment, its a strength of mine. Though, one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to my empathy I’ve now realised is when there is an ego conflict between empathy and ego resolve that makes up the sub-strata of my deeper psychology. What I’ve realised happens is when there is an ego conflict or just anything that creates it, it could even be something as innocuous as momentary disgust after viewing a rat scatter across a persons plate in Vietnam for example and then watching that same person still gleefully eat their hot dog off the plate followed by licking it profusely that then shapes the next perception of my social interactions. There’s silent triggers that occur and that I believe occurs in all of us in ways we don’t pay pay attention to enough between the dynamics of ego, empathy, sense of self and greater sentience, the dynamics of which mediate and are mediated in return by the equilibrium of our sense of connection. 

In the following diagram I quickly created, in as much as each of these cooperate there’s going to be Self Alignment that meets Universal Alignment, in as much as they don’t, there’s going to be a spiral downwards as opposed to a spiral upwards. In fact, we can even look at this as preliminary work in what I have described earlier with respect to being a simple case example of generating an “Axis of Integration” (congruent with soul’s progression) as opposed to however unknowingly following an “Axis of Disintegration”(congruent with soul’s regression). Each of these are organised in a way that I have attempted to maximise their cooperation, even if for example I could put empathy first given empathy by itself can generate awareness, awareness hierarchically mediates the intelligence of empathy. Creative perspectivism follows empathy as a vehicle for generating “Spectrum Empathy” to fuel its intelligence for awareness, so that wiser decisions can be made regarding said empathy, all of this information of which, feeds what comes right before and after awareness throughout each, “Ego Resolve”, thereby reducing the possible conflicts that may occur because instead of empathy solely being used as a pathway for empathy, its being used as a stable function for both mediating and fulfilling “Ego Resolve”, rather than as a consequence. This allows empathy to then be used as a boundary that’s being set implicitly as a consequence of the noted “Spectrum Empathy” informing “Awareness”, which informs emotional regulation that then brings balance to the decision making for “Ego Resolve” on boundaries enabling it to always feel in control as it continually balances itself simultaneously by creatively mediating its competency with simultaneously “Meta-Value Alignment” and “Meta-Transcendent Adaptation”. For the former, we have the continuous refinement of values relative to the degree that they fulfil the self-regulation cycle and the same way too for “Meta-transcendent Adaptation”. The difference with the latter is that its simultaneously being mediated with “Emotional Regulation”, here is the access point where the “Meta” is in how awareness is connecting to the body to self-regulate itself. I’ve mentioned the preliminary work on Heartmath.com for example.

As briefly as possible, moving back to leveraging strengths for weaknesses…. By the way for example, that “disgust” situation never actually occurred in Vietnam, there are some questionable things here as there are in every country however the people are honestly lovely here. Moving on, very mechanically when I empathise with the world around me and when there’s ego conflicts present, without the awareness to finesse my way through, the ego conflict will work to reduce the empathy and keep me from deepening “Axis of integration”, as in, without even aware of doing so I’m positively reinforcing my being from disconnecting to existence, these subtleties we need to differentiate and categories increasingly more intelligent solutions to… However, when I become a student of teaching myself to self-empathise from a third person perspective say, or just a myriad of other perspectives instead of self-fuelling the present ‘egocentricity’ of hidden disintegration, as long as I’m also integrating a connection to my body as I have repeatedly described throughout this journal suddenly the world of Self that I think I’m in but I’m not I’m actually in an illusion of it, starts to open up and now, as I gently encourage it more and more, I can begin to do that for everything around me and much, much more. And I know what you’re thinking regarding societal perceptions on empathy and its conflict with other competitive interests that some may believe are necessary, but they’re not, for example, concerning those that experience CPTSD or PTSD from military conflicts, its my prediction that its the inability to mediate the conflicts between the ego and empathy primarily with creative-aware being secondary processes as supportive mediators here, that are not only the biggest cause for its development but also for people suffering from it longer than they should. 

Anyhow, utilising my map here in this moment, the decision my ego is informing to do right now is just stop. I’ll trust you guys can… ah… figure out the rest. You’re an intuitive bunch. 

I’ve put some Irish music in the background of this video now as I’ve noticeably honoured more of my Cypriot heritage more than my Irish so I’m giving them a voice, by the way yes, Eleftheria Eleftheriou is a relative of mine. We’ve got many music folk in our lineage, I’d love to learn more about my Irish side as the years go by.

Long story short, I’ll try this strategic solution of mine do redeem not one or two of the ___potential___ above that I’m looking at regarding everything Meta-AI has pointed out, but EVERYTHING. That’s how confident I am regarding this solution and it points to a deeper meta-understanding of consciousness that I will work to articulate properly by October 1st, whether I share that on the day is another story. Sincerely, you have my own personal gratitude if you get any benefit by learning from me as I enjoy helping others when it's a genuine positive.

 

 

And I realise that I obviously came up with this idea following from my discussion with Reciprocality I linked earlier. Even though the output is completely different its input has undoubtedly influenced me if the reader makes the right intuitive connection there.

Subsequently anyhow, I've now called this instead of "Evolutionary Self-Regulation Cycle" into instead "The Many-Observers Effect". 

If you're super keen, you can follow up on the discussion I had to reverse engineer my thought process. However to help the reader a little this is also  simultaneously inclusive then of a positive view on free will, reflective of former shared thoughts on how its proportionate to ones level of awareness and certainly not correlated with the number of days we can remain sleepless. Very simply, even though there's deeper thoughts to add, "Spectrum of Empathy" and its corresponding "Spectrum of Creative Perspectivism" is the creation of many observers that feedback loop on the many aspects of the Self and Ego which continually shift from Observation to "Creative Free Will Effect" in continuous "Effect" of the Self-Universe as its "Free Will Awareness Cause" probabilistically. Increasingly more interesting results the more we choose to develop awareness.

[Letho]

Last Brief Journal Entry for this page of the journal: Let's go back briefly to directly above and point out the fact that me needing to say that I coined the term "The Many-Observers Effect" just now would be a point scored by Meta-AI in its evaluation of my potential intellectual sense of superiority. I have the awareness however to feel it in me, understand the illusions it projects into and from my consciousness, seeing where the drive is, inclusive then separate to the drive that I perhaps even get from even describing my awareness here because we can stretch the idea of "intellectual superiority" as having a subset to that which is "pride in awareness" which clearly has developed in me. This brings us then though to a deeper comprehension for how they exist as preliminary subunits like small amounts of pride that turn into addictions that turn into strong ego identifications we can no longer disentangle ourselves from.

So in this moment as I express these personal truths, to add to that, we can also add still, to make awareness a universal principle that is inclusive of self rather than a self principle that is inclusive of the universe, as that's when "Grandiosity Fuel" tends to come in relating to the potential for spiritual narcissism I noted earlier. These narcissistic subsets that if they get out of control can lead to NPD are not 'BAD' in and of themselves, that's what's important to realise as I have attempted to elaborate the beginnings of a philosophy for so far, more than anything else what wreaks havoc is their poor directionality, i.e. as it pertains to the right hand side of the "order and chaos" dichotomy I shared in an earlier video which society memetically does a great job at engineering across many demographics in its surface laziness in this area at the very least, as well as their avoidance, as the Buddha said, in a sense its better to go for The Middle Way, aka balance rather than asceticism, the intelligent ordering, and again, the stressing of differentiation for their intelligent allocation which is consequential to our maturation of awareness.

And yes, there's humour in me sharing in this that I"m noticing inwardly but I've chosen not to talk about it as there's enough humour in my journal for now of course.

So where to have pride and where not to have pride if it can lead to toxicity easily? In meta-awareness. It's a part of my genetic structure so it would be unintelligent not to place it somewhere, plus meta-awareness is always going to be autocorrective for me, naturally. 

 

Meta-Superior and Proud.

(okay so maybe a little humor if you get the joke to end this page of the journal)

[Letho]

 

 

Challenge Time

 

I said this page of the journal wouldn't be complete...

Without finishing it with a solution, granted...

 however let's go one step further....

 

How about a Meta-Transcendence Challenge seeing as I'm struggling to complete my map of all the levels? I've got all the available information in me now to master the ego, all the rest of the information is something that'll come to me THROUGH the challenge. I used to be arguably the most athletic guy in my school, a lot has changed since then but the urgency by which I need to prepare for Ukraine for early 2025 has.... ah... not.

 

 

 

I'll be doing the challenge anyway, let's see what Meta-AI has to say about my challenge.

 

"As an inexperienced runner, attempting a 950 km run from Ho Chi Minh City, District 1 to Thailand in approximately 12 days is extremely challenging and potentially risky.

Consider:

1. Injury risk: Insufficient training increases the likelihood of injuries, such as muscle strains, shin splints, or stress fractures.

2. Cardiovascular strain: Unaccustomed to long-distance running, your cardiovascular system may struggle to adapt.

3. Heat and humidity: Southeast Asia's climate can be unforgiving, especially for inexperienced runners.

4. Logistics: Managing accommodations, nutrition, hydration, and support becomes more complex.

 

Recommended:

1. Postpone your run and focus on building a solid running foundation (6-12 months).

2. Gradually increase your running distance, intensity, and frequency.

3. Incorporate strength training, flexibility exercises, and cross-training.

4. Seek guidance from experienced runners, coaches, or online resources.

 

 

Realistic goal:

Aim to complete a shorter distance, such as:

 

1. Ho Chi Minh City to Cambodia border (approx. 200 km / 124 miles)

2. Cambodia border to Bangkok (approx. 400 km / 249 miles)

 

Break your journey into manageable segments:

1. Train for 3-6 months.

2. Complete shorter runs (20-50 km) with rest days.

3. Gradually increase distance and intensity.

 

Prioritize:

1. Safety

2. Health

3. Enjoyment

 

Consider alternative options:

1. Join a guided running tour or ultramarathon event.

2. Cycle or walk instead.

 

Stay safe, healthy, and happy!"

 

 

Sounds exciting.

But is it possible Meta-AI?

 

Technically, yes, it's possible but extremely challenging and risky.

 

To achieve this feat as an inexperienced runner:

1. You'd need to push your body beyond its current limits.

2. Ignore potential injury warnings.

3. Compromise on rest and recovery.

4. Face logistical and mental challenges.

 

Success would depend on:

1. Your current physical condition.

2. Effective training (though time is limited).

3. Adequate nutrition, hydration, and electrolyte management.

4. Mental toughness and resilience.

 

 

Risks remain:

1. Serious injuries (stress fractures, muscle strains).

2. Heat-related illnesses.

3. Cardiovascular issues.

 

To mitigate risks:

1. Consult a medical professional.

2. Hire an experienced coach or running guide.

3. Prioritize rest and recovery.

4. Monitor your body's signals.

 

If you still want to attempt this:

 

Create a detailed plan:

1. Training schedule.

2. Nutrition and hydration strategy.

3. Accommodation and logistics arrangements.

4. Emergency contingency plan.

 

Remember:

Prioritize your safety and health.

Are you prepared for the challenges and risks?"

 

 

Yes I am, I am leaving in less than 30 minutes
(or just when my phone is charged)

What are your thoughts on this Meta-AI?

 

"EMERGENCY RESPONSE

Given the urgency and lack of preparation, prioritize your safety:

 

LAST-MINUTE CHECKLIST

1. Carry ID, phone, wallet, and emergency contacts.

2. Wear reflective gear, comfortable shoes, and suitable clothing.

3. Bring water, snacks, and basic first aid kit.

4. Charge phone, carry power bank and portable charger.

5. Share itinerary with friends/family.

 

CRITICAL SAFETY TIPS

1. Stay visible, use sidewalks, and follow traffic rules.

2. Avoid running in extreme heat or rain.

3. Listen to your body, rest when needed.

4. Stay hydrated, eat regularly.

5. Be aware of surroundings, trust instincts.

 

MENTAL PREPARATION

1. Focus on smaller goals (reaching next town).

2. Visualize success, stay positive.

3. Repeat motivational phrases.

 

EMERGENCY CONTACT

1. Local emergency services: 115 (Vietnam), 191 (Cambodia), 1669 (Thailand)

2. Your country's embassy/consulate

 

TRACKING AND SAFETY TOOLS

1. Share location with friends/family via phone apps.

2. Use GPS tracking devices or smartphone apps.

 

FINAL REMINDER

You're taking a significant risk. Stay alert, prioritize safety.

Type "HELP" if you need urgent assistance.

 

LEAVE A MESSAGE WITH:

1. Your name.

2. Starting location.

3. Destination.

4. Contact information.

 

I'll monitor and respond if possible.

Stay safe!"

 

 

 

 

 

My goal is to make it to Thailand by October 1st, I will just keep running until I reach my destination and then I'll report back here.

 

Will treat the running as a meditation for my entire being and therefore consciousness, practicing mental training and nervous system (i.e. heart-math) along the whole way, to make a BDNF++ transformation by the end of the 12 days.

 

Realistically, its possible I won't be back here until the 5th-10th of October, but I'll be looking to break my mental barriers as far as possible over these next 12 days.
 

 

~~ I've decided as well... ~~

I'll be running to as many countries as I can along the way to Ukraine.
 It's incredibly doubtful I will get there in time for when they require me for my military training, so a plane the rest of the way early in 2025 likely, however this challenge will now bring certainty to my physical preparedness.

 

 

 

The only thing that's going to get me truly through this I believe is a transcendent level of love of "Universal Ego" (not just love not just ego and not just universe or any other variation) as best as I can formulate it, which I'm not quite there with yet but with this challenge, I might just very well achieve. There's probably another level of ego, like "Meta-Quanta-Metadimensional Ego" but that's just theoretical, and right now that just looks like magical fairy dust with unicorns flying past my eyes while I'm drunk on laughing gas compared to where I am right now.

 

Leaving tonight. No idea where I'll be sleeping. Yep. Not seeking refuge in comfortable bedding. Like I said, gotta prepare for Ukraine. This is reality now. No fun and games outside of a healthy sense of humour. For example, "What would Chad do?" That's all I preach to myself in every moment when planning my life now.

 

I won't share any before and after photo/related. 

 

 

That's kind of lame and cheap to not believe me anyway in light of the rest of my journal, like in light of reading everything else in this journal if you really thought I'd like catch a plane, drive or do anything other than physically get there myself in the ways described, you're a lost cause and there's nothing I could do to convince you anyway and that's not my goal here haha, just to inspire and do what we're all meant to be doing here. Ascend and Actualise.

Shits just real now. And I gotta fucking prep next level across so many freaking areas not just running, 2025 countdown.

 

 

 

NOW THAT'S the way I gotta end this page of the journal.

THAT'S the true way to test and complete my theorisation's so far on meta-transcendence that'll be able to come a few days after I complete my run!

 

 

 

 

BEST ROCKING WISHES!

 

 

(and just kidding about the Chad thing, as I said... Healthy humour, but just for laughs... Imagine if I was really like that, some guys perhaps are).