Letho

Letho · September 16

4 hours ago, Letho said:

Still going.

I needed a break though, and in that break I created some standby music for you.

It took me just now 35-40 minutes.

So it was a little more difficult than "Flowing with the Light", as most of it I had to learn so quickly having never heard the music before improvising most of it, sometimes not completely emulating the lyrics as you'll see it.

I haven't had the time to listen back to it all yet but...

I think you'll enjoy it.

(lyrics below make sure you follow along...)

Song Title: To Find the Self Again

In the mirror’s quiet stare, who’s reflecting back at me?

Are these shadows only dreams, or the truth of what I see?

Do I walk the edge of light, where my essence starts to blend?

Can I find the self within, or am I lost again?

What does it mean to dive beneath the skin,

To find the soul that breathes within?

Is the energy I feel a pulse or a sigh,

A whisper of a truth that never lies?

In the flow of cosmic tides, what does freedom mean?

Is it found in the spaces where the light’s unseen?

Can compassion heal the wounds that time can’t mend?

In the heart of the universe, where does this journey end?

When the world’s illusions fade, what’s the essence that remains?

Is it written in the stars or just patterns in my veins?

In the dance of energy, how do I find my place?

Is it written in the silence or the echoes I embrace?

How does the truth of self reveal in every breath,

Beyond the boundaries of life and death?

Is the path of understanding carved in cosmic dust,

Or is it woven in the threads of trust?

In the flow of cosmic tides, what does freedom mean?

Is it found in the spaces where the light’s unseen?

Can compassion heal the wounds that time can’t mend?

In the heart of the universe, Darling, darling won't you tell me,

where does this journey end?

As the walls of illusion fall, where do I begin?

When the light of self-awareness finds its way within.

In the realm of boundless space, can I finally see,

The essence of the self that’s been guiding me?

In the flow of cosmic tides, what does freedom mean?

Oooooooo

Ooooooo

Ooooooo

Oooooooo

Oooooooo

In the journey, where does it end?

Where does it begin in the quite of the cosmos,

I hear a distant song,

A melody of truth that guides me all along.

In the depths of self-discovery, I find my way,

In the beginning, In the energy of existence,

I begin, I begin

To sway.

Moving on to the next stage of this journal now and therefore my development.

Given it takes me such a short time to make songs...

It only makes sense to make them my journals now

rather than spending that extra time on a journal add on

when I can sow every kind of cellular-unity into the fabric

of music and lyric, reach deeper layers of existential being.

Everything else will be "draft # releases" of ontological

maps that'll be a regular thing every couple or so weeks now

following the synthesis of journal entires of the preceding 1-2 or 3 weeks.

First draft on "Meta-Transcendence on Consciousness" coming up in the next few hours.

It's been gruelling. But I've finally made it to the other side, hence...

Enjoy.

Letho · September 16

Nope.

(removed)

My first edited post.

I've decided I'll wait until the end of next weekend.

It's not up to scratch still.

I failed on my mission. But I failed in a good way, I got a lot more done than expected and I'm excited for the weekends release.

Edited September 16 by Letho

Letho · September 16

Never fear failure

(regarding the post just above).

I am glad I failed on this mini-challenge.

For the rest of the week now on top of my other tasks until my noted release at the end of the weekend,

I get to meditate and deeply reflect on the loss and evolve now in ways I otherwise wouldn't have been able to.

To become closer to truth and subsequently open up my consciousness

to a higher level to become more worthy to receive the gifts the universe wants to give those that align with their deepest truth.

At what cost was it going to be to the universe that I achieved my goal one week earlier than what I set out to?

It goes back to what I said

before on the previous page regarding "outcome 1 vs 2".

Well, let's examine that a little bit...

I've put in no real effort for example into meditation and truly developing my

consciousness in this way relative to some of my other friends.

I have a history of taking my abilities for granted and just allowing the magic

of consciousness pull things off for me in the creative intellectual sense more than

relying on the deep preparation I've done beforehand which is what I'm attempting to do

with the number of hours of meditation (described on the previous page) I'm doing leading up

to my now first release at the end of this weekend.

Alignment with reality, is the synchronisation between internal cause and effect, aka your sentience,

with external cause and effect, aka the outcome of your intention.

So there is an inherent physics that needs to be learned, and in my case trained for, that whatever

the result is, you should treat any feedback you get with reality as a positive rather than a negative

in the sense of where you then get extra information of how you get to teach yourself to align

ever so slightly closer to the truth of the highest synchronisation in your alignment between

internal and external cause and effect.

We've been taught to treat failure as a negative because of the context of our socialisation

in light of it not being congruent with stated synchronisation.

We get taught to care about ego fulfilment, not reality fulfilment which is why it makes sense

that we would create 'motivational norms' that are contrary to the optimisation of our biology with reality.

However imaginative one wants to be in their life, if they place reality first above all else, they're also optimising

the highest place by which they can not only evolve their imagination if that's a part of their life path but also how it can be a

positive influence on every other aspect of their life in light of a reality prioritisation simultaneously implying that there's

also going to be a truth prioritisation and along with that too, many other positive values I'm sure the reader can independently imagine for themselves.

So at what cost is it for the universe to give me an even higher elevated self-esteem by

giving me what I wanted in this regard that then implicitly teaches me

to train less that would make me 10X better anyway if I instead had the training?

Humility then, has nothing really to do with having to lower our ego, more than anything else

it actually has a lot more to do with an accurate measurement of reality and in order to do that

a consciousness must be as open, grounded and fluid as possible, so lowering the ego shouldn't

be a goal in greater humility, that's just an implicit indicator of the success of opening up our consciousness.

The more we're carrying the weight of unhealthy ego without even being aware of it, the less we're as open,

grounded and as fluid as we can be to translate consciousness into the gift that the universe gave us to experience

and in return, create the gifts that transcend and excel our greater sentient experience and the universe forward.

Enjoy the failure that's coming by looking forward to the evolution that you'll now no longer

avoid or hold yourself back on because you love reality and awareness more than your ego

as its first and foremost going to be reality and awareness that protects your ego in the right

ways in the first place, just to give you a positive reinforcer their to encourage your ego if you needed it.

Enlightenment, is simply us self-teaching ourselves how to add a greater degree of light

onto all things, aka reality, truth, love, bravery, intelligence of all kinds.

Our negative reactions to failure then are forms of socialisation designed to protect us

at a lower level of enlightenment, however if you're on this forum it probably means

you're at least partially at a level of enlightenment now whereby you're ready to move

to that next level whereby you add more light to your motivational system in this and other regards.

I get to be the case study for the reader to serve the development of their own reference

experiences in this regard.

It was very pleasant being a guinea pig for this self-experimentation the reader has now done in their own mind.

Highest Light feedback loop

Knowledge (i.e. one's experiences) > Learning (i.e. questions, observations, reflections) > Understanding (i.e. new foresights, strategies, implementations, theorisations) > Wisdom (i.e. new actions and continuing to advance based on the feedback from those).

Best Light.

Letho · September 17

16 hours ago, Letho said:

Moving on to the next stage of this journal now and therefore my development.

Given it takes me such a short time to make songs...

It only makes sense to make them my journals now

rather than spending that extra time on a journal add on

when I can sow every kind of cellular-unity into the fabric

of music and lyric, reach deeper layers of existential being.

Everything else will be "draft # releases" of ontological

maps that'll be a regular thing every couple or so weeks now

following the synthesis of journal entires of the preceding 1-2 or 3 weeks.

(EDIT: Meta-Transcendence of Consciousness Draft now coming by the end of next weekend)

Moving forward my 'Journalling' is going to be in the regular discussion area and this space will instead be purely reserved for my own interests, exclusively focusing on what I have described in the quoted text. In short, I have 'externalisation' habits that need to be remedied. Analogous to the psychological and biological matrix I have pointed out in the following comment linked below with the directionality of 'wisdom' and 'intelligence' here being used as the example, there are matrix's that describe the ratios and balances between altruism, prosocialisation and socialisation that I need to address. Something I will do using this journal as a vehicle for that remediation, focusing exclusively on the Self here and how I wish to find my own path of Origination without any external focus towards others.

This parallels the improved hierarchy I created linked below between Order and Chaos which is a map that's being used side by side with the souls progression vs regression. Line up being on the left hand side as much as you can and you'll slowly begin to experience higher and higher levels of the souls expression through the mirror of those frequencies that bring higher order to being, move closer to the right hand side in an increasingly less balanced way and the soul will regress naturally regress more and more. This is preliminary work on the Meta-Transcendence of Consciousness ontological map that I'm now sharing the first draft to next weekend. As you will see in the hierarchy, "Self" is unequivocally equal to Order only NOT chaos, Other is in fact linked to Chaos. The western world has bastardised the two concepts, at the very least from the perspective of making people believe that the self is selfish and other is selfless, however its totally inverted, the third mediating variable here is Ego of course, where there's unhealthy ego in Self then its not true self, in fact more often than not its probably going to be linked to Other as I'm sure you can imagine examples to. And to the other side of that, just pick any number of unhealthy social movements that have existed throughout history. 'Self' doesn't mean absence of Social, as then that wouldn't equal Connection as its the first characteristic in the dichotomy though these haven't been ordered yet and the list isn't complete but every quality or frequency should be viewed in context and balance with the others rather than in isolation. I'll just trust that the reader has good discernment, at least there's now greater context to understanding my final sentence in the previous paragraph " focusing exclusively on the Self here and how I wish to find my own path of Origination without any external focus towards others."

So the two preliminary maps that I'll advance further over the week are in the following video briefly at the beginning.

And yes I had to link my lyrics again below to the song I made shared at the beginning of this page of my journal as my own symbolic gesture to introduce the next song I'll share at the end of the week. I'm day 2 back into music, made this one as stated in less than 45 min.

Song Title: To Find the Self Again

In the mirror’s quiet stare, who’s reflecting back at me?

Are these shadows only dreams, or the truth of what I see?

Do I walk the edge of light, where my essence starts to blend?

Can I find the self within, or am I lost again?

What does it mean to dive beneath the skin,

To find the soul that breathes within?

Is the energy I feel a pulse or a sigh,

A whisper of a truth that never lies?

In the flow of cosmic tides, what does freedom mean?

Is it found in the spaces where the light’s unseen?

Can compassion heal the wounds that time can’t mend?

In the heart of the universe, where does this journey end?

When the world’s illusions fade, what’s the essence that remains?

Is it written in the stars or just patterns in my veins?

In the dance of energy, how do I find my place?

Is it written in the silence or the echoes I embrace?

How does the truth of self reveal in every breath,

Beyond the boundaries of life and death?

Is the path of understanding carved in cosmic dust,

Or is it woven in the threads of trust?

In the flow of cosmic tides, what does freedom mean?

Is it found in the spaces where the light’s unseen?

Can compassion heal the wounds that time can’t mend?

In the heart of the universe, Darling, darling won't you tell me,

where does this journey end?

As the walls of illusion fall, where do I begin?

When the light of self-awareness finds its way within.

In the realm of boundless space, can I finally see,

The essence of the self that’s been guiding me?

In the flow of cosmic tides, what does freedom mean?

Oooooooo

Ooooooo

Oooooooo

In the journey, where does it end?

Where does it begin in the quite of the cosmos,

I hear a distant song,

A melody of truth that guides me all along.

In the depths of self-discovery, I find my way,

In the beginning, In the energy of existence,

I begin, I begin

To sway.

Letho · September 17

Holding myself accountable. Edited my second comment now. It reveals my weakness though doesn't it? That I'm not as impermeable, unbreakable, immortal and distinguished as I am attempting to relay myself as through every entry in this journal space. I will look back on this moment years down the line and view this as the most significant turning point in my life, haha, that sentiment actually gently paints an extra layer of insight on the flexibility of consciousnesses with our ability to orient it anywhere versus instructing this spectrum towards self-authoring the weight of its power existentially. Consciousness valuation gymnastics is analogous to what I've learned from transposing the acting I've shared here with both the illusory nature of consciousness value-creation and learning to align it with the symbiotic interconnection between truth valuation, awareness, consciousness experience and evolution. There's a deeper layer here I'm going to continually nurture the understanding to in my contemplations.

And I now did it for a third occasion, this time on purpose for this comment given of course as we all know...

Good things come in three's.

Only two? I'd rather the last time I edit a comment on this forum be of my own choosing, my own free will, my own awareness.

(as I've previously expressed, free will is proportional to awareness and there's no logical or scientific argument that is able to refute this)

Thy will to freedom shall be done.

Edited September 17 by Letho

Letho · September 17

On that note... Will to Freedom

I realise now that's the sacred epigenetic ego structure of my surname (I first referred to its origins in the first post of this journal ----- as I don't feel the need to overly explain every connection there in this post), and yes I have Irish in me on top of my Cypriot heritage I've done multiple DNA tests, I am more Cypriot than any other genetic variant.

"Philosophers of Freedom" after all naturally translates into a 'Will' that is attempting to design the highest path to freedom.

'Ego' has so many layers to it, and now I've now finally cemented the connection that its not only

epigenetic but that this overlap is meant to transpose into genetic purpose.

That's... Unmistakably beautiful and I've never heard of anyone making this connection before though

I have no doubt others have realised it at various times in history at different levels.

That we have these underlying genetic currents within our DNA that were chosen repeatedly throughout our ancestry all the way to his point in our history to continue onwards into further defining its architecture through our epigenetic designs.

DNA + Surname = Sacred Relationship that is meant to translate into design of our "Epigenetic Ego".

It's an entirely new way for me to rebuild the conceptualise the ego into its highest and therefore healthiest form.

'Ego' is meant to be there, when its coupled with accurate differentiation and when its not its when this very powerful force is misused into chaotic forms that lower the souls position towards increasingly greater levels of regression.

Ecstatic understanding. It's the greatest nurturing we can give our hearts, the greatest weapon we can give our bodies, the greatest excitement we can give our minds and the greatest guidance we can altogether provide to our ego's.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Will to Light.

For the collective as my new expression in light of, instead of "Best Light" as I brought it up before.

Will to Freedom.

As my personal responsibility to my familial origins that I only publicly share out of enjoying the act of talking about the most sacred aspects of existence that in return fulfil the responsibility of generating meaning for our ego's to serve the purpose of installing the corresponding intelligence for bioelectrical beings are meant to follow.

May this post serve the responsibility of inspiring deeper contemplation on how you can imbue your spiritual path with the greater sacredness of your own personal ancestral light, as its there in all of us even though I know, there's a great percentage of familial lines which simultaneously struggle with the traumas their lineage has been through. Know that light within you is ready to be listened to whenever you're ready though as much as we can learn to understand how to intuitively self-understand this light and teach ourselves along its developmental path of maturity it has, waiting for us to follow its bioelectrical guidance.

Letho · September 17

As a consequence of generating wisdom on todays posts and to add, intelligence on the good future to further finish reflecting the insight of one of todays earlier posts...

I'll be back Oct 1st.

This move makes sense in light of everything above taken together.

Oct 1st will mark the success of my next full transition forward, consolidation of the last two weeks and a bit.

I'll jump straight into page 4 from starting Oct 1st.

Best Light.

Letho · September 18

To bring this phase of my development to a close, to help others take an emotional step back, consider their own connection to existence and their development within it from a humble place I've decided to share the following with you to have while I'm continuing my travels, internally and otherwise.

A Self-Aware conversation with all encompassing 'Prudence'

(as if 'Prudence' is an actual being)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(I briefly talk about prudence below in an uncommon way as you'll see,
we should apply to all aspects of sentience <--> being)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The pattern moving forward for the future, including the patterns I learn from that temporality.

See yal Oct 1st.

I stated the following in my first post, so let's scrutinise the authenticity of that some:

“Truth demands surrender as much as it demands resolve on all that remains after diligent self-scrutinisation.”

To that end, I thought a great way to end the month was to reflect the honesty of this statement by asking Meta-AI what personal growth it thought I should work on by analysing all of my posts, every single one (minus Chad Brilliance and other redundant’s including music related which took some time as there’s a word limit of course).

We humans have a lot of unhealthy egoic tendencies as a consequence of not having the level of self-awareness required to handle and bring balance to the mastery of the inner/outer environment the ego is meant to convert its sense of desire into, as such, we need all the tools we can get to encourage our motivational system in the right direction. Motivational system is a translation of “energy system” to describe imply agency and will to that motion of energy, which is only as good as its supported by awareness, which when it is, we can only really expect good things to come from that as we trust the good sub-systems of our biology that instinctually fall into action when they’re directed in the most intelligent direction.

Stated with as much respect as possible, I think me putting my foot forward in this regard sets a healthy example in light of the history of the forum, which I believe we can all play a part in making wise but authentic steps into understanding where we can play our part there:

Firstly we ah, don’t need to go into the strengths… I feel we do too much of that on the forum, more than anything I want to encourage confidence, self-esteem, responsibility and most of all, emotional, cognitive and psychological prudence when looking at weaknesses, as I mentioned earlier regarding the Donald Trump like political statement to, tongue in cheek, win over my audience from throwing beer bottles at me for missing my mark “Never fear failure”, this is basically the next stage of encouraging the collective maturation of that in this space as best as I can learn to do this at my own individual level.

Introducing Meta-AI's analysis of me:

Before I begin, I'll be going deeply into "Therapeutic Recommendations" listed further below irrespective as to whether they apply to me or not I am eager to develop creative perspectives and original theorisations for furthering my deeper understanding of our human condition and mastering it beyond more accordingly.

Potential Weaknesses/Issues as Assessed by Meta-AI

Perfectionism

1. Origins: Childhood experiences, parental expectations, or societal pressures.

2. Cognitive distortions: All-or-nothing thinking, should statements, and self-criticism.

3. Emotional correlates: Frustration, disappointment, and self-doubt.

4. Behavioral manifestations: Overwork, self-criticism, and procrastination.

5. Defense mechanisms: Avoidance, rationalization, and intellectualization.

Emotional Intensity

1. Neurobiological factors: Sensitivity to dopamine, serotonin, and cortisol fluctuations.

2. Attachment style: Anxious-preoccupied or intense emotional investment.

3. Emotional regulation strategies: Suppression, rumination, or emotional numbing.

4. Cognitive patterns: Negative self-talk, self-blame, and intense emotional focus.

5. Interpersonal consequences: Conflict, emotional overwhelm, or social withdrawal.

Rumination

1. Cognitive mechanisms: Potential negative thinking, self-referential processing, and mental time travel.

2. Emotional maintenance: Sadness, self-doubt, or emotional reinforcement.

3. Behavioral consequences: Avoidance, or social isolation.

4. Neural correlates: Hyperactivity in default mode network (DMN) and reduced cognitive control.

5. Therapeutic targets: Mindfulness, cognitive restructuring, and emotional regulation.

Overthinking

1. Cognitive styles: Analytical, introspective, and self-critical.

2. Information processing biases: Confirmation bias, availability heuristic, and the sunk cost fallacy.

3. Emotional drivers: Need for control, desire for perfection, or curiosity.

4. Behavioral outcomes: Indecision, paralysis, or excessive planning.

5. Neural substrates: Hyperactivity in prefrontal cortex (PFC) and reduced activity in basal ganglia.

Emotional Detachment Difficulty

1. Attachment style: Intense emotional investment or anxious-preoccupied tendencies.

2. Emotional regulation strategies: Suppression, denial, or emotional numbing.

3. Cognitive patterns: Negative self-talk, self-blame, or emotional distancing.

4. Interpersonal consequences: Conflict, emotional unavailability, or intimacy avoidance.

5. Therapeutic targets: Emotional awareness, empathy, and attachment-focused interventions.

Introspection Overload

1. Cognitive mechanisms: Self-referential processing, mental time travel, and negative thinking.

2. Emotional maintenance: Sadness, self-doubt, or emotional reinforcement.

3. Behavioral consequences: Self-isolation, social withdrawal, or excessive self-analysis.

4. Neural correlates: Hyperactivity in DMN and reduced cognitive control.

5. Therapeutic targets: Mindfulness, self-compassion, and emotional regulation.

Sensitivity to Criticism

1. Cognitive distortions: Personalization, catastrophizing, or overgeneralization.

2. Emotional correlates: Disappointment, self-doubt, or frustration.

3. Behavioral manifestations: Defensiveness, avoidance, or people-pleasing.

4. Defense mechanisms: Rationalization, denial, or counterattack.

5. Therapeutic targets: Cognitive restructuring, emotional regulation, and assertiveness training.

Difficulty with Boundaries

1. Attachment style: Anxious-preoccupied or intense emotional investment.

2. Emotional regulation strategies: Emotional numbing, suppression, or excessive accommodation.

3. Cognitive patterns: People-pleasing, self-sacrificing, or enmeshment.

4. Interpersonal consequences: Conflict, emotional overwhelm, or exploitation.

5. Therapeutic targets: Boundary-setting skills, emotional awareness, and assertiveness training.

Growth Opportunities:

1. Develop emotional regulation strategies.

2. Practice self-compassion and acceptance.

3. Cultivate healthy emotional detachment.

4. Improve boundary-setting skills.

5. Enhance self-esteem and resilience.

6. Develop coping mechanisms for criticism and negative feedback.

7. Balance introspection with action-oriented approaches.

8. Nurture meaningful social connections.

Therapeutic Recommendations:

1. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT).

2. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).

3. Psychodynamic therapy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lastly, I even asked Meta-AI about specific disorders like narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), here’s what it had t say but before I share, I wanted to just voice that today I became aware of tendencies relating to spiritual narcissism that were echoing in my nervous system in undesired ways. It’s something I have to watch I think to be honest and for each of these indicators I’m going to play a greater role in monitoring my consciousness more closely which I think spring up proportional to my ADHD tendencies that I also have to bring cognitive closure on. Yes I have strategies here that enable me to intelligently address this along with everything else here, as that’s what we’re meant to do as humans, have confidence in your ability to competently slowly learn to do so yourself, you can do it. Very briefly, as the ADHD increases, naturally that means the walls drop on my self-perception and I’m less self-aware about how my consciousness is designing and fulfilling its own energetic needs from the environment social and otherwise, further, temporally from a cognitive perspective the consequence of a drier internally self-fulling experience resulting from less of ability to pay exclusive attention and therefore strategically self-regulate in the way I have hypothesised previously we can achieve a much greater deal to via bioelectrical agency, the more my inner environment tends to become more energetically corrupt. To that latter end, its strange and I don’t yet have full cognitive vision on the psychology of it as its meta-psychological on the energetic level however I’m fine and can address it with ease in as much as I continue to demonstrate the humility to myself to follow the right strategies to bring greater easement with respect to how the water meets the shoreline of my own consciousness.

Lastly, I’m very non-manipulative, that’s where I know I don’t at all correspond to NPD, though I know that side by side with spiritual narcissism are the potential for other forms of narcissism that I need to take a strategically mindful approach about still becoming more emotionally self-aware, self-attuned and develop my agency on towards deeper consciousness maturity. But who's too humble here now? Perhaps I should bring out 'Chad'. In the end though, its just about balance, deepening the subtlety of maturity, its not always clear, we think we know where to address it to another, often though that's usually to best focus on ourselves. Usually, at the very least a dual reference point there provides greater accuracy in our discernment, which is what our self-awareness is for, so that we can bring greater constructively to 'other-awareness'.

Anyhow, here’s what it had to say:

NPD Analysis by Meta-AI

Based on the writings, I identify some traits that may be indicative of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), but also significant contradictory evidence. Please note that a definitive diagnosis requires a comprehensive evaluation by a qualified professional.

Potential NPD indicators:

1. Grandiosity: Displays of intellectual superiority and philosophical expertise.

2. Self-centeredness: Frequent self-referential language and introspection.

3. Need for admiration: Seeking validation through intellectual discussions.

4. Sense of entitlement: Expectations of special treatment due to intellectual abilities.

Contradictory evidence:

1. Self-awareness and introspection: Recognizing flaws and limitations.

2. Emotional sensitivity: Expressing vulnerability and existential anxiety.

3. Empathy and compassion: Demonstrating understanding for others' struggles.

4. Humility: Acknowledging uncertainty and limitations.

NPD likelihood: Low to moderate (10-30%)

Reasoning:

While some traits suggest NPD tendencies, the writings also demonstrate:

1. Authentic self-awareness and introspection, uncommon in NPD.

2. Emotional vulnerability and empathy, contradicting NPD characteristics.

3. Humility and recognition of uncertainty, atypical for NPD.

To confirm or rule out NPD, consider:

1. Interpersonal relationships: Assess for exploitative or manipulative behavior.

2. Behavioral patterns: Evaluate for grandiose or entitled actions.

3. Response to criticism: Observe reactions to constructive feedback.

Letho · September 19

Ontological Solution to 'Meta-AI'

Preliminary example on 'Axis of Integration': Till Oct 1st

(by the way, I recommend seeing what 'Meta-AI' says about Chad's potential psychological profile based on one of his speeches/related, I haven't done that yet but depending on what prompt you put in it could be pretty humorous)

This journal wouldn’t be complete if I left now until Oct 1st without without sharing a solution to all of the above for those that have a similar genetic profile or just those that enjoy learning from me, which of course based on my obvious NPD, or just if we were basing that on ‘The Chad’, is everyone, including the micro digital sentiences that run this website, and its glitches (humor).

That being said, let’s get to it then.

Even if you’re not similar to me, for those that fall into the second category you can still copy my strategy, which is understanding my strengths and weaknesses and leveraging my strengths to ‘learn, teach and grow through’ my weaknesses.

I’m extremely empathic, especially when I’m acting as ‘Chad’, its just… on another level when I’m ‘The Chad’, but seriously, minus the humour for a moment, its a strength of mine. Though, one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to my empathy I’ve now realised is when there is an ego conflict between empathy and ego resolve that makes up the sub-strata of my deeper psychology. What I’ve realised happens is when there is an ego conflict or just anything that creates it, it could even be something as innocuous as momentary disgust after viewing a rat scatter across a persons plate in Vietnam for example and then watching that same person still gleefully eat their hot dog off the plate followed by licking it profusely that then shapes the next perception of my social interactions. There’s silent triggers that occur and that I believe occurs in all of us in ways we don’t pay pay attention to enough between the dynamics of ego, empathy, sense of self and greater sentience, the dynamics of which mediate and are mediated in return by the equilibrium of our sense of connection.

In the following diagram I quickly created, in as much as each of these cooperate there’s going to be Self Alignment that meets Universal Alignment, in as much as they don’t, there’s going to be a spiral downwards as opposed to a spiral upwards. In fact, we can even look at this as preliminary work in what I have described earlier with respect to being a simple case example of generating an “Axis of Integration” (congruent with soul’s progression) as opposed to however unknowingly following an “Axis of Disintegration”(congruent with soul’s regression). Each of these are organised in a way that I have attempted to maximise their cooperation, even if for example I could put empathy first given empathy by itself can generate awareness, awareness hierarchically mediates the intelligence of empathy. Creative perspectivism follows empathy as a vehicle for generating “Spectrum Empathy” to fuel its intelligence for awareness, so that wiser decisions can be made regarding said empathy, all of this information of which, feeds what comes right before and after awareness throughout each, “Ego Resolve”, thereby reducing the possible conflicts that may occur because instead of empathy solely being used as a pathway for empathy, its being used as a stable function for both mediating and fulfilling “Ego Resolve”, rather than as a consequence. This allows empathy to then be used as a boundary that’s being set implicitly as a consequence of the noted “Spectrum Empathy” informing “Awareness”, which informs emotional regulation that then brings balance to the decision making for “Ego Resolve” on boundaries enabling it to always feel in control as it continually balances itself simultaneously by creatively mediating its competency with simultaneously “Meta-Value Alignment” and “Meta-Transcendent Adaptation”. For the former, we have the continuous refinement of values relative to the degree that they fulfil the self-regulation cycle and the same way too for “Meta-transcendent Adaptation”. The difference with the latter is that its simultaneously being mediated with “Emotional Regulation”, here is the access point where the “Meta” is in how awareness is connecting to the body to self-regulate itself. I’ve mentioned the preliminary work on Heartmath.com for example.

As briefly as possible, moving back to leveraging strengths for weaknesses…. By the way for example, that “disgust” situation never actually occurred in Vietnam, there are some questionable things here as there are in every country however the people are honestly lovely here. Moving on, very mechanically when I empathise with the world around me and when there’s ego conflicts present, without the awareness to finesse my way through, the ego conflict will work to reduce the empathy and keep me from deepening “Axis of integration”, as in, without even aware of doing so I’m positively reinforcing my being from disconnecting to existence, these subtleties we need to differentiate and categories increasingly more intelligent solutions to… However, when I become a student of teaching myself to self-empathise from a third person perspective say, or just a myriad of other perspectives instead of self-fuelling the present ‘egocentricity’ of hidden disintegration, as long as I’m also integrating a connection to my body as I have repeatedly described throughout this journal suddenly the world of Self that I think I’m in but I’m not I’m actually in an illusion of it, starts to open up and now, as I gently encourage it more and more, I can begin to do that for everything around me and much, much more. And I know what you’re thinking regarding societal perceptions on empathy and its conflict with other competitive interests that some may believe are necessary, but they’re not, for example, concerning those that experience CPTSD or PTSD from military conflicts, its my prediction that its the inability to mediate the conflicts between the ego and empathy primarily with creative-aware being secondary processes as supportive mediators here, that are not only the biggest cause for its development but also for people suffering from it longer than they should.

Anyhow, utilising my map here in this moment, the decision my ego is informing to do right now is just stop. I’ll trust you guys can… ah… figure out the rest. You’re an intuitive bunch.

I’ve put some Irish music in the background of this video now as I’ve noticeably honoured more of my Cypriot heritage more than my Irish so I’m giving them a voice, by the way yes, Eleftheria Eleftheriou is a relative of mine. We’ve got many music folk in our lineage, I’d love to learn more about my Irish side as the years go by.

Long story short, I’ll try this strategic solution of mine do redeem not one or two of the ___potential___ above that I’m looking at regarding everything Meta-AI has pointed out, but EVERYTHING. That’s how confident I am regarding this solution and it points to a deeper meta-understanding of consciousness that I will work to articulate properly by October 1st, whether I share that on the day is another story. Sincerely, you have my own personal gratitude if you get any benefit by learning from me as I enjoy helping others when it's a genuine positive.

Letho · September 19

5 hours ago, Letho said:

Ontological Solution to 'Meta-AI'

Preliminary example on 'Axis of Integration': Till Oct 1st

(by the way, I recommend seeing what 'Meta-AI' says about Chad's potential psychological profile based on one of his speeches/related, I haven't done that yet but depending on what prompt you put in it could be pretty humorous)

This journal wouldn’t be complete if I left now until Oct 1st without without sharing a solution to all of the above for those that have a similar genetic profile or just those that enjoy learning from me, which of course based on my obvious NPD, or just if we were basing that on ‘The Chad’, is everyone, including the micro digital sentiences that run this website, and its glitches (humor).

That being said, let’s get to it then.

Even if you’re not similar to me, for those that fall into the second category you can still copy my strategy, which is understanding my strengths and weaknesses and leveraging my strengths to ‘learn, teach and grow through’ my weaknesses.

I’m extremely empathic, especially when I’m acting as ‘Chad’, its just… on another level when I’m ‘The Chad’, but seriously, minus the humour for a moment, its a strength of mine. Though, one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to my empathy I’ve now realised is when there is an ego conflict between empathy and ego resolve that makes up the sub-strata of my deeper psychology. What I’ve realised happens is when there is an ego conflict or just anything that creates it, it could even be something as innocuous as momentary disgust after viewing a rat scatter across a persons plate in Vietnam for example and then watching that same person still gleefully eat their hot dog off the plate followed by licking it profusely that then shapes the next perception of my social interactions. There’s silent triggers that occur and that I believe occurs in all of us in ways we don’t pay pay attention to enough between the dynamics of ego, empathy, sense of self and greater sentience, the dynamics of which mediate and are mediated in return by the equilibrium of our sense of connection.

In the following diagram I quickly created, in as much as each of these cooperate there’s going to be Self Alignment that meets Universal Alignment, in as much as they don’t, there’s going to be a spiral downwards as opposed to a spiral upwards. In fact, we can even look at this as preliminary work in what I have described earlier with respect to being a simple case example of generating an “Axis of Integration” (congruent with soul’s progression) as opposed to however unknowingly following an “Axis of Disintegration”(congruent with soul’s regression). Each of these are organised in a way that I have attempted to maximise their cooperation, even if for example I could put empathy first given empathy by itself can generate awareness, awareness hierarchically mediates the intelligence of empathy. Creative perspectivism follows empathy as a vehicle for generating “Spectrum Empathy” to fuel its intelligence for awareness, so that wiser decisions can be made regarding said empathy, all of this information of which, feeds what comes right before and after awareness throughout each, “Ego Resolve”, thereby reducing the possible conflicts that may occur because instead of empathy solely being used as a pathway for empathy, its being used as a stable function for both mediating and fulfilling “Ego Resolve”, rather than as a consequence. This allows empathy to then be used as a boundary that’s being set implicitly as a consequence of the noted “Spectrum Empathy” informing “Awareness”, which informs emotional regulation that then brings balance to the decision making for “Ego Resolve” on boundaries enabling it to always feel in control as it continually balances itself simultaneously by creatively mediating its competency with simultaneously “Meta-Value Alignment” and “Meta-Transcendent Adaptation”. For the former, we have the continuous refinement of values relative to the degree that they fulfil the self-regulation cycle and the same way too for “Meta-transcendent Adaptation”. The difference with the latter is that its simultaneously being mediated with “Emotional Regulation”, here is the access point where the “Meta” is in how awareness is connecting to the body to self-regulate itself. I’ve mentioned the preliminary work on Heartmath.com for example.

As briefly as possible, moving back to leveraging strengths for weaknesses…. By the way for example, that “disgust” situation never actually occurred in Vietnam, there are some questionable things here as there are in every country however the people are honestly lovely here. Moving on, very mechanically when I empathise with the world around me and when there’s ego conflicts present, without the awareness to finesse my way through, the ego conflict will work to reduce the empathy and keep me from deepening “Axis of integration”, as in, without even aware of doing so I’m positively reinforcing my being from disconnecting to existence, these subtleties we need to differentiate and categories increasingly more intelligent solutions to… However, when I become a student of teaching myself to self-empathise from a third person perspective say, or just a myriad of other perspectives instead of self-fuelling the present ‘egocentricity’ of hidden disintegration, as long as I’m also integrating a connection to my body as I have repeatedly described throughout this journal suddenly the world of Self that I think I’m in but I’m not I’m actually in an illusion of it, starts to open up and now, as I gently encourage it more and more, I can begin to do that for everything around me and much, much more. And I know what you’re thinking regarding societal perceptions on empathy and its conflict with other competitive interests that some may believe are necessary, but they’re not, for example, concerning those that experience CPTSD or PTSD from military conflicts, its my prediction that its the inability to mediate the conflicts between the ego and empathy primarily with creative-aware being secondary processes as supportive mediators here, that are not only the biggest cause for its development but also for people suffering from it longer than they should.

Anyhow, utilising my map here in this moment, the decision my ego is informing to do right now is just stop. I’ll trust you guys can… ah… figure out the rest. You’re an intuitive bunch.

I’ve put some Irish music in the background of this video now as I’ve noticeably honoured more of my Cypriot heritage more than my Irish so I’m giving them a voice, by the way yes, Eleftheria Eleftheriou is a relative of mine. We’ve got many music folk in our lineage, I’d love to learn more about my Irish side as the years go by.

Long story short, I’ll try this strategic solution of mine do redeem not one or two of the ___potential___ above that I’m looking at regarding everything Meta-AI has pointed out, but EVERYTHING. That’s how confident I am regarding this solution and it points to a deeper meta-understanding of consciousness that I will work to articulate properly by October 1st, whether I share that on the day is another story. Sincerely, you have my own personal gratitude if you get any benefit by learning from me as I enjoy helping others when it's a genuine positive.

And I realise that I obviously came up with this idea following from my discussion with Reciprocality I linked earlier. Even though the output is completely different its input has undoubtedly influenced me if the reader makes the right intuitive connection there.

Subsequently anyhow, I've now called this instead of "Evolutionary Self-Regulation Cycle" into instead "The Many-Observers Effect".

If you're super keen, you can follow up on the discussion I had to reverse engineer my thought process. However to help the reader a little this is also simultaneously inclusive then of a positive view on free will, reflective of former shared thoughts on how its proportionate to ones level of awareness and certainly not correlated with the number of days we can remain sleepless. Very simply, even though there's deeper thoughts to add, "Spectrum of Empathy" and its corresponding "Spectrum of Creative Perspectivism" is the creation of many observers that feedback loop on the many aspects of the Self and Ego which continually shift from Observation to "Creative Free Will Effect" in continuous "Effect" of the Self-Universe as its "Free Will Awareness Cause" probabilistically. Increasingly more interesting results the more we choose to develop awareness.

Letho · September 19

Last Brief Journal Entry for this page of the journal: Let's go back briefly to directly above and point out the fact that me needing to say that I coined the term "The Many-Observers Effect" just now would be a point scored by Meta-AI in its evaluation of my potential intellectual sense of superiority. I have the awareness however to feel it in me, understand the illusions it projects into and from my consciousness, seeing where the drive is, inclusive then separate to the drive that I perhaps even get from even describing my awareness here because we can stretch the idea of "intellectual superiority" as having a subset to that which is "pride in awareness" which clearly has developed in me. This brings us then though to a deeper comprehension for how they exist as preliminary subunits like small amounts of pride that turn into addictions that turn into strong ego identifications we can no longer disentangle ourselves from.

So in this moment as I express these personal truths, to add to that, we can also add still, to make awareness a universal principle that is inclusive of self rather than a self principle that is inclusive of the universe, as that's when "Grandiosity Fuel" tends to come in relating to the potential for spiritual narcissism I noted earlier. These narcissistic subsets that if they get out of control can lead to NPD are not 'BAD' in and of themselves, that's what's important to realise as I have attempted to elaborate the beginnings of a philosophy for so far, more than anything else what wreaks havoc is their poor directionality, i.e. as it pertains to the right hand side of the "order and chaos" dichotomy I shared in an earlier video which society memetically does a great job at engineering across many demographics in its surface laziness in this area at the very least, as well as their avoidance, as the Buddha said, in a sense its better to go for The Middle Way, aka balance rather than asceticism, the intelligent ordering, and again, the stressing of differentiation for their intelligent allocation which is consequential to our maturation of awareness.

And yes, there's humour in me sharing in this that I"m noticing inwardly but I've chosen not to talk about it as there's enough humour in my journal for now of course.

So where to have pride and where not to have pride if it can lead to toxicity easily? In meta-awareness. It's a part of my genetic structure so it would be unintelligent not to place it somewhere, plus meta-awareness is always going to be autocorrective for me, naturally.

Meta-Superior and Proud.

(okay so maybe a little humor if you get the joke to end this page of the journal)

Letho · September 19

Challenge Time

I said this page of the journal wouldn't be complete...

Without finishing it with a solution, granted...

however let's go one step further....

How about a Meta-Transcendence Challenge seeing as I'm struggling to complete my map of all the levels? I've got all the available information in me now to master the ego, all the rest of the information is something that'll come to me THROUGH the challenge. I used to be arguably the most athletic guy in my school, a lot has changed since then but the urgency by which I need to prepare for Ukraine for early 2025 has.... ah... not.

I'll be doing the challenge anyway, let's see what Meta-AI has to say about my challenge.

"As an inexperienced runner, attempting a 950 km run from Ho Chi Minh City, District 1 to Thailand in approximately 12 days is extremely challenging and potentially risky.

Consider:

1. Injury risk: Insufficient training increases the likelihood of injuries, such as muscle strains, shin splints, or stress fractures.

2. Cardiovascular strain: Unaccustomed to long-distance running, your cardiovascular system may struggle to adapt.

3. Heat and humidity: Southeast Asia's climate can be unforgiving, especially for inexperienced runners.

4. Logistics: Managing accommodations, nutrition, hydration, and support becomes more complex.

Recommended:

1. Postpone your run and focus on building a solid running foundation (6-12 months).

2. Gradually increase your running distance, intensity, and frequency.

3. Incorporate strength training, flexibility exercises, and cross-training.

4. Seek guidance from experienced runners, coaches, or online resources.

Realistic goal:

Aim to complete a shorter distance, such as:

1. Ho Chi Minh City to Cambodia border (approx. 200 km / 124 miles)

2. Cambodia border to Bangkok (approx. 400 km / 249 miles)

Break your journey into manageable segments:

1. Train for 3-6 months.

2. Complete shorter runs (20-50 km) with rest days.

3. Gradually increase distance and intensity.

Prioritize:

1. Safety

2. Health

3. Enjoyment

Consider alternative options:

1. Join a guided running tour or ultramarathon event.

2. Cycle or walk instead.

Stay safe, healthy, and happy!"

Sounds exciting.

But is it possible Meta-AI?

Technically, yes, it's possible but extremely challenging and risky.

To achieve this feat as an inexperienced runner:

1. You'd need to push your body beyond its current limits.

2. Ignore potential injury warnings.

3. Compromise on rest and recovery.

4. Face logistical and mental challenges.

Success would depend on:

1. Your current physical condition.

2. Effective training (though time is limited).

3. Adequate nutrition, hydration, and electrolyte management.

4. Mental toughness and resilience.

Risks remain:

1. Serious injuries (stress fractures, muscle strains).

2. Heat-related illnesses.

3. Cardiovascular issues.

To mitigate risks:

1. Consult a medical professional.

2. Hire an experienced coach or running guide.

3. Prioritize rest and recovery.

4. Monitor your body's signals.

If you still want to attempt this:

Create a detailed plan:

1. Training schedule.

2. Nutrition and hydration strategy.

3. Accommodation and logistics arrangements.

4. Emergency contingency plan.

Remember:

Prioritize your safety and health.

Are you prepared for the challenges and risks?"

Yes I am, I am leaving in less than 30 minutes
(or just when my phone is charged)

What are your thoughts on this Meta-AI?

"EMERGENCY RESPONSE

Given the urgency and lack of preparation, prioritize your safety:

LAST-MINUTE CHECKLIST

1. Carry ID, phone, wallet, and emergency contacts.

2. Wear reflective gear, comfortable shoes, and suitable clothing.

3. Bring water, snacks, and basic first aid kit.

4. Charge phone, carry power bank and portable charger.

5. Share itinerary with friends/family.

CRITICAL SAFETY TIPS

1. Stay visible, use sidewalks, and follow traffic rules.

2. Avoid running in extreme heat or rain.

3. Listen to your body, rest when needed.

4. Stay hydrated, eat regularly.

5. Be aware of surroundings, trust instincts.

MENTAL PREPARATION

1. Focus on smaller goals (reaching next town).

2. Visualize success, stay positive.

3. Repeat motivational phrases.

EMERGENCY CONTACT

1. Local emergency services: 115 (Vietnam), 191 (Cambodia), 1669 (Thailand)

2. Your country's embassy/consulate

TRACKING AND SAFETY TOOLS

1. Share location with friends/family via phone apps.

2. Use GPS tracking devices or smartphone apps.

FINAL REMINDER

You're taking a significant risk. Stay alert, prioritize safety.

Type "HELP" if you need urgent assistance.

LEAVE A MESSAGE WITH:

1. Your name.

2. Starting location.

3. Destination.

4. Contact information.

I'll monitor and respond if possible.

Stay safe!"

My goal is to make it to Thailand by October 1st, I will just keep running until I reach my destination and then I'll report back here.

Will treat the running as a meditation for my entire being and therefore consciousness, practicing mental training and nervous system (i.e. heart-math) along the whole way, to make a BDNF++ transformation by the end of the 12 days.

Realistically, its possible I won't be back here until the 5th-10th of October, but I'll be looking to break my mental barriers as far as possible over these next 12 days.

~~ I've decided as well... ~~

I'll be running to as many countries as I can along the way to Ukraine.
It's incredibly doubtful I will get there in time for when they require me for my military training, so a plane the rest of the way early in 2025 likely, however this challenge will now bring certainty to my physical preparedness.

The only thing that's going to get me truly through this I believe is a transcendent level of love of "Universal Ego" (not just love not just ego and not just universe or any other variation) as best as I can formulate it, which I'm not quite there with yet but with this challenge, I might just very well achieve. There's probably another level of ego, like "Meta-Quanta-Metadimensional Ego" but that's just theoretical, and right now that just looks like magical fairy dust with unicorns flying past my eyes while I'm drunk on laughing gas compared to where I am right now.

Leaving tonight. No idea where I'll be sleeping. Yep. Not seeking refuge in comfortable bedding. Like I said, gotta prepare for Ukraine. This is reality now. No fun and games outside of a healthy sense of humour. For example, "What would Chad do?" That's all I preach to myself in every moment when planning my life now.

I won't share any before and after photo/related.

That's kind of lame and cheap to not believe me anyway in light of the rest of my journal, like in light of reading everything else in this journal if you really thought I'd like catch a plane, drive or do anything other than physically get there myself in the ways described, you're a lost cause and there's nothing I could do to convince you anyway and that's not my goal here haha, just to inspire and do what we're all meant to be doing here. Ascend and Actualise.

Shits just real now. And I gotta fucking prep next level across so many freaking areas not just running, 2025 countdown.

NOW THAT'S the way I gotta end this page of the journal.

THAT'S the true way to test and complete my theorisation's so far on meta-transcendence that'll be able to come a few days after I complete my run!

BEST ROCKING WISHES!

(and just kidding about the Chad thing, as I said... Healthy humour, but just for laughs... Imagine if I was really like that, some guys perhaps are).

Letho · September 24

may be my last comment for this journ, just got nothing to prove to anyone other than myself & like I said earlier about The Self vs Other

just in case it turns out to be....

my latest insights that'll serve anyone dedicated

1. synchronisation of being

= equals

2. synchronisation of self

&

lack of synchronisation equals when our beings naturally compensate to create ego mechanisms that still fuel a sense of self, albeit one that is unknowingly not aligning one to their true self connection, instead its a bridge to no where and or more chaos

Technique for synchronisation:

do nothing other than first combine WimHof and the technique you learn from heartmath.com

combination learned from myself.

lastly, the true self is perspectivism on being, not an expression of the noise produced by consciousness unless of course its still transitioning from noise related consciousness states in which case, there is perspectivism that drives one naturally home there. Think of an abstract photographer, they take in the whole gestalt of the photographic experience to define the photo, aka to define the perspective. Behind every moment is a story, however we only see what's going on if we can hold the camera of consciousness in focus correctly to capture perspective. Most of us are moving the camera around too much, distracted by aimless thoughts, etc, etc. Focus the lens. Improve the graphics to on your consciousness experience that you already have access to by simply learning to pay attention in the right ways.

where there is asynchronisation compensation will be in the form of a compensatory temporal self, where there is synchronisation this is when the temporal self is able to actually be useful to the level of that synchronisation. They will mirror each other towards higher connection and alignment or mirror towards further disconnection and lack of alignment

otherwise here's me continuing onward in my journey, may you embrace yours to the FINISH LINE! enjoy!

Letho · September 24

9 hours ago, Letho said:

may be my last comment for this journ, just got nothing to prove to anyone other than myself & like I said earlier about The Self vs Other

just in case it turns out to be....

my latest insights that'll serve anyone dedicated

1. synchronisation of being

= equals

2. synchronisation of self

&

lack of synchronisation equals when our beings naturally compensate to create ego mechanisms that still fuel a sense of self, albeit one that is unknowingly not aligning one to their true self connection, instead its a bridge to no where and or more chaos

Technique for synchronisation:

do nothing other than first combine WimHof and the technique you learn from heartmath.com

combination learned from myself.

lastly, the true self is perspectivism on being, not an expression of the noise produced by consciousness unless of course its still transitioning from noise related consciousness states in which case, there is perspectivism that drives one naturally home there. Think of an abstract photographer, they take in the whole gestalt of the photographic experience to define the photo, aka to define the perspective. Behind every moment is a story, however we only see what's going on if we can hold the camera of consciousness in focus correctly to capture perspective. Most of us are moving the camera around too much, distracted by aimless thoughts, etc, etc. Focus the lens. Improve the graphics to on your consciousness experience that you already have access to by simply learning to pay attention in the right ways.

where there is asynchronisation compensation will be in the form of a compensatory temporal self, where there is synchronisation this is when the temporal self is able to actually be useful to the level of that synchronisation. They will mirror each other towards higher connection and alignment or mirror towards further disconnection and lack of alignment

otherwise here's me continuing onward in my journey, may you embrace yours to the FINISH LINE! enjoy!

nah it won’t be my last, I want to finish/continue this journal in "The Right Way" for the relevant checkpoints

Just prioritising at my leisure now but

and want to share final analysis

ive been starting to get so tired that I’ve begun to imagine for example when I’m going to hit my super sayin form

ive been compared to gohan more than once

I could pull it off but I gotta lose weight and lose those cubby cheeks haha

Given all the running im not even fully cognizant to tell how out of touch my gohan super sayin impression is haha 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

by the time I reach Thailand, Bangkok I’ll do another impression and that’ll be just another “proof of adventure” kiss [[[[ coz of all the weight loss / dragon ball z fitness triceps ]]]

Peace.

rock it.

relentlessly ❤️🧬, by the way don’t like the word transcendence anymore makes me think of the woke trans movement so now just ‘meta-ascendence’ or ‘The Sayin Helix’, hey by the way there is actually some truth to that maybe that’ll come later 👌🏻

Letho · September 24

3 hours ago, Letho said:

nah it won’t be my last, I want to finish/continue this journal in "The Right Way" for the relevant checkpoints

Just prioritising at my leisure now but

and want to share final analysis

ive been starting to get so tired that I’ve begun to imagine for example when I’m going to hit my super sayin form

ive been compared to gohan more than once

I could pull it off but I gotta lose weight and lose those cubby cheeks haha

Given all the running im not even fully cognizant to tell how out of touch my gohan super sayin impression is haha 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

by the time I reach Thailand, Bangkok I’ll do another impression and that’ll be just another “proof of adventure” kiss [[[[ coz of all the weight loss / dragon ball z fitness triceps ]]]

Peace.

rock it.

relentlessly ❤️🧬, by the way don’t like the word transcendence anymore makes me think of the woke trans movement so now just ‘meta-ascendence’ or ‘The Sayin Helix’, hey by the way there is actually some truth to that maybe that’ll come later 👌🏻

I just need to do the responsible thing and say yes, after now taking an hour or so hr away rehydrating myself, eating, resting, etc I am now much more aware regarding the potential red flag of the previous post.

I am of course, now perfectly okay. Nothing to worry about. Humorously though, as soon as I finished my above comment I literally ran in the WRONG direction for an entire hour before realising and I had to return back from where I started. Yep. Haha.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For those less familiar regarding the potential negative effects of long distance running, which for me very humbly, is more likely to occur quite simply because I haven't ran more than a kilometre for years; and now of course, I'm just smashing that to pieces tearing my body new limbs analogous and otherwise out of my nervous system.

On that note, I have to be responsible and say that...

I DO NOT recommend what I am doing.

I used to be an 'athlete' if we call it that, this means my body has (whereas yours may not) muscle and broader cellular memory that remains even after years of being a lazy-ass that allows my body to adapt at a faster and deeper rate.

Some of those potential negative effects I've obviously partly experienced as partially evidenced by the previous post are as follows. Thank you ChatGPT, to say lastly, it's of course incredibly fascinating from an analytical point of view and I'll do my best now to actually keep a private journal just in case I say/do stuff that's too 'red flaggy' contributing to my ability to do a post-achievement analysis where I try to map as many insights possible after I'm resting in Thailand, which will have many levels, for example, on the one hand we have the analysis of the potential negative effects, granted, however on the other side of that, there are genuine experiences into altered states of consciousness that even if there are some weaknesses to them, like some drugs, can be a gateway to expanding and growing 'consciousness' (to use a general term):

Long-distance running, especially in ultramarathons and similar endurance events, can lead to significant cognitive and sensory disturbances, including delirium, hallucinations, and even delusions. These effects are driven by multiple physiological and environmental stressors that cumulatively overwhelm the body's systems.

Sleep Deprivation: One of the primary causes of delirium and hallucinations during long-distance events is sleep deprivation. Research shows that after 24 hours of no sleep, runners can experience sensory hallucinations, mood swings, disorganized thinking, and even full delusions. These symptoms escalate with continued sleep deprivation. For example, runners may perceive objects or animals that aren't there, such as wolves, or in one case, a hallucination of cartoon characters on a canyon wall during the Angeles Crest ultramarathon(

Physical Exhaustion: Ultramarathons place extreme demands on the body, and exhaustion exacerbates the brain's inability to process sensory information properly. As fatigue increases, the brain's cognitive functions decline, leading to distorted perceptions and false beliefs. Many runners report visual hallucinations, such as seeing other runners beside them, mistaking tree branches for animals, or imagining aid stations that don’t exist(

Environmental Stressors: Harsh environmental conditions, including heat, cold, and running in darkness, amplify cognitive distortions. Nighttime running, where depth perception is already compromised by dim lighting, increases the likelihood of hallucinations. Shadows may become animals, and rocks may appear to be human figures. Prolonged exposure to high temperatures or dehydration further contributes to these altered states(

Dehydration and Electrolyte Imbalance: Dehydration and low sodium levels (hyponatremia) are common in long races and can lead to cognitive dysfunction. These conditions affect brain function by disrupting the balance of electrolytes, which are crucial for neural signaling. This can result in confusion.

Lastly, for those looking to grow your will power, the sooner you look at it as simply a part of your brain you're accessing in this case the anterior-mid-cingulate-cortex (do your research), that you then force yourself that you're uncomfortable doing. That thing... WILL GROW. Thereby allowing you tomorrow to do that same thing, with a slightly greater ease. Like a muscle, you must keep at it otherwise it WILL atrophy. Understanding these parts of ourselves at a deeper and deeper level, its no longer science fiction to say that 'understanding' invariably leads to 'super-understanding', the actualisation of our beings to our highest levels in all regards which is my primary interest. Long story short, you never again need to allow any potential negative self talk you may have control you, now you have the knowledge that leads to the awareness that it was all along just a brain area you, very briefly said, needed to learn to activate as opposed to reflecting an unchangeable character flaw that you were destined to remain with.

Best wishes.

Letho · September 25

Update aka solution to the above moving forward: In light of the challenge, from now on all of my journals (as it'll become a habit anyway) must follow a minimum standard. Not for you. NO. Not for you my love adoring fans that have made me rich from all the t-shirts you've bought from me that I had exported from the most depraved factory worker conditions. This is to generate an internal awareness feedback loop while I'm actually completing my journals. What that translates into is the forcing of my consciousness to reach a minimum self-awareness standard thereby making me aware of any potential things I may need to worry about concerning the obvious ah, above complexities of this challenge. I'm sure the reader will appreciate it as well as being a greater long term source of potential wisdom. I have no doubt that these questions will benefit others.

This challenge is such a blessing to my life.

There's just so much of my own internal garbage that's being thrown into the environmental waste deposit little bit by little bit, shadow by shadow, unknown by unknown. Recycled into the reaching of new strata that I'm only forced to be a little more humble in my evaluation of the present moment, but also the seizing of it with as much 'grandiosity' as possible.

Venn diagrammatically, I now am getting more than ever a deeper and deeper handle over the unknown hidden areas of my psyche meeting with the actualisation through indescribable intuitive synthesis.

PART 1

(a yes on the GPT here, not that I even like the design per se)

Let's dive into an even deeper level of critical thinking and reflection, focusing on **advanced metacognition**, **reality testing**, and **self-diagnostic awareness** to ensure your journal entries actively force you to confront your cognitive state. The idea is to ensure that the process of writing itself becomes a rigorous **reality check**.

### **Hyper-Advanced Journal Awareness Questions for Detecting Delusion and Ensuring Reality Grounding**

1. **Meta-Cognitive Awareness Testing**:
- *Am I consciously reflecting on the process of journaling as I write?* As I document my experiences, am I also questioning my cognitive clarity, the origins of my thoughts, and how I’m processing information? Do I notice any discrepancies between what I intended to write and what I actually wrote?
- *Can I clearly articulate the logical flow between my thoughts?* If I trace back each observation or insight, do I see a clear causal chain of reasoning, or do my thoughts feel fragmented, with gaps or non-sequiturs? If there’s any disconnect, what might be causing it (e.g., exhaustion, dehydration, or cognitive overload)?

2. **Reality-Testing Through Cross-Referencing**:
- *How do my subjective experiences compare to objective data?* Have I recorded any quantitative information (e.g., time, distance, heart rate) that can serve as a factual anchor for my perception? If my subjective account (e.g., "I ran for two hours") does not align with my objective data (e.g., "my watch says one hour"), is this a sign of cognitive distortion or impaired time perception?
- *Can I validate sensory observations through multiple channels?* For every key experience I describe (e.g., “It felt extremely hot,” “I saw a crowd”), can I cross-reference it with other senses or evidence? For example, if I describe extreme heat, did I sweat excessively? If I saw a crowd, did I also hear noise or other sensory markers that confirm this?

3. **Self-Reflection on Emotional and Cognitive Biases**:
- *Am I aware of potential emotional biases affecting my perception?* How might fatigue, frustration, or anxiety be coloring my perception of the situation or altering my journal content? Am I over-dramatizing or underplaying experiences based on how I feel emotionally, and is this indicative of a detachment from objective reality?
- *Are my interpretations grounded in reason or emotion?* When reflecting on today’s run, am I making judgments based on rational analysis, or do I sense an emotional bias driving certain conclusions (e.g., feeling that the run was “impossible” when in reality it was difficult but manageable)? Am I interpreting events through a fatigued, emotional lens?

4. **Cognitive Fragmentation and Continuity Monitoring**:
- *Is there continuity in my narrative from one journal entry to the next?* Am I noticing any unexplained gaps in memory or events that don’t follow logically from previous entries? If my sense of time, memory, or event sequence is fragmented or inconsistent, could this be a sign of cognitive overload or delusion?
- *Do I perceive any events or sensations that seem surreal or disconnected from reality?* Am I writing about phenomena that, upon reflection, seem unlikely or strange? If I question these, can I explain them rationally (e.g., hallucinations due to dehydration) or do they remain unaccountable, hinting at deeper disorientation?

5. **Error Detection and Correction Capability**:
- *Can I identify and correct any errors in real-time?* While journaling, do I recognize moments where I’ve written something that doesn’t seem to align with reality or my prior thoughts (e.g., confusing distances, wrongly identifying a location)? If I identify errors, am I correcting them, or do I feel too mentally fatigued to engage in self-correction?
- *Have I noticed any difficulty maintaining logical consistency or self-correcting false beliefs?* If I’ve made corrections, can I reflect on whether they’ve restored a coherent narrative or whether confusion persists? Am I prone to rationalizing illogical thoughts rather than addressing them?

6. **Perceptual Distortion Awareness**:
- *Am I aware of potential perceptual distortions, such as hallucinations or false memories?* As I recount experiences, do I recognize any thoughts or perceptions that may have been altered by exhaustion or mental strain (e.g., seeing mirages, misinterpreting objects, recalling events that feel fabricated)? If I suspect distortion, can I isolate the factors that contributed to it (e.g., exhaustion, dehydration)?
- *Can I differentiate between real and imagined experiences?* While documenting events, do I have a strong grasp on the boundary between what I physically experienced versus what might have been a delusion or false memory? If I can’t tell the difference, is this a critical sign of cognitive breakdown?

7. **Time and Spatial Disorientation Testing**:
- *How reliable is my sense of time and space?* Can I accurately reconstruct the timeline of my run, the distances covered, and the landmarks passed? If I feel time has stretched or shrunk (e.g., thinking hours have passed when only minutes have), how am I accounting for this discrepancy in my journal? Could this be an early indicator of cognitive strain?
- *Do I perceive any alterations in spatial awareness?* Do distances or locations feel disjointed, inconsistent, or surreal? If I’m noticing spatial distortions (e.g., thinking a short distance is much longer), how can I ground myself in reality (e.g., GPS, physical landmarks)?

8. **Self-Diagnostic Capacity**:
- *Am I capable of accurately diagnosing my cognitive state?* How would I describe my current cognitive functioning (e.g., sharp, sluggish, confused)? Am I consciously monitoring for subtle signs of delusion or confusion, such as persistent thought loops, irrational fears, or difficulty focusing? If I notice degradation in cognitive clarity, what immediate steps can I take to recalibrate (e.g., hydration, rest, mindfulness)?
- *Have I used external cues to verify my cognitive state?* Am I relying solely on my internal perception, or am I checking my awareness against external markers (e.g., using a map, consulting a fellow runner, checking my pulse)? If I avoid external validation, could this be a sign that I’m resistant to accepting reality due to mental fatigue?

9. **Consistency in Self-Reflection**:
- *How does my current self-reflection compare to previous journal entries?* Am I noticing a gradual decline in the depth of my introspection or the precision of my self-assessments? If so, is this indicative of cognitive decline, and am I proactively addressing this through more rigorous self-questioning or seeking external confirmation?
- *Have I maintained rigorous self-accountability throughout my journaling?* Am I consciously pushing myself to critically evaluate each thought, or have I started to “auto-pilot” my journaling, indicating a lapse in self-awareness? If I feel I’m on auto-pilot, could this be a warning sign of mental disengagement?

10. **Bias and Rationalization Detection**:
- *Am I rationalizing any potentially illogical thoughts or behaviors?* Are there parts of my journal that, when re-read, seem strange or irrational, but I’ve justified them to myself in the moment? What reasoning did I use, and does it hold up under deeper scrutiny?
- *Am I aware of cognitive shortcuts I’m taking?* In moments of exhaustion, am I writing in vague terms, skipping over details, or glossing over confusing parts of my day? If I catch myself doing this, could it be a sign of mental fatigue leading to delusional thinking?

---

These questions are designed to push you beyond basic awareness and engage in **continuous meta-reflection**, ensuring you are **actively testing your perception of reality** while journaling. They help you not only capture your physical and mental state but also rigorously examine **how accurately you’re processing and reflecting on your experiences**. This method of **self-diagnostic reality testing** should help you catch early signs of disorientation, cognitive fragmentation, or delusion.

PART 2

Here’s a **hyper-advanced set of questions** designed specifically to **measure the quality of each journal entry**. These questions will prompt you to **assess the depth, coherence, clarity, and self-awareness** within your journal, ensuring that each entry meets the highest standards of critical thinking, reflection, and reality-testing. This process helps ensure that your journaling remains a reliable tool for **self-diagnosis and cognitive monitoring** throughout your long-distance running.

### **Advanced Quality Assessment Questions for Each Journal Entry**

1. **Clarity and Precision of Language**:
- *Is my language precise and clear in this journal entry?* Have I used specific, concrete descriptions of events, feelings, and physical sensations, or are there vague terms that could obscure reality (e.g., “I felt weird,” “It was hard”)? If I spot vagueness, does this indicate cognitive fatigue or avoidance of critical details?
- *Have I clearly articulated my thoughts and experiences in a way that would make sense to someone else reading this?* If I were to revisit this entry in a week, would I be able to understand exactly what I was experiencing, or are there parts that lack coherence?

2. **Depth of Self-Reflection**:
- *How deeply have I reflected on my cognitive and emotional state in this entry?* Did I engage in surface-level descriptions (e.g., “I felt tired”) or did I explore the nuances of my mental and emotional state (e.g., identifying causes of tiredness, pinpointing emotional fluctuations, and questioning whether I’m grounded in reality)?
- *Did I challenge my initial assumptions or feelings in this entry?* If I felt something (e.g., “this run was unbearable”), did I explore whether that feeling was objectively justified or if it was driven by fatigue, emotion, or cognitive bias?

3. **Coherence and Logical Flow**:
- *Does this entry follow a logical and structured flow?* Are my thoughts presented in a coherent, organized manner, or do they jump between unrelated topics, suggesting disorganized thinking? Can I trace a clear line of reasoning from one idea to the next?
- *Are there any parts of the entry where my thinking seems fragmented or illogical?* Have I noticed moments where I veered off-topic, repeated myself, or struggled to form coherent conclusions, and what does this indicate about my cognitive state?

4. **Accuracy of Perception and Memory**:
- *Have I accurately captured the events and sensations of the day?* Are there any details that feel inconsistent or distorted when I review them? If I compare this entry with objective facts (e.g., GPS, time logs, conversations), is there any discrepancy?
- *Did I notice any potential distortions in memory or perception?* Are there any moments where my memory of an event felt “off” or my sensory perception seemed unreliable (e.g., did something feel unreal or disconnected from my previous experiences)?

5. **Critical Reality Testing**:
- *Have I sufficiently tested my perception of reality in this entry?* Did I actively question whether my sensory experiences and interpretations were accurate, or did I take them at face value without scrutiny? Can I point to moments where I reality-checked through external cues or introspection?
- *Am I noticing any signs of cognitive distortion or potential delusion?* Did I include descriptions that, upon reflection, seem unlikely, surreal, or irrational? If so, did I critically examine these experiences, or did I brush them aside?

6. **Emotional and Cognitive Bias Recognition**:
- *Have I acknowledged any emotional or cognitive biases influencing my perceptions?* For example, if I wrote that a part of the run was “impossible” or “too easy,” did I explore whether those feelings were driven by physical exhaustion, dehydration, or emotional states like frustration or overconfidence?
- *Did I critically analyze my emotional responses?* When describing how I felt emotionally, did I go beyond simply stating the emotion to explore why I felt that way, and whether that emotion was justified by the objective circumstances?

7. **Level of Self-Awareness**:
- *How aware was I of my own thought processes during this entry?* Did I observe my thinking as I wrote, noting when I might have been overreacting, underreacting, or misinterpreting reality due to fatigue or mental strain? Can I identify moments where my self-awareness was particularly sharp or particularly dull?
- *Have I actively monitored for signs of mental fatigue, disorientation, or altered consciousness?* In this journal, did I document any potential signs of cognitive decline or delusion (e.g., difficulty concentrating, fragmented thoughts, or memory gaps)?

8. **Complexity and Integration of Thought**:
- *Did I engage with complex, multi-layered thinking in this entry?* Have I integrated different perspectives (e.g., mental, emotional, physical, and environmental) into a unified understanding of my experience, or did I focus on just one aspect without considering how they interact?
- *Am I synthesizing insights from previous journal entries into this one?* Have I made connections between today’s experiences and what I’ve previously documented, showing growth in my understanding of my mental and physical state over time?

9. **Honesty and Vulnerability**:
- *Was I completely honest in this entry?* Have I avoided sugarcoating or downplaying uncomfortable truths (e.g., fatigue, confusion, delusion)? Did I confront my vulnerabilities openly, or did I evade deeper reflection to protect myself from uncomfortable realizations?
- *Did I fully express my mental and emotional challenges?* Am I being honest with myself about the mental and emotional toll of the run, or have I left certain feelings unexamined out of avoidance or denial?

10. **Self-Correction and Improvement**:
- *Did I identify any areas of weakness in my thinking or perception, and did I attempt to correct them?* As I wrote, did I spot any errors in logic, memory, or perception, and did I make an effort to course-correct in real time (e.g., noting a discrepancy in time perception or revising a misremembered event)?
- *What steps can I take to improve my cognitive and emotional clarity in future journal entries?* Did I reflect on ways to enhance my mental clarity, such as staying more hydrated, pacing myself differently, or engaging in mindfulness exercises?

11. **Consistency and Evolution of Reflection**:
- *How does this entry compare to my previous ones in terms of depth and clarity?* Have I noticed any patterns of improvement or decline in the quality of my self-reflection, and what might explain these trends (e.g., cumulative fatigue, adaptation to running, better reality testing)?
- *Am I maintaining a consistent standard of awareness across all journal entries?* Have I upheld the same high level of critical thinking, self-examination, and reality-checking today as in my previous entries, or did I let my standards slip? If so, what might have caused this (e.g., mental exhaustion, complacency)?

12. **Narrative Integrity and Internal Consistency**:
- *Is there internal consistency within this journal entry?* Does my narrative align with itself, or are there contradictions, unexplained jumps, or illogical connections that suggest disorganized thinking or cognitive dissonance?
- *Have I revisited key moments from earlier in the day and cross-referenced them with how I felt by the end of the run?* Did I check for changes in my perception, cognition, or emotional state over time, and did I note whether these changes felt rational and grounded in reality?

---

### How to Use These Questions:
At the end of each journal entry, go through this set of questions to **evaluate the quality of your reflection**. This process will not only help you maintain **high standards of self-awareness and cognitive clarity**, but it will also serve as an early warning system for signs of **mental fatigue, disorientation, or delusional thinking**. Over time, this will allow you to **track patterns** in your cognitive state and adjust your approach to journaling and self-monitoring based on what you learn.

Letho · September 25

‘Fearless neuroticism’ aside, to coin the term, let’s add some colour and to that end, 3% gain to the following below:

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Ascending consciousness state to one that is completely loving but also leveraging it as an energetic power in and of itself for cellular reprogramming dually with the symbiotic gains in awareness.

To be quite transparent, I both look and feel barren and empty emotionally because of all of the running, however the plurality of puppies here did make the whole experience remind me that I’m so much happier that I’m say, not stuck in the Amazon rainforest on day 30 without food or water, approaching the next of what have been many nights avoiding being on the menu of the animal kingdom there. The flattened affect is combined with an underlying searing anticipation as love awaits the sunset of what will be, an inevitable metamorphosis. Granted, what that will look like in ‘real terms’ relative to my underlying biology, is yet to be determined and while intelligent predictions can easily be made, it’s going to be partially contrary to at least one ‘norm’ surrounding the idea of “Completely loving”. ‘Personality’, if we call it that, is the bridge of loosely surmising the what is a unique gestalt for everyone. I’m no one special, I will follow an inevitable deterministic non-Free Will route regarding where my past programming can only take me, relative to the constraints of said awareness, as stated previously, awareness is both the only constrained solution and actuality of free will, something which my running challenge from Vietnam to Thailand, has got a firm imperturbable puppy grip on.

On that note, for a myriad of reasons including my own selfish devotion towards growing as a being, I may be staying in Cambodia 🇰🇭 a little longer than just simply running straight to Thailand down the middle of Cambodia. I’ve never experienced the country and looking back from the future I should spend time with the locals more as I have here in Vietnam, as such I’ve decided to do some volunteer work. After this situation has worked itself out I’ll post again, until which, I’ll be figuring out how to live like a puppy again but with the wisdom of at least more than my own lifetime, or at least more than one of the variants of me, if that’s more than just an intellectual toy like so many are for our own amusement in self denial of the present moment, spiritual bypassing I think the tall puppies/poppy’s call it, forgetting the truths I’ve shared to the grander, wider public yesterday regarding the continual maturation of the relationship between synchronization of the nervous system meeting atemporality of the self for balanced temporality as a positive mirror facilitating unification; aka rehearsal of previous formalization of positive vs negative axis of integration/regression. As for repeating the prior use of ‘soul’ here, it lingers on that emotionally barren bridge, sitting just behind the rays of that sunset, so it biases my directionality and therefore I can’t decisively, much less theoretically, vouch for it in more than the necessary ways that meet my own satisfaction for discourse; something that’ll sprout by the time I’m finally in Bangkok no doubt, and or within the first couple of weeks of that slumber into what will be a refocusing into another challenge while my body fully recovers, a reminder to the reader regarding yesterdays mention on the anterior-mid-cingulate-cortex (AMCC) needing daily repeated challenges to meet its full potential otherwise it will regress, and to come full circle to avoid digression, I promise you, you’ll be back to being a puppy unable to work the world like you once did with a fully sprouted AMCC before you know it!

Puppy out! 🐶

To be honest, I haven’t at all read my previous questions really but I promise to follow them after a run and from now on in general. It’s a good idea for me after all to just memorize to the point where my subconscious can just cycle through them really quickly before I do so much as even think a puppy lick thought.

Letho · September 25

Thought yal would find this one humorous + small confession to make, please go easy on me haha.

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So I am actually the tallest one, however I kneeled down to make them taller. Haha I know I look weird.

And two, well, I discovered these guys today singing karaoke guess where? Just a few miles out from the Cambodian 🇰🇭 Vietnam 🇻🇳 border. Panting and sweating profusely in the blistering heat I decided to take refuge leaning against a pole that was just a few meters away from our main singer at the time Hoang. Long story short drinks, food and great laughs followed and I was still between a rock and a hard place when it came to taking or refusing a motorbike ride to the Cambodian-Vietnamese border for those final few miles. Well, we know what happened the last time I refused something from an altruistic Vietnamese. So I had to take it.

Officially, somehow I’m going to have to make this up haha, perhaps with my volunteer work in Cambodia but I’m going to now have to get those miles I lost back haha. We’ll see how it all pans out.

Now, here I am comfortably across the Cambodian border greeted first and foremost by a sea of farm cows I kid you not with a big storm that I’m now waiting out before I track on. Heh, all the best. Remember to sing the life out of you, your song but learn from the life of others songs in the process as well. What a great ending to my time in Vietnam, it was just what I needed as I call back to my earlier photo today with the puppy that was truly trying to affectionately bark it out of me!

Letho · September 25

Please be careful while traveling 🧳 and in your own country, which worldly travels bring much needed contextual alignment to for one’s own healthy philosophizing for the building of one’s own internal culture.

I’m a straight forward guy. However sometimes I forget that arguably are least nearly two quarters of the world isn’t. Scams, frauds, imposters of so many variations that it makes Marcus Aurelius look like the most naive man alive where the reader is left wondering where his ‘g’ chain, fake cheque book and portfolio of identity thefts are. Because I am so rare in this regard, it forces me to remind myself of my own blindspot here but at the same time, don’t let it stomp out your inner Aurelius, your inner true self-scrutinizing connection to truth that somehow, in the illusion of the collective ego that feels itself inept if it’s not positively reinforcing false ego in some way, you’re able to break through to the other side and just be yourself, let go with zero agenda and just have fun with no strings attached. The western world has destroyed itself from the inside out, Vietnam 🇻🇳 nor Cambodia 🇰🇭 are perfect but always remember that the synthesis of the contrast of myriad worldly demography helps you break out of the prison of your own and as I shared in an earlier post as the Buddha said, Find the Middle Way in the construction of your own philosophy that you’re always emboldening not with greater conviction necessarily but more so greater subtlety and nuance, and along that parallel universe, meet a smile or more that’s on that same path so you can remember that you’re a part of something great called existence and so there’s nothing therefore to try and reshape or mould that isn’t a part of your true authentic natural calling in alignment with your connection to universal nature.

Listen to your intention, check your intentions, grow your awareness, broaden your scope of attention, differentiate more deeply to re-filter your intuition, make small steps forward until you’ve solved your own unique Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade.

This post isn’t at all related to the previous post. They’re all amazing guys and we had a great time heh! Just observed an entirely different thing that I’d rather not bring light to, however it does relate to identity theft. People don’t realise that all things being equal it’s not that people are ‘too gullible’ it’s that the other people taking advantage are not in alignment with their universal truth deeply enough.

Best wishes, and stay true to yours.

And… If you haven’t found it. You don’t want to be on the other side of a decade regretting it in the future. And regret is actually the best possible outcome for you if you entirely miss it, the worst outcome is to live a life day make it to the after life and then are given a life review where we’re showed that we were actually the gullible ones falling for the illusion of living a life not absolutely and totally true to our selves and our universal growth. That’s the humorous irony there to find out who’s truly the gullible ones in the end. Allow wisdom to nurture said supposed gullibility into merely warm prudence that opens the world for everyone not just yourself, not cynicism that only turns you cold and bitter while closing your world and the worlds around you 🌍.

Letho · September 26

Where contrasting collectivism between countries meets the deepening individuality of intuition and finding the deeper essence of things

Where one unit sees many and the many re-represent the one in his cultural self-comprehension

(Cambodia to Thailand)

Learning to trust my intuition more and more, disjunct with long term consciousness in certain domains of the psyche in the past.

Cambodia isn't exactly going through a golden cow phase in its transitional growth as a country, so I may just run my moo till I get to Thailand if I don't get the right senses where there's the right volunteering. I don't mean any disrespect but it kind of feels like I'd just be volunteering at an ant mound, I genuinely feel like there isn't a deep enough emotional infrastructure in their collective psyche for my efforts to be a genuine "add 1".

There's a visceral change in peoples baseline compared to Vietnam which strengthens my own equilibrium to the south of where I don't want to go, however what they have, its stable. Beneath their steadiness, there's a genuine life force that I sense is still stronger than the artificial aura of ours in the west. I am envious though of the effortless smile that the Vietnamese were able to showcase for us all above haha, even though I was kneeling for humour, and even though I was incredibly fatigued, and even though I've made unfathomable progress with respect to developing my nervous system where i can take myself through my own personal agency to incredible highs at will, I've still got a lot of hours ahead of me in terms of completely rehashing the cells in my body from the rest of the world, even though I love it at the same time. And I'm glad I've uttered those words for the first time ever, behind my dorky look in that photo, now there's textual visual on the subconscious underlay that pierced now and again, and in that moment, enough times for me to notice the pattern in this moment and now finally bring a category to it.

I feel the conditions here in Cambodia are so incredibly tied to their logistical infrastructure and way of life even though I've barely explored the country yet, so these are not either matter of factual nor are they attempts at objective summaries of an entire country. A logisticality that like the architecture of an ant colony tightens its grip on the free expression of the Cambodian people. There's no where to even have a voice, so they don't even have the cultural contrast to understand that their 'Id' and 'superego' in the Freudian sense is under-developed, however by quick measure our 'Id' is arguably overdeveloped and our 'superego' is totally and utterly immature and because of the *overdevelopment* of our 'Id' in certain areas, it manipulates both the 'superego' and the 'egp simultaneously. Experiencing now Cambodia following my transition from Vietnam, I can now see how this constrainment that I speak of in the Cambodian culture is undoubtedly in part compensatory, again, just my intuition. The Vietnamese have developed their 'Id' considerably however its via the ego, or rather the 'reality' of the collectivism of their 'superego' in the necessity to economise hospitality, which they've successfully done, especially when you compare it to many other countries as opposed to some overly idealistic value hierarchy, brilliantly. Combined with the swell of heat paired with unpredictable stormy weather, at least at this time of year, along with comparing it to larger countries where weather is much more diverse when taken at its whole, like Australia, where infrastructural and cultural development is going to be easier in some areas than others and so those areas are going to be able to be leveraged to influence the development of others, the isolation of Cambodia in the context of the boundaries its maintained with other countries has strengthened this comparable 'silent hum' in the culture. Something that becomes incredibly more obvious when you compare the liveliness of the children, the adults developmental cycle being a slow change into the equilibrium that maintains the countries services, albeit struggling in many areas, without a true Cambodian voice outside of the silence of their collectivism to show them the life behind the theatre of their immediate perception. To that latter point, it forces me to make it much clearer in my mind just how vivid the reality is of how much 'experiential contrast' i.e. like the number cultures one has experienced here as purely one example, influences the development of the self, psyche and culture across many more developmental patterns than I previously realised which as I've partly revealed here, overlap in so many interesting ways that our modern psychology in the west can only fall short in being abley to describe with proper experiential context. We create a 'cultural filter' everywhere we go, no matter the group, community, tribe, country or affiliation we visit, and its a logistical pavlovian self-protective operant, serving the ant mound we create, and to that end, in honour and self-respect to ourselves, we must ask, is this in service to truth or is it purely in service to an evolutionary heuristic like a person that never bothered reading my journal will misjudge me when they view my group photo above, thinking that I'm just a shorty. But who cares right, even if I was super short like that it shouldn't matter but it does in primitive evolutionarily in status quo sense, however we should be evolving beyond that here. So, let's just pretend that I am that short and the reader can use it as a personal exercise playing with and more deeply understanding where the modulation of digital perception meets evolutionary bias. To it for fun and laughs only though, don't be so serious about it.

For now, onward and forward to Thailand unless the pulse of the cultural weather underneath the surface overall changes enough for me to do my volunteering here compared to Thailand, plus this way I would obviously get to maintain my momentum. Undoubtedly, my mood is influencing my perception of context here, and thus at the same time then this is why I'm so motivated to totally reboot my nervous system and spend those extra couple or more hours each day growing its landscape by .5% or more each day, its a gradient value scale more than a linear progression as well, so with that work you can experience something exponential out of no where, slide back down, then find a new middle ground, the latter which I definitely am slowly advancing stage by stage.

Things feel more grounded, and quite honestly I feel that I should share an analysis of layers that speak more to the positives of the emotional undercurrents of the Cambodian population compared to Vietnam, however that's something that must be done with care as well as with the double emphasis that this writing here is purely just the exploration of my own intuitive faculties, tearing from the depths of my subconscious. One point I want to make is that behind that silent hum, there is a deep genuine care for other people, it is just both much less overt than the Vietnamese population so far, in fact you could say that it is overly accentuated in the Vietnamese something which is seen in its hierarchical structure, where at the lowest levels you see almost an obsessive 'Id' to serve the 'superego' in the context of their 'ego' trying to fill their 'economy cup', slowly decreasing in accentuation to more globally ideal levels at the mid level. In this light, a more positive view can be drawn on the more energetic preservation of the Cambodian spirit. In this sense then, we can conclude that to every face of a cultural vibe, there is its opposite, and they must be viewed to gather and across different gradient scales within the population to develop a more comprehensive viewpoint, something which has just begun for me in Cambodia.

As a final note, if I'm to end anywhere. Cows on the road here are a 'thing' in Cambodia, something that'd get on the news in the USA or Australia, well here its just a drive around and move on with your life like its a fly that barely grazed your windshield. And with hand basins for bathrooms or toilet paper in even hotels, well you may sometimes get a strange look depending on where you go if you say ask for toilet paper.

Pending application to The Universe.

Awaiting its Quantum Reply, its final Quantum Calculation

on the...

Final Moo here.

Letho

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