Something really weird had happened to me.

[Sabth]

Idk where to put this. First , they have killed me, now I no longer had a self. Followed others. They have killed me. First, they won’t allowed me to travel. Or have the vaccine, I literally had no one to bring me to get it. They told us not to have it but they themself had it.

and I didn’t know anything about my sisters wedding and about her pregnancy and delivery. I didn’t see them. Back then, they said, the quarantine and the COVID. So I was out of the picture. But they had sex in my house and, (even delivered the baby while staying in my house? ) but I didn’t know it. I don’t remember why or what’s going on. Maybe we are just contactless. But she get married in another state without me (and my other sister/siblings attending their wedding. But then, they live in our house after. I wonder, why. I don’t like it. Because it’s just like bringing a  guy over to our house and have sex and live together and have a baby. My parents are no longer a practicing Muslim at that point. Or else, our house are designed for segregation between male and female. And for guest. We had it all designed. Well. But then , 

anyway, some of us didn’t have the covid vaccine, my mom demonised it until now but she do it for herself, and could travel. It was one of the reason I’m pissed when someone from other state could come to my house while I couldn’t travel. He shouldn’t be coming to my house. It’s covid now. And why, I couldn’t? So that’s why , I burn the towel to drive him out of my house. It wasn’t a big deal. But they touch me for it. As soon as I heard where he came from, it pissed me off. And I could hear them speaking from the living room in my room even with the door closed. Everything was just, so bothering me. And this is how they took me to the hospital. And when I’m back, they had steal all my things. I literally had nothing else. They had killed me. And the biggest thing I lost was my connection. They’ve killed me. I wasn’t allowed to have any contact with anyone for over a month or do my practice or what I usually do so they have killed me. I wish to kill myself altogether cuz life is not worth living, 

 

I became highly dependant on my parent and they even want me to keep getting injected once a month for the rest of my life forever. Being associated with the hospital forever. So we do it for a few month. I felt so fucking disabled and stupid until I stop it. My mom would drive me to this hospital which are out of the way from our usual area and are faraway. To get to this hospital. By this time my parents are no longer Muslims.

 

 

Edited August 31 by Sabth

[aurum]

8 hours ago, Sabth said:

 I wish to kill myself altogether cuz life is not worth living, 

Please seek professional help if you can. People here are not equipped to help you handle these kind of problems.

[Loving Radiance]

@Sabth It seems that you are still in the situation that caused your bad mental health.

Can you go places where you can make new friends with people? Having a new social net will help you tremendously. Spend as much time as possible with those people who do good to you. Spend as much time as possible away from people who are making you feel bad.

Everything will get and feel better once you have that covered.

Edited September 1 by Loving Radiance

[Human Mint]

@Sabth I am sorry to hear that. Try to aply the concept of 100% responsability, as hard as it seems. 

You may be in the worst situation. and it may haven't been your fault, yet you still need to make the best desitions. 

Thank me later.

Edited September 1 by Human Mint