Are Beliefs And Self Image The Only Limitation In Personal Development ?

[Rajat]

Recently I've been doing a lot of research on self image and beliefs and how they prevent us from reaching our full potential. I've heard people say you can if you believe you can, or as Henry Ford said: "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." I get the point (somewhat) and I can see how beliefs can limit our possibilities.Here's what I don't understand fully. If on a scale of ten i am at level 5, a self limiting belief can keep me stuck at level 2 or 3, but can a positive belief take us directly from 5 to 7 or 8 without any hard work as the negative (self limiting belief) did (it brought us from 5 to 3 without doing anything ).Is it that the positive beliefs only help us develop faster. What I mean is that do beliefs only hamper our growth or they are promoters in some way.I am a newbie in personal development I apologize if this sounds silly but I really needed this cleared. I have a little idea but it would be great if I could get other opinions and insights. Ignore my english 

[Capethaz]

When you awake, you realize who you really are, you self-image and your beliefs are seen how they really are. Illusions. Projections of the mind. Empty. Then peace comes and life flows naturally.

But don't try to understand it, meditate. It is the way.

 

 

Edited April 27, 2017 by Capethaz
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[Visitor]

3 hours ago, Rajat said:

... can a positive belief take us directly from 5 to 7 or 8 without any hard work as the negative (self limiting belief) did (it brought us from 5 to 3 without doing anything ).

Is it that the positive beliefs only help us develop faster. What I mean is that do beliefs only hamper our growth or they are promoters in some way. ...

Hell Rajat.

In the first part of your question, my answer is yes.

In the second question, my answer is that I find human beliefs are based on either truth and love, or on deception and fear.

Truth and love based beliefs promote growth, while the other hampers growth.

Truth and love radiates, while deception and fear contracts.

[Damir Elezi]

@Rajat If you believe, for example, that you are ugly, you will behave as if you were ugly. You will take on a body-language that shows that you are scared of people judging you, you won't smile much, you will keep away from people who are handsome in your opinion. Even if you are not that ugly, your whole body language and charisma (or lack thereof) will make people want to stay away from you, or view you as kind of "weird", which only reinforces your idea. 
"Nobody wants to talk to me, so I must be ugly!"
People will probably view you as unattractive because of your behavior. So the idea of you being ugly, in fact makes you ugly.
Now if you believe you are the most handsome guy on the planet, you will walk around with confidence, dressing nicely, showing off your good attributes etc. and people will find you attractive. 
This is an obvious example, but the same thing goes on for most aspects of our lives basically. If you think you are a successful person, you will behave like a successful person, which will make you a successful person.
I think the reason behind this is, that most things we deal with in life: Relationships, business, religion, politics etc. are concepts of the human mind. They ONLY occur in the human mind and do not exist objectively (or without a human mind). So of course, they will change according to how your mind sees them. Events in the outside world might trigger an emotional reaction and a following belief based on that, but in the end, it's all in your mind. 

[SOUL]

No amount of intention, thinking or believing I am a unicorn will allow me to be a unicorn.

There are dynamics and variables that influence everything so being aware of how these affect our life can allow us to work more effectively to achieve what we seek.

[alyra]

belief and self-image are both often a great hindrance on a person, but don't forget pragmatism and skill. it takes time to discover what is needed to accomplish a task, and while limited by beliefs, this also is limited by lack of experience. but be careful because that itself could potentially turn into a limiting belief

[Rajat]

@Damir Elezi  I agree with what you said, what my question is that if an ugly person believes that he is beautiful (and he has no doubt about it), he may project it in the outside world,and he will behave like he's beautiful, but how does that change the fact that he is ugly ?

In other words what I mean is that If I believe that I am a millionaire, just believing won't make me a millionaire, although it might help me to earn the money faster and with ease to become a millionaire. Am I right ? 

[Damir Elezi]

@Rajat Most things we deal with do not exist objectively. Meaning there is no "ugly" or "beautiful" at all. There is no ugly person, there is no beautiful person. It's just a matter of perspective and the own self-image shapes other's perspective of you as well.
Of course, the concept of "millionaire" is a bit different, as the amount of money on someone's bank account can actually be measured. But if it is your goal to be a millionaire, it is not just your goal to have a lot of money, because money is just paper or some number on a screen. What you actually want is the possibility to buy stuff, confidence, prestige, freedom, security. All of these are also mainly concepts, so in a sense I would also say, that believing to be a millionaire makes you a millionaire, because you aquire the confidence, security, freedom of a millionaire - because you believe you have it.
That's just really deep thinking of course. In a more "practical" sense you are right. Believing something will not make it happen immediatelly, but creates a path to it. 

[HelloThere]

On 4/27/2017 at 9:00 AM, Rajat said:

If on a scale of ten i am at level 5

You've defined that you are at level 5 therefore you can't get any further or lower without devolving/evolving. 

A setpoint is like a target value or state that some system is moving towards. Basically if you have a goal or something you are moving towards then it is your setpoint. It's where the carrot on the stick is moving that is being chased. I think of beliefs as kind of broad setpoints since whatever you happen to believe will sort of frame and marinate much of the thoughts that you have and therefore your actions too. 

My simplistic view on it:
Say John and his ridiculously identical twin, Bill, can lift 50kg off the ground and have these beliefs aligned too. Ok, that's what they can lift off the ground so they both stay at that weight day to day.

Now say John lost his memory and believes he can lift 30kg off the ground. He can lift that too and 20kg more but since he doesn't believe it he won't give it a chance and try it. 
Now say Bill lost his memory and believes he can lift 70kg off the ground. He believes that and so he will try it but since that is not the strength either of them are at right now he won't be able to lift it and will have to drop it half way through the lift being confused.

Now say they both continue life with these two different beliefs. 
John will over time become his belief in actuality as his muscles adapt(grow weaker) to match his every day belief.
Bill will over time become his belief in actuality as his muscles adapt(grow stronger) to match his every day belief.

Their real strength did not change in either direction upon adpoting new beliefs at that moment, but over time adapting new beliefs(new setpoints) changed what their real strength became.

So another way of putting it is that

On 4/27/2017 at 9:00 AM, Rajat said:

(it brought us from 5 to 3 without doing anything ).

is also probably incorrect. We were still a 5 but we didn't use anything above 3 so only the result of our actions became 3.

That being said even if it's an incorrect way of thinking that "believing you are something greater automatically means that you are better" it's probably not too horrible of an idea to do so because it can have at least 2 positive effects:

1) You already had a lot of limiting beliefs so your "real value" is actually higher than your belief/setpoint and so you will come closer to your real value.

2) You will overshoot your "real value" but as long as you keep going you will at one point get very close to that "overly" optimistic belief.

I guess the only trap can be that you believe you are so insanely great that reality lashes back at you with such force and crushes you so hard that you become embarrassed/bitter/self pitying/hopeless and a victim basically and so you will never try to move out of your comfort zone again. Should be avoidable with some humility/persistence and patience though.

Have a good day

Edited April 29, 2017 by HelloThere

[HelloThere]

3 hours ago, Rajat said:

what my question is that if an ugly person believes that he is beautiful (and he has no doubt about it), he may project it in the outside world,and he will behave like he's beautiful, but how does that change the fact that he is ugly ?

@Rajat I guess this one isn't as straight forward as growing into what you believe. You still look how you look unless you start moisturizing or working out or putting on make up or whatever. Your face will be mostly your face. 

However it's a good thing that it doesn't matter as much as the stuff around it like how you mimic your face or how you hold your posture/carry yourself and how your interactions reflect who you are. Guys are pretty visual but I'll see an "ugly" girl as many points more attractive when she feels and acts in a sexy way/smiles and gives me the vibe of a happy and healthy person. All this other stuff is changeable but will not improve when you have limiting beliefs that never allow you to become this awesome person.

Sweating about shit you can't change is a trap not to mention a massive time/effort sink.

Edited April 29, 2017 by HelloThere

[Shin]

Beliefs and self-images are illusions as you already know.
So, when you think about it, there isn't something you can't do, there is only things you aren't doing.

Don't buy into anything your mind says, if you feel you really want something, ask yourself why.

If the answer is something about some kind of benefits, you don't want it (unless basic practical stuff)
If the answer is something about what you could do for others (either directly or not), then you really want it.

Beware of what your mind will tells you, it is very tricky, and you might not even know for sure if you're bullshitting yourself if you didn't do some serious mindfulness/shadow work/meditation work before (check this on Leo's channel if you don't know what I'm talking about).

The problem is not negative beliefs or positive beliefs, it is any kind of belief.

You don't need to believe anything if you really know what you want deep down, everything else will come as insights and intuitions, you don't even have to think.

If you don't find your life purpose, you'll be only half a men the rest of your life.
Everything will be disfunctional in some degree, especially relationship with women, cause what womens do all the time is testing your inner strenght, and without a purpose, you have none.

Bentinho Self-Empowerment Course is free, so you might want to check that out (to find your life purpose), I didn't do it, so I don't know its worth.

There is also the one from Leo, but it cost 250$ (which is cheap considering what you would get of it), so I would suggest you to buy it if you aren't 300% sure of what you want, because the course is amazing and you learn a lot of useful stuff.

 

 

Edited April 29, 2017 by Shin

[Nahm]

@Rajat Yes, because there is no 'scale', there is only where you are now, (your relativity to everything) which is only your beliefs.

[Rajat]

@HelloThere A sound explanation.Loved it. Thanks a lot.

One more question. I am a student with a particularly good record but I was lazy. But due to some reason I hated studies even though I was good at it. I never wanted to study but then the moralising and the 'shoulds' were making me study. As I hated studying, I subconsciously started to tell myself that i am too dumb to study, maybe to prevent myself from the guilt of not studying.At last I reached a point where I believed that I was an idiot and I can never study which relieved me from the pain of sitting and working for hours (I know it sounds weird but I actually did it ). Now I could enjoy life as I believed that studying is not 'MEANT' for me. Obviously I wasn't aware of beliefs and over generalizing things at that time . But now I know that I am not a fool, my conscious mind accepts this fact, but it seems that my subconscious mind is reinforcing the idea of be being an idiot, against my will. I know that I am at level 5 but I am able to reach only level 3 even though I want to reach level 5 with all my heart. Its like an invisible force that paralyses if I try to cross my self image (is it the terror barrier ?). I am not able to study.Whenever I pick up the pen I am full of fear. Its like my mind goes blank. Maybe its my subconscious trying to hold and justify the old belief that I am not capable. Also, I don't know what do I I fear,maybe fear of failure (as I didn't fail for a long time as I didn't even study) maybe I fear that my self image and personality would begin to change if I start studying , is it cognitive dissonance kind of thing. Any idea bro what might be happening ? 

 

[Rajat]

On 4/29/2017 at 9:29 PM, HelloThere said:

We were still a 5 but we didn't use anything above 3 so only the result of our actions became 3.

@HelloThere

I have heard that 95% of our actions are controlled by our subconscious mind, so if we intellectually know that we are at level 5 but subconsciously believe we are at level 3, we act like a level 3 person. Even if we want to act like a level 5 person we are unable to so as 5% of our conscious mind fights against 95% of our subconscious mind and ultimately the later wins. Am I right? And do you have any ideas on how to change limmitting beliefs and subconscious mind fast, as my exams are approaching soon.  

[HelloThere]

@Rajat

I was just giving you my perspective on how beliefs make the most sense to me from experience and Leos stuff, still learning on my own as well. 

On 5/2/2017 at 1:06 PM, Rajat said:

I know that I am at level 5 but I am able to reach only level 3 even though I want to reach level 5 with all my heart.

One guess could be that if you were playing this "dumb" game for a good while (months+) then it's likely that the output of your actions became 3 as you say and stayed there and you used to be level 5 but you've gotten "out of shape" since then. You still might know what it feels like to be a 5 and be convinced that you can be that easily (since you've been that). Though since it's been so long your brain/subconscious/habits/beliefs/whatever you want to call it have transformed and found a new stable point at 3 so now you actually are back at 3. I went through a similar process of getting mentally out of shape, just far earlier than university. If this is true it will probably take you quicker to get back to 5 than someone who has only ever been 3 however because of homeostasis (your mind and bodies tendency to always stay stable/the same) then you will have to go through some serious emotional effort and grind. Meaning there isn't some magic to just know how to instantly retain information as quickly again after you've "hacked" the barrier with "this one simple trick". Change takes consistent time meaning you can't go on emotion and pumping your willpower up for some brute force attempt but have to actually apply new behaviors daily.  This might be something closer to "this one simple trick", but you will still have to apply that daily as well : The Tricks of Using Affirmations to Transform Your Life. Haven't really practiced it widely though except for one thing.

That being said I think these might help the exam situation:
How To Study
How To Get Shit Done
Could search his channel for "belief" to see if something you asked comes up (just make sure it doesn't become purely procrastination and you actually use it somehow)

Leo has loads of stuff that covers much of the basic questions people ask here so sometimes I think this forum is just procrastination for people. Still good to discuss I suppose  

On 5/2/2017 at 1:06 PM, Rajat said:

maybe fear of failure (as I didn't fail for a long time as I didn't even study) maybe I fear that my self image and personality would begin to change if I start studying ,

This part right here hits deep. Changing your identity is creepy (homeostasis and all) and big changes come with changing your identity. Being afraid to fail and end up disappointed has been something I've had to deal with too. Ended up making a plan that I knew had a high probability of working and be sustainable so I wouldn't give up but it was still very difficult since I had to change who I was in a sense since your behaviors are who you are. Speaking of which lol: The Power Of Routines

Totally over killing this reply,
Have a nice day  

 

[Rajat]

@HelloThere Thanks a lot sir, you helped a lot

[Nahm]

@Rajat Belief is the literal fabric of reality. Careful with those five analogies. You could be 100.

 

[Tancrede Pouyat]

Your original question was: "are beliefs and the self-image the only limitations to personal development?"

To my knowledge, no. Your upbringing, your idiosyncrasies, and what I call your mind-nature (as in, whether you're more left brain or right brain) are limitations as well.

Beliefs and self-image, however, seem to be a bigger deal to many people.

But, to me, lack of self-knowledge is the biggest obstacle.