Rejection

[CuteCornDog]

I fear rejection.

I don't know what else to say.

Sorry I don't have a long detailed post.

[Anirban657]

The way to overcome the fear of rejection is to stop caring what others think about you and becoming comfortable about being rejected. 

 

[CuteCornDog]

23 minutes ago, Anirban657 said:

The way to overcome the fear of rejection is to stop caring what others think about you and becoming comfortable about being rejected. 

 

 

I saw this the day it came out.

[Visitor]

On 4/27/2017 at 3:12 PM, CuteYTDawg said:

I fear rejection...

The primary ego fear is judgement. From this is the fear of rejection, then the fear of segregation, then abandonment and finally annihilation. All these fears stem from the fear of judgement. If one can overcome the fear of judgement then all the others will not arise.

In my experience, the best way to overcome the fear of judgement is to deeply judge yourself to the very core of self. Self-honesty about self, and nobody else, from birth to the present. All your secrets, imperfections, good points, bad points, likes and dislikes, ...everything about yourself. And accept every bit of you as you are. Don't worry, everybody  has defects of character, and shortcomings.

Once you have come to this point of total self acceptance, then two things happen when someone judges you. 1) You may recognize some truth about yourself that you may already know about, or not know about but you do now. Your response will be to say 'yes I know', or 'thank you for revealing that truth about me'. 2) Through self honesty you may not recognize their judgement as true. In either case, you are no longer fearful of any judgement, because you know your truth and accept any further truths that may be revealed to you.

In this case, rejection is no longer an experience, for you will realize that if the judger rejects you then it is something they have trouble accepting about you or themselves. But in either case you have already accepted yourself warts and all. So if the other cannot accept you then it is their problem and not yours.

Edited April 29, 2017 by Visitor
grammar

[egoeimai]

@Visitor love that post. Can you give me some links or even more depth on this? 

[Visitor]

Hello egoeimai, thank you for your response.

The first paragraph about fears from judgement is my own truth. The rest about self-honesty and self-judgement was learnt, and practiced, from the twelve step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Particularly steps 4 and 5, then 8 and 9, with a daily practice of step 10.

These steps can be used by anyone. I used them to overcome my addictions to alcohol and drugs nearly thirty years ago.

Here is a link that lists the steps.  There is the book I used as my guide through those steps. You can download it as a PDF document.

[egoeimai]

Thank u so much @Visitor

[Shin]

What other people think of you are thoughts.
Thoughts are imaginary things that people thinks, and most of these thoughts are taken from our society.
If someone doesn't like you, it's not you they don't like, it's their idea of you they despise.

There is something you really need to get into your head right now
No matter how amazing you someone is, there will ALWAYS be someone who hates him.

Why ?
Because people judge, and why do they judge ?
Because they think they are a separate entity.

The thoughts they have to judge you, are the way they have to separate themselves from you.
It's not personal, nothing is personal in this, it's all a game they are playing.

If you want this pain to stop, you have to stop the game.
No one is gonna stop the game for you but yourself.

So the next time someone judges you, and you feel rejection
Feel the emotion inside you, don't be in your mind, be in your emotion.
Let it comes fully, don't interfere, don't do anything except feeling/observing it.

If you do that everytime a negative emotion comes, you'll be free of it, with time.
If you don't change anything, the pain will grow stronger, until you can't stand it anymore.
Then you'll be forced to do what I have told you anyway, so save you some months/years, and do it now.

 

Edited April 29, 2017 by Shin

[CuteCornDog]

I feel that I'm too different from other people.