Journey to Self Actualisation

[UpperMaster]

I’m in a walk thinking about what area of my life I should commit to. Woman Business or Philosophy.

 

their all very needed. Not pursuing each and any one of them comes with a price. 
Each area of my life comes with overcoming difficulties. I suspect that one of the reasons for why I don’t fully commit to one is because when I do temporarily commit I realise that it’s not that easy. 
 

No-matter what area in life I commit to I realise I can’t skip the pain and hard work. It’s unavoidable. That’s such a bitter pill to swallow. But this understanding is what is now forcing me to chose a path.

I am currently convinced I should go for business. Simply because I am encountering a lot of people who are in business, I know people that are succeeding and so I have the environment to learn.

Philosophy is the same, I can get that environment. I know a Ramana Maharishi teacher Micheal James who I can learn from. 
 

dating wise, I’m in uni so a lot of woman. But il be honest the amount of people in my city is small. So il probably need to save some money to go to bigger cities. 
 

each path is hard, I just gotta pick one and stick with it.

[UpperMaster]

I'll go ahead with business. One thing that's definitely motivating is thinking about the opportunity cost of committing to business. Because I am committing to business, I have less time to contemplate truth, less time to perfect my game. So I have to give it my all everyday because I am already paying for the time I am using to build a business. 

[UpperMaster]

Okay so this is what I will do: 

- Learn drop shipping basics.

- Get a product and use the framework used in Alex Hormozi 100 million dollar offers.

- Use 100 million dollar leads to advertise the product.

[UpperMaster]

I just cancelled a party idk if it was a good idea

[UpperMaster]

My mother showed me an old video of me presenting a speech. I was so talented. It felt like it was literally a smarter version of myself (although he was in the 7th grade). Like seriously, I am sure if you saw that video you wouldn't think of that kid as a future college fail. Yet here I am.

My friends and my family have told me that I quit too easy and don't believe in myself. I didn't take it as seriously as I should. This was clear evidence (at least for me) that I had huge potential, and am squandering it by not believing in myself. 

The reason for this, I have a very strong suspicion is because I was friends with a textbook narcissist who made me despise every part of myself. I will never let a person dictate what I can or cannot do ever again. That guy really destroyed my self image completely, which lead to distruction of my health temporarily and also my process in life. 

If your reading this, I wholeheartedly believe that one of the biggest crimes one can commit against another is to devalue a persons self image to the extent to which they don't believe they can achieve anything, thereby destroying all possibility of self-actualizing and progress.

 

I will never let someone commit that crime to me again. I will not doubt myself again. Please don't be friends with narcissists they will ruin your life. 

[UpperMaster]

If I could partner with Alex Hormozi that would be super cool

[UpperMaster]

I suspect that:

1. Make sure to work as hard as possible 
2. Make sure your working on the right things

Working hard should be accomplished first. This is because if you initially concern yourself with working smart or working on the right things, then you will use it as an excuse to not work as hard (from my experience).

Edited November 1 by UpperMaster

[UpperMaster]

I think I have been trying too hard to be perfect and that prevents me from progressing naturally. I realized how it's important to see yourself as a human, and accept that your view of the world is partial, your logical capacities are limited and your point of view has several limitations. I think it's very important to embrace this instead of fight against it as it allows you to move forward in life without being too perfectionistic.

I remember discussing with Leo on a thread, I asked him what would 1000IQ creature view human logic and ideas. He replied saying that we would look like rats to them. 

I think we keep forgetting the limitations of human rationality and we keep pressuring ourselves to be perfect and know all aspects of truth when we may be very limited. That's not an excuse to not try searching for truth, but still. I don't think being too perfect is a great idea.

[UpperMaster]

I realize how it is a privilege to be able to improve. Some people can't afford to improve because their genetics or circumstance don't allow them to. 

[UpperMaster]

Just watched the video on how to be a man (advanced one). I thought it was very very informative. 

My notes: 

Be authentically yourself, embrace your femininity. 

Put your authenticity on the pedestal like how you put Hollywood masculinity on the pedestal.

A real man brings the man into everything he does. 

Not all woman will like your authentic personality and that's okay. Authentic personality is what will attract woman.

Neediness is the ultimate bitch repellent 

(Italy Maslow example)

 

The activity doesn’t make the man. That man makes the activity. 

[UpperMaster]

I used to despise the idea of destiny. Now I feel like it’s true intuitively. 
 

I think letting go and leaving it to my destiny is something I am forced to do. The more I contemplate, the more I believe in it. We actually don’t control anything things just happen.

 

 

edit: main point I want to say is that the more I want to control things in life the more clear it is that life happens to me and I don’t control anything.

 

Edited November 3 by UpperMaster

[UpperMaster]

David Deida preaches this mindset of giving to the world and not expecting anything back. To give without expecting to recieve. 
 

I am resonating with that message this morning. You can’t control whether the world you appreciate your effort, you can control whether or not you keep giving it your all even if the world doesn’t reciprocate for your efforts.

[UpperMaster]

Today was a special day. It was my first midterm this year. Micro 1 midterm 1. I went through this topic twice before. This was my third attempt. I have a good feeling about this one.

Passing would be a confidence boost. Confidence in myself is what I really need right now. 
 

I have a math midterm in a week, which I am excited to prepare for and do well. I think I look forward to it because I felt confident in today’s midterm (I really hope I pass).

 

I have a language test on the 21st aswell to November is super packed. Super packed. I hope all goes well. 

[UpperMaster]

Damn I feel so much more confident. I don’t even know if I failed but the fact that I understood some things from the test makes me feel confident.

 

i can see the value of true confidence, maybe if I take small steps then I can gradually take bigger ones. Maybe you can’t fake confidence, you build it slowly. But once you do it probably helps a lot.

[UpperMaster]

My mother always told me that you go to school to learn the art of learning. Once you master that art, you can pursue everything. I beginning to understand where she comes from

[UpperMaster]

I hate when people project an amazing personality, but when you get to know them they aren't super impressive. I hate fakes. I really like when you a person seems normal, but in reality they are super super impressive.

[UpperMaster]

Today was my best friend’s birthday, so a few of us planned a surprise for him. At the gathering, we smoked some weed, and I ended up talking to one of his close friends about business. The conversation didn’t feel right, though—he kept pushing his opinions, like he was more focused on impressing me than genuinely sharing ideas. I like the guy, but this chat was off. Maybe it was partly because I was high, but everything he said felt like he was showing off his knowledge rather than connecting on the topic. I found myself reacting with a bit of ego, too.

His vibe even took me back to high school days, full of subtle power plays—he’d ignore me at certain points, and his first greeting was a passive-aggressive “how are you, little man?” I don’t know why, but I have this radar for people playing these social games, and it really irritates me. I want conversations to be real, not this constant back-and-forth of proving who’s better.

The whole experience made me think about how pretentiousness gets in the way of true self-improvement. It reminded me of a period last year when I was studying for a math exam. I’d decided to stop comparing myself with everyone else’s progress and just focus on my path. I told myself motivation doesn’t matter and took things one step at a time, which worked—I ended up with a high grade.

That’s what I want more of: genuine quality over talk. I don’t want to just show off; I want to actually be great. Cillian Murphy came to mind as an example of someone who doesn’t play social games and just lives authentically. He’s a fantastic actor who really seems to embody that approach.

[UpperMaster]

I was minding my business, stressing about the upcoming exam. For whatever reason I started listening to the teachings of David Deida. I finally think I understand what he means by "relax into consciousness". He tells you to stop associating with your body, your thoughts and anything that appears in life as all of that is the feminine. What remains unchanged, that's consciousness. Recognize that you've been the same you ever since you were a child, even though all the cells in your body are different. That "you" that remains the same is consciousness. 

To focus on that consciousness and identify with it, and then relax with that identification is what I believe he means by "relax into  the depth consciousness".

 

Damn I thought I would love to learn from him. I went to his website and he's holding a training on March. It's like 7k. Idk that's a fuck ton ahaha.

[UpperMaster]

Today was me wasting a bunch of time. I started with the whole David Deida's teaching obsession. Some things he says touch me really really to my core I know he's right, but I always feel like my understanding isn't good enough to practice his teaching and that really worries me.

Sometimes I think maybe all this spiritual shit is bullshit. Maybe physical reality is the only reality, and current science and materialism is right.

I cant tell if I am wasting my time

I also saw a quote by Robbin Williams which I thought was super insightful: Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.

[UpperMaster]

The reason why I am now more skeptical about spirituality in general because I value results in life and I know science can and has brought us a lot of results in the real world. The benefits of certain spiritual practices are much less apparent as that's a case by case. Whereas we have all benefited from technology.

My mother did Reiki on me when I was younger at in worked. But it my head like I don't even know what to think anymore. Like I can name a coincidence but bro that's my grandma I don't think shed lie to me.