Single woman feeling stuck

[Carl-Richard]

3 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

I saw you live in Denmark which is a small country which might be a contributing factor. If you moved somewhere bigger like the US maybe it would be easier to find someone compatible just a thought 

Unless you have a list of like 20 specific criteria for compatibility and you're scanning all the geographic locations on Tinder in your country, and unless you live in a really small city (less than 50 000 people), I don't think that matters. You can only meet so many people in your life, and most people (probably still) like to meet locally.

Edited August 24 by Carl-Richard

[Sugarcoat]

6 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Unless you have a list of like 20 specific criteria for compatibility and you're scanning all the geographic locations on Tinder in your country, and unless you live in a really small city (less than 50 000 people), I don't think that matters. You can only meet so many people in your life, and most people probably (still) like to meet locally.

I see your point 

Edited August 24 by Sugarcoat

[Salvijus]

Not sure about me being into a relationship but if you ever need a spiritual friend here I am. Probably the most spiritual person you are going to meet for a long time haha. 

[Leo Gura]

8 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

the most spiritual person you are going to meet

How spiritual of you.

[Chadders]

@Nadia Starseed Why not start going to yoga class? It’s a good place to meet spiritual men who are also interested in self development. Yoga goes hand in hand with both

[Nadia Starseed]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

It's simply a numbers game. You gotta date a lot of people to find the right one if you care about values alignment.

The secret to most people's matchmaking is that they don't have any standards and don't care about values alignment. So that makes it easy in the short term. But of course that's why their relationships crash and burn in the long term.

The solution is to just date more people who roughly align with your values.

Seems like what you want is a more ambitious man. Hippie or New Age type men could lack ambition.

Of course conscious partners are gonna be rare. The more conscious the more rare, which how the whole system works. People don't raise their consciousness simply because they don't wanna be alone.

Maybe it's because I'm an introvert, but it's exhausting for me to date, unless I already know there's a possible match, so I know that I can be myself, not having to pretend or waste time. I'm very selective about my time as well. Do you know what I mean?

Thank you for giving your opinion - I should maybe try a dating site for more ambitious people then.

Indeed I find it hard to find consious people - and I think you're right about, that it's because people are afraid of being alone.
I've seen examples of that multiple times, especially since 2020 and in the debates about vaxx (Quote: "I have taken it, because everyone else took it - I don't want to risk being the weird one and only one not taking it")
 

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Austin is the San Fran of Texas. It's full of queer hippie weirdos.

One time in Austin I saw a 70 year old naked man in a g-string riding down the road on a bicycle and he didn't look outa place.

Sounds like just my type, do you know his name or something? 
 

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

I mean you seem very mental and "elsewhere" in general.

Could you please elaborate on what you mean by this?

[Nadia Starseed]

22 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Not sure about me being into a relationship but if you ever need a spiritual friend here I am. Probably the most spiritual person you are going to meet for a long time haha. 

Thank you I am curious about what it means to you and what it involves for you to be spiritual?

[mmKay]

@Nadia Starseed
So what you're saying is you're looking for a stage green guy who hasn’t skipped over stage orange. Or in simpler terms, a hippy entrepreneur.

To find someone like that, you'll need socialize and expose yourself a lot to the environments where such people can be found. Stage Green is all about community, sustainability, and personal growth, while Stage Orange is centered around ambition, innovation, and individual success. Look for places and events that combine these vibes.

Here are some ideas that I brainstormed together with chatgpt for you:

Ecstatic Dance Events
Dance events promoting self-expression and community.

Contact Dance Workshops ( personal recomendation )
Dance workshops focused on non-verbal communication and connection.

Biodanza Classes
Dance workshops for emotional expression and connection.

Tantra Workshops
Workshops exploring intimacy, self-awareness, and growth.

Sound Healing Circles
Group sessions using sound for emotional and physical healing.

Healing Circles
Community gatherings for emotional and spiritual support.

Holistic Health Expos
Events showcasing alternative medicine and holistic wellness.

Yoga Retreats
Retreats combining spirituality, health, and community.

Hippy Raves
Music and dance events with a free-spirited, communal vibe.

Campervanning Meetups
Gatherings for campervan enthusiasts blending travel and community.

Meditation Retreats
Retreats centered on mindfulness and inner peace.

Psychedelic Retreats
Retreats for exploring consciousness and personal growth.

Sustainable Living Festivals
Festivals focused on environmental sustainability and community.

Conscious Entrepreneurship Conferences
Conferences for entrepreneurs with a focus on positive impact.

Burning Man
Creative festival emphasizing self-expression and community.

Co-Living Spaces
Communal living setups for like-minded individuals.

Adventure Retreats
Retreats offering personal growth through adventurous activities.

Digital Nomad Meetups
Networking events for location-independent entrepreneurs.

Environmental Activism Events
Gatherings focused on environmental causes and community.

Farmers Markets
Community markets featuring organic and local produce.

Art Installations or Interactive Art Spaces
Creative spaces attracting community-oriented individuals.

Permaculture Workshops
Workshops on sustainable agriculture and self-sufficient living.

Intentional Communities
Residential setups prioritizing shared values and sustainability.

Eco-Villages
Communities built around eco-friendly living and sustainability.

Urban Gardening Workshops
Workshops for city-based gardening enthusiasts.

Green Technology Conferences
Conferences on sustainable technology and innovation.

Sustainable Fashion DIY Workshops
Workshops on creating eco-friendly fashion.

Sustainable Architecture Tours
Tours showcasing eco-friendly architectural designs.

Forest Bathing Experiences
Guided nature walks for mindfulness and connection with nature.

Mindful Running Clubs
Running groups focused on mindfulness and community.

Healing Circles
Gatherings focused on emotional healing and support.

Vision Quests
Intensive experiences for personal transformation and meaning.

Art Therapy Workshops
Creative sessions for emotional and psychological healing.

DIY Solar Power Workshops
Hands-on workshops on solar energy and sustainability.

Holistic Veterinary Clinics
Clinics focused on alternative pet care and wellness.

Plant-Based Cooking Classes
Classes on plant-based nutrition and cooking.

Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) Gatherings
Events supporting local, sustainable agriculture.

Local Artisan Markets
Markets featuring handmade goods and local crafts.

Wilderness Survival Courses
Courses on survival skills and self-reliance in nature.

Biohacking Meetups
Gatherings focused on health optimization and performance.

Community Repair Cafés
Events where people repair items together to promote sustainability.

Pop-Up Conscious Cafés
Temporary cafés with a focus on ethical and sustainable practices.

Minimalist Living Expos
Events centered on minimalism and simple living.

Resilience Training Workshops
Workshops for building mental and emotional resilience.

Social Impact Incubators
Programs supporting socially-driven entrepreneurs.

Vision Quests
Deep personal exploration experiences often involving wilderness.

Art Therapy Workshops
Creative therapy sessions aimed at emotional and psychological healing.

Conscious Clubbing
Alcohol-free parties focused on community and healthy living.

Zero-Waste Events
Gatherings promoting waste reduction and environmental consciousness.

Ethical Investment Groups
Meetings for socially responsible investing.

Mindful Tech Conferences
Conferences on technology and mindfulness.

Crowdfunding Campaign Launch Parties
Events celebrating new ventures and entrepreneurial spirit.

Ethical Travel Meetups
Gatherings for those interested in responsible travel.

Sustainable Seafood Events
Events focused on responsible and sustainable seafood practices.

Ethical Fashion Shows
Shows featuring eco-friendly and sustainable fashion.

Alternative Music Festivals
Festivals showcasing underground and non-mainstream music genres.

Social Impact Hackathons
Collaborative events for developing solutions to social issues.

Crowdsourced Innovation Events
Gatherings for collaborative problem-solving and innovation.

Green Building Workshops
Workshops on sustainable building practices and materials.

Mindfulness Meditation Groups
Groups practicing mindfulness and meditation together.

Volunteer Vacations
Travel experiences combined with volunteering for social causes.

TLDR : GET YOURSELF OUT THERE WHERE SUCH MEN CAN BE FOUND, and perhaps take a little extra initiative towards meeting men, whatver that means to you. I feel sometimes women are way too passive in their dating life which can sometimes severely backfire

Good luck!

Edited August 24 by mmKay

[Salvijus]

10 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

How spiritual of you.

I didn't say humble lol

[Salvijus]

8 hours ago, Nadia Starseed said:

Thank you I am curious about what it means to you and what it involves for you to be spiritual?

To what extent the Spirit of Truth, Peace and Love determines what you think, feel and do, to that extent you're spiritual. 

Love does not cling

Peace does not wait

Truth does not oppose. 

The three are but one. 

Love blesses all things

Peace surrounds all things

Truth affirms all things. 

Therein is the wisdom of all things.

Heeding not for any other way, all things are served. 

Seeing not but reality, all things are redeemed. 

In remembrance of what was once forgotten, the whole creation is glorified. 

As it was, so it is, so shall it always be. 

Amen. 

Edited August 25 by Salvijus

[Buck Edwards]

You will not find them in online spiritual communities. You can find them in retreat resorts and places. I'm not talking hippy psychedelic weird type though. 

Edited August 24 by Buck Edwards

[TheEnigma]

Don't look for someone equal, and don't look for one person to fulfill all your needs. Have different friends for each of your needs, and still have the guy to fulfill whatever only men can do for you. Even in the more traditional times, a wife and a husband had a community. A woman would have her friends, cousins, relatives, siblings and other people to interact with. Humans were not meant to rely on just one person for everything. For example I love talking about clothes and cats etc but the men I dated never found interest in that. That's okay, so I had my own hobbies and found communities or friends for those needs. No one is a superhuman that can fulfill every need nor will any one person be likeminded enough to fit you for everything. So if you like make up for example, then you find people that are likeminded in that way. And then if you like animals, then find someone else for that. A man, isn't some all rounded 'God' (though we wish they were).

[QVx]

@Nadia Starseed thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts and feelings.

Unfortunately, what you seek is a dream rather than reality. You want things to be a certain way with a relationship, however these needs are born from the lack of self love.

My advice would be to take some time to look more closely as to why you want certain things from a partner. A key standout for me is the vaccination comment; why does it truly matter if one has received a vaccination? Of course, there will be lots of personal reasons and beliefs, although none of these will be what they actually are.

The more requirements and needs you place upon a relationship, the further you get away from true love. You are ironically getting in your own way when it comes to love. If you want a more pragmatic way to approach your dating conundrum then just focus on finding someone who you enjoy spending time with; don’t make it about your beliefs and values.

Best of luck

Edited August 25 by QVx

[eos_nyxia]

14 hours ago, Nadia Starseed said:

I find it challenging to find a likeminded partner.
I'm looking for a person who is not just critical of the system, but also someone who's having more knowledge in the field and living a healthy life - but I tend to atract men who's not critical and aware at all - or men who's already critical of the system, but then does nothing for their mental and/or physical health.

Have you tried going to meet-ups and places where people of similar interests would congregate?  (e.g. conferences, retreats, etc. These types of events only tend to attract people who are more seriously invested in said interests, as opposed to an online group where the interest is more likely to be a fleeting one, as monetary investment and a time commitment have a way of filtering out people, for better and for worse.)

My brother, for instance, met his now-fiancee at an extended meditation retreat.

Quote

I've really tried to be open and use positive manifestation techniques, but I keep attracting vague or lost men - primarily types who love bacon, Playstation and looking for a mother to tell them what to do with their lives.
My ex-boyfriend for many years was just such a type and I found it enormously exhausting that I had to guide him all the time and take care of everything in the home, lend him money, etc. It was unequal, so therefore I am very aware of similar traits, so I do not risk the same again.

In no particular order:

• "law of attraction" sometimes has a nasty way of facilitating your "lowest common denominator" reality, not your aspirational one. As an analogy, water also flows down toward the lowest possible place due to gravity and your proverbial bucket (the reality you wish to attract/ create), a mirror reflection/ refraction of your mind itself, is leaky for whatever reason. Often this has something to do with past trauma, and if not, then definitely it's strongly ruled by the residue of our social conditioning and what we've been conditioned to accept as tolerable, unavoidable, necessary, etc. This is a huge reason why people get into "shadow work" in the first place.
• Unfortunately, many women get stuck with this lesson in their intimate relationships with men: ...that our closest relationships ought NOT to be a charitable cause, including after when a relationship starts to become very serious and established. Realistically, too much charity with the wrong people in an overly close way without boundaries results in all of you sinking to the lowest common denominator. With many men, "sticking it out" in the name of being loving and virtuous is not worth what you reap from it. There is a difference between helping someone who needs help, who you truly believe deserves it, who generally respects and is conscientious of your time, energy, and purpose (even if they fall into a bad place), and also you have both explicitly agreed to that dynamic (not that it devolved into something deeply undesired over time).
• IMO, if you don't want to do that mommy stuff, you have to shut it down ASAP. Shut it down, walk away, and don't apologize for it, for wanting whatever it is that you truly want. Don't let people waste your time or let others make you feel bad about it. After all, if the tables were switched, would they care or would they be content enough to keep draining you? Unconscientious takers often don't care.  (Though it seems you've already got that down pat.)  I have noticed a reoccurring pattern in heterosexual relationships: a draining man easily drains you of your radiance, your beauty (not just your physical beauty and youth, though it could be that too, as the "spirit" reflected through the body), your health, your drive and purpose. Like literally, it drains our life force.   And for what positive ultimate benefit for either you or him? Keep in mind that making him complacent, comfortable, and satiated for absolutely no higher goal or purpose isn't actually in his ultimate best interest either.

Other than character (including sufficiently similarly aligned values and priorities), IMO both people need a strong sense of reciprocity and what feels balanced and sustainable for the both of you individually. You need your partner to fundamentally not be ok with you being drained, neglected, stressed, unsupported, etc., while he takes and gets to be comfortable and even prospers while you suffer.

Edited August 25 by eos_nyxia

[eos_nyxia]

Quote

A bit more information about me:
I am an introvert and love reading books, spending time in nature and meeting like-minded people to talk about deeper topics.
I never go to discos or bars to drink alcohol and I have only tried it 5 times in my life, feeling it to be empty and purposeless afterwards.
I've tried to do my hair more often and wear make-up - but it just doesn't appeal to me to mask myself as something I'm not. I love the natural look for myself and others. I am also not interested in having many shoes, bags or branded goods.
I am a reflective person who is also good at socializing.
But I find it difficult to understand why it is so difficult to find an equal partner.

A few years ago I confided the above to a male therapist, who told me that less than 1% of the world's population is what I am looking for. I fear that he is right.

A few other thoughts:

• Is Denmark (you're Danish, right?) not a great place for what you're interested in? I thought the Nordic countries all skewed more liberal, even hippie-ish...
• Maybe city/ suburban boys just ain't your thing....               (they're not my thing either)

 

[Schizophonia]

11 hours ago, Nadia Starseed said:

 

Could you please elaborate on what you mean by this?

Some things happened in you children-hood that have gave you the feeling of being a sh**, being tiny, being miserable or something like that. There is also some family problems with money.

Given that you has no been able to deal with this energy, it has been repressed into the unconscious and is now projected into the outside, so there is now a split:

1)The energetic polarity is projected on the outside (you in denied) : and that you will automatically manifest. In other words

          -Vulnerable people (sheeps who has been vaxed (i'm not even provax, some others (twisted) inner worlds will create provax personas), who have money issues, who are employees...)

          -Peoples who want power "by the top" (to become rich, have real estate and comfort in general)

2)The polarity you identify with (your persona, by reaction formation).

          -Someone invulnerable (It's actually a strategy to gaining power "by the bottom" which is actually accepted in your system, that's why you can identify, but it's still a strategy to win/keep power !

          -Someone who don't need money (because for some reasons it's bad in your system, intuitively i would have think to a family problem with money as i said, but i'm too tired and still not clairvoyant enough for now anyway eheh).

 

To return to your problem of loneliness :

As you (subconsciously) fear not being fu****** enough (this doesn't have to be virtually true, these are all unconscious processes that date back to childhood), you engage yourself from the pov where you think you are the strongest.

Automatically, you will meet you mirror, in other words you in deny, in other words people who are looking for power and use their "convictions" for that, in other words people who feel LOST. (Personas are an infinite spectrum stacked, like a russian doll, you can see people who look for power, simply people who accept being powerless and accepting it).

What do you will find on actualize ? People who use spirituality go feel strong and not assuming being actually "lost" (in terms of money, health, relationships), your mirror, again.

What mirror are you attracting right now ? ME, what am i representing ? SOMEONE WHO USE HIS KNOWLEDGE TO GAIN POWER. It's always in front of you.

 

If i was you, i would simply try to evolve to a less dissociated, more "magnetic" persona. Accepting you look for a relationship essentially to chill, have sexe, cuddles, share pleasures in general, give up the idea to use relationships to prove to the world that you are not a lost sh**.

Actually, if you start to marry this pov, you will start to naturally meet (manifesting ?) guys who are more serious guy, because you will lose the need for the world to show you that you are someone so serious, who makes efforts, who is cultured, who is not a sheep blah blah blah blah; by presenting you the opposite.

It don't will be a subject anymore.

Edited August 25 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

@Nadia Starseed Mea culpa if i seem brutal.

I think it's like that i must talk to push people to move.

I'm also convinced that overly polite messages are just a projection of the desire not to be disturbed. I accept being disturbed if it can make me move.

Edited August 25 by Schizophonia

[Rishabh R]

@Nadia Starseed sorry to hear this about you. Seeing this post I realised that girls suffer too in the realm of dating. I was jealous of girls getting into relationships easily.

[QVx]

34 minutes ago, Rishabh R said:

@Nadia Starseed sorry to hear this about you. Seeing this post I realised that girls suffer too in the realm of dating. I was jealous of girls getting into relationships easily.

It’s almost like we are all suffering the same problems, it’s just we are so wrapped up in ourselves, we can’t see it.

[Rishabh R]

@QVx yeah absolutely people suffer due to same problems upto varying degree and also being wrapped in ourselves which is referred to as selfishness maximises suffering.