Single woman feeling stuck

[Rishabh R]

@QVx yeah absolutely people suffer due to same problems upto varying degree and also being wrapped in ourselves which is referred to as selfishness maximises suffering.

[QVx]

49 minutes ago, Rishabh R said:

@QVx yeah absolutely people suffer due to same problems upto varying degree and also being wrapped in ourselves which is referred to as selfishness maximises suffering.

How does one overcome this? 

[Atb210201]

On 24/08/2024 at 10:41 PM, Leo Gura said:

It's simply a numbers game. You gotta date a lot of people to find the right one if you care about values alignment.

The secret to most people's matchmaking is that they don't have any standards and don't care about values alignment. So that makes it easy in the short term. But of course that's why their relationships crash and burn in the long term.

The solution is to just date more people who roughly align with your values.

But what are we trying to align with when our values keep changing as we grow and evolve?

The secret to lasting relationships is not compatibility it's just love

If you love anyone enough you'll compromise everything for them

Love works in mysterious ways

No two people can be compatible on every level

Although if it's important to you it's fine looking for a more compatible partner for less resistance

 

Edited August 26 by Atb210201

[Rishabh R]

@QVx by understanding that everyone suffers but some cope with it in better ways than others.

[Leo Gura]

9 hours ago, Atb210201 said:

The secret to lasting relationships is not compatibility it's just love

If you love anyone enough you'll compromise everything for them

No, this is nonsense.

That will never work. Love is never enough.

You can't be in a relationship with something that contradicts your core values and needs.

Edited August 26 by Leo Gura

[Atb210201]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

No, this is nonsense.

That will never work. Love is never enough.

You can't be in a relationship with something that contradicts your core values and needs.

Well maybe your core value is Love

Then what about that huh😏

[Leo Gura]

11 minutes ago, Atb210201 said:

Well maybe your core value is Love

Then what about that huh😏

No one's core value is Love.

People say that, but they are full of shit and don't comprehend what Love means.

[Atb210201]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

No one's core value is Love.

People say that, but they are full of shit and don't comprehend what Love means.

Alright I don't know then you know better Master😏

[AION]

I think it is a common problem. People want their partners to be 1 in all. A best friend, a spiritual partner, good sex partner and much more. It is just very rare to find such a good fit in multiple dimensions. At the end you have to play with the toys god is giving you. 

Edited August 26 by AION

[RendHeaven]

On 8/25/2024 at 3:39 AM, Nadia Starseed said:

I never go to discos or bars to drink alcohol and I have only tried it 5 times in my life, feeling it to be empty and purposeless afterwards.

Haha, sounds like me

On 8/25/2024 at 3:39 AM, Nadia Starseed said:

I've tried to do my hair more often and wear make-up - but it just doesn't appeal to me to mask myself as something I'm not

I adore girls who put in effort to look cute.

Think of makeup as a mild enhancer, and not a mask.

I'm sure minimalistic/natural-ingredient makeup exists.

The most important part is just accenting the eyelashes and eyebrows. This slight move can make a girl so much more magnetic.

Skin should be bare and naturally glowing from healthy diet, sleep, etc.

Foundation/bronzer/blush/concealer/lipstick/eyeshadow and such are mostly damaging/redundant/fake/ripoffs

[RendHeaven]

On 8/25/2024 at 4:11 AM, Leo Gura said:

People don't raise their consciousness simply because they don't wanna be alone.

I ought to hang this on my wall.

This explains a lot.

[RendHeaven]

On 8/25/2024 at 2:29 PM, Lila9 said:

They often enjoy having sex with women- usually in a way that aligns with pornographic standards, which I perceive as a form of violence.

Is it so wrong to enjoy """pornographic""" sex??

It's one of the most genuine expressions of desire IMO.

Animalistic, reckless abandon. Everything is thrown to the side in favor of FUCKING.

"b-b-but you're treating her like a bag of meat! you're not seeing her for her soul! "

Says who?

She's got a lotta animal in her that can only be reached this way.

Not everyone is an enlightened tantric master like you lmao

[Lila9]

3 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

Is it so wrong to enjoy """pornographic""" sex??

It's one of the most genuine expressions of desire IMO.

Animalistic, reckless abandon. Everything is thrown to the side in favor of FUCKING.

"b-b-but you're treating her like a bag of meat! you're not seeing her for her soul! "

Says who?

She's got a lotta animal in her that can only be reached this way.

Not everyone is an enlightened tantric master like you lmao

This is not as fun for women as it is for men.  
Porn sex is too sterile, technical, performative, male pleasure-oriented, and very orange. There is a clear separation between the male and the female, with a hierarchy.  
There is no connection between it and animalistic sex, in fact, they are opposites lol

This is very penetration oriented and very quick as many men cum too fast for the women to orgasm (though there are methods and techniques to prevent that but some men are too proud and in denial to consider it).

This type of sex, in the long term, makes women more frigid and closed, because they feel like an object of masturbation tool for the man, not in alignment with their sexual energy but the opposite. Woman can’t both perform and and have pleasure, her mind has to be focused on one thing. If she performs for the man, even as a passive doll, she may enjoy the performance like an actor who got praised and validated by his audience but less from the sexual act, because she is not in her body when she performs but in her mind, thinking how she looks in the man’s eyes. And the man judges her (and himself) according to the pornographic standard he absorbed from life long porn watching, because this is what his mind has been conditioned to be aroused by.

Could you be open to another sex which is not porn sex?

In which the mind is less present, there is more connection to the body and emotions, more truth and open communication, and there is no hierarchy or prescribed plan, only play, experience, and expression.

It’s less performance-oriented and fully focused on pleasure and exploration rather than aesthetics. 

This is basic understanding for anyone interested in sex as something more significant than a performance for a phantom audience or as a way to inflate their fragile sense of masculinity, a more meaningful experience of play expression and creativity.

Sexual energy is playful and creative, not robotic, analytical and performative. Porn and patriarchy have been corrupted sexuality.

This understanding doesn’t require any expertise in tantra (which I don’t have, but I am curious), only basic critical thinking of the porn industry and some common sense.

Edited August 27 by Lila9

[enchanted]

On 24/08/2024 at 2:39 PM, Nadia Starseed said:

Important: I am not trying to provoke anyone! And I'm not trying to make anyone wrong or myself better than others!

For many years, my greatest interests have been awareness-topics like for example spirituality, self-development, diet + nutritional supplements, hormones, natural medicine. I am also critical of the system and have never been able to see the point in a 9-5 job for small money. I am self-employed today, but are also living of my savings and investments.

I find it challenging to find a likeminded partner.
I'm looking for a person who is not just critical of the system, but also someone who's having more knowledge in the field and living a healthy life - but I tend to atract men who's not critical and aware at all - or men who's already critical of the system, but then does nothing for their mental and/or physical health.

I've really tried to be open and use positive manifestation techniques, but I keep attracting vague or lost men - primarily types who love bacon, Playstation and looking for a mother to tell them what to do with their lives.
My ex-boyfriend for many years was just such a type and I found it enormously exhausting that I had to guide him all the time and take care of everything in the home, lend him money, etc. It was unequal, so therefore I am very aware of similar traits, so I do not risk the same again.

I am an active opponent of the forced procedure regarding vaxx and I am very open about that. I am convinced that unfortunately it also excludes many men who might actually be interested. And I'm sorry about that. Because it's just a big part of my life, being critical of the system, cook from scratch at home, avoiding the doctor and instead healing myself, meditating, taking food supplements, for example.
I am also very aware of the importance of hormones and I have great awareness in the field of children - for example I do not think it is healthy for children to be kept in an institution from 7 in the morning until late in the afternoon - and I know a lot about how unhealthy it is for their nervous system and psyche.

I really believe that it is easy to attract an equal partner when you are true to yourself and show who you are. - But unfortunately that's just not my experience.

I have joined groups on Facebook for like-minded, unvaccinated, spiritually interested and similiar - and have contacted people who might seem like my type. But either it quickly runs into the sand and seems demotivating to write a lot together online - or they start telling me that they are in debt and hope to find a woman who wants to work a lot so we can buy a big car and a luxury house together - and that's just not where I'm at in my life.
I do not find joy in striving for material goods and I do not want to work all the time. I have already found a good balance in my daily life, when it comes to work, freetime and so on.

A bit more information about me:
I am an introvert and love reading books, spending time in nature and meeting like-minded people to talk about deeper topics.
I never go to discos or bars to drink alcohol and I have only tried it 5 times in my life, feeling it to be empty and purposeless afterwards.
I've tried to do my hair more often and wear make-up - but it just doesn't appeal to me to mask myself as something I'm not. I love the natural look for myself and others. I am also not interested in having many shoes, bags or branded goods.
I am a reflective person who is also good at socializing.
But I find it difficult to understand why it is so difficult to find an equal partner.

A few years ago I confided the above to a male therapist, who told me that less than 1% of the world's population is what I am looking for. I fear that he is right.

Maybe I'm blind to something?
Maybe today's society is just affected by trends and tendencies that make most people uninterested in development and responsibility for their own lives?
I feel stuck.

I'm sorry nobody told you but Superman's dead 💀 sorry you had to find out this way.

[meta_male]

On 24.8.2024 at 8:39 PM, Nadia Starseed said:

I am an active opponent of the forced procedure regarding vaxx and I am very open about that. I am convinced that unfortunately it also excludes many men who might actually be interested.

Is this really about him also being unvaxxed or more about finding a guy with a lot more backbone than the guys you've met so far?

[bambi]

12 hours ago, Lila9 said:

This is not as fun for women as it is for men.  
Porn sex is too sterile, technical, performative, male pleasure-oriented, and very orange. There is a clear separation between the male and the female, with a hierarchy.  
There is no connection between it and animalistic sex, in fact, they are opposites lol

This is very penetration oriented and very quick as many men cum too fast for the women to orgasm (though there are methods and techniques to prevent that but some men are too proud and in denial to consider it).

This type of sex, in the long term, makes women more frigid and closed, because they feel like an object of masturbation tool for the man, not in alignment with their sexual energy but the opposite. Woman can’t both perform and and have pleasure, her mind has to be focused on one thing. If she performs for the man, even as a passive doll, she may enjoy the performance like an actor who got praised and validated by his audience but less from the sexual act, because she is not in her body when she performs but in her mind, thinking how she looks in the man’s eyes. And the man judges her (and himself) according to the pornographic standard he absorbed from life long porn watching, because this is what his mind has been conditioned to be aroused by.

Could you be open to another sex which is not porn sex?

In which the mind is less present, there is more connection to the body and emotions, more truth and open communication, and there is no hierarchy or prescribed plan, only play, experience, and expression.

It’s less performance-oriented and fully focused on pleasure and exploration rather than aesthetics. 

This is basic understanding for anyone interested in sex as something more significant than a performance for a phantom audience or as a way to inflate their fragile sense of masculinity, a more meaningful experience of play expression and creativity.

Sexual energy is playful and creative, not robotic, analytical and performative. Porn and patriarchy have been corrupted sexuality.

This understanding doesn’t require any expertise in tantra (which I don’t have, but I am curious), only basic critical thinking of the porn industry and some common sense.

How many sexual partners have you had Lila? 

[Schizophonia]

4 hours ago, Salvijus said:

[Removed]

It looks like you have an incline to sugarcoating your agression and your libido in general.

 

Edited August 27 by Leo Gura

[Leo Gura]

Reminder: don't troll new members. Cut them some slack.

Be welcoming to newbies.

Edited August 27 by Leo Gura

[Salvijus]

What happened? Did I say something wrong? Because my comment disappeared

[Salvijus]

37 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

It looks like you have an incline to sugarcoating your agression and your libido in general.

 

 if you say so

Edited August 27 by Salvijus