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oldhandle

How do I make peace with the fact that I need to forego dating for a while until...

14 posts in this topic

...I achieve my purpose, or get my business running sustainably? I always want to date and have sex, but I am realizing I'm getting old (35) and my window of opportunity to make my dreams happen is narrowing. If I try to juggle having sex and relationships, dating, all the mental headgames of courting a woman etc right now with building the business, I don't think either aspect of those two aspects my life will be fulfilling - instead I need to just work on the business, get it going, get in a position of success, and then start with dating and women again from that position.

But I always still want sex and dating. How do I make peace with this situation and just avoid the "trap" (as Leo can put it) of women?

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I’m in a similar situation. What am I doing? I’m really prioritizing authenticity and integrity. I think these kind of things resolve on their own if you really put your energy into the right places. You sound very contracted. I think in situations like this we have to prioritize expansion. Look into the book “the big leap.” Look into resolving any inner issues you have and make an effort to live in your zone of genius. If you have the time and ability to date, then do it, but do it in balance and with respects to these other elements of your life that need attention. Everyone is different. Maybe you dabble in extremes and just want to grind. That works for some people. Unless I see that as what’s needed in the moment, I don’t do it. Basically what I’m saying is look to resolve any issues fogging your clarity in terms of questioning yourself and doubting yourself, and basically you will then come to a clear answer on your own over questions like this. I don’t believe the best relationships are so involved as you say. I don’t see how it would overly get in your way from walking your path. Find someone on the same path. 

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I reread what you said and I would really question why you believe your window of opportunity is closing. This right here I think is the thread you should go down and do self inquiry on. 

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Posted (edited)

You could hit dating hard first, get a girlfriend, and then work on your biz with her around.

It doesn't take long to get a girlfriend. Maybe 6-8 months.

This way you could work on your biz, have sex, and gain relationship xp.

Edited by Leo Gura

You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You could hit dating hard first, get a girlfriend, and then work on your biz with her around.

It doesn't take long to get a girlfriend. Maybe 6-8 months.

This way you could work on your biz, have sex, and gain relationship xp.

I don't even have the money or time for dating. You need to be able to take women on dates and stuff, I literally can't, I need to build the business and then be able to do that. 

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They are Not in conflict. Normal people dont make dating or sex as is like something you have to Focus like is an assault to a bank and you cant think on anything else.

You probably just clueless on how to do It, and you are using this business thing as an excuse. 

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It's really not accurate. I've been with at least 80 women, I can date if I want to, I'm good at courtship, all that shit, I just don't have enough money right now and I'm just gonna get lost in the sauce of dating/sex to my detriment and not get my business finally put together if I try to balanced them all.

Anyway, I don't think anyone can properly advise me on this. I know what I need to do, and only I know my life situation. Thanks anyway.

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2 hours ago, oldhandle said:

I don't even have the money or time for dating. You need to be able to take women on dates and stuff, I literally can't, I need to build the business and then be able to do that. 

The cost of dates is so minimal. You can pay $10 for a date.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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I paid for your life purpose course, it seems kinda difficult to follow through on everything you said in there building my business and also balance that with dating and then maybe securing a girlfriend which really, just takes a lot of time and money, truly. You know it doesn't just cost 10 dollars to date and then that's the entire expense of having a girlfriend, or, somehow, maybe you don't. 

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30 minutes ago, oldhandle said:

I paid for your life purpose course, it seems kinda difficult to follow through on everything you said in there building my business and also balance that with dating and then maybe securing a girlfriend which really, just takes a lot of time and money, truly. You know it doesn't just cost 10 dollars to date and then that's the entire expense of having a girlfriend, or, somehow, maybe you don't. 

Mate. A walk on a nature trail is literally $0. A drive around town is literally $0. Walking into bookstores and into a library is literally $0. All I am hearing is excuses. It sounds like you don’t want a girlfriend that bad enough, which is entirely fine.

If it came down to it, which one matters more to you: Business or Relationship? 


“Our most valuable resource is not time, but rather it is consciousness itself. Consciousness is the basis for everything, and without it, there could be no time and no resource possible. It is only through consciousness and its cultivation that one’s passions, one’s focus, one’s curiosity, one’s time, and one’s capacity to love can be actualized and lived to the fullest.” - r0ckyreed

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Posted (edited)

Life doesn’t work like that.  Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face. You just have to roll with the punches. Actually dating can fuel your motivation and create synergy in your life. Recently I had a break up and that was a nuclear bomb in terms of energy. 

Edited by AION

Eckhart Tolle — Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world

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Posted (edited)

5 hours ago, oldhandle said:

and then maybe securing a girlfriend which really, just takes a lot of time and money, truly. You know it doesn't just cost 10 dollars to date and then that's the entire expense of having a girlfriend, or, somehow, maybe you don't. 

Look man, there are dudes right now who are using their girlfriends to pay for their rent. And you are here making excuses why you can't get a gf.

If a girl likes you, you can make her buy you shit. Not that I encourage that sorta behavior, but I say this just to challenge your limiting beliefs.

You don't need to wine and dine girls to get a girlfriend. If you give her good sex she will stick around for a long time.

Edited by Leo Gura

You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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22 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You don't need to wine and dine girls to get a girlfriend. If you give her good sex she will stick around for a long time.

What is Good Sex?

I'm sure you have interesting things to say about that


God-Realize, this is First Business. Know that unless I live properly, this is not possible.

There is this body, I should know the requirements of my body. This is first duty. We have obligations towards others, loved ones, family, society, etc. Without material wealth we cannot do these things, for that a professional duty.

There is Mind; mind is tricky. Its higher nature should be nurtured, then Mind becomes Virtuous and Conscious. When all Duties are continuously fulfilled, then life becomes steady. In this steady life God is available; via 5-MeO-DMT, ... Living in Self-Love, Realizing I am Infinity & I am God

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3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Look man, there are dudes right now who are using their girlfriends to pay for their rent. And you are here making excuses why you can't get a gf.

If a girl likes you, you can make her buy you shit. Not that I encourage that sorta behavior, but I say this just to challenge your limiting beliefs.

You don't need to wine and dine girls to get a girlfriend. If you give her good sex she will stick around for a long time.

Ok, well, interesting perspective, thanks.

I'm pretty good at eating pussy lmao

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