Die Alone

[Applegarden8]

@joeyi99 the solution is complicated, yet practical and achievable.

You need to tackle it from different ways.

Some of it I can't help you with like pickup, going for it, meeting people, I am not good in this area. But!

A part of shadow work, limiting beliefs, deep acceptance and reflection about the nature of death and yes, being alone and dying alone is something I would look into as it helps to build massive inner game when it comes to setting proper expectations. Of course, experience with the opposite sex also gives some of the necessary foundation.

Good luck.

[Raze]

On 8/21/2024 at 2:51 PM, museumoftrees said:

Bro @joeyi99, I watched your approach video and it's honestly very solid. That's what pickup looks like. 

No it isn’t, this is beginner level.

[joeyi99]

@Raze What does good game look like then?

[Vercingetorix]

@joeyi99 How do you feel when you approach? Do you get into flow state when approaching? do you enjoy it?

and how "needy" do you feel you are? If you still feel needy I would practice every day for at least 10 minutes imagining the "worst case" scenario about the issue - like that you are forever alone, you're 40 years Old and you are still sill single, no girls will ever love you or want to fuck you, whatever brings the most pain - and accept and let it pass through you, and cry if you can until you release all the neediness and pain that you have inside you.

[Leo Gura]

@joeyi99 Dude, your looks are fine, there's nothing wrong with you. You're just not putting in enough effort at socializing.

The notion that you cannot get laid is ridiculous. You certainly can. You're just doing it wrong.

Edited August 24 by Leo Gura

[Princess Arabia]

On 8/19/2024 at 10:51 PM, joeyi99 said:

I just turned 27 and facing massive despair. 

I’ve tried everything from pick up to even getting a hair transplant with nothing to show for it. I did land a few dates but those were few and far between and led nowhere.

 Here is my example: 

This was a hard birthday for me potentially coming to terms with my fate of dying alone and “unworthiness”.

I certainly cannot take many more years of this and I don’t know what else to do. 

I’m not looking for attention or pity here. I have nowhere else to turn and at the very least need to share this with someone. 
 

Am I perhaps just genetically inferior or predetermined to fail with women? I cannot live without knowing.

I’m not a fool to fall into the limiting beliefs of blackpill ideology but maybe I don’t fit the “bill” of what women are looking for. 
 

I’ve been told by 6 people over the last year that I’m cute/“good looking”. If that’s the case then why hasn’t anyone taken a chance on me even after I’ve put myself out socially?

It’s become maddening that I cannot figure this out. 
 

Any and all input is appreciated. 
 

Your story is all written in the eyes. It screams HELP!. Loosen up a bit, relax, explore and become comfortable with yourself. You're not a bad looking guy; but looks can get you so far. You won't initially scare women away and they'll talk to you but after they sense the desperation, it'll make them not curious to want to get to know you further. That will take a bit of letting go of the attachment to needing this to work out.

Edited August 24 by Princess Arabia

[Miguel1]

2 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Your story is all written in the eyes. It screams HELP!. Loosen up a bit, relax, explore and become comfortable with yourself. You're not a bad looking guy; but looks can get you so far. You won't initially scare women away and they'll talk to you but after they sense the desperation, it'll make them not curious to want to get to know you further. That will take a bit of letting go of the attachment to needing this to work out.

This.

[Treewatcher]

to share my perspective, I would tell you that it's not your fault. Today, especially in western countries it is very easy to get twisted in the head especially with anything related to social things. What I mean by that is that that for example 100-200 years ago, it would be much less common to struggle socially, have any social pathologies or face big adversity with interacting with fellow humans. 

I believe this is caused by isolating structures in society such as alienating work and single housing, over socialization of youth, generally an unnatural environment for many humans to be mentally healthy. Finally social media has become the crutch for society to cover up the pain of our isolation. With porn alongside it.

I write this not to say that you should adopt a victim mindset, but rather to give you insight as to why you might be struggling with this. When I look at you I see a strong middle-eastern man who has been caged and grinded by canadian (or whichever) society. And freedom lies behind freeing yourself of the shackles in your own mind and environment.

[Thought Art]

@joeyi99 You look fine. Simply get more experience. Yes, it’s scary and uncomfortable and there will be a % of rejection. But, you gotta push through it and take deliberate action.

A technique used in Taoism is to spent time looking the mirror. Work on smiling, making your face glow. Massage the face. Look at the face and say kind words to yourself “I am handsome” “my face is warm, and welcoming” “I am deserving of love and intimiacy” etx

Edited August 24 by Thought Art

[Tenebroso]

I am basically in the same place as you, wondering what is wrong with me and what I am doing wrong? I don't have the answers. I am trying to remain positive and taking each day at a time but it does feel sometimes like you are on the outside looking in to what seems normal and natural for others. Last night I got a bit depressed thinking about a random memory from 10 years ago of a young couple kissing in front of me on a train and wondering what I did wrong to never experience young love. Maybe there is a luck component, sometime I get fatalistic and think maybe it's not meant to be but that kills your overall drive in life, so you have to persist in taking action and finding even small things to be positive about.

[Raze]

@joeyi99 I believe Austen Summers said if you follow his product and don’t get a result he will refund you and give you free coaching until you get succeed, you can try that 

if you still don’t you can seek full enlightenment which should remove any issues with dying alone, you can take the finders course for that.

Edited August 26 by Raze

[Fabio]

On 8/19/2024 at 7:51 PM, joeyi99 said:

I just turned 27 and facing massive despair. 

I’ve tried everything from pick up to even getting a hair transplant with nothing to show for it. I did land a few dates but those were few and far between and led nowhere.

 Here is my example: 

This was a hard birthday for me potentially coming to terms with my fate of dying alone and “unworthiness”.

I certainly cannot take many more years of this and I don’t know what else to do. 

I’m not looking for attention or pity here. I have nowhere else to turn and at the very least need to share this with someone. 
 

Am I perhaps just genetically inferior or predetermined to fail with women? I cannot live without knowing.

I’m not a fool to fall into the limiting beliefs of blackpill ideology but maybe I don’t fit the “bill” of what women are looking for. 
 

I’ve been told by 6 people over the last year that I’m cute/“good looking”. If that’s the case then why hasn’t anyone taken a chance on me even after I’ve put myself out socially?

It’s become maddening that I cannot figure this out. 
 

Any and all input is appreciated. 
 

 

I kinda agree that working on the internal while doing cold approach should be a priority.. More importantly this sense of inadequacy. I found when I feel bad about myself and there was no one to listen to me, I tuned inside, closed my eyes and tried to identify the feelings I am needing, the needs I have that aren't being met and feeling that kinesthetically.  And imagine a conversation in my head with the person I wish was there to comfort me and meet my emotional needs and I would rub my arm or torso as if it was them to comfort myself while I told my frustrations to this person and they validated every thing I was feeling until the pain faded away.  In other words, you imagine someone meeting your emotional needs and learn how to self validate yourself. This can help you be happier and be healing.  You don't want to tell women all your emotional traumas or problems, but its ok to do this privately in your head to connect with yourself and heal. 

In the video when she was going to walk away and the way you said "You're just going to let love slip away like this?" It shows desperation, frustration, and can scare a woman and put her on guard. There's many women, and if you approach her like she's the last woman on earth , she's going to see you have no options.

Towards the end of the video, you started to relax and talk about things you are more passionate about and that's good.  Overall, the approach was ballsy and I salute you for that. When you run up to a girl, try to slow down a little right when you're getting close to her and walk past and turn to her so she doesn't get the feeling that its an emergency.  You want to give her the vibe that you are a safe, fun and an enjoyable person to be around. Dont tell her this unless its in a playful tone,  become it and show it to her.  Its like Owen Cook says " if you can masturbate, then you can change your state enough to get aroused and cum to pixels on a screen or an image in your head. So if you can do that,  you also have the power to control your state so you are fun and charismatic and thinking about things that are fun to you. " This is easier after trauma release work, but can be something you work on now.

Instead of approaching a woman from a place of extracting love from her, realize your internal state has been like a dry well that you could be filling up through things like the exercise I mentioned at the beginning and other trauma healing exercises. Focus on the good in your life, and goals that feel good to you. Take this as a long term game, 27 is not old. You're definitely going to be fine, but do the work. A woman will NOT complete you. Love yourself. 

Edited August 26 by Fabio

[Raze]

Take this challenge and you can make some money and get free coaching

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEQWLSNajYk

 

Edited August 28 by Raze

[Lyubov]

You have a passport? Move to Latin America, Eastern Europe or a place like Bali or Thailand. Learn the language, make international friends. Start filming travel content and your journey and building an audience. Look for ways to get your work online. This is one of the best lifestyles that won't cost you so much $$$ if you value women and want sex with beautiful women in your life.