Die Alone

[joeyi99]

I just turned 27 and facing massive despair. 

I’ve tried everything from pick up to even getting a hair transplant with nothing to show for it. I did land a few dates but those were few and far between and led nowhere.

 Here is my example: 

This was a hard birthday for me potentially coming to terms with my fate of dying alone and “unworthiness”.

I certainly cannot take many more years of this and I don’t know what else to do. 

I’m not looking for attention or pity here. I have nowhere else to turn and at the very least need to share this with someone. 
 

Am I perhaps just genetically inferior or predetermined to fail with women? I cannot live without knowing.

I’m not a fool to fall into the limiting beliefs of blackpill ideology but maybe I don’t fit the “bill” of what women are looking for. 
 

I’ve been told by 6 people over the last year that I’m cute/“good looking”. If that’s the case then why hasn’t anyone taken a chance on me even after I’ve put myself out socially?

It’s become maddening that I cannot figure this out. 
 

Any and all input is appreciated. 
 

[Buck Edwards]

You look okay. You can try making more friends and probably find someone in your close friend circle. Let things flow organically instead of wanting them your way. If you have a positive mindset, sooner or later good things will come. 

 

[Spiritual Warrior]

I'm honestly shocked by this post. I remember watching your infield video a few months back and I was truly inspired and impressed. Ive never opened a girl up that smoothly. I believe it played a role in my recent success with women. 

I also relate to your height issues, I'm 5'5". However, I started dating a girl taller than me, either 5'6" or 5'7" back in January. Nowadays, I actively pursue taller women just for the challenge of it. 

What happened? Why couldn't you use the momentum from that approach in your video to catapult you into the life that you want? 

You can fucking do it, keep pushing yourself, find a way to make it work. 

[Ulax]

@joeyi99 Hey dude, here is my take.

You gotta focus as well on getting results in the fields of meditation, depth psychotherapy, and bodywork. This is a priority.

Also, I'm making assumptions, but I'd place more emphasis on deliberate practice w/ pick up. Namely, getting good theory, doing pick up, then reflecting on your sessions (via field reporting), and then working on specific sticking points. I'm guessing you don't do these things.

You got this mate.

Edited August 20 by Ulax

[joeyi99]

12 minutes ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

I'm honestly shocked by this post. I remember watching your infield video a few months back and I was truly inspired and impressed. Ive never opened a girl up that smoothly. I believe it played a role in my recent success with women. 

I also relate to your height issues, I'm 5'5". However, I started dating a girl taller than me, either 5'6" or 5'7" back in January. Nowadays, I actively pursue taller women just for the challenge of it. 

What happened? Why couldn't you use the momentum from that approach in your video to catapult you into the life that you want? 

You can fucking do it, keep pushing yourself, find a way to make it work. 

I’m glad to hear my efforts (video) had a positive effect on someone at least. 
 

I’m a very positive person with a large vision for life. The only explantation I have is falling victim to creating an identity of unworthiness that tainted subsequent interactions.

It’s utterly humiliating to admit  but I greatly appreciate your encouragement.

[aurum]

12 minutes ago, joeyi99 said:

I’m glad to hear my efforts (video) had a positive effect on someone at least. 
 

I’m a very positive person with a large vision for life. The only explantation I have is falling victim to creating an identity of unworthiness that tainted subsequent interactions.

It’s utterly humiliating to admit  but I greatly appreciate your encouragement.

You definitely have potential. How often are you going out?

[joeyi99]

@Ulax Yes I agree, psychotherapy is must.

I mediated everyday for 3 years straight before I had a “Kundalini awakening” then stopped.

 

What are you referring to with bodywork?

[Marcel]

51 minutes ago, joeyi99 said:

This was a hard birthday for me potentially coming to terms with my fate of dying alone and “unworthiness”.

 

I understand. This process can feel very harsh 

But. You will not die alone. You are 27. You are young and have all the time in the world.

I know I know. You’re probably sick of hearing things of that nature and want results / advice. So Lets actually Analyse.

What is your life like?

What are you doing? 

What are your goals?

What is your intention when dating ( long term, short term, one night stands? )

What is your general emotional state?

Are you working out?

Are you reading books?

The questions I ultimately want to answer are: 

What exactly are you bringing to the table? 

And 

What do you actually want?

Get very very clear on what exactly it is. Picture having it. Feel it and just act as if it’s already the case. 

I know that sounds laughable and like a complete waste of time. But that’s exactly how I met and married my wife.

So you might want to give it a try 😉

 

Edited August 20 by Marcel

[QVx]

To give a different perspective;

I really struggled with social anxiety, even after lots of personal work etc.

It wasn’t until I spent 12 months using acid and DMT to help introspect and unlock what was trapped within my deep consciousness did I receive a significant breakthrough.

If you haven’t considered the mindful use of psychedelics as a pathway to your inner shadow work, then I would highly recommend it.

I have also found weight lifting a great confidence booster when I was starting out.

Be very mindful not to turn either of the above into a crutch. They are tools which can help release inner suffering, giving you the opportunity of to find who you are. The closer you come to who you are, the easier it will be to find love for yourself and others.

[Lyubov]

I think you should dig deeper into your beliefs and really look to resolve your inner issues. A lot of your sentences are filled with self doubt,  not recognizing your inherent and intrinsic unchanging true value and you just seems very defeated and in need of really changing your whole perspective on self growth and how you relate to yourself. I would look into therapy and help with people who know how to spot what areas of your belief system and world view are limiting the flow of wellbeing and energy into your life. I commend you for having done so much and I know going up to girls can be really hard and it definitely takes courage, but I don’t think your issue will be solved by some habit change or practicing social skills. I think deeper inner growth and really getting to know yourself and resolve any issues going back to childhood is what will make finding a girlfriend much easier for you. 

Edited August 20 by Lyubov

[eos_nyxia]

I'm not offering advice since I don't feel qualified to give it:

But even without reading what you wrote, you have your whole life story written in your eyes, like this sense of self-rejection and unlovability. It is very...  real and out there, as if nothing is veiling it. People, especially strangers, likely will shy away from this. If at some moment, it's not your eyes, maybe it's your body posture and language. Perhaps in some moments, you are not so conscious of yourself and how you come off, so something else is shown. Or perhaps you are painfully, paralyzingly self-conscious and that also shows? Maybe there is something contradictory in the way you present yourself, like a sort of cognitive dissonance (for example: trying to appear confident even as you also feel very unconfident), and this can come off as suspicious and untrustworthy with strangers, as in, it makes people's spidey senses go off. Unfortunately.

And if none of my projections are true, say you are super excellent at masking. Still, these deep beliefs about ourselves have a very nasty way of coming out at the end in some sort of self-sabatoge. 

Not sure if any of this rings a bell. (But this is not meant as a criticism against you as a person, really.)

Edited August 20 by eos_nyxia

[NoSelfSelf]

You are surface level thinker you need to go deeper beyond fasades, mind that is original/creative turns them on more than body ever will.

At the end what does your business has to do with turning her on? You dont have game thats the thing...

Edited August 20 by NoSelfSelf

[Consept]

@joeyi99 Hey man, first of all I really respect your bravery in terms of challenging yourself and putting yourself out there. You also seem very positive despite what you say has been a lack of results, it would be easy to fall down the black pill rabbit hole so im glad thats not an option for you. Also your pick up wasnt bad at all, I think id struggle to do cold approach like that, so even that is inspiring. 

But... theres a couple of things i have noticed which i think you need to work on. There is obviously something going on internally in terms of self-worth, I would question whether you actually want a girlfriend at this time or whether you think having a girlfriend will solve your internal issues. The idea being if someone else can love and validate me then i dont need to confront myself internally of not loving and validating myself. You need to accept fully who you are, at the moment it seems you are trying to change who you are to become someone who is 'acceptable'.

These internal issues come out in your pick up, although youve got all the fundamentals covered and it looks good, there is a sub-communication of unworthiness. When you do improve the internal issues you will have a mindset of take it or leave it when interacting because you will realise your own value. An analogy is, if I'm a salesman who knows my product is shit, im going to try and convince you that its actually good but ultimately it will be an inauthentic interaction because im essentially trying to trick you, so i might have a flashy presentation, use all kind of buzzwords, anything i can do to get the sale. Whereas if im a salesman who knows im selling a valuable item, even if the people im selling to dont know the value, all im going to do is present it to them, im not going to try and convince them, all my work has been in developing the item, so my attitude would be more take it or leave it but this is what it is. 

So yeah, work on the internal issues, if you feel unworthy explore why that is, why dont you accept yourself, this is deep work and will take time, but youre young and have it so dont worry. 

[Spiritual Warrior]

1 hour ago, Consept said:

@joeyi99

The idea being if someone else can love and validate me then i dont need to confront myself internally of not loving and validating myself. 

One cannot truly love another without first truly loving oneself 

[Keryo Koffa]

12 minutes ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

One cannot truly love another without first truly loving oneself 

"There is no man who hates but that hatred is reflected outward and made physical

And there is no man who loves but that love is reflected outward and made physical." -Seth

[Ulax]

9 hours ago, joeyi99 said:

@Ulax Yes I agree, psychotherapy is must.

I mediated everyday for 3 years straight before I had a “Kundalini awakening” then stopped.

 

What are you referring to with bodywork?

Yin yoga, trauma release exercises, somatic experiencing. Anything that effectively deals with the trauma stored in your body.

What meditation did you do btw?

Edited August 20 by Ulax

[Raze]

Try getting the David Tian platinum partnership and Adam lyons ace formula or move to Philippines, Thailand, Brazil or Poland 

You can post your infield on the skilled seducer forum to get more advice 

Edited August 20 by Raze

[museumoftrees]

Bro @joeyi99, I watched your approach video and it's honestly very solid. That's what pickup looks like. Although this woman will most likely not follow-up this was a pretty decent approach. You just need to do a lot more of them.

What matters now is that you immerse yourself into approach and summon the power of volume. Keep studying attraction and ruthlessly implement what you learn in your approaches.

I believe in you brother.

[Salvijus]

On 2024-08-20 at 5:51 AM, joeyi99 said:

.

 Here is my example: 

 

Hmm, I pick up fear, discomfort and sense of distrust from her side. There were some moments where she relaxed tho, so that’s good, that means you did something right. Overall it was as good as gets probably. I can't believe people do such things so completely out of the blue. But I live in a cave so what do I know. 

Edited August 21 by Salvijus

[Salvijus]

I've been thinking a bit. 

It's probably counter productive to approach people in such a random place where people are not expecting to be approached. It startles them and makes them put their guard up.

Then the only way for them to trust you and let their guard down is if see the real you without pretending and without putting up an act. That means they hare to see you when you're honest and vulnerable. But instead you seem to approach them with a plan and premeditated structure and jokes. (those were good jokes btw.) All these things don't allow another person to see your genuine side. So they are unable to let their guard down. And hence the result. 

Idk why but this is entertaining to analyze. 

Edited August 21 by Salvijus