It all comes back to one thing: Sex is overrated

[eTorro]

I need to get a couple of disclaimers out of the way before getting into the meat of this post, largely because people tend to lose their shit when you say the three words "Sex is Overrated". First of all, I'm not some religious zealot trying to tell you what you should or shouldn't be doing. In fact, I'm a stone cold atheist. I'm not saying sex is "wrong" or "bad", or that you'll go to hell if you have it. Secondly, I'm not some incel trying to make everyone else feel bad. I've wasted time and money chasing (and paying for) sex in 10 different countries.

I've done everything I ever wanted to do sexually, yet if I had to relive the 50 strongest orgasms I've had in my life, I'd expect that at least 45 of them have come from my own hand. More than that, however, none of those encounters (whether with other people or with myself) have ever added anything of any real value to my life, or made it better in any meaningful way. In fact, within 15 seconds of each of them, I've been thinking something along the lines of "yeah, now what?" Let me be clear: This is not some misogynist MGTOW "women are worthless" post. I love women. It's just that the best times I've ever had with women were with women who I didn't even pursue for sex - largely because we just had better things to do.

For me, the desire for sex has brought absolutely nothing positive to my life at all. In fact, if I could go back in time and choose the sexuality of my younger self, I would choose to remain asexual so I could focus on other things that are more rewarding (both for myself and other people). Honestly, I get more satisfaction from a gym workout, or from riding my bike up a mountain, or taking a hike in nature, than I ever got from an orgasm. Sex might be a useful way to pass the time between these other activities, but that's about all it will ever be.

For all that, the majority of men (and a lot of women as well) are obsessed with how they are perceived by the opposite sex. Men will go to bars and drink themselves dangerously stupid, draining both their bodies and their bank accounts on the pursuit of women who have wasted a lot of time and money (and probably drink themselves just as dangerously stupid) in pursuit of an outcome that will not only disappoint them if it doesn't happen, but is just as likely to disappoint them if it does.

If The Red Pill wasn't so obsessed with getting laid, it would actually be a useful tool for men. I discovered that sub in a dark period in my life, and a lot of the material about improving one's self was extremely valuable in helping me to turn things around. Unfortunately, it was the desire for sex that led me to become a porn addict and go down that dark path in the first instance. I think the reason a lot of the guys on TRP seem so bitter and angry is precisely because they made a lot of changes to their life in pursuit of sex, and ultimately found that it didn't make them any happier.

Then you have MGTOW. On the surface it seems like a sensible movement, one I felt like I identified with for quite a while. Wouldn't it be great to belong to a group who had moved on from this desire to get laid and have found better things to do? Unfortunately, a lot of those guys seem even more bitter than the red pillers. Some time ago I asked a question on MGTOW sub about it, and got a lot of answers that suggested most of those guy hadn't moved on from society's conditioning that suggested they should be chasing sex all the time. Indeed, a quick read through any MGTOW sub/board/whatever will show 90% of the posts to be about women and sex.

Then at the bottom of the food chain we find the black pill/incel guys. These people are so obsessed with sex (or their lack of it) that many of them overlook the fact that they actually have decent lives. A lot of those guys are pampered middle class boys living in the most prosperous economic era the world has ever seen. They could be traveling the world, learning another skill or language, or working on a business idea, but they sit at their computer complaining about their lack of sex. It's sad.

Even among the post on this sub are a lot of people complaining about their lack of sex. The thing is, we live in a time with the longest life expectancies we've ever had, the most material wealth we've ever had (Seriously, you currently have access to material things that even billionaires didn't have 50 years ago), and the most personal freedom we've ever had, and people are worrying about how they are perceived by the opposite sex? "But I'm so lonely" you say? Then go outside, participate in some hobbies and make some friends.

In conclusion, sex might be of some value to someone who is looking to have a child in the next nine months. However, as I'm not one of those people, it really doesn't have any value or use to me at all. I suspect this is the case for most people. Stop obsessing about getting laid, as it really won't make your life any better. Go and find something better to do, and there are lots of better things out there.

[aurum]

6 minutes ago, eTorro said:

I've wasted time and money chasing (and paying for) sex in 10 different countries.

It sounds like you have been chasing extremely shallow forms of sex.

Have you had at least one relationship with strong intimacy and romance?

[Whitney Edwards]

Sex is shallow upfront. But sex with deep intimacy is something else entirely. 

[Whitney Edwards]

To be honest every form of human bliss is overrated. 

[Spiritual Warrior]

Ive only had sex 10 times in my life so far, and with only one person. And it has been very underwhelming. My best orgasms have also been from my hand. 

I may look back at this post and agree with everything that you have said, but as of right now I need to have sex with multiple people so that I can see for myself what it's all about. 

Counterintuitively, if you stop focusing your attention on getting sex, and you put all of your focus on building yourself up as a man, as a human being, the sex will come. 

[aurum]

12 minutes ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

Counterintuitively, if you stop focusing your attention on getting sex, and you put all of your focus on building yourself up as a man, as a human being, the sex will come

There is some truth to that perspective. But it's lacking quite a bit.

Another perspective on this is that you will get what you prioritize. If you want sex, you need to prioritize getting sex and be prepared to compete with other guys who can be ruthless. You can't just sit at home and do a bunch of self-improvement.

[Spiritual Warrior]

6 minutes ago, aurum said:

If you want sex, you need to prioritize getting sex and be prepared to compete with other guys who can be ruthless. You can't just sit at home and do a bunch of self-improvement.

This is very true 

[Keryo Koffa]

Here's your aroace starter pack, welcome to the club!