Going to Friends Wedding

[BlessedLion]

So my best friend from college is getting married and I was invited to the wedding. I have many great memories with this guy, and we were like pb & j during our college days, we even lived together for 3 years. That was about 10 years ago.

 

I'm noticing i'm a bit anxious or nervous about going to the wedding, it may sound selfish but I don't want to disrupt the flow of my meditative lifestyle and i notice that even when i am meditating my mind is worrying about this wedding and having to show up as the new version of myself. The thing is I have changed a lot since then and those people are associated with a darker period of my life. At the same time, I love this guy, and we had a deep friendship, we barely speak now, but it's still all love, we just have very different lives. 

 

I'm also going to be in Mexico the next 3 months for a Yoga Teacher Training and I'm unsure if it will be during that time, if it is, it would be a huge hassle and disruption of flow to try and attend mid-training. 

 

Any advice?

Thanks

[Ulax]

Maybe send a gift but skip the wedding. Instead, meetup with him for a drink/ coffee/ hike.

That way you can meetup with him again and celebrate with him.  However, you don't have to disrupt your schedule or meet up with unwanted people from your past.

[Ulax]

Also, you could use the wedding as a meditative trigger practice.

[Spiritual Warrior]

It seems like you have a very unique lifestyle of disciplined spiritual work. I respect it a lot.

This is not my life, mine is very social, I'm very much involved in my friends lives. I honestly think I enjoy the drama of it all. Maybe one day I'll be like you and prioritize mediation over social group drama. My meditation would certainly go a lot deeper if I wasn't always around my friends. 

For you, I think you need to think about your overarching goals in life. Are your spiritual pursuits so important to you that you're willing to miss a best friend's wedding? Maybe they are. Or will you regret not making time for the loved ones in your life? Maybe you will. 

Let go of the burden of deciding and let the universe decide for you.

[Buck Edwards]

From your post it seems like you're really not into going for this wedding. Then if your heart is not aligned with this thought, don't do it. You can skip the wedding and focus on your meditative practice instead. 

Kudos for focusing on your spiritual practice. You're really on a spiritual path and that's reflected in your post. 

Best of luck and have a great day! 

 

[Consept]

12 hours ago, BlessedLion said:

I'm noticing i'm a bit anxious or nervous about going to the wedding, it may sound selfish but I don't want to disrupt the flow of my meditative lifestyle and i notice that even when i am meditating my mind is worrying about this wedding and having to show up as the new version of myself. The thing is I have changed a lot since then and those people are associated with a darker period of my life. At the same time, I love this guy, and we had a deep friendship, we barely speak now, but it's still all love, we just have very different lives. 

Ill give a different point of view than others. Its good you are noticing how youre feeling, but also this is a normal feeling in this situation, its a fearful response to the unknown. Now the question is do you want to be led by fear or led by love? If you notice, your fear is manifesting into justifications for not going. Your love recognises that you care for your friend and that it would be good to go, if only it wasnt for reasons. 

I respect the work youre doing but if this work means that you are now unable to even interact with people, then what is the point? There needs to be some bravery in confronting the past but ultimately if you can just be and relax in the situation you will most likely enjoy it. If this was your really good friend this will be a once in a lifetime moment to share with him, i think if you do go youll be surprised at how much you enjoy it. Also not going seems an effort to hold on to your 'spiritual identity' as we know identities dont really exist so its also a good practice to be challenging your identity. Good luck whatever you choose 

[Spiral]

On the one hand, you don’t seem very close anymore. So not going probably wouldn’t be a big deal.

On the other hand growth is found in suffering and I get the feeling you care a lot about the options of the people you would end up meeting. 

I would go, if you have any interest in meet him or the people there. Sometimes we need to shake things up and challenge ourselves. 

To disrupt your meditate state for a couple of days shouldn’t be a big deal.