Gossip

[Guest]

Hey!

I need help for a situation which I find myself in all the time. There are people from my school who occasionally write me on facebook or talk to me in school to gossip. It's so strange that they don't even ask me how I am, they just write something like how stupid is (name) or I don't know if he is good or bad. Some of them are girls and they even want to do gossip about their close friends but the next day I see them together.

What could be a good answer for this situation? I ask you because I hate gossip but I don't want to hurt people's feelings because they choose to do that. They are sending me messages and I don't answer. I want to get rid of this situation but people around me always try to make me talk about others.

Thanks in advance!

[Abeo Maria]

8 minutes ago, Sarper said:

Hey!

I need help for a situation which I find myself in all the time. There are people from my school who occasionally write me on facebook or talk to me in school to gossip. It's so strange that they don't even ask me how I am, they just write something like how stupid is (name) or I don't know if he is good or bad. Some of them are girls and they even want to do gossip about their close friends but the next day I see them together.

What could be a good answer for this situation? I ask you because I hate gossip but I don't want to hurt people's feelings because they choose to do that. They are sending me messages and I don't answer. I want to get rid of this situation but people around me always try to make me talk about others.

Thanks in advance!

I know this is far easier said then done, but you're not alone, I find myself in this situation as well.
It's difficult because like you said if they're friends or people you know you don't want to hurt their feelings or cause more drama to the situation. 
What I've been doing, is attempting to stay as neutral as possible. I pretend that the person being gossiped about is spying in on the conversation between me and the person doing the gossipping. I think what's the most icognito way I can hear this person out, without offering an opinion. This has helped me out a lot, and it's interesting to find all the ways to stay neutral.
Putting the situation back on the person and having them continue to express themselves without putting your input into it.
The other thing I do, is find a subtle way to show that you're not interested in gossiping, if someone talks negatively about someone, I'll say: "Oh, really? That's interesting to hear. How's your day been so far?" 
It's a polite way of changing the subject lol

[Guest]

27 minutes ago, Abeo Maria said:

I know this is far easier said then done, but you're not alone, I find myself in this situation as well.
It's difficult because like you said if they're friends or people you know you don't want to hurt their feelings or cause more drama to the situation. 
What I've been doing, is attempting to stay as neutral as possible. I pretend that the person being gossiped about is spying in on the conversation between me and the person doing the gossipping. I think what's the most icognito way I can hear this person out, without offering an opinion. This has helped me out a lot, and it's interesting to find all the ways to stay neutral.
Putting the situation back on the person and having them continue to express themselves without putting your input into it.
The other thing I do, is find a subtle way to show that you're not interested in gossiping, if someone talks negatively about someone, I'll say: "Oh, really? That's interesting to hear. How's your day been so far?" 
It's a polite way of changing the subject lol

For the first method: I feel and behave like you do. I act like somebody knows what I am talking to that person and what I do is mirroring with saying almost nothing in response. For example last day a girl told me "XXX (name) drives me crazy, I don't like him he does ... kind of things and still live happily" and I told her "Yeah people do these kind of things." That was it.

Your second method will solve the problem 100%. I'll certainly use it next time. It's so good and fun and gives the message clearly.

I don't know how much I can thank you. You really helped me!

Edited February 14, 2016 by Sarper
My English is so bad. :D