Once you sniff just a little bit of unfairness, supernatural favoritism or meaningles

[numbersinarow]

ness, you will not be capable of thinking God knows better than you, or that you were thrown into this existence because God has as a fundamental principle for itself to explore everything including absolute inescapable suffering.

God is merely evil. And the only reason for me calling the forces above humanity "God" is because of the countless slam dunks atheists like Epicurus have had against religion.

The smallest bit of Justice, Truth, Fairness, Universality etc. is so poisonous to the nature of reality that it attempts to stifle and destroy these things. Just one drop of them would cause reality to instantly dissolve into the perfect wish fulfillment fantasy for the victims of the world. Exhibit A: You think this is negative, that this is UGLY, distasteful, bitter, resentful etc.

You are a thrown blameless being, but you choose to play the role of victim and brat and blame others for their own circumstances into which they themselves have been thrown into, this now makes you the opposite of blameless, but you need to keep going otherwise you would feel deep guilt for your ideological insanity and brainrot, you would start viewing the nature of your soul as worthless.

Imagine being forced into the most limited experience of the meaninglessness of the world possible. With your prospects of suicide facing attempts at being destroyed from every side. If we go back to our fairy tale that I am God and simply forgot, for the sake of a hypothetical, we see that just the most miniscule possible experience of this would cause God to not even just go back to it's previous state, but to self-destruct.

I am a construct of a fabric made of infinite wrongness and suffering. If this hasn't been made clear enough before, I have complete empirical proof that exactly what I think should not happen, happens, proving me right in my metaphysical assertions about how it shouldn't have happened better than any theory: in reality itself confirming it. How should one live knowing this?

There is absolutely no right way to live or right way to enlightenment. If you are detached you risk suffering from extreme boredom and meaninglessness. If you don't detach you will be subject to the limitations of the hamster wheel.

You can't do anything right or anything wrong.

Now since it's not your choice what to feel or how pleasurable of a life to live, what is it about you which can remain and have it's own being, despite being molded out of suffering? Only complete scorn and refusal to believe things will be better or to play the game. Not even hope that this will yield results.

I believe a Christ-like figure who is capable of living in their own complete lack of vice in this reality, and regardless of it, is possible.

Edited August 17 by numbersinarow

[jimwell]

I feel you. Life is very unfair and full of suffering of various forms. And the ones who "win" and dominate are the greediest and most corrupt but very good at concealing their shit. Just look at the politicians, big bankers, CEOs, and other winners of capitalism. You rarely find angels there. And the fact that the highest answer for why things exist this way is outside our limits (hidden from us), only adds salt to the wound. 

 

3 hours ago, numbersinarow said:

Now since it's not your choice what to feel or how pleasurable of a life to live, what is it about you which can remain and have it's own being, despite being molded out of suffering?

But I have my visions, ambitions, and willpower. Sooner or later, God must respect them in one way or another. 

[Atb210201]

It is lack of perspective that we become unable to see the ultimate nature of reality which is Just and Fair

It is only because the ultimate Truth is Just and Fair that we can think of concepts of justice and fairness otherwise we wouldn't even consider them at all

We have an inclination and we can intuit justice and fairness only because the ultimate Truth is The Ultimate Justice and Fairness

[Joshe]

6 minutes ago, Atb210201 said:

the ultimate nature of reality which is Just and Fair

👆

[Joshe]

@numbersinarow 

I sometimes struggle with cynical thought and I recorded an audio clip a little while back that I think is helpful. I know at some point I have to let go of all the cynical thoughts, so I'm planting those seeds. 

If you're interested in listening to it, I'd be interested to know what you think about it. It's about 13 minutes long and you might not like the style, but maybe you will. It's a google recording public link:

https://recorder.google.com/536f2cea-5f6e-4fe2-b223-5a394298bec6