cold approach lowers self esteem

[Karmadhi]

29 minutes ago, Jodistrict said:

99%   of what is being taught as cold approach is bullshit.  

This guy is the only one who is teaching something that will work.   

https://www.removelayers.com/

His basic philosophy is that most men can't connect with women because they have accumulated layers of phoniness in their personality.   The solution is to remove the layers and become an authentic human being.   The second leg of his approach is to only pursue high-quality women that you can actually have a relationship with.

Is he legit? I saw his channel and half the videos are him shitting on Based Zeus.

I got John Anthony vibes.

You sure his stuff is good?

[CARDOZZO]

42 minutes ago, Jodistrict said:

99%   of what is being taught as cold approach is bullshit.  

This guy is the only one who is teaching something that will work.   

https://www.removelayers.com/

His basic philosophy is that most men can't connect with women because they have accumulated layers of phoniness in their personality.   The solution is to remove the layers and become an authentic human being.   The second leg of his approach is to only pursue high-quality women that you can actually have a relationship with.

 

 

Did you bought his book "Layers"?

[Karmadhi]

Just now, CARDOZZO said:

Did you bought his book "Layers"?

Did you?

Is it good?

I am watching the guy.

I got some orange vibes, but did not see enough.

[CARDOZZO]

11 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

Did you?

Is it good?

I am watching the guy.

I got some orange vibes, but did not see enough.

Not really, it is appealing to buy his book.

But I don't really know, he is basically saying that you have 14 layers that need to be removed to date girls  

Sales, Sales, Sales  

 

[CARDOZZO]

I got a "Julien Blanc Letting Go Vibes" about these layers.

 

Edited August 15 by CARDOZZO

[Zen LaCroix]

I was surprised when I met RSD Ozzie for a bootcamp and realized he didn't have good game and he certainly wasn't cool

[Jodistrict]

2 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

Is he legit? I saw his channel and half the videos are him shitting on Based Zeus.

I got John Anthony vibes.

You sure his stuff is good?

The "Layers" pdf he is selling on his website is a good read and gives you the general philosophy.  You could take it from there and use the awareness to practice authenticity.   It's better than this "peackocking" approach which just makes a man even more quirky and weird and may get him a few drunk bar girls.  Keep in mind this longer range approach is to interact with high-quality women.  

[CARDOZZO]

42 minutes ago, Jodistrict said:

The "Layers" pdf he is selling on his website is a good read and gives you the general philosophy.  You could take it from there and use the awareness to practice authenticity.   It's better than this "peackocking" approach which just makes a man even more quirky and weird and may get him a few drunk bar girls.  Keep in mind this longer range approach is to interact with high-quality women.  

Authenticity aka Natural Game? 

Edited August 16 by CARDOZZO

[Jodistrict]

1 hour ago, CARDOZZO said:

Authenticity aka Natural Game? 

You become more natural by removing your layers.   The layers produce quirky unnatural behavior.  You find a way to express your real self.  

[CARDOZZO]

Just now, Jodistrict said:

You become more natural by removing your layers.   The layers produce quirky unnatural behavior.  You find a way to express your real self.  

Great. 

I recommend Letting Go by David Hawkins.

[simp]

8 hours ago, Ulax said:

Ah I see. Well if he does it at the same location where the same people notice him, that goes against the need for anonymity to a degree. I mean the easy, and straightforward fix is to just go some other location. Or just mix up where you go.

The fuck lmao. I guess depends on how your friend was approaching to warrant that or not. What did the flyer even say lol? "PUAs in this area! If engaged, Call 911!". 

no they said something to the effect that hes a predator because he was approaching some teenagers although not specifically. u know how people love to sensationalize that. he isnt my friend. i just noticed him approaching a bunch of random females. l dont think ive ever even talked to him, but alot of people in the park talk about him, and he has made himself quite well known. he was even thrown in jail for 9 months for making death threats

[Raze]

8 hours ago, simp said:

no they said something to the effect that hes a predator because he was approaching some teenagers although not specifically. u know how people love to sensationalize that. he isnt my friend. i just noticed him approaching a bunch of random females. l dont think ive ever even talked to him, but alot of people in the park talk about him, and he has made himself quite well known. he was even thrown in jail for 9 months for making death threats

So why is your conclusion that cold approach is the problem and not him annoying and threatening people to the point where he has a reputation?

[simp]

3 hours ago, Raze said:

So why is your conclusion that cold approach is the problem and not him annoying and threatening people to the point where he has a reputation?

it's not just him. l've seen it with several guys who started doing cold approach only to go into withdrawl and seclusion. one guy in particular, tiago, he did cold approach for 2 months, and these days he does not even say hi to females anymore. but i should also add that he was/is mentally ill with depresion, autism, anxiety, etc, and so were the other guys. the other guys also have bad reputation amongst their peers. tiago, in particular will be extremely critical of other pua's and say things like "i cant believe saul has known about pick up for 5yrs, and he still cant get a date", or "rashid is too fat. he needs to lose some weight before he does cold approaches". and ineed tiago himself will say that he needs to lose weight before he does cold approach, and thats the official excuse he gives for not doing cold approach anymore, even though he swears cold approach is a great idea. but from my angle, it looks like his self esteem cant handle the rejection. he also seems like an introverted guy to the point where he looks like he is in pain to interact with anyone new. now there are other guys l know who are stil doing pick up even though theyve been rejected hundreds of times, but then these guys are so desensitized that they end up coming off as sociopathic and have no regard for those around them. maybe william is one of them. he just comes off as one of those pushy salesmen, but gets very emotional if he does not get his way

[Raze]

22 minutes ago, simp said:

it's not just him. l've seen it with several guys who started doing cold approach only to go into withdrawl and seclusion. one guy in particular, tiago, he did cold approach for 2 months, and these days he does not even say hi to females anymore. but i should also add that he was/is mentally ill with depresion, autism, anxiety, etc, and so were the other guys. the other guys also have bad reputation amongst their peers. tiago, in particular will be extremely critical of other pua's and say things like "i cant believe saul has known about pick up for 5yrs, and he still cant get a date", or "rashid is too fat. he needs to lose some weight before he does cold approaches". and ineed tiago himself will say that he needs to lose weight before he does cold approach, and thats the official excuse he gives for not doing cold approach anymore, even though he swears cold approach is a great idea. but from my angle, it looks like his self esteem cant handle the rejection. he also seems like an introverted guy to the point where he looks like he is in pain to interact with anyone new. now there are other guys l know who are stil doing pick up even though theyve been rejected hundreds of times, but then these guys are so desensitized that they end up coming off as sociopathic and have no regard for those around them. maybe william is one of them. he just comes off as one of those pushy salesmen, but gets very emotional if he does not get his way

So why is your conclusion that cold approach is the problem and not them having mental illness and no social skills?

[Tenebroso]

On 15/08/2024 at 7:41 PM, Princess Arabia said:

By silencing those inner critics. All those limiting beliefs. Forget about those preconceived notions you've had about women and their behavior. All of it. They aren't true; they are stories. Pretend you are just starting out afresh and have no beliefs about women. Clean slate. Whatever happens, don't judge it or take it personal. Be empty inside and allow for what is coming your way and if the thoughts you're having doesn't align with your goal, don't react to them; only the ones that feel good and will serve you for what you're looking to accomplish. The main thing is to not react to what doesn't go your way or you'll be sending out a signal for more of that to be in your experience and other circumstances that align with that frequency.

OK, I have to concede you are right. I have to turn over a new leaf, I have received similar advice in other places. Start from zero, look forward, let go of the old story and let go of the preconceived notions of female behaviour. Non-attachment. Focus on my internal goals/intentions/visions, while not reacting to the external world unless it matches my desired outcome.

Do you believe in destiny/fate or that we actively create our reality, or even a combination of both. So if you really clean up your belief system, silence the inner critic and are clear on your goals, will the results eventually reflect that in the external world or is even thinking about the results counterproductive?

"Pretend you are just starting out fresh and have no beliefs about women" I really like this, a return to innocent curiosity.

Thanks

 

[simp]

12 hours ago, Raze said:

So why is your conclusion that cold approach is the problem and not them having mental illness and no social skills?

my conclusion is that cold approach lowers self esteem because the majority of men who try cold approach are guys with mental illness and social skills. also, even if a mentally healthy man who came from a good family did a bunch of cold approaches, he could also see his self esteem lowered. it's also my conclusion that a small % of people benefit from cold approach, and that's why it's not widely practiced, nor has it ever been. l wouldnt say that cold approach is a problem, but it doesnt appear effective, and practical especially if youre looking for dates

[Raze]

6 hours ago, simp said:

my conclusion is that cold approach lowers self esteem because the majority of men who try cold approach are guys with mental illness and social skills. also, even if a mentally healthy man who came from a good family did a bunch of cold approaches, he could also see his self esteem lowered. it's also my conclusion that a small % of people benefit from cold approach, and that's why it's not widely practiced, nor has it ever been. l wouldnt say that cold approach is a problem, but it doesnt appear effective, and practical especially if youre looking for dates

The majority of men who try it don’t have mental illness or no social skills, they may have poor social skills but not none.

Just because it isn’t effective for someone who has 0 self awareness and does crazy things doesn’t mean it can’t be in general.

[Princess Arabia]

10 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

Do you believe in destiny/fate or that we actively create our reality, or even a combination of both. So if you really clean up your belief system, silence the inner critic and are clear on your goals, will the results eventually reflect that in the external world

You're doing it now. We tend to look at the positive outcomes as our doing but neglect to see that the negative is also our doing. Did you really expect to see any positive changes when all you focused on was the negative and what you didn't want. C'mon. The Universe doesn't see a human it reads frequency and vibration and you were getting exactly what you asked for energetically speaking. The results are already reflecting that in your outer world. You're asking this question unaware that it's already doing that. It's not about fooling yourself into thinking the opposite and trying to see it differently; it's about realizing that they weren't true to begin with. Just start to focus on what you want and not what you don't want. 

 Even if you find yourself doing it again, just keep returning back because it will be hard at first because it's a program, but with consistency, it will start to become the norm for you. You cannot argue your way with the Universe. What we constantly complain about we get more of; circumstances that align with that frequency.

 

[Fabio]

On 8/16/2024 at 10:24 PM, simp said:

my conclusion is that cold approach lowers self esteem because the majority of men who try cold approach are guys with mental illness and social skills. also, even if a mentally healthy man who came from a good family did a bunch of cold approaches, he could also see his self esteem lowered. it's also my conclusion that a small % of people benefit from cold approach, and that's why it's not widely practiced, nor has it ever been. l wouldnt say that cold approach is a problem, but it doesnt appear effective, and practical especially if youre looking for dates

I've been cold approaching for the last year and a half pretty consistently 1-3 days a week, usually 1 day per week after my last relationship. I've been working on my inner game for about 10 years and consider myself decently mentally healthy. Since my last relationship, I've made almost no effort on dating apps. Been trying to meet people only through approaching. In the last year and a half, I've made out with close to 20 women,  and been on dates with 7 women , some of them multiple dates and still seeing one.  My self esteem is fine. I don't think cold approach causes low self esteem, but it will trigger your already existing low self esteem when you get rejected if you don't manage your state and emotions. It doesn't bother me, I expect rejection and don't take it personally. Most rejections end with us both smiling because she has a bf or something. Ya its easy to forget about your low self esteem when your hiding from anything that triggers you. Cold approach reveals it.  Im not saying Im perfect, or don't have times when I feel bad, but it passes within a few minutes, hours or couple of days as long as Im doing emotional work and then I'm back to normal. Im sure if I continue, that my dating results will improve with time.

The dudes in your examples have issues to begin with and don't want to face them. Thats probably the bigger issue. The guy went to jail for threatening murder and the videos hardly seem like an approach that's inviting romance , more so a debate on veganism being bad. Which is fine in sprinkles, but not as the whole conversation. You have to be smart with cold approach, you cant just be a monkey spamming the same location with cringy vibes forever. 

Edited August 26 by Fabio

[Nightwise]

I can actually attest that forcing yourself to approach girls constantly when you're in essence not truly ready for it can indeed mess you up (to an extent that you weren't already messed up which consequently caused you to repel a lot women). I know, because I was that guy back in 2013 who constantly forced himself to approach women whilst constantly absorbing RSD content (RSD stands for "Real Social Dynamics". A company that now doesn't seem to exist anymore, but was (I thought) quite a revolutionary company the the domain of dating and pick-up back in the day)

Now, more than 10 years later, I'm at a phase where I seem to be energized to really start to make serious work of my sex- and intimate life again (not my dating life just yet. You can read my journal for more explicit details on that), but I'm approaching the whole process in a much more conscious manner and listening to myself what I need in which moment. I'm also noticing that positive visualization works quite well for me. I have discovered that excessive force just simply isn't the way to go for me to get results. Maybe it worked for some guys, like RSD Tyler, but it never worked for me.

And that was something that I was never warned for. RSD seemed to convey the message that (whether implicit or explicit) quitting cold-approach was a sign of weakness, and that persevering was the only right decision. I found out that that just simply wasn't true. It's not about giving up indefinitely, but one could often do well with an extended break to reflect and perhaps just focus on different parts of one's life that also need attention.

Now I know that, if I am to do something like cold-approach some day again, that it's pretty much a requirement that I feel positive and imagine positive outcomes, yet am able to deal gracefully and potentially even compassionately with rejections (in the sense of: I can put myself into her shoes and imagine and sympathize with reasons why she wouldn't have felt comfortable with going on-board with my interest in her. Reasons which might not have had to do much with me as a person at all)

Edited August 28 by Nightwise