What is 'neediness'?

[Tenebroso]

@Buck Edwards How should a man show interest without being needy?

[mr_engineer]

3 hours ago, something_else said:

@mr_engineer Bro are you drunk 

I was being persistent with a question that I knew people would not take seriously, because I wanted an answer. It got answered. 

If I cared about you perceiving it as 'needy', it would not have gotten answered! 

What's your answer, by the way? Is it illegal to be needy? 

[mr_engineer]

3 hours ago, Buck Edwards said:

I'm a woman and I get turned off by neediness. It's no propaganda.. It's okay to feel needed in the beginning. But serious neediness becomes toxic quickly and is a Codependency. 

Would you sue someone who's being needy? Would you call the police on them for 'being needy'? 

[Buck Edwards]

1 hour ago, Tenebroso said:

@Buck Edwards How should a man show interest without being needy?

You can show interest. But neediness is an entirely different ballgame. It generally puts people off as it indicates some form of inner toxicity or dependency that needs to be resolved. Neediness indicates to people a lack of maturity. Also if you love a person truly for who they are, your neediness can make you want someone only because you need them in the moment. It takes your real power away from you, the power to love someone with emotional maturity. Neediness for example constantly texting your partner can be very annoying and become a hindrance in a relationship. It's like not giving your girl breathing space. It can come across as desperation rather than genuine desire. Are you in a relationship just because you need a girl? Or are you in a relationship because you want to mutually grow with that person? The priority is yours. Neediness can also mean that you can dump the person once your needs are met and this is why it's the biggest turn off for most women. You can communicate love and interest but in a moderate matured balanced way,not toxic codependent. The relationship should be a free flow and beautiful, not a burden. 

[Buck Edwards]

32 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

Would you sue someone who's being needy? Would you call the police on them for 'being needy'? 

If they're harassing me for their needs, I will call the police on the guy. I mean it's obvious that it's problematic behavior if you go around harassing women chasing them around. You don't get to impose your needs on someone if they aren't consenting to you. Of course you can flirt with a girl but if she says no it's a no. There's where the line is drawn. Beyond that it's sexual harassment. 

[mr_engineer]

41 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

You can show interest. But neediness is an entirely different ballgame. It generally puts people off as it indicates some form of inner toxicity or dependency that needs to be resolved. Neediness indicates to people a lack of maturity. Also if you love a person truly for who they are, your neediness can make you want someone only because you need them in the moment. It takes your real power away from you, the power to love someone with emotional maturity. Neediness for example constantly texting your partner can be very annoying and become a hindrance in a relationship. It's like not giving your girl breathing space. It can come across as desperation rather than genuine desire. Are you in a relationship just because you need a girl? Or are you in a relationship because you want to mutually grow with that person? The priority is yours. Neediness can also mean that you can dump the person once your needs are met and this is why it's the biggest turn off for most women. You can communicate love and interest but in a moderate matured balanced way,not toxic codependent. The relationship should be a free flow and beautiful, not a burden. 

What if two needy people want to be together? Is that illegal, in your books? 

[Buck Edwards]

Just now, mr_engineer said:

What if two needy people want to be together? Is that illegal, in your books? 

Not illegal. But do you want a healthy relationship or a codependent one? If youre too needy and your partner is not satisfying you, then you'll begin to grow insecure causing strain on the relationship. Do you want that? 

 

[mr_engineer]

Just now, Buck Edwards said:

Not illegal. But do you want a healthy relationship or a codependent one? If youre too needy and your partner is not satisfying you, then you'll begin to grow insecure causing strain on the relationship. Do you want that? 

 

What's 'healthy'? Both people don't spend any time together, both people are doing their own thing? Is that 'healthy'? 

[mr_engineer]

This is a glorification of separation inside the relationship. Obviously, you're going to fight more when you end up talking, obviously, you're going to have break-ups, obviously, you're going to then think 'me need me-time to heal, so me be single right now'. 

Obviously, millennials and Gen-Z are the loneliest generation. Obviously, they are the instant-gratification generation. This pathological thought-process, this mind-virus of 'don't be needy' is at the root of it! 

[mr_engineer]

Mods, you can lock this thread. I am considering this idea of 'neediness' debunked. 

[mr_engineer]

Just now, Buck Edwards said:

How would you know if two people who aren't needy are unhappy?what if they're happy. Notice how you already jumped on assumptions that they must be unhappy because it doesn't line with your beliefs of what an ideal relationship is. 

The loneliness-statistics say it all.