Kundalini naga panchami

[Buck Edwards]

Kundalini healing. 

[Buck Edwards]

The trauma mind is different from the normal mind. It processes things differently. What you think as someone simply being disagreeable can appear as threatening to the trauma mind. What you see as someone being woefully atrocious can appear as an immediate danger or source of constant pain to the trauma mind. Just like a normal mind cannot become a trauma mind, a trauma mind cannot become a normal mind. It's too much expectation. The thought can then go in cyclical mode where it appears and reappears even without a trigger as the trigger becomes a staple of the mind once it has been planted in there, so nobody really needs to even bring it up, it comes as a wound over and over like a spasmodic pain in the knee. It just comes up. Also an eye for an eye feels good only in the moment but the fairness is never really felt. The correct weapon to deal with hate is not yet invented because hate can feel like being killed in the middle of war, no remedy invented yet.

 

[Buck Edwards]

Normal mind - turn the other cheek. Look for ways to deescalate. 

Trauma mind - it hurts like a dagger. Not giving back feels like more trauma. Energy block. 

 

 

 

 

Especially when you are depressed and down and suffering in some way, any amount of negativity can get to you. 

 

All the Meanness gets to me. Makes me upset. Down. Degraded. Impacted. Crushed. Demoralized

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Edited August 15 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

I need to get ready for Independence day celebrations. 

[Buck Edwards]

According to yoga theory, the spine must be perfectly upright for kundalini to flow upward.

[Buck Edwards]

Home is where the heart is. As I slowly begin to love myself, I will learn to get settled. Once I have a home I will feel better 

It's not just a visceral physical home but also a mental home. An emotional home. Maybe I never had an "emotional home." 

 

This is a good example of emptying oneself psychologically

 

 

 

 

 

What did I want to do? What did I want to do? 

Quickly note it down. 

Quickly note it down. 

 

Another practice is letting go. Surrender to the experience completely. Let it not bring up any emotion in you. 

 

 

Breakfast time. 

Have tea and something. Anything. Later write a planner on what you want to do. 

 

 preparedness 

 

 emotional labor 

 

 de-escalation 

 

I also need to include practical techniques in my life. Better organization. Better results. Result oriented approach. I should also make a flow chart or Swot analysis style  chart to keep checks and balances and a solid unbreakable streak and track record on my progress in the most practical and objective sense

 

 

 

This is a good insight. 

 

I wish everyone to get over self-shame.  I do know what it feels like to be behind enemy lines or to even experience that in family.  I have some right-wing Trump people in my family and they talk smack about San Francisco where I live or “woke people”  in front of my face.  It’s disheartening  to  feel that in your own family.  It used to really tick me off.  Now I just look at it like — that’s on you man,  it does nothing to me.  My happiness comes from within.  And I try to stay away from people who are going to reduce my happiness.  That’s my choice.  I think it’s a mistake to expect everyone to be a certain way though.  You can’t control that.  What you can do is select how long you interface with someone or refuse to interface with them at all.  There’s nothing that says you have to even listen to or even read someone else’s crap.  A lot of it is just media-driven stereotyping and chest-beating anyway.  It’s hurt people hurting people.  

 

 

 

Life is unfair. You can let this unfairness bother you and make it worse or you can simply surrender to this unfairness and lower your expectations and then do the best you can in any given circumstance and look for a positive outcome despite the unfairness and give yourself a pat for having triumphed over that unfairness Or simply wallow in self pity and feelings of discord over that unfairness. The choice is radical and it's yours. Life doesn't change in the immediate frame. You cannot waste your life over a thought. 

 

 

Nearly every situation in life seems like a reflection of any philosophy in the moment. This philosophy then influences our actions and becomes some sort of a guidemap to direct us towards a particular trajectory. Life seems to be a complex and wholesome combination of philosophy and action in the middle of a dystopian sequence.

 

Oh my Master, what should I do? 

 

I wanna please you. I wanna feel like I did enough. I wanna know how I could I be better today. Your authority inspires me. 

 

.. 

 

Co create your reality. 

 

What do you want your reality to look like right now? 

 

Focus on abundance. Not on scarcity. 

Think that you already have what you want. 

 

 

 

first thing in the morning start with flowers 

 

try to be in neutral state early in the morning

 

 try not to get distracted too much

 

 have a sense of purpose in life. 

 

have a particular philosophy, goal, idea or direction early in the morning in regard to what you want to be achieving that day. Have a template. A rough sketch of what you are setting out to do.

 

Start every morning with a routine. Every morning look at these flowers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 15 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

 

 fix breakfast 

 Focus on abundance

 take your meds on time 

  Make a SWOT analysis chart

  sit with pen and paper 

 look at your vision board 

 pick out any item on the board that you wanna start working on

 Have someone to report to

 Have someone hold you accountable

 cultivating an oyster. 

 Better organization. 

 Have a goal board or a vision board

 Goals for 2024 - 2025

Keep a track on your goals

Co create your reality. 

practice of "letting go" 

practical techniques in my life

Result oriented approach

track record

progress record

Better organization

 

 footnotes 

 One of my major goals for this year and the next is to focus on masculine integration.

 

Edited August 15 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

Sing to the LORD, you saints of his; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

 

[Buck Edwards]

https://www.cheggindia.com/web-stories/10-habits-to-become-mentally-strong-in-life/

 

 

             

I would want to start a concept in my everyday life where I know that I'm organizing and getting good at organizing from stuff to emotional organization as well. So I'm going to write in my productivity space 10 things that I'll organize everyday with full determination. 10 different things everyday. It can be literally anything that I'm trying to organize from books to recipes to objects or clothes. Just anything to keep me on track.

 

 

Goal list. 

 

 English class 

 masculine integration 

 kundalini awakening 

 master writing 

 emotional mastery 

 

 

So Maynor gave me this advice and it fits perfectly.

Once you stop fighting with somebody you take all their power away.  They can't operate.  It's like you cut their food off.  To engage with somebody is to acknowledge that they're even worth interfacing with.  It's like no.  Shit exists, that doesn't mean that I need to honor shit by sniffing it everyday.  My preferences count, and I'm not going to engage with things that are not heath-engendering to me if I can help it!  That's reasonable.  Nobody with their head screwed on tight would disagree with that.  The individual does matter.  You as an individual matter.  A healthy group is comprised of healthy individuals.  So you can't overlook the individual.  The individual has to be accounted for and honored as part of life.  And you're the #1 Individual.

 

 

Edited August 15 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

 current goals 

 intellectual expansion 

 sastera 

 agama 

My tarot reading. 

Pisces

Your inner child wants to dream a new world into being while your adult self tries to explain a million possible ways in which this idealistic world cannot be birthed. What arises is a desolate feeling that leaves you grappling for the first ray of hope that comes your way, only to fall again. A smart workaround for this would be picking and choosing what feels right for you and letting the noise slide by.

 

 

I'm imagining that I'm surrounded by mountain people. Mountain culture. 

 

https://hackspirit.com/subtle-behaviors-that-show-your-partner-is-deeply-in-love-with-you/

 

Do I deserve to be persecuted or belittled constantly because I'm different from other people? I don't think I deserve that. 

I have to be comfortable with who I am and live like that. 

 

https://childadolescentpsych.cumc.columbia.edu/sites/default/files/styles/1080x615/public/field/image/Wellbeing-1080x615.jpg?itok=SdjCITqZ

 

 

 I want to seriously focus on my goals. 

 

 

and I want to be more determined than before. I think masculine integration will help me with this. 

 

 

It's like I want to make sense of it all. 

I have been going through emotional ups and downs and it's tough to keep up. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 15 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

 

1 Beautiful Children in Art, by Kobbé.

2 Makers of American Poetry, by Mable.

3 Washington the Capital, by Elmendorf.

4 Beautiful Women in Art, by Willing.

5 Romantic Ireland, by Elmendorf.

6 Masters of Music, by Henderson.

7 Natural Wonders of America, by Elmendorf.

8 Pictures We Love to Live With, by Huneker.

9 The Conquest of the Peaks, by Fay.

10 Scotland, the Land of Song and Scenery, by Elmendorf.

11 Cherubs in Art, by Kobbé.

12 Statues with a Story, by Lorado Taft.

13 The Discoverers, by Albert Bushnell Hart.

14 London, by Elmendorf.

15 The Story of Panama, by Bonsal.

16 American Birds of Beauty, by E. H. Forbush.

17 Dutch Masterpieces, by Van Dyke.

18 Paris, the Incomparable, by Elmendorf.

19 Flowers of Decoration, by H. S. Adams.

20 Makers of American Humor, by Burges Johnson.

21 American Sea Painters, by Arthur Hoeber.

22 The Explorers, by Hart.

23 Sporting Vacations, by Beard.

24 Switzerland, the Land of Scenic Splendors, by Elmendorf.

25 American Novelists, by Mabie.

26 American Landscape Painters, by Samuel Isham.

27 Venice, the Island City, by Elmendorf.

28 The Wife in Art, by Kobbé.

29 Great American Inventors, by Bruce.

30 Furniture and Its Makers, by Richards.

31 Spain and Gibraltar, by Elmendorf.

32 Historic Spots of America, by McElroy.

33 Beautiful Buildings of the World, by Ward.

34 Game Birds of America, by E. H. Forbush.

35 The Contest for North America, by Hart.

36 Famous American Sculptors, by Lorado Taft.

37 The Conquest of the Poles, by Rear Admiral Peary.

38 Napoleon, by Ida M. Tarbell.

39 The Mediterranean, by Elmendorf.

40 Angels In Art, by Van Dyke.

41 Famous Composers, by Henry T. Finck.

42 Egypt, the Land of Mystery, by Elmendorf.

43 The Revolution, by Albert Bushnell Hart.

44 Famous English Poets, by Mabie.

45 Makers of American Art, by J. T. Willing.

46 The Ruins of Rome, by Botsford.

47 Makers of Modern Opera, by H. E. Krehbiel.

48 Two Early German Painters—Dürer and Holbein, by F. J. Mather, Jr.

49 Vienna, the Queen City, by Elmendorf.

50 Ancient Athens, by Botsford.

51 The Barbizon School, by Hoeber.

52 Abraham Lincoln, by Hart.

53 George Washington, by McElroy.

54 Mexico, by Frederick Palmer.

55 Famous American Women Painters, by Arthur Hoeber.

56 The Conquest of the Air, by Woodhouse.

57 Court Painters of France, by Coffin, N. A.

58 Holland, by Elmendorf.

59 Our Feathered Friends, by E. H. Forbush.

60 Glacier National Park, by Hornaday.

61 Michelangelo, by Cox.

62 American Colonial Furniture, by Esther Singleton.

63 American Wild Flowers, by Eaton.

64 Gothic Architecture, by Ward.

65 The Story of the Rhine, by Elmendorf.

66 Shakespeare, by Mabie.

67 American Mural Painters, by Hoeber.

68 Celebrated Animal Characters, by Hornaday.

69 Japan, by Elmendorf.

70 The Story of the French Revolution, by Albert Bushnell Hart.

71 Rugs and Rug Making, by Mumford.

72 Alaska, by Browne.

73 Charles Dickens, by Mabie.

74 Grecian Masterpieces, by Lorado Taft.

75 Fathers of the Constitution, by Albert Bushnell Hart.

76 Masters of the Piano, by Finck.

77 American Historic Homes, by Esther Singleton.

78 Beauty Spots of India, by Elmendorf.

79 Etchers and Etching, by Frank Weitenkampf.

80 Oliver Cromwell, by Albert Bushnell Hart.

81 China, by Elmendorf.

82 Favorite Trees, by Hornaday.

83 Yellowstone National Park, by Elmendorf.

84 Famous Women Writers of England, by Mabie.

85 Painters of Western Life, by Hoeber.

86 China and Pottery of Our Forefathers, by Esther Singleton.

87 The Story of The American Railroad, by Albert Bushnell Hart.

88 Butterflies, by Holland.

89 The Philippine Islands, by Worcester.

90 Great Galleries of the World—the Louvre, by Van Dyke.

91 William M. Thackeray, by Mabie.

92 The Grand Canyon, by Elmendorf.

93 Architecture in American Country Homes, by Embury.

94 The Story of the Danube, by Albert Bushnell Hart.

95 Animals in Art, by Kobbé.

96 The Holy Land, by Elmendorf.

97 John Milton, by Mabie.

98 Joan of Arc, by Ida M. Tarbell.

99 Furniture of the Revolutionary Period, by Esther Singleton.

100 The Ring of the Nibelung, by Finck.

101 The Golden Age of Greece, by Botsford.

102 Chinese Rugs, by Mumford.

103 The War of 1812, by Albert Bushnell Hart.

104 Great Galleries of the World—The National Gallery, London, by Van Dyke.

105 Masters of the Violin, by Finck.

106 American Pioneer Prose Writers, by Mabie.

107 Old Silver, by Esther Singleton.

108 Shakespeare’s Country, by William Winter.

109 Historic Gardens of New England, by Mary H. Northend.

110 The Weather, by C. F. Talman.

111 American Poets of the Soil, by Johnson.

112 Argentina, by Newman.

113 Game Animals of America, by Hornaday.

114 Raphael, by Van Dyke.

115 Walter Scott, by Mabie.

116 The Yosemite Valley, by Elmendorf.

117 John Paul Jones, by Albert Bushnell Hart.

118 Russian Music, by Finck.

119 Chile, by Newman.

120 Rembrandt, by Van Dyke.

121 Southern California, by C. F. Lummis.

122 Keeping Time, by Talman.

123 American Miniature Painting, by Mrs. Elizabeth Lounsbery.

124 Gems, by Esther Singleton.

125 The Orchestra, by Henderson.

126 The Madonna and Child in Art, by Van Dyke.

127 The American Triumvirate, by Albert Bushnell Hart.

128 Brazil, by Newman.

129 American Water Colors, by Kobbé.

130 The Planets, by Prof. Jacoby.

131 American Water Color Painters, by Gustav Kobbé, Author and Critic.

132 Peru, by E. M. Newman, Lecturer and Traveler.

133 The Story of The American Army, by Albert Bushnell Hart.

134 Our Planet Neighbors, by Harold Jacoby.

135 The Story of Russia, by Leo Pasvolsky.

136 The Story of the Hudson, by Albert Bushnell Hart.

137 Prehistoric Animal Life, by Dr. W. D. Matthew.

138 Hawaii, by E. M. Newman.

139 Earthquakes and Volcanoes, by C. F. Talman.

140 The Canadian Rockies, by Ruth Kedzie Wood.

141 Corot, by Elliott Daingerfield.

142 Bolivia, by E. M. Newman.

143 Russian Art, by William A. Coffin, N. A.

144 The American Government, by Albert Bushnell Hart.

145 Christmas in Picture and Story, by Esther Singleton.

146 The Picture on the Wall, by Frank Weitenkampf.

147 Lafayette, by Albert Bushnell Hart.

148 American Composers, by W. J. Henderson.

149 Luxembourg Gallery, by William A. Coffin.

THE MENTOR ASSOCIATION, 114 East 16t

 

[Buck Edwards]

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

I love Indian bridal fashion. 

Collected a few AI Indian woman in bridal fashion images. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

 

I want to begin with thinking how life actually begins. I want to imagine a large wood block out of which I'm cutting and creating logs and planks and slowly building a home. Little by little, slowly I'm building a door, every door every window. One of the creative powers is to eliminate negativity. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 15 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

 

 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

 

I am now more focused on the idea of building my life.. 

[Buck Edwards]

For the next 150 days I want to be cold and hard and focus precisely on my goals as much as I can. This is a golden opportunity for it. I must grab. 

 

I have specifically downloaded an app for this and I'll be recording my progress here. It's called Reach it Goals. 

 

 

I want to eat a wholesome breakfast in the morning although I can't afford it. Maybe a day will come when that will be possible

 

I should also put it up on a writing board or something. All of the things that will help me become proactive in pursuing my goals

The past couple of days were spent  lazying around. 

 

Screenshot of the app. 

 

What are the tools I'll need 

 

-vision board 

- progress log or record 

- accountability record 

- logging record 

- tracking record 

- daily logging

- productivity articles 

- productivity tips 

- perfect organization

- productivity skills 

 

 

 

Action server 

 

Addiction server

 

Attitude server

 

Body work server 

 

Boundaries server

 

Collaborative server 

 

Commitment server

 

Confidence server

 

Contribution server

 

Creating server 

 

Diet food drink server 

 

Distraction server 

 

Emotional mastery server 

 

Energy server 

 

Fail Forward server

 

Fear and worry server 

 

Feminine dev server 

 

Financial health server 

 

Focus server

 

Happiness server

 

Habits server 

 

Hate languages server 

 

Healing server 

Knowledge server 

Law of attraction server

Life purpose career server

Life purpose general server

Love languages server

Magic and truth server

Marriage dev  server

Meditation server

Mental health server

Mind work server

 

 

Narratives server 

 

Optimism server 

 

Organized server 

 

Persistence server 

 

Persona server 

 

Physical health server 

 

Politics server 

 

Prioritization server 

 

Proactive initiative server 

 

Raising standards server 

 

Relations server 

 

Responsibility server 

 

Rest and recreation server

 

Sleeping server 

 

Spirituality server 

 

Thoughts and emotions server 

 

Productivity server

 

Accountability server 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 15 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]