Two years ago I had the God realization on 3g of mushrooms. Asking for Leo's opinion

[Adilbek]

3 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

I told you because I had that realization many times and was quite awful, negative, then I did again and again, over all with 5meo, but with DMT, LSD and mushrooms too, until I totally dissolve myself many times. 

yeah I can kind of gather that it's not the 'final' stage, otherwise who would want Enlightenment in the first place. But would you say you are "enlightened" at this point? Like are you in bliss all the time? An enlightenment teacher I follow is in that constant no-ego state all the time, I know there's the temporary and permanent samadhi etc. by no means I am at that point yet.

[Breakingthewall]

6 minutes ago, Adilbek said:

yeah I can kind of gather that it's not the 'final' stage, otherwise who would want Enlightenment in the first place. But would you say you are "enlightened" at this point? Like are you in bliss all the time? An enlightenment teacher I follow is in that constant no-ego state all the time, I know there's the temporary and permanent samadhi etc. by no means I am at that point yet.

Not at all. at some times, some days, with some substances, until some extent. but my mind is an obsessive machine that never stops, and looks for the barriers, what veils, what keeps identity spinning on itself, generating compression and suffering. Then, as time goes by, the opening becomes easier and deeper. But many layers, rests of mental garbage, identification, compression, opacity, are still in me. 

[Adilbek]

2 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

Not at all. at some times, some days, with some substances, until some extent. but my mind is an obsessive machine that never stops, and looks for the barriers, what veils, what keeps identity spinning on itself, generating compression and suffering. Then, as time goes by, the opening becomes easier and deeper. But many layers, rests of mental garbage, identification, compression, opacity, are still in me. 

did you consider that perhaps you are fueling that "search" by focusing on it a lot? The more you fuel the search the more intricate it becomes, to the point where you need a very specific thing to happen to satisfy you? Like, yeah it's messy, but it's never supposed to have been some other way. It's just part of the script that you wrote for yourself. Because at the end o the day, the Truth is still the Truth, whatever your attitude towards it is, so the problem is whether you accept it and stop denying it or you don't. But like there's no garbage to be taken out, in a way, it's all part of the game.

But yeah as a person I can totally relate. I am same way, really. What helps is remembering that "glimpse" sometimes.

In any case, thanks for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate it.

 

Edited August 10 by Adilbek

[Breakingthewall]

22 minutes ago, Adilbek said:

did you consider that perhaps you are fueling that "search" by focusing on it a lot?

3 hours ago, Adilbek said:

 

I m not searching anything, just removing obstacles that keep me enjailed. I want to be absolutely open to the absolute, anything else is greed and it's totally stupid. Greed to keep an illusion. 

[Keryo Koffa]

5 hours ago, Adilbek said:

"Even desiring not to desire is desiring" - Alan Watts, and so just wu wei it!

5 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

I'm aware of that on the absolute scale, yet life goes on in the relative.

It's funny how far we can come and still disagree.

@Adilbek's POV is "Everythins is Perfect, Nothing to Attain, Nowhere to Go, Nothing to Do"

'@Breakingthewall's POV is "We continue our relative Lives with our patterns holding us back"

Perfection doesn't care about Imperfection, yet Imperfection is dissatisfied with its own self.

On the relative scale, individuality learns self-awareness and seeks all ways to transcend.

@Adilbek is saying that by stopping all endeavors, you automatically align with the divine.

@Breakingthewall is saying that this can only happen, once you address your perpetual karma.

@Adilbek stumbled out of the labyrinth, telling everyone it's a game but forgot the path out.

From his perspective it doesn't matter, because the walls are transparent now from his POV.

But for @Breakingthewall, those walls aren't transparent, he's working on making them so.

And of course, one can question @Adilbek's actuality or if he isn't stuck in a meta-maze.

Edited August 10 by Keryo Koffa

[Adilbek]

11 minutes ago, Keryo Koffa said:

It's funny how far we can come and still disagree.

@Adilbek's POV is "Everythins is Perfect, Nothing to Attain, Nowhere to Go, Nothing to Do"

'@Breakingthewall's POV is "We continue our relative Lives with our patterns holding us back"

Perfection doesn't care about Imperfection, yet Imperfection is dissatisfied with its own self.

On the relative scale, individuality learns self-awareness and seeks all ways to transcend.

@Adilbek is saying that by stopping all endeavors, you automatically align with the divine.

@Breakingthewall is saying that this can only happen, once you address your perpetual karma.

@Adilbek stumbled out of the labyrinth, telling everyone it's a game but forgot the path out.

From his perspective it doesn't matter, because the walls are transparent now from his POV.

But for @Breakingthewall, those walls aren't transparent, he's working on making them so.

And of course, one can question @Adilbek's actuality or if he isn't stuck in a meta-maze.

That's actually super poetic, thanks for that. I am not claiming to have attained really. I am just a human being like us all. Albeit a realization came to me that keeping myself small is my strategy of avoiding the Truth. I am for sure stuck in a meta-maze, I don't think I can say I am enlightened or whatever. But this is paradoxical again, the ONLY thing that keeps you un-enlightened is the thought that you are not enlightened. Because besides from that thought there's nothing holding you back really, because besides that thought it's just reality. Avoiding being enlightened is an ACTIVE exercise, you need to be constantly keeping yourself small, constantly thinking you are a little human with little problems. Because once you stop, there's just the reality of God. 

 So you can be un-enlightened to the nth degree but this doesn't change anything at all...it doesn't change that you are still That. 

But I am not constantly in that state, it was just that glimpse during the trip and my integration really. I'm definitely not in Sahaja Samadhi. Just a glimpse and my thoughts on top of it

5 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

I m not searching anything, just removing obstacles that keep me enjailed. I want to be absolutely open to the absolute, anything else is greed and it's totally stupid. Greed to keep an illusion.