Asking for advice for creating a life I love :D

[caelanb]

Hello, I would like advice about where to go and what to do based on my situation. I am currently confused and unsure about what direction to go in life. I want to identify a mission statement and have a life I feel passionate about. That's not to say it's not, but I'd like it more. It will be a bit of a messy description and there is a lot I have been thinking about, but I'll do my best. I put a Chat GPT synthesized summary for the TLDR at the bottom. I edited it a bit.

Currently, I am studying biology (undergraduate) at university. It was the only science I liked in high school, and so the only one I took between biology, chemistry and physics. I went into cognitive science after graduating from high school because I was dealing with some mental health stuff, and I felt interested in learning about what was happening "up there." I also remember watching a video where Leo says, "You don't know yourself." Or something along those lines. So, I initially didn't pursue my interest in biology. I did cognitive science for three years but didn't put much effort into it. I did not get the degree and only got a few credits, eventually contributing to my current degree. I hoped something would pull me strongly enough during my cognitive science years, kinda like my "calling," but nothing came up. So, I decided to switch to biology during the first year of the COVID-19 pandemic because I liked it in high school and still do.

But in the past several years, after learning about The Life Purpose Course (which I have not taken yet. I may in last resort, but I don't know if it will guarantee clarity due to the inherent subjective of this work) and the idea of values, life purpose and a mission statement (also vision and passion a bit), I have been thinking a lot about identifying those aspects of my life to focus more on designing a life I want to live. My understanding of life purpose is that you identify your values, from which you can create a life purpose (the reason you get up in the morning and do something), and then make a mission statement that will get you clear on whom you will serve, what and how you will achieve that life purpose and as a result contribute to the world. I have been trying to identify my values and did an exercise with a therapist last year in which I labelled values as "very important," "important," or "not important" to me as they are shown to me. It was a rough idea of my values. My "very important" values are romance, passion, achievement, humour, adventure, excitement, fun, attractiveness, pleasure, and purpose. I also did one a couple of years ago with the therapist before that, in which I thought about a time when things felt right and identified values from those times. But I don't remember what we landed on. Finally, I also answered internet exercise questions where I identified a time that I had a negative experience and used that to try to identify my values. The values I got from that did not seem to reflect how I see myself.

Some of the ones I got from the first time I spoke about could be wrong. But I am almost certain that humour, excitement, fun, attractiveness and pleasure are very important to me. Unfortunately, how those values connect with and support my interest and desire to learn biology beats me. How to make a career out of those values isn't clear to me either. But it was the best I could do. But, because I like feeling good, pleasure and attractiveness, I am sure they are important to me, as demonstrated by the fact that, for example, I talked with a girl I liked who I knew had a boyfriend for about 45 minutes after our lab had ended. I still didn't care because I felt good doing it. So, what I thought of as a potential start towards a life purpose is generally the following two sentences. I value the above and find biology interesting, particularly cellular and molecular biology. Cellular and molecular biology is fundamental to understanding many diseases. I also like to talk to people because I do it a lot. But I mostly do it at school and/or with people I am comfortable talking with. So, I wrote the following a while ago as something I think could be a potential life purpose, assuming I stay on this biology road: 

"I am interested in cellular and molecular biochemistry (and maybe physiology) because I find it fascinating to learn about how the cell works at a very foundational level (almost cause and effect). I also think that having a decent knowledge of chemistry, in particular organic chemistry, would be good to help understand the more fundamental understanding of molecular and cellular biology, just to give a chemical understanding of what is happening (but not going into the physics of it all because I think that would go too far down than what is needed). I think I like to understand such processes since I am interested in applying such knowledge to work relating to how to understand what happens when problems occur and how to fix them (e.g. cancer and disease prevention) or even better ways to identify when something has gone wrong (treatment), and maybe try to harness our understanding to develop better ways of doing things for ourselves (e.g. biotechnology)."

It is an indirect way to feel good (pleasure) because I am doing something that will hopefully make others feel good via the development of cures and therapies that allow people to enjoy life less burdened or not burdened by disease. Particularly cancer since it is one of the most prevalent diseases in the world. This is not unique to me because many companies today have the same purpose. Or a similar purpose. My preference is likely the cell and molecular aspect over physiology because it is more cause and effect rather than correlational, and my mind associates that with being more straightforward/easier to understand. It is funny since psychology is very correlational, but I enjoy psychology, too. When I think about my psychology, self-esteem, and emotions. So that I can learn why I feel a certain way and think about myself in a certain way. It's more of a rough map rather than a clear cut. Although, I can make some good distinctions.

A potential career path for the biology life purpose I spoke about could be working in a laboratory. But for some reason, sometimes I lose interest while completing laboratory work or watching it being done. I think it's because it's hard for me to connect the theoretical aspect of what we are doing to the lab work since I cannot see the DNA, molecules, or cells without a microscope. It's either because when I am exposed to something for months or years, I can get bored and tune out, which has happened when watching lectures for a class I chose to take. Either I tune out (get sleepy) because of lack of sleep accompanied by watching someone pipet liquids aren't exciting, or I no longer feel good doing the thing because it is no longer "new." This relates to how I have more interest in reading or watching something that has nothing to do with my field of study, like, for example, a random video (I love watching YouTube, lol) about geopolitics that seems interesting. Or whatever catches my attention, as opposed to some cool biology tech coming out, which doesn't make sense to me. The optimal thing for me to do if I wanted to be really good at the field I am studying to be able to beat the competition is to fully immerse myself in it. But for some reason, I lose interest in doing tasks that would likely be required or be important for a career at the elite end of the field I study. 

Another part of me thinks maybe I should go to med school or get a prestigious job in biology just because I want to feel proud of myself. And could be a reflection of my potential value of achievement. Although this desire could be a result of comparing myself to others who have achieved more than me and are younger than me, and feelings like the pull I have towards developing a career in biology or a related field is not strong enough to be "willing to die for," as Leo has said in the past. Thus, I don't feel I have achieved enough things in life up to this point that I can feel proud of myself and, therefore, special (most people, including me, want to be recognized and feel special). This point is emphasized as a reflection of my age (the older you get, the more you expect yourself to achieve). So, I ended up thinking that getting a prestigious career would make me feel proud of myself by achieving success, which would contrast with my perceived lack of achievement due to feeling behind in life. 

Speaking of success, I seem very interested in looking into my younger brother, who runs a successful business, even if I don't care about what it does but rather the fact that he is successful. I sense that it is a comparison thing. It allows him to travel internationally, partly since he is not in school. Because of this, I feel it would be good to emulate such activity to learn more about myself and be more independent. So, I have decided to go on a solo international trip to a different but not international city to visit family members, making it partially solo.

In the past year or less, I have been trying to go out to do new things, such as talking to girls at school and meeting people at bars and clubs at school and downtown. I have been trying to do new things to get out of my comfort zone. I started going to an improv club, which is super fun. And I went to a karaoke night solo, which was hard. And I went to bars and clubs, which I originally posted about my first bar several months ago. Since then, I have been too many alone, mostly because I don't have anyone to go out with, but I have been a couple of times with other people and still suck at Game. I have gained enough confidence to comfortably start conversations with most people at venues. I have tried to flirt with girls, but it has never gone anywhere, and there is no escalation of anything sexual. Any results that someone doing pickup would ideally want are not what I got other than actually going out and talking to people. But as I noticed, every interaction is superficial. All to say, I did more things to get out of my comfort zone and learn more about myself to help develop myself. Predominantly social activities which are considered fun. However, as it relates to my life purpose, it still did not give me more understanding of what I currently want and how I want to contribute positively. Since I don't have a large social circle, although I talk to people at school, it's nothing too deep. I spend some time talking to my brother's friends when he has parties at our house, which is nice since that would not happen if I did not have a brother (or he lived away from home) because he has a large friend group, which he met during school and sports. So, I wonder if I messed up along the way or if people inherently don't like me because I like to talk to people (e.g. people with some prestige or status, hot girls, funny people, or anyone at the gym or basically anyone that makes me feel good or that I could benefit from), and fine at holding a conversation. Although I think I talk too much, I am typically a little self-conscious when I feel uncertain about a conversation and don't have as many friends as one may expect, given my supposed competency in social situations and find I usually have more fun spending an evening with people (unless I see them every day and we have less to connect on) as opposed to entertaining myself.

I think I have a sense of inferior achievements that I could have other people help me with. But I realized that when I talk to people, part of me also wants to feel smart and interesting. I feel like I don't have a purpose that will make me proud of my life and will make me driven long-term. Let alone a good set of solid values I could relate directly to my field of study. I'm mostly just doing whatever makes me feel good. I like to feel good and spend time with people that make me feel good. So, I assume most people like to feel good. As a testament to my being lost, right now, I see myself potentially going into a field unrelated to biology, like economics, business, politics, computer science, or really whatever field within the topic of a particular video I find interesting is talking about. I am trying to expand my experiences to get a better idea of things I like so I can identify my values better. But I started a little later than I would have liked. So far, other than those careers directly related to my value of intimacy, romance and attractiveness, as a dating coach, relationship coach, or event planner, nothing has strongly pulled me towards it. 

But, as has recently been apparent, it's nice when a topic in a field of study comes up in a conversation, and you so happen to know about it through your experience and education. It allows you to talk about and describe certain aspects of the topic. For example, if something is in the news and is related to what you know, or if someone also knows it, you can talk about it with them. It is like a low-key way to get attention, which, for some reason, I'd probably enjoy more than reading a scientific paper related to the topic (while trying to stay awake due to my not understanding most of the paper). The former makes me feel smart, which is a plus, even though the latter would likely be more valuable for a career in biology (like a biotech medical liaison or a doctor). But as I understand from Leo's work, you want something that reflects your most important values. That makes me wonder if this path is correct for me. But unlike accounting, communications, business and many other practical degrees. The career direction I seem to be going to makes it hard for me to see how I can use biology, particularly the subfield I seem to be interested in, in anything other than in a lab or when designing a therapy or medication. While the more practical ones would apply to everyday life in an easily apparent manner.

All that to say, I am unsure if I will learn enough to create a purpose related to my field of study and a career I love or if I will do something else. Switching again would have wasted years since I would (probably) have to start again to create a new life purpose and mission statement, assuming I have already created one. It makes me wonder how one can have only one life purpose if values change over time, although I don't have a clearly defined one right now. Either way, I aim to get one I am confident will last me for at least a significant period of my career. I find it funny how many people give advice which is to find what you love to do as the best choice because it is like another way of saying, as my mother says, "Do what you love, and you won't have to work a day in your life." But when I ask them what value or hopefully values they hold behind what they do or another way of saying the foundations upon which they live their life. Most of the time, it's either vague, I don't know, or I have never thought of it like that. Most people don't seem to be very explicit in the design of their life, more like this, "I like this, so I decided to do this." (me too right now, lol) Which does work for many people. Values and work seem to be, to some extent, separated from one another. But, based on what I heard at therapy and what I have heard Leo say in videos, you make every decision based on following or not following values. Thus, as Leo also says, a life purpose that aligns with all or as many of your top values as possible is the ideal. After all, everything we do that is important to us is based on our values, and whether or not we sometimes choose to make the hard choice to follow our values is the real question.

Note: some of my hearsay (e.g. as Leo says) may be incorrect. It is that which I remember.

THX

 

Chat GPT:

Hello, I am seeking advice on what to do in my current situation, as I am feeling confused and uncertain about the direction of my life, I want to identify a mission statement and create a fulfilling life, so I have been thinking a lot about this over the last years.

Currently, I am an undergraduate student studying biology at university. I chose it because it was the only science subject I enjoyed in high school, so it was a natural choice. However, I went into cognitive science after high school due to personal mental health challenges and because of a video in which Leo says, "You don't know yourself." I hoped to find a strong sense of purpose during cognitive science but got nothing. Eventually, during the first year of the COVID-19 pandemic, I switched to biology, which I have always liked to some extent, and cognitive science seems a bit like guesswork to me, or in other words, less objective than biology (yes, I know Leo talks about there no such thing as objectivity but you get the just).

In the past few years, I have been exploring the concept of values, life purpose, and mission statements, hoping to design a life that aligns with my passions. Based on what I have gleaned from Leo, identifying my values will lead me to my life purpose, from which I can subsequently create a mission statement to guide my actions to contribute positively to the world.

Through exercises with a therapist, I've identified what I think are my important values, such as romance, passion, achievement, humour, adventure, excitement, fun, attractiveness, pleasure, and purpose. However, I am struggling to see how these values connect with my interest in biology and how they can shape my career path. Despite this, I am drawn to cellular and molecular biology, as it underpins our understanding of many diseases, aligning with the goal of a life purpose of having a positive impact.

I also enjoy social interactions and have been pushing myself to step out of my comfort zone to connect with new people. While I have made progress in this area, I am still searching for a deeper understanding of what I want and how I can contribute positively.

As for my career path, I am uncertain about pursuing a laboratory role due to challenges connecting theoretical knowledge with practical applications. I'm also exploring other interests, and while I'm drawn to various fields, I have yet to find something that strongly resonates with me.

As I navigate these uncertainties, I am aware of the influence of my personal desires, such as the need to feel proud of my achievements and the desire for recognition. I have been observing my successful younger brother who has a business and seems to have some things figured out so I want to gain similar growth and development. As it relates to experiences and achievements.

In summary, I am exploring my values, interests, and potential career paths to create a clear life purpose, mission statement and vision that aligns with my passions. While I have encountered challenges and uncertainties, I hope to find a path that resonates with me and allows me to make a positive impact in the world. While not flip-flopping more than necessary if I ever do. Plus, having a purpose and vision will help me get girls, which is nice I have not taken yet. I may in last resort, but I don't know if it will guarantee clarity due to the inherent subjective of this work

THX

[LastThursday]

I thought I'd try and answer, but ChatGPT gave a better response. I asked ChatGPT for a quick summary

ChatGPT

Certainly! Here’s a bullet-point summary of your message:

• Current Situation:
  • Studying biology as an undergraduate; chose biology due to interest from high school.
  • Previously studied cognitive science for three years due to personal mental health interest but didn’t complete the degree.
• Struggle with Life Purpose:
  • Interested in identifying a life purpose, mission statement, and values.
  • Completed exercises to identify values: humor, excitement, fun, attractiveness, pleasure, and others are important.
  • Difficulty connecting these values with a career in biology.
• Interest in Biology:
  • Finds cellular and molecular biology fascinating, particularly for understanding diseases like cancer.
  • Potential life purpose: applying knowledge of cellular and molecular biology to develop therapies and treatments.
• Challenges with Career Path:
  • Sometimes loses interest in lab work; struggles to connect theoretical knowledge with practical lab tasks.
  • Distraction by unrelated interests (e.g., geopolitics, YouTube videos).
• Personal and Social Development:
  • Engaged in social activities to step out of comfort zone (improv club, karaoke, bars/clubs).
  • Feels a lack of deep connections and a small social circle despite good conversational skills.
• Sense of Achievement:
  • Feels pressure to achieve something prestigious due to comparing self with others, including a successful younger brother.
  • Concerned about not having a clear purpose or enough achievements.
• Uncertainty and Exploration:
  • Contemplates switching to other fields (e.g., economics, business) but worries about wasting years of study.
  • Seeks a life purpose that aligns with values and will last through a significant part of their career.
• Reflections on Values and Purpose:
  • Wonders how to align biology with personal values and how to establish a lasting life purpose.
  • Observes that many people pursue careers based on interests rather than explicit values.

 

@LastThursday said: "What advice should be given for the above?"

ChatGPT

Given the complexity of your situation, here’s some advice to help you navigate your confusion and find a clearer direction in life:

1. Clarify and Prioritize Your Values

Reevaluate Your Values: Revisit your values list and prioritize them. Consider what makes you feel most fulfilled and how these align with your current and potential career paths.

Experiment with Integration: Try to integrate your top values (e.g., fun, excitement, pleasure) into your studies or career exploration. For example, look for areas in biology that might be more interactive or dynamic, such as fieldwork or public health outreach.

2. Explore Career Options in Biology

Broad Career Exploration: Investigate different career paths within biology that might align more with your interests and values. Consider careers outside of the lab, such as science communication, teaching, biotech sales, or roles that involve more human interaction.

Shadowing and Internships: Seek opportunities to shadow professionals in various biology-related fields or pursue internships to gain firsthand experience and see what resonates with you.

3. Combine Interests and Career Goals

Cross-Disciplinary Paths: Consider how you can combine biology with other interests like psychology, business, or technology. Fields like neurobiology, bioinformatics, or biotech entrepreneurship might offer a blend of your interests.

Side Projects: Engage in side projects or hobbies that align with other interests (e.g., starting a blog or YouTube channel related to science communication, attending seminars on different subjects). This can help you explore your passions without fully committing to a career switch.

4. Address Your Achievement Concerns

Set Achievable Milestones: Break down your long-term goals into smaller, achievable milestones. This will help you build a sense of progress and accomplishment.

Focus on Personal Growth: Rather than comparing yourself to others, focus on your own growth and development. Celebrate small victories and acknowledge how far you’ve come.

5. Social and Personal Development

Expand Your Social Network: Continue stepping out of your comfort zone to meet new people. Joining clubs, attending seminars, or participating in online communities related to your interests can help you form deeper connections.

Build Confidence: Practice self-compassion and self-awareness to build confidence in your social interactions. Recognize that social skills improve with time and practice.

6. Reflect on Life Purpose

Take Time for Self-Reflection: Regularly set aside time for self-reflection. Journaling, meditation, or speaking with a mentor or therapist can help you gain clarity on what truly matters to you.

Consider Professional Guidance: If you’re still struggling with clarity, consider taking a structured course on life purpose or working with a career coach to help you define your mission and direction.

7. Stay Open to Change

Be Open to Evolution: Understand that your life purpose and values may evolve over time. It’s okay to pivot and explore new directions as you gain more experience and self-awareness.

Don’t Rush Decisions: Take the time to explore your options before making significant changes, like switching fields. Ensure that any major decisions align with your deeper values and long-term happiness.

This approach will help you align your career with your values, provide a clearer sense of direction, and ultimately lead to a more fulfilling life.

 

 

[DianaFr]

A fellow molecular biologist here. I will give you an advice I would give to my younger self. Stop putting so much pressure on your life purpose!!! You can't get it wrong! You seem to try so hard to identify your values and integrate them into your career, that it makes me want to say - hey, relax and just enjoy yourself! It's not that it's wrong to do that, but I don't want you to follow the perfect map you think you have to follow, just to discover you're falling short. It's okay to not know things and it's also okay to not have the success others have. It means absolutely nothing bad about you! When it comes to values and purpose, it's more about self-discovery. That involves experimenting and learning from your experiences. People often learn about their true values in their thirties, fourties or later when all the bruises and bumps gotten along the way finally click - and then they KNOW. I don't know much about you, but in order for you to reach your true values, you must strip away the layers of social conditioning that might interfere with what feels good or not to you. Just get yourself into stuff and see if the values you've identified still stand. It literally doesn't matter if you stick with biology or move to business or become a photographer and travel the world. It doesn't matter and you can't get it wrong!! You can still impact the world positively no matter how perfectly or not you live off the script. Just do stuff, see what happens, reflect, digest your lesson, lay out your next move and do stuff again. You'll be just fine! 

[EdgeGod900]

The life purpose course can answer a lot, if not all, of your concerns.

I recommend you take it, since it seems like having a life purpose is important to you.

Do you think couple of hundreds of dollars is not worth it for the possible clarity his course might reveal about your life purpose and how to prevent traps in pursuing it?

 

 

[Schizophonia]

Limiting dispersion of your sexual energy by practicing non natural over-stimulant and/or time consuming and often useless activities.