Let's settle the 'nice guy' debate once and for all.

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, Nemra said:

I don't think so.

Ok

[Applegarden8]

19 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I'm sorry but I was just responding to your comment saying you're a feminine guy as you make art and cross your legs and all i said was those traits don't automatically make a man feminine. Seems like (and this is just my opinion) that you're defending your feminine identity and not understanding all i said to you was how I felt about it. It's all opinions. No one here said or asked you to prove anything. That comment came out of thin air and you're trying to insult me by me just saying what I think about a man being feminine. Anyone can go back and read our conversation and see there was not a bit of insult, asking you to prove anything or trying to disqualify you on my part. I'm through with this conversation, thank you. 

All you do is throw insults at me when I communicate to you respectfully, so I'll just add you to my list of people I will stop communicating with. See, no problems only solutions. I can tell when it's personal and nothing to do with what I said in the moment. 

Ok, I don't need to study and analyze all the aspects which makes a human being feminine nor list the ones I have. I am not preparing for a debate. I listed two and it made you think I am not. So now I have to prove something to you. Whatever. All the best to you. See you.

[Basman]

In "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover, a Nice Guy is defined as someone who doesn't feel safe or acceptable to be who they are. Its a paradigm of hiding ones flaws and becoming what you think others want you to be.

Being approval seeking of woman will tend to create resentment because they inevitably fail to respond how you want them to. I think the growing resentment guys have towards women online is at least partially due to inexperience and a sense of inadequacy.

 

Edited August 5 by Basman

[Davino]

@Leo Gura Why didn't you answer me?

You scared of telling me what you think or you prefer not to comment? Or need more info?

I expect a respect when I talk to you because I give you that respect.

Edited August 6 by Davino

[Tenebroso]

My observation is that the more destructive and machiavellian you are as a man, the better you do with women. All types of women, in other words; morality, kindness, emotional intelligence etc have almost nothing to do with what will attract a woman to a man.

Women hate nice guys so much that they have constructed an elaborate myth that nice guys are the real problem. What they are actually doing is making a post hoc rationalization to justify their repulsion to unattractive, sensitive men. Since woman must always have the moral high ground they have to vilify unattractive men. It is actually a form of dehumanization.

High status/fame, physical attractiveness (women contrary to popular belief care more about looks) and aggression. These are the most important things in attracting women. Your inner self and all that other stuff you are sold don't mean anything. It's not about age (see The Tinder Swindler), it's not about upbringing (women from stable backgrounds date drug dealers and murderers too). 

Women today basically admit all of this without explicitly saying it. There are dating subreddits with millions of users. Everyday women ask some variation of "how can I get my fuckbuddy to commit to me?", "why am I only attracted to assholes?" while most questions from men are just about how to get a date and not be invisible. So who are these toxic men breaking hearts, abusing etc and where is that famous intuition that can read the true character of any man, interestingly doesn't function with a minority of men.

There was a band in the uk where the lead singer was convicted and jailed for sexually abusing a minor. What do grown, adult women do? they offer themselves to him to be abused. Wade Wilson murders two women and then receives 4000 letters.

A man should be a good, nice man for himself and his own self respect and integrity if he wishes. However, you can't blame men for choosing a more amoral path. Human behaviour and interaction is a game of incentives and there is zero incentive to be a good man when the mask of true female nature is revealed.

The thing is I wouldn't want to live in some traditional past where gender relations were supposedly better, it was an artificial blip due to unique socio-economic pressures after the industrial revolution. What we see today is who women have always been.

Edited August 6 by Tenebroso

[BlessedLion]

Dig it, Women want a leadership - almost father like man in their lives. That is the masculine. Support, structure, leadership, guidance. This allows her to relax and drop into her feminine, which renews the masculine. This outweighs looks, humor, vibe, everything else. Women will drop everything for a man who has vision and stability in his frame. 
 

The following is a perfect example;

 

 

[BlessedLion]

Don’t underestimate the power of having your shit together 

[CARDOZZO]

Nice is different than Kind.

Woman love kind guys but not nice ones.

A savage kind man is a warrior with heart (vulnerable side).

 

[mr_engineer]

48 minutes ago, CARDOZZO said:

Nice is different than Kind.

Woman love kind guys but not nice ones.

A savage kind man is a warrior with heart (vulnerable side).

 

This is theoretical nonsense. 

[Leo Gura]

17 hours ago, Davino said:

I do feel like I haven't satisfied all my sexual desires because I entered very young in my relationship and now that I've built it up, those cravings are coming up. 

So it's kinda of a difficult situation because on the hand I see the wisdom and I'm very happy with building an amazing life with my lovely woman but on the other will I have to repress the craving to fuck other women for the rest of my life?

My answer to you is simple and the same as before:

If you are struggling so much with these questions then you are not mature enough for marriage.

It's like you are a child struggling to play basketball with the adults and wondering why. The answer is that you still have yet to grow up. And growing up is not something you can just do by believing yourself to be grown up, you actually have to go through the difficult and long process of growing up. It's not a state, it's a stage, as Wilber would say.

You have to be honest about your own level of maturity and development in this work. It is easy to fool ourselves that we are more mature than we really are.

Realistically, if you want a successful marriage you would need to strategize years into advance, create a period on your life where you have lots of sex with lots of people, get that craving out of your system, learn what you need in a wife, and then select a wife AFTER all that. That would be an intelligent method, rather than just stumbling into a marriage by accident.

People mostly fail in life from lack of sold pragmatic long-term strategy, diligently executed.

You expect marraige to be accidental rather than something you craft through a decade of prep-work. The less forethought you put into major life endeavors the more traps you will fall into.

Then again, maybe you are mature enough. I don't know you.

Edited August 6 by Leo Gura

[Princess Arabia]

12 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

My observation is that the more destructive and machiavellian you are as a man, the better you do with women. All types of women, in other words; morality, kindness, emotional intelligence etc have almost nothing to do with what will attract a woman to a man.

Women hate nice guys so much that they have constructed an elaborate myth that nice guys are the real problem. What they are actually doing is making a post hoc rationalization to justify their repulsion to unattractive, sensitive men. Since woman must always have the moral high ground they have to vilify unattractive men. It is actually a form of dehumanization.

High status/fame, physical attractiveness (women contrary to popular belief care more about looks) and aggression. These are the most important things in attracting women. Your inner self and all that other stuff you are sold don't mean anything. It's not about age (see The Tinder Swindler), it's not about upbringing (women from stable backgrounds date drug dealers and murderers too). 

Women today basically admit all of this without explicitly saying it. There are dating subreddits with millions of users. Everyday women ask some variation of "how can I get my fuckbuddy to commit to me?", "why am I only attracted to assholes?" while most questions from men are just about how to get a date and not be invisible. So who are these toxic men breaking hearts, abusing etc and where is that famous intuition that can read the true character of any man, interestingly doesn't function with a minority of men.

There was a band in the uk where the lead singer was convicted and jailed for sexually abusing a minor. What do grown, adult women do? they offer themselves to him to be abused. Wade Wilson murders two women and then receives 4000 letters.

A man should be a good, nice man for himself and his own self respect and integrity if he wishes. However, you can't blame men for choosing a more amoral path. Human behaviour and interaction is a game of incentives and there is zero incentive to be a good man when the mask of true female nature is revealed.

The thing is I wouldn't want to live in some traditional past where gender relations were supposedly better, it was an artificial blip due to unique socio-economic pressures after the industrial revolution. What we see today is who women have always been.

8billion people half are women another 1/3 of dating age so that's 4billion - 2billion. Ok my math is off let's go down to 2mil you said 4000, how is that all women. Do you understand there's are different types of women just like there are different types of men. Please give females the same courtesy of difference like you give males. You make no sense. Men are different but women are all the same.

Geesh everything changes and nothing stays the same - only your story. Same old story. I guess Consciousness got stuck as a broken record when it imagined you. Turn your attention on decent, respectable mature wise confident beautiful inside and out women with a heart of gold and you'll see examples of them. Change the way you feel about yourself and you'll attract one of those women. You describe yourself as unattractive, there's the problem right there. It's how you feel about yourself why you can't attract decent women. And also looking at TV and internet and blogs and forums and all that. Everything exists, but we get to see what we're focused on the most and the stories we tell ourselves. I don't admit to anything that you're saying and neither do my friends. So these women you're referring to are of the same category that you're imagining in your story.

My gift to you. 

I just watched this video, and I love how this guy explains this stuff. We talked before about this and i'm sure you didn't give it time because here you are again with the same mindset. If you really want to see a difference you need to start applying this stuff and stop the complaining and looking at what you're seeing on the outside. All you speak about is other people, other men and other women. You are the light of consciousness in an infinite field of possibilities and whatever you put your attention on grows, whatever you keep complaining about with emotion and intensity you get more of. It's you, it's all you. I'm only here to speak to you as you. 

The video is a half hr of pure gold. Watch and really start to apply these things and try to stop telling the same future story. What you're seeing is what you have called forth and what you continue to do and believe. He explains this stuff beautifully. Maybe subscribe to his channel and read his book and change who you are and the mindset you have created for yourself. 

All that you're saying is true for you and surely exists. Everything exists. So you're not lying or not speaking from experience, but that's one possibility of which there are infinte.

Edited August 6 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

5 hours ago, Davino said:

@Leo Gura Why didn't you answer me?

You scared of telling me what you think or you prefer not to comment? Or need more info?

I expect a respect when I talk to you because I give you that respect.

Why you taking it personal. He ignores me at times too, he answers what he feels like, when he feels like on what topics he feels like. It's not personal or about respect. I'm sure he ignores many other comments from others too. 

[Princess Arabia]

18 hours ago, Davino said:

I do feel like I haven't satisfied all my sexual desires because I entered very young in my relationship and now that I've built it up, those cravings are coming up. 

So it's kinda of a difficult situation because on the hand I see the wisdom and I'm very happy with building an amazing life with my lovely woman but on the other will I have to repress the craving to fuck other women for the rest of my life?

Nothing new for the male species. Why do you want to be with other women if you're so happy with your current one. You're one of the more respectable men on the forum and you seem to love and cherish your relationship and you're still having desires to sleep with other women. Can't help it. It's how you're wired. That's why love is not in my radar when it comes to men. Eventually they'll want to cheat, just a matter of time. It's not about being mature or not mature for marriage. It's the married men and long-term relationshippers that have desires to cheat, I said this once on the forum before that single men are out looking for gfs and then they settle in and then go cheat or they marry, sit there for awhile and then go cheat. Men find it hard to be faithful, period. 

 

 

Edited August 6 by Princess Arabia

[Leo Gura]

5 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

Since woman must always have the moral high ground they have to vilify unattractive men.

Women don't vilify unattractive men, they just ignore them. And that's what drives men crazy, to then vilify women.

What you really want is a hot girl's attention. And when she doesn't give it to you get butt-hurt, but rather tham face that hurt, you start to hate women and rationalize that hatred.

Edited August 6 by Leo Gura

[kamill]

20 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

 But looks actually do correlate to leadership in a loose way. A tall masculine-looking guy is more easily accepted as a leader by others.

 

Man this is such a bad take people dont follow you because of good looks. You can look like brad pitt but if you not competent poeple will not follow. Maybe 2% out of 100% goes to looks and thats nothing.

[sleep]

@kamill To be fair he said nothing about it being his particular case. "More easily accepted as leader" doesn't equate to "The only reason people follow others"

[kamill]

50 minutes ago, sleep said:

@kamill To be fair he said nothing about it being his particular case. "More easily accepted as leader" doesn't equate to "The only reason people follow others"

But why woudl he even mention that.

Expecting someone to be a good leader just because they are good-looking is like expecting someone to be a great chef just because they have a nice kitchen. It's not the appearance that makes a leader or a chef great, but the skills, knowledge, and experience they bring to the table.

 

Leo probably spends a lot of time on the internet.

Edited August 6 by kamill

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, kamill said:

Man this is such a bad take people dont follow you because of good looks. You can look like brad pitt but if you not competent poeple will not follow. Maybe 2% out of 100% goes to looks and thats nothing.

There is actually scientific research that shows that tall good-looking men are statistically over-represented in leadership roles, like CEOs. That's because it is easier for them to land those roles because people give them the benefit of the doubt that they will be good leaders.

Good looks IS an important factor. Good looks also signify strength and physical health, which leaders require. You can't be an effective sick feeble leader.

When you compare Joe Biden to Gavin Newsom you can see how much looks matters. Biden's lack of health cost him the president.

And women very much must care about leadership because without it they are raped, killed, or enslaved. So all things being equal a woman would be suicidal to sleep with a guy who doesn't look like a leader. A woman's entire nervous system is wired to sniff out such men like a pig sniffs out truffles.

Of course women are sniffing for much more than any 1 factor. They sniff for a subtle constellation of factors.

As a guy, if you keep failing their sniff test you get hurt, bitter, resentful, hateful, and finally violent.

Edited August 6 by Leo Gura

[kamill]

20 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Good looks IS an important factor. Good looks also signify strength and physical health, which leaders require. You can't be an effective sick feeble leader.

When you compare Joe Biden to Gavin Newsom you can see how much looks matters. Biden's lack of health cost him the president.

Of course, a leader cannot be mentally dull or physically unwell. Yet, despite what you’ve said about not considering yourself very attractive, just look at you what a leader with integrity you are

[Leo Gura]

11 minutes ago, kamill said:

Of course, a leader cannot be mentally dull or physically unwell. Yet, despite what you’ve said about not considering yourself very attractive, just look at you what a leader with integrity you are

I am a great example of how much leadership is limited by health.

If my health was better I would be 10x a better leader than I am. And I would also have attracted 10x more girls to sleep with.