Let's settle the 'nice guy' debate once and for all.

[Davino]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The reason women get horny for guys is because they crave leadership. When you fail to lead you make her vagina dry. Nothing is more pathetic than a man who cannot claim his vagina.

That makes sense, my experience tells me the same.

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Well, in that case you are not ready for marriage, I would say. You need to get the fucking out of your system, burn through that karma.

I fucking know but what if burning through that karma means losing something more valuable? I do have cravings, I guess everyone does even if they are happy in their relationship.

I do feel like I haven't satisfied all my sexual desires because I entered very young in my relationship and now that I've built it up, those cravings are coming up. 

So it's kinda of a difficult situation because on the hand I see the wisdom and I'm very happy with building an amazing life with my lovely woman but on the other will I have to repress the craving to fuck other women for the rest of my life?

Other types of relationship contracts don't seem very plausible and it seems all would crash. So all of this situation creates inner conflict as I get pulled towards different sides simultaneously and I cannot find a unified holism that gets me peace and integrity.

Excuse me if I didn't get enough context in the last message. It is indeed a personal issue that I need advice for.

[Princess Arabia]

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The reason women get horny for guys is because they crave leadership. When you fail to lead you make her vagina dry. Nothing is more pathetic than a man who cannot claim his vagina.

 Yes, women love leadership; but do you think I want some guy I just met to lead me, not in that sense anyway. Your last sentence is you seeing women as just a vagina, nothing wrong with that if that's your thing but that's why your dating advice can be misleading to guys who value women more than just a vagina. Your advice about women are about the ones just looking for a lay. Again, nothing wrong with that, but your male audience should learn how to differentiate the two. You're just looking to get laid so your advices will focus on that and that alone; but some guys aren't just looking for that and that's where they need to know the difference. 

[Sugarcoat]

You can be nice because you’re simply a nice person. Doesn’t have to be an agenda behind it. What is the reason for not being nice? By nice I just mean basic respect. I don’t mean being extra. Maybe our definition is different. Not helping a homeless person is not being rude. It’s similar to not giving money to charities when you’re asked to sign up for one on the street. There’s so many things you could be doing to improve the world, you’re not being rude by not doing it, you’re just using your money in other ways. You can be nice to a homeless person while still not helping them out financially which you don’t owe them.

Edited August 5 by Sugarcoat

[Princess Arabia]

4 hours ago, Nemra said:

@Leo Gura 

I have been thinking about it, and I think that it can get problematic for me. I realized that I also crave leadership as a male. Do I need to change my mindset regardless of my craving?

You did say you were bi...maybe that's a factor.

[Applegarden8]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I don't know.

Men these days are half women, so who knows what is right for whom.

But isn't it interesting that when people come together and make larger society and by the virtue of technology it is a feature that gender roles and behavior even seem to diffuse. In the past if you were male you had to by circumstance emit these qualities. Now it's not necessary. But since attraction is very instinctive and people don't or can't self-reflect, the full circle of matching circumstance and expectation never happens. BTW I am a pretty feminine male, because I like to create art and seemingly meaningless things. I even sit with my legs crossed. I like being a man tho.

[Princess Arabia]

10 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

In a capitalistic society, the reason people behave nicely with each other, is because they want to have a good relationship with that person, for their own selfish reasons. Not out of the goodness of their hearts, not 'out of love'. You will behave very nicely with a famous person and you will ignore a homeless person on the street (sucks for the homeless person, but it's true).

Let me clarify something here. What you're saying here is just speculation, what you assume to be the case with all people, or even most. Well, maybe it's most, idk but it's certainly not that way with me. I don't need to justify, defend or deny any of this on a public forum where no one really knows me on a personal level because it wouldn't make a difference as this is just forum talk; but I'm certainly not that way and i can be nice to a homeless person just like I can be to a famous person, or I could be rude to a famous person just like I could be rude to a homeless. Doesn't make any difference to me if I feel justified in responding how i responded because of how I was approached or treated.

I'll give homeless veterans that come up to the car with their signs $ and smile at them and I'll give bums who say they're hungry and need food. What they do with it is another matter. I'm assisting people in wheelchairs and the elderly. If I see someone crying, I'll go over to and ask what's wrong. I even wanted to win the lottery once so I could help the homeless and hungry bums on the street. I had fantasies about cooking food and handing it out to the homeless. I could go on about how I'm kind to these people without needing anything in return and how sometimes I would stand my ground to someone i would consider of value in my life but I didn't care because I hate being disrespected and will even in my work refuse to see someone that disrespected me. So it's not all about what I'm gaining why I'll be nice; I'm nice to everyone regardless of status until my buttons have been pushed. 

Only reason I'm not nice to anyone is if they were rude to me or my safety feels threatened; which to me, are both good reasons. Other than that, I'm either neutral or extending a helping hand whenever I can and that includes strangers.

Edited August 5 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

22 minutes ago, Applegarden8 said:

BTW I am a pretty feminine male, because I like to create art and seemingly meaningless things. I even sit with my legs crossed. I like being a man tho.

This doesn't automatically qualify you as being feminine. Lots of masculine men make art and cross their legs.

[meta_male]

27 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Your advice about women are about the ones just looking for a lay.

More about leadership. Never have I attracted a woman without taking the lead.

[Princess Arabia]

37 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

You can be nice because you’re simply a nice person. Doesn’t have to be an agenda behind it. What is the reason for not being nice? By nice I just mean basic respect. I don’t mean being extra. Maybe our definition is different. Not helping a homeless person is not being rude. It’s similar to not giving money to charities when you’re asked to sign up for one on the street. There’s so many things you could be doing to improve the world, you’re not being rude by not doing it, you’re just using your money in other ways. You can be nice to a homeless person while still not helping them out financially which you don’t owe them.

Exactly, that's what I explained in my response. I'm not going around being miss nicey to everyone; but like you said, basic respect. I've shun the homeless and beggars and have ignored them and i've given them $$ whenever I felt like it. I've talked down to people of status when they've been rude to me also. Ilve done things many tines that i thought was normal and people would say you did that? And how they were impressed. I would be shocked sometimes because I look at those things as normal. But i'm not alone because I've seen kindness extended to strangers before and I know of people who don't care who you are bum or not they will treat you with respect no matter what unselfishly. 

[Princess Arabia]

12 minutes ago, meta_male said:

More about leadership. Never have I attracted a woman without taking the lead.

That's not what I was referring to with this response made from the comment he made. A female looking for a long-term relationship or marriage doesn't go around with a wet pussy and gets dried up if the man doesn't claim that pum pum. Her mind is somewhere else. A woman also allows you to lead. You ain't leading shit if she doesn't authorize you to in her mind. Notice in my comment I also said women love leadership.

So, when Leo speaks in this respect, he speaks of quick lays, one night stands or casual sexual encounters. Nothing to do with women in general. 

Edited August 5 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

14 minutes ago, meta_male said:

More about leadership. Never have I attracted a woman without taking the lead.

Never have I gone with a man who didn't take the lead. So, that's not a discrepancy. 

Edited August 5 by Princess Arabia

[Applegarden8]

28 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

This doesn't automatically qualify you as being feminine. Lots of masculine men make art and cross their legs.

You should marry @Schizophonia, you guys have a lot in common. You could disqualify each other for the rest of your lives.

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, Applegarden8 said:

You should marry @Schizophonia, you guys have a lot in common. You could disqualify each other for the rest of your lives.

Ok, you are feminine. Happy lol

[Applegarden8]

4 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Ok, you are feminine. Happy lol

It doesn't matter. I don't have to prove my personal intuitions to anybody.

[Sugarcoat]

38 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Exactly, that's what I explained in my response. I'm not going around being miss nicey to everyone; but like you said, basic respect. I've shun the homeless and beggars and have ignored them and i've given them $$ whenever I felt like it. I've talked down to people of status when they've been rude to me also. Ilve done things many tines that i thought was normal and people would say you did that? And how they were impressed. I would be shocked sometimes because I look at those things as normal. But i'm not alone because I've seen kindness extended to strangers before and I know of people who don't care who you are bum or not they will treat you with respect no matter what unselfishly. 

I agree 👍🏻 I’ve done the same 

[Princess Arabia]

25 minutes ago, Applegarden8 said:

It doesn't matter. I don't have to prove my personal intuitions to anybody.

Funny how a simple comment trying to tell you that those traits in a man doesn't automatically means he's feminine turn into who I should marry and how you don't have to prove anything to anyone. Sometimes it's just best to keep your mouth shut.

[FourCrossedWands]

But, what if I am a genuinely nice guy?

What if another guy tells me I am a loser/dickead and I say "thank you" and buy him a drink and give him lots of smiles/compliments, then hug and kiss him?

Do girls find it attractive?

Edited August 5 by FourCrossedWands

[Applegarden8]

15 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Funny how a simple comment trying to tell you that those traits in a man doesn't automatically means he's feminine turn into who I should marry and how you don't have to prove anything to anyone. Sometimes it's just best to keep your mouth shut.

It is funny that I have to prove that I am something. That is funny. And it not even the topic of the thread. Maybe you would like to marry me instead so that we can disqualify each other and try to have a final word about nothing. BTW I type with my mouth closed, idk how about you. See you 9000 posts later.

Edited August 5 by Applegarden8

[Princess Arabia]

17 minutes ago, Applegarden8 said:

It is funny that I have to prove that I am something. That is funny. And it not even the topic of the thread. Maybe you would like to marry me instead so that we can disqualify each other and try to have a final word about nothing. BTW I type with my mouth closed, idk how about you.

I'm sorry but I was just responding to your comment saying you're a feminine guy as you make art and cross your legs and all i said was those traits don't automatically make a man feminine. Seems like (and this is just my opinion) that you're defending your feminine identity and not understanding all i said to you was how I felt about it. It's all opinions. No one here said or asked you to prove anything. That comment came out of thin air and you're trying to insult me by me just saying what I think about a man being feminine. Anyone can go back and read our conversation and see there was not a bit of insult, asking you to prove anything or trying to disqualify you on my part. I'm through with this conversation, thank you. 

All you do is throw insults at me when I communicate to you respectfully, so I'll just add you to my list of people I will stop communicating with. See, no problems only solutions. I can tell when it's personal and nothing to do with what I said in the moment. 

Edited August 5 by Princess Arabia

[Nemra]

2 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

You did say you were bi...maybe that's a factor.

I don't think so.