Have I Become An Alien?

[hinawashi]

Hi everyone, I'm Hina and I'm new here. I'm an immigrant from Japan. I've watched quite a few of Leo's videos, but I haven't found this forum so I just joined tonight to see how the community is like.

Over the few years I've struggled with a crippling inferiority complex and I've read a lot of self-help books both from Japan and America, and gradually I became more and more self-aware even before I've seen any of Leo's videos. His videos simply confirmed that whatever I've been reading in the past are true. But here's the main problem. I try to share my experience with my friends and family and nobody understands what I'm talking about! It's like all of a sudden I'm talking in an alien language!

This really makes me feel... alienated. Sometimes I had to resort to talking to my stuffed animals just to make it feel like I'm talking to an audience, or at least "someone" to reinforce what I've learned. It makes me feel really lonely and empty inside.

On the plus side I did became self-aware and my inferiority complex is gone, at least for now, so I guess that's the amount of tax I pay for this level of awareness.

[abrakamowse]

Welcome to the club @hinawashi  You are Ok. People don't want to hear they are wrong, they don't want to know they judge others, they don't want to deny or kill their egos. And they are being manipulated by what they think they are, by their ego. So, it's obvious that the ego will say "I don't understand"...

The stuff you are learning is too deep for them. You are Ok, you have to get used to that and find friends who can understand what you are talking about. And you are right, you are paying "taxes" Lol... that's the byproduct of being aware.

Good Luck!!!!

Edited April 25, 2017 by abrakamowse

[YaNanNallari]

I'm just going to say that you're totally normal, just different. No need to feel ashamed over thinking differently or disagreeing. I think you'll eventually find people who can be open minded enough to understand a lot of the stuff you're talking about and maybe befriend them. I can't tell how long it's been since you've talked to people in alien language but surely at first you might feel weird if you didn't see the odd looks coming when you talk in this different language. I think it will pass once you gain some perspective on what it means to think differently. It's a big difference to think so differently compared to others but it's still an understandable one. When it comes to loneliness just letting go and letting it be makes it fade away for me. Accepting and thinking that it's fine you don't have anyone you deeply connect with right now. It's all good. Also realizing how silly loneliness can be sometimes and that it can be sort of like worrying about something you can't do anything about. You might still be lonely after going through my tips but it won't take it down with you, or that's how it went with me. Nowadays if I do get lonely it's not really loneliness, it's more like extra social insecurity and I get lonely very rarely or it's very mild because I accept it without question. Hope this helps!

[Arkandeus]

keep changing, you'll grow spiritually and evolve to a point where you will radiate awareness, love, warmth, uniqueness, and much more...
THEN people will be ready to listen to your spiritual advice. 

timing is very important, it is a matter of feeling, some people will be ready to discuss this with you, some not. 
But people are always watching, as you evolve they will start being curious, and when you thrive you will feel it, you will feel that they are ready to listen. 
so have the timing of a cat, the day will come when your family will want to hear what changed you so much, they are always listening subconsciously and consciously, do not worry ,just keep growing. 

also your stuffed animals are made of consciousness and atoms that posses a consciousness, your stuffed animal is pretty much alive and has its own form of consciousness. 
so do not feel alienated, when you share your stories with your stuffed animals, that is a beautiful act of love

[hinawashi]

Thanks for the thoughtful comments, everyone. It really helped, not in the way that I looked for validation but rather it's good to see that I'm definitely not alone in the dark.

I always knew I was the "odd one out". The most striking thought that came to me, like how @abrakamowse said, it's more of this language of the ego that people speak around me, which I don't speak anymore. But it's not like I can't speak ego, it's just I choose not to.

One thing I noticed that people who have low levels of consciousness often complain/blame, run away from problems, or just play the good old ostrich game and deny everything. So naturally I give some advice here and there, but then they pretend to understand but then immediately ignore me, or they think I'm "weird" (the dreaded word Leo uses a lot), and sometimes when I'm discussing this with my family they just seem to hijack my topic and blabber on and on about themselves. That's why it's been near impossible for me to communicate.

As for loneliness, I can totally relate to @YaNanNallari. Yes, it's uncomfortable, but that's my choice. One analogy that I keep talking to myself (and my stuffed animals) is that of a rock rolling down a hill. We might say that the rock is free because there's nothing preventing it from rolling all the way down. However, we can also say that the rock isn't free at all, because the direction which the rock rolls is dictated by the laws of physics and gravity. If the rock is truly free then it can give gravity the middle finger and roll uphill all of a sudden. Imagine seeing that in real life, people would panic and think there's some sort of paranormal activity going on, and that's exactly the way they look at me now. While they don't see me as someone who's possessed by demons, but at least in a way that isn't agreeable.

Going to the point raised by @Arkandeus, I agree that people will eventually be curious. I mean how can you NOT be curious if you see a rock rolling upfill against gravity? Scientists would be pulling their hairs out trying to figure out what happened, and that's why I haven't given up my hopes yet, because some day, someone will approach me and hopefully I'll be able to share my experiences with them in a meaningful manner.