Hopefully a meeting with my far childhood school teacher

[Nivsch]

I feel this question is suitable to this forum because of the inner struggle I have with this issue and how it challenges me emotionally. I will try to explain in head lines chronologically and then the question.

Two months ago I found out through a third person that my teacher from 1-3th grades (28 years ago...) goes to the same barber I go to since childhood.

This is not just a regular teacher but she was like our educator who was with us for five hours every day for 3 years in very young ages of 7-9 years old. In initial grades the teacher is as many of you know can be very significant.

She has talked to me in those years about my social difficultied and insecures I had back then and her presence in my childhood life had imprinted very strongly on my mind till today.

At the moment my barber realized she was my teacher, she imediately called her when I was there (in hair routine) but I was so scared at the moment so I instinctively took my hand to her phone which was on the table and cutted off the calling before she could answer.

I explained to her that I am sorry but I was scared to do this spontaneous talk and she immediately understood me "You are excited. I understand". So instead, I asked her number and then when in home I chatted with here (the teacher) and we decided we will do a meeting in one of the next times she is in the town to a hair routine again and that will notice me then.

The thing is that its been 2 months since then, and today I was in the barber again and found out she was there again but didn't noticed me. What bothered me is that this time, the barber said "Why do you want to meet with her? To consult with her?" She didn't forget the basics but was just dettached emotionally.

I was shocked because what isn't clear here? The previous time you understood my excitement right away, but today you reacted like this is a super marginal thing.

My two questions:

1. How would you, from your life experience, explain her reaction?

I started to think about some more deep explanation that people can remember things and understand them logically, but their emotions about the things are always changes and she has not encoded the situation in her mind as I did. Or that her emotional state today was though in a good mood, different.

2. More importantly, the teacher, how and when I remind her my desire to meet with her?

I strongly don't want to push it, but want the meeting will come organically when both sides will be free for. If I push it too much I feel this will be "fake" and not a genuine nostalgic meeting. Also I am afraid she will say she doesn't want to, because what happened today has reduced my confidence.

I think to wait until september/October to see if she messages me and if not only then to write a (friendly) reminder.

I am interested to hear what are your thoughts and insights about that from your experience with people, and maybe even if you had quite identical or very similar situation.

Edited August 3 by Nivsch

[Evelyna]

@Nivsch Hi , you can't know ins and outs of someones life or reasons for doing or not doing something. You said you going to wait few months and then send a reminder? That's a little creepy and weird. Maybe she didn't mind talking on the phone but found meeting in person a little weird, i'm just assuming from a woman's point of view. My thoughts are : leave the woman alone, if she wanted to meet with you she would have and if you push it you might be seen as a stalker. 

Edited August 5 by Evelyna

[Nivsch]

@Evelyna Aren't you a little harsh here?

I will explain, 1. Because it will be only the second message ever to her and after months. And 2. because she asked about what I do today when we chatted and said she was happy to hear from me and that we will may meet in one of the next times. Again its not like we are strangers because 28 years ago she was with me five hours a day, six times a week for three years.

Edited August 5 by Nivsch

[Evelyna]

@Nivsch I don’t think I was being harsh at all. Just think from her perspective, and you are strangers , 28 years ago is a long time ago and you were a child, she doesn’t know you as an adult, haven’t seen you in 28 years probably hadn’t even thought about you as I assume she had many students over the years and you must have been in a class so it wasn’t one to one time for 3 years 6 days a week, some people would be very polite on the phone but think it is a little strange. Your desire to meet with her might not be her desire and people have free will to decide for themselves what they want to do, reasons worn’t be known. 

[Nivsch]

@Evelyna I had an idea that I can display the second message as an update one that I moved to another city (what I will do probably soon) so it will be easier for me to come half way to you, and I wonder maybe if the message is in this vibe it won't be weird I am wondering, don't know the answer accurately.

Edited August 5 by Nivsch

[Basman]

Don't be so down bad to meet a former acquaintance of 28 years. Its weird and a little unhinged. If you randomly get a chance, then sure, but don't try to push for a particular outcome.

You school teacher has probably has had a semi-intimate contact with hundreds of children. Its just her job. Its not important that you meet her again.