Love Or Obsession? Hold On Or Let Go?

[Uncover]

Firstly, sorry for my poor English. I am not a native speaker. 

Last year, in my first year of college, I met a beautiful girl that I fell in love with instantly. That was love at first sight. Every time after that day I wanted to tell her what I feel but a barely could say hello to her. Every time that I met her my heart was pounding, my entire body was shaking and most importantly, I've lost all my words when I saw her. I needed nothing more but to see her. I spent many days (and I still do) thinking of her and after a while (a month or more) I've decided to tell her what I feel about her. I couldn't tell her face to face so I used the socializing networks to help me out. I think that this is one of my biggest regrets, that I couldn't talk to her face to face. I still have doubts that I could talk freely to her if I will have the chance. So, I told her what I feel but she told me that she do not feels the same. She told me that we will remain friends and nothing more. In the first place I liked that, I agreed that. But after a while (not more that a week) I did ask her why here can't be more. She replied that it can't be... So I insisted even more, and she replied that her mind is in the past, to another boy, her ex. She even said that she feels very sorry about me, but we can't be together.   I insisted even more till I got her angry on me and she said some things that really convinced me that time that it is over. So, I did unfriend her from the social media and decided that I will never contact her again. But after 5 months (yesterday) after I went on deleting her form my friends list I texted her again. That time, when we talked to each other I only asked her about her studies, how is she doing... just ordinary things, and she replied me. I want to mention that to all messages that referred to love she did not replied. Now I did send romantic pics, text and gifs to which I expected a reply, but all I got was a "seen". On the one hand I want to let her go (~20%) because it hurts me. Not only psychically but physically too, I got hypertension... (I think that this is the main cause).  But on the other hand I still hope that one day, in the future we will be together.  Deep down inside my heart I still hope. I want to mention that on that 5 months after I deleted her from my friends list I did not bother her. Eventually I stared at her photos (just once or twice). I want nothing more from her than to be by my side, to see her everyday, to hug her everyday to grow together. So what do you think? Is this love? Is this obsession? Should I hold on or should I let go? Have some advice on what to let go? If this is the final decision... I don't want that... If I could just talk to her face to face... Any opinion is welcomed! Thank you!! One more mention, my grades decreased considerably after I deleted her from my fried list... I'm worried, not to mention that I never had a girlfriend... Help, please!!!

Edited February 14, 2016 by Uncover

[Guest]

Dude you are not in love, you are obsessed and probably have some issues to work on.

You did everything wrong there was to do wrong. You behaved what some dating experts would call the ultimate beta male. But it's not your fault I guess and you can improve. Watch Leos videos on this kind of topics and also check out Coach Corey Waynes Channel 

 

You must learn all this stuff asap or else you will fuck up again and again and again. 

[Cinderella]

Let her go...honestly I don't believe in love at first sight, there is just what you call obsession. real love needs time to develop and goes much deeper if you know someone really well. To me it sounds like you're "in love" with the imagination you have of that girl and you project your dream of a good relationship on that person. but do you really know her so well if you didn't even talk to her much?

I have been through feelings like this several times, especially when I was younger. They always ended up in a bad way for me. The good relationships I had so far always resulted from friendships where I first got to know the person and then fell in love (and not in an imagination of them).

[Uncover]

Thanks, I will watch this! I hope that this will help me...

[xXxXx]

Dude let it go.

Depending on how old you are (probably in your teens?), the chemical reaction involved with being in love with a girl is brain melting.

I experienced this myself, you suffer and suffer on and on and hope for something which will never happen, she is not the only one, you can experience the positive part of your feelings with someone else without any problem. Self-esteem is the problem, work on this and concentrate on yourself. Don't attach yourself to someone just because you think no other girl is there for you, there is.

Forcing another person into a relationship will only create more suffering. And when you quit it, quit for good and that's it, no fucks given, or the unpleasant journey starts again.

[Uncover]

I accepted that I will let her go so many times. But I've changed my mind when my heart started to crumble, when I started to feel sad, lonely... What can I do in that situations? How can I deny my feelings when they come? 

Easy to say, hard to do... 

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Uncover said:

I accepted that I will let her go so many times. But I've changed my mind when my heart started to crumble, when I started to feel sad, lonely... What can I do in that situations? How can I deny my feelings when they come? 

Easy to say, hard to do... 

Look for other women, date a lot. But don't get obsessed dude, I suggest you start studying pick-up and relationships, also the male and female essence and psychology. 

[xXxXx]

You have to eliminate the contact a 100%, every fucking photo, facebook message will trigger you. Also every thought will trigger your feelings, eliminate them through accepting it will never happen. If you keep your hope, you keep the feelings too.

The problem is your self-esteem, not that you need anyone to complete you.

Edited February 14, 2016 by Locooig

[Uncover]

Ok, then I will take your advice too and I will no longer have contact to things that leads to her...

P.S. I keep hided some paper sheets where I've expressed all my feelings/my thoughts about her, and everything that happened... I need to get rid of those too? And I made a video for her(for his birthday), with her photos, that she liked very much and thanked me a lot for that video. I watch sometimes on that video, should I get rid of that video too? And I memorized her birthday and her phone number, and her whole facebook link, how should I get rid of those? 

[Guest]

You are doing this because you are insecure. You don't need anyone but yourself to be happy in life; all you are doing is projecting your fantasy on to another person so you don't have to deal with all your nasty, repressed emotions. These problems didn't happen because of her--they were already there before you two even knew each other.

 

Work on your self-actualization and learn to be happy without anyone else in your life. Relationships WILL NOT make you happy. They will only serve as a distraction until you realize that you are still miserable. In order to have fulfilling relationships, you need  no longer feel like you need them. Work on creating an awesome life for yourself  and the rest will take care of itself.

 

I used to be where you are. You are in a desperate,lonely place. You probably fear dying alone and consider the fact that nobody cares about you terrifying. This stuff has to no longer bother you if you want to EVER experience real happiness.

 

I suggest studying the following:

Actualized.org

Coach Corey Wayne

AttractionInstitute(Google search it).

[Uncover]

Everything reminds me of her. How can I forget everything? 

P.S. I still listen to a song that we both like. "Unconver- Zara L."

[Guest]

@Uncover You can't just actively try to stop thinking about her. It will happen in time. Just focus on other areas of your life and remind yourself that you never really loved her or cared about her. It's a bitter pill to swallow, but you must realize despite what she says, she doesn't give a shit about you. Honestly, you don't TRULY care about her either. You are just leading an empty life and emotionally attached to someone to compensate for your insecurities because it makes you not care about things you don't enjoy in life.

This is essentially like a drug addiction. What you get from her is not real happiness. Quit making a big deal about her because really you are the only what who cares. Nobody else cares that you are suffering,even if they say they do. You just have to let it go and work on making a good life for yourself. 

If you were truly content with life, this wouldn't make a difference to you. To clarify, SHE DOES NOT MATTER. She's nothing special or amazing. That's just bullshit you feed yourself.

[Uncover]

I'll keep that in mind then, she does not matter!! 

Edited February 15, 2016 by Uncover