Why am I attracted to femininity?

[Onecirrus]

Femininity seems to be an amalgamation of certain dispositions, attitudes, and behaviors both men and women can exhibit, but why does femininity even exist? And why am I attracted to it? I also have quite a bit of contempt toward it’s approach to life, often finding it foolish and immature, yet I still find it enthralling.

[Butters]

I was gonna say to make babies but that doesn't apply to lesbians. Probably still for some survival reason though. 

[Sugarcoat]

I don’t really understand why some men have this conflict within them when it comes to women. There are books about it for example the book “the second sex” by Simone de Beavoir that goes really deep into the roots of female oppression, these dynamics etc . I haven’t read too much from it but from what I read it was very juicy 

Edited July 31 by Sugarcoat

[Sugarcoat]

21 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

I try to understand the same as well. Maybe I can intellectually understand why men have conflict with femininity, but not emotionally because I love femininity and feminine energy. What’s the issue with femininity? It might be an ego thing.

For sure most things are  an ego thing in some way. I don’t think I really understand it intellectually even. And it doesn’t seem to be the opposite too, that women contempt masculinity yet are attracted to it simultaneously to the same degree, when its happens it’s usually as a response to female opression, so can’t really compare the two

Edited July 31 by Sugarcoat

[Onecirrus]

@Sugarcoat @Lila9 This doesn’t really address the question at all. The question was why is femininity attractive. I personally have contempt toward its approach to life sometimes, sue me. That is neither good nor bad, it is an opinion.

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, Onecirrus said:

@Sugarcoat @Lila9 This doesn’t really address the question at all. The question was why is femininity attractive. I personally have contempt toward its approach to life sometimes, sue me. That is neither good nor bad, it is an opinion.

We were just discussing an aspect of your post but to give an answer well I don’t really know much other than biology and societal conditioning making you attracted to femininity to put it simply 

[Sugarcoat]

1 minute ago, Lila9 said:

I think that this is mainly because of the way men are socialized.

They are raised to see femininity as weak, inferior, unpredictable, emotional, and chaotic. They learn to fear it and do everything to avoid being identified with it.

But they can't help being attracted to it. Their attraction to women and to the feminine controls their lives and disempowers them (as they perceive it).

And it frustrates them. 

Yes, definitely. It takes women years of experiencing men's oppression to develop the same contempt men have towards women, and this is not always the case.

For men, they don't have to have bad experiences with women to resent femininity. It's literally a dogma instilled in their brains since childhood, which causes feelings of entitlement and superiority, backed by society, towards womanhood and femininity.

That’s such a good response it makes sense

[Onecirrus]

7 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

I don't understand the question.

Femininity is attractive because it's attractive.

It's authentic, chaotic, creative, nurturing, empathic. Femininity is love and life force. Why shouldn't it be attractive?

 

I guess you have a point. 

[Keryo Koffa]

Our history has been quite a struggle. The evolution through spiral dynamics stage red, blue, and orange, all expressed in hypermasculinity: war, ideology, and materialism. Stage green was so heavily demonized when it finally opened the door to integrate the feminine. Despite all the ego games and distractions, we are making progress.

It takes much to override our programming and the endlessly expanding house of cards that is academia with its take on determinism, logic, and objectivity, prescribing how to live and how to be.

As my past self noted: "You seek what you lack". And in this context, feminine traits are looked down upon, creating a split in the psyche.

The way many seek to reconcile it is by externally "conquering" the other gender, being naturally attracted to these characteristics they aren't allowed to express themselves. Envying such freedom and rationalizing anger and one's circumstances by believing them to be objectively necessary and a "selfless" sacrifice. All of this manifests itself in confused attraction since what you desire is to be free and whole, meanwhile feeling attracted to the other gender.

Edited August 1 by Keryo Koffa

[Schizophonia]

Everybody now is more feminine because of comfort.

Masculinity is basically a stronger tolerance to stress and an therefor an incline to play to games who imply an higher degree of energetic flux.

Because men are chronically, biologically overloaded with stress (life drive), because of work, familly, religion and anything that constitute a more "high"/demanding persona, they intuitively calm the stress by dominant behaviors where they can take and maintain control; Through sexual domination, physical confrontation, depressant drugs (alcohol, tobacco...) etc.

[Javfly33]

Because you are a male. Duh. Opposites attract its other

[Schizophonia]

High demanding persona (the father, the husband, the worker, the christian, the wotan worshiper, everything you want) -> (Dominate, is phallic, calm life drive but increase stress (so death drive)) of Men -> Other guys, in a greater extent women -> children.

[Schizophonia]

21 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

I don’t really understand why some men have this conflict within them when it comes to women. There are books about it for example the book “the second sex” by Simone de Beavoir that goes really deep into the roots of female oppression, these dynamics etc . I haven’t read too much from it but from what I read it was very juicy 

What does she say ?

[Princess Arabia]

3 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

Because you are a male. Duh. Opposites attract its other

It's not that simple. Notice he didn't say why am I attracted to women. Women can also be attracted to feminity (not speaking of lesbians, just in genera), likewise straight men to masculinity.

[Sugarcoat]

6 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

What does she say ?

Uh it’s a lot. The book is like 800+ pages. I only read a little and it was a long while ago 

[Onecirrus]

@Javfly33 I’m bi btw. 

[Nemra]

@Onecirrus

I find masculinity attractive, despite seeing immature behavior in others. I'm also bi.

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

Uh it’s a lot. The book is like 800+ pages. I only read a little and it was a long while ago 

Oh yes indeed.

[Princess Arabia]

23 minutes ago, Onecirrus said:

@Javfly33 I’m bi btw. 

See, that's why I said it's not that straightforward. People underestimate the magnitude of the dynamics of attraction and how complex it can be. We don't even know on the surface why we're attracted to certain things; we know the what most times but not the why.

Edited August 1 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

12 minutes ago, Nemra said:

@Onecirrus

I find masculinity attractive, despite seeing immature behavior in others. I'm also bi.

Why didn't all you bi's speak up in the thread about are we all bi's. You'all coming out the woodworks in this thread. I think the attraction is in the title.