I don't have any friends and it's becoming a problem

[Princess Arabia]

3 hours ago, Keryo Koffa said:

This is really what we're on this forum for (ego-death/transcendence/awakening/understanding/bias awareness)

I've learnt a lot from my interactions here due to my curious and observational personality. I notice a lot and I pay attention to detail. I learn from other's mistakes than I do my own but I'm noticing my own behaviors due to the habit of observing my own actions and thought patterns and the willingness to accept constructive criticism.

[Spiral]

Friends is actually my weakest point in life. I have friends, the shallow type you just go out to have drinks with or have lunch together.

It been like this for about 9 years. The only close friends I’ve had are girls who were actually interested in something else than friendship. 

Here some take aways. 

1. With guys you need to have activity that the two of you do(assuming you’re also a guy). Typically this is something like going out for a beer once an every two weeks. Gaming also works for instance.

2. Some things will make you unattractive as a friend. Take care of your hygiene and wear nice clothes. Try to look as nice as you can. Also avoid talking about odd stuff. I have a colleague at work who constantly talks about aliens and conspiracy’s. Might work with some who are into that, but most people will not approve. Also get out of your house as much as possible, internet brain is awful.

3. You need to invest in friendships, ask people to do things with you. Go to meetups. But also be ready to cut your losses if someone is not interested.

4. This one might be a bit unpleasant but you also need to offer something to someone. I know a guy that’s not really my type of dude but he always gets invited to things because he brings girls. Some people are funny, some people are rich. Some people organize fun events. However be careful not to be taken advantaged of.

5. Lastly and most importantly. Passion and suffering is the secret sauce of friendship. A lot of people make friends in the military because you suffer together and thus grow closer. This applies to work also if you have a terrible boss for instance. Passion works the same way, if you are both passionate about something it’s a lot easier to become friends over it.

I realize that many of these examples might not be super relevant if you are in school. 

Edited August 3 by Spiral