Being Financially Independent As a Condition To Receive Love

[RedLine]

6 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@RedLine My mindset is i dont believe in rejection.Womens reaction dont change who i am.If things dont work or work doesnt change me fundamentally.Mindset I dont care how mind works for most people i work on my mind.

If by now you dont see how you choose your reality then there is no point in discussing further but beware no trauma work,meditation work will help with this only mindset shift will.

You actually believe in rejection and if a woman rejects you, it hurts to you in some degree (nothing wrong, it is natural). You try to push the idea that it does not affect you, you fight against reality, create tension, no authenticity, you go away from the present moment. Congrats you are working in the opposite direction.

Edited July 30 by RedLine

[fabger]

On 2024. 07. 28. at 5:10 PM, RedLine said:

Maybe in the US, but in Europe girls don´t care about your money. What gives you status here is social proof + being popular and cool on IG.

The girls I dated in Europe didnt care about nor social proof nor IG. Those who do are shallow and low consciousness. Dont generalize.

[NoSelfSelf]

@RedLine Why would it hurt when she doesnt know me and she has a prefrence of what she wants.Also she can want me 6 months from now.It only hurts when i want her thinking she is something special because she looks good and im not worthy of it.

Edited July 30 by NoSelfSelf

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@RedLine Why would it hurt when she doesnt know me and she has a prefrence of what she wants.Also she can want me 6 months from now.It only hurts when i want her thinking she is something special because she looks good and im not worthy of it.

Funny right, why would rejection from a stranger hurt. We should actually, examine ourselves for that, it's not normal.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Princess Arabia True its mindblowing always reminds me of Marcus Aurelius quote.But when "Social matrix" is more strong in someones mind than reality one build for himself, will always be in reaction to other people.Reaction=not having strong identity and standing on it action=you being creator of your own world.

That's why women test you to see if you gonna move from your I. When i started with this dating thing i will never forget woman telling me:" she wants someone with strong "I" and i told her i lost my I 🤣🤣🤣 since i was heavily into spirituality,always makes me chuckle.

Edited July 30 by NoSelfSelf

[RedLine]

1 minute ago, Princess Arabia said:

Funny right, why would rejection from a stranger hurt. We should actually, examine ourselves for that, it's not normal.

5 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@RedLine Why would it hurt when she doesnt know me and she has a prefrence of what she wants.Also she can want me 6 months from now.It only hurts when i want her thinking she is something special because she looks good and im not worthy of it.

Because that´s how ego works. Unless you are enlighten and you are not identified with your persol self I think you are BS yourself. 

Yes it is normal, it is part of life. Rejections hurt, scolds hurt losses hurt, failures hurt, etc. What we should do is fully feel that suffer in our body and not repress it with wishful thinking.

 

[NoSelfSelf]

@RedLine That would mean that you should still feel hurt if someone steals your candy like you would as a kid.You would still have tantrums if things dont go your way.That's why one grows,you assume we all the same there are people who are predators in this world and you are its prey.

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, RedLine said:

Because that´s how ego works. Unless you are enlighten and you are not identified with your persol self I think you are BS yourself. 

Yes it is normal, it is part of life. Rejections hurt, scolds hurt losses hurt, failures hurt, etc. What we should do is fully feel that suffer in our body and not repress it with wishful thinking.

 

 Rejection from a stranger isn't the same as "losses hurt, scolding hurts, failures hurt". It's just simply not. There is time and energy and emotions invested in losses and failures, rejection from a stranger as far as pick-up.......wait up...maybe youre right. You have invested emotions in that pick-up attempt that has nothing to do with her. I see your point, but there is still some unresolved issues there. I'm not saying hurt doesn't happen from a strangers rejection, but there's an underlying issue there that can be dealt with to stop that hurt feeling from occurring.

[Princess Arabia]

6 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@RedLine That would mean that you should still feel hurt if someone steals your candy like you would as a kid.You would still have tantrums if things dont go your way.That's why one grows,you assume we all the same there are people who are predators in this world and you are its prey.

The thing is you once used to feel hurt from rejection also, but you did the work to stop that feeling from occurring again, am I right?

[Princess Arabia]

@RedLineI wasn't trying to say one shouldn't feel hurt from a rejection only that there's something there that needs working on to transform because a healthy mind shouldn't feel hurt from a stranger's rejection. Not the same as failure and or losses. A stranger isn't personal, failures and losses are. You felt like a failure from the rejection and probably lossed your pride, confidence and self esteem from it, so it still feels like a loss and a failure but it's not normal to feel that in the case of a rejection from a stranger you tried to pick up.

Edited July 30 by Princess Arabia

[NoSelfSelf]

@Princess Arabia Interesting thing is if i would get "rejected" like 5-10 times in a row i wouldnt feel nothing.Only few days after i would get an egobacklash because of me having mindset that it meant something.But where i would feel hurt is when im "vibing" with her and suddenly to test me she will start to act cold,now i just move on if she plays games okay not with me.

[Leo Gura]

On 7/28/2024 at 7:24 AM, CARDOZZO said:

Like, you feel shame because you are not achieving the masculine ideal of society.

That's such crap.

Girls don't care how much money you have when they decide to sleep with you.

If they don't care, you shouldn't care.

Do not link love with money. That is an insanely foolish thing to do.

Edited July 30 by Leo Gura

[Princess Arabia]

@RedLineSee my post from awhile back.

 

[BlueOak]

I watched an interesting video recently that made the complete counterargument, I had a slight amount of resistance to its topic, so I continued watching.

Living alone is not going to be normal in the years going forward.
Living with a family, your family, or friends will be the norm, and those on their own will be on very good income.

I can see where he's drawn this conclusion, given the cost of living, and whether you think things will improve or get worse. If I can find the video I'll post it, no luck yet.
 

[BlueOak]

Here we go. It had the completely opposite take to what I am used to.

[Tenebroso]

@BlueOak Already normal in Latin America, Southern Europe and Asia

[BlueOak]

3 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

@BlueOak Already normal in Latin America, Southern Europe and Asia

Yes, an equalization of the world to bring shared values or understanding, a way to increase birthrates and stop people from dying or suffering alone, and a step towards stage green community outcomes. I am sometimes envious of the larger families from these regions.

There are many positives aside from just economic, people are social beings and many of the issues we see are down to people not having healthy family structures, friends and a supportive local community. Its shells of being, internal, body, room, home, local community, wider community etc.—all functioning as you and what you experience.

So I understand this, I hate this shift that's been going on all my life personally but I understand it. I like my privacy and I haven't dated in a long time, nor do I wish to. So it's just one more pressure I resist, but I can see the necessity of it for the wider world.

It does bring a lot of negatives too, a lot more relationship dynamics for example, where we see constant conflicts being brought into the spotlight and people having to address them, and a loss of individual liberties and freedoms. It often feels like we are being squeezed, in work, at home, in relationships etc. 

Interesting topic overall.

Edited July 30 by BlueOak

[LordFall]

On 30/07/2024 at 5:27 AM, RedLine said:

Have you recurrently go out or you justwishful thinking? Because nowadays it is all about social proof trough instagram and when I meet a girl doing cold approach she ask me about my IG, I don´t have  one so she either reject me or give me her phone to then ghost me the next day.  That happens most of the times. The times when I have an instat pull or date from phone are rare. You need to give them cool feedback trough social media, otherwise she completely forget the face of the guy they meet on the street 2 days ago. The phone number thing worked well in 2016 for me, but for 2024 things changed...

I am really tired of going out all night to game. Spend a lot of time and fuck my night schedule to get a 2 o 3 phone number that I will get ghost with 90% probabilty. If I would have a super cool instagram and I could get 5 or 6 instagram per night with high probability of response by the girl. 

Also trough social media I could get passive results like the guy from the video. Going of out all day to get a couple of shitty number is stupid. I have more important things to do with my time. Also I live in a 300k ppl city and the volume of girls if very low, sometimes I go out to do daygame for an entire afternoon and I see very few girls.

 

BTW I am not an hedonistic, I am looking for a girl to have a deep conection with based on autheticity and establish a relationship. But to achieve it you need to have abundance. Otherwise, if you hook up with the first girl you meet, there's a good chance you'll end up in an unhappy relationship.

True it helps to have at least a basic profile down but all you need for that is 10 well taken iphone/dslr pictures. I went heavy down the social media/social circle game and it does pay off somewhat but also kinda shallow and depressing. 

[CARDOZZO]

On 30/07/2024 at 9:11 AM, Leo Gura said:

That's such crap.

Girls don't care how much money you have when they decide to sleep with you.

If they don't care, you shouldn't care.

Do not link love with money. That is an insanely foolish thing to do.

Right. 

I'm working on that, thanks Leo.

I grew up as a nice guy, trying to get good grades, impressing mom, you know the script..

Pickup helped me a lot but I will go to the root cause. 

Thanks to all of you that wrote beautiful words.

You deserve the best!!!  

Edited August 1 by CARDOZZO

[Schizophonia]

Well you're not gonna parasite her either, you still must have some money to survive and share a life with her.