Being Financially Independent As a Condition To Receive Love

[Consept]

On 28/07/2024 at 3:24 PM, CARDOZZO said:

I've seen a post on IG where a guy talks about men feeling that they need to be financially stable/independent to give themselves the right to date, feel love or having a serious relationship.

Being honest, I resonate with that statement.

Do you guys feel the same?

Like, you feel shame because you are not achieving the masculine ideal of society.

 

In reality you dont need to have money to be attractive to women, theres literal homeless people that can get women. If youre setting this barrier up for yourself it just means that you dont feel as though you deserve for a woman to be attracted to you and if you find a good reason youll resonate with it. 

The issue is more logistical both short term and long term. So short term, if you want to meet her go out with her, look nice, have a haircut, decent clothes etc you need some money. Then long term, are you dating to get married, have kids etc? then you need more money or at least be on some kind of path that is improving financially every year. If you cant support yourself then you definitely cant support getting married and having kids. If this is what a woman wants then this is something she will take into account, she could still be attracted to you but if she doesnt think you could at least bring something to the table it can disqualify you from the long term (unless you do dark arts and manipulate her). 

[Applegarden8]

You need a couple more conditions here to "break the ice" or have to have a lot of sexual charisma and deliver none of these conditions, get what you want and leave her it appears.

I had one woman bragging at me that she was in a group of people who were nerds because they didn't dance or were insecure or whatever to do so. Yeah, like somebody more attractive will come and entertain you and these nerds who couldn't approach you will stay nerds (bad as they are) and you will not even need to think about their value and get entertained.

But yeah, as a man to get loved, you need to move mountains and develop a lot of what you don't naturally have, it appears sometimes.

[Tenebroso]

I am not sure women are even capable of love. They can love a young child but as adults with everyone who didn't come from their own womb, all I see is raw lust for the most attractive men and ruthless pragmatism in terms of dealing with men that can improve their lives and social standing. Women in the west don't really need men for money or social approval anymore, so that leaves lust, which is why there is an epidemic of fuckboys and players leaving a trail of broken hearts.

[Princess Arabia]

It depends on the female. It all depends on the male/female. Stop stereotyping in the relationship department; you will be misled, misguided, get disappointed, make bad decisions and think you're not good enough. It depends on the person and the person you desire. All walks of life there are people in relationships and/or having sex. Is it their ideal partner - now that's the question.

[questionreality]

On 7/28/2024 at 6:10 PM, RedLine said:

Maybe in the US, but in Europe girls don´t care about your money. What gives you status here is social proof + being popular and cool on IG.

Which part of Europe are we talking about? Because in Russia and in eastern European countries they do care, but this is also where you have the top of the cream when it comes to beauty and femininity. 

[LordFall]

On 28/07/2024 at 11:15 AM, RedLine said:

You can maximize social media and kill it there.

Check this channel: https://www.youtube.com/@redbeardrants

 

 

I wouldn't worry about stuff like this, just leads to hedonism and lack of happiness. Understand the basic principles, work on yourself and then go out and meet women and you'll be able to pretty easily get a relationship. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@LordFall Biggest growth is realizing you just need yourself.The freedom of not looking for somebody or when there is somebody, to just be you and not being concerned about them leaving or anything that you can waste your time worrying about is priceless.

Not needing it you get it, then you put other person in position to chase without you even want her to chase.

Edited July 30 by NoSelfSelf

[RedLine]

9 hours ago, LordFall said:

I wouldn't worry about stuff like this, just leads to hedonism and lack of happiness. Understand the basic principles, work on yourself and then go out and meet women and you'll be able to pretty easily get a relationship. 

Have you recurrently go out or you justwishful thinking? Because nowadays it is all about social proof trough instagram and when I meet a girl doing cold approach she ask me about my IG, I don´t have  one so she either reject me or give me her phone to then ghost me the next day.  That happens most of the times. The times when I have an instat pull or date from phone are rare. You need to give them cool feedback trough social media, otherwise she completely forget the face of the guy they meet on the street 2 days ago. The phone number thing worked well in 2016 for me, but for 2024 things changed...

I am really tired of going out all night to game. Spend a lot of time and fuck my night schedule to get a 2 o 3 phone number that I will get ghost with 90% probabilty. If I would have a super cool instagram and I could get 5 or 6 instagram per night with high probability of response by the girl. 

Also trough social media I could get passive results like the guy from the video. Going of out all day to get a couple of shitty number is stupid. I have more important things to do with my time. Also I live in a 300k ppl city and the volume of girls if very low, sometimes I go out to do daygame for an entire afternoon and I see very few girls.

 

BTW I am not an hedonistic, I am looking for a girl to have a deep conection with based on autheticity and establish a relationship. But to achieve it you need to have abundance. Otherwise, if you hook up with the first girl you meet, there's a good chance you'll end up in an unhappy relationship.

Edited July 30 by RedLine

[NoSelfSelf]

@RedLineIts because of your lack of game you dont leave an impression,so she gets better impression through instagram to make a choice.If i ask you what seperates you from the crowd so you are memorable you wouldnt know?

[RedLine]

11 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@RedLineIts because of your lack of game you dont leave an impression,so she gets better impression through instagram to make a choice.If i ask you what seperates you from the crowd so you are memorable you wouldnt know?

I agree, if my game was top I could get dates even without IG. I am stuck in this level for years because my handicap is energy related (trauma stuff). I have severe tension in several parts of my body, I feel and look tired and sad. My technical game is very good but my energy is fuck up, which make thing difficult. I have been working in these for years (energy work, meditation, holtropic, etc) but it is a long journey.

Edited July 30 by RedLine

[NoSelfSelf]

@RedLine I understand,so basically you dont have game to see that you dont believe in yourself,your self worth is dependant on women,you see yourself as less than,you dont have control over yourself you gave it to your mind,you are in reaction, so you feel like you are stuck but thats because you dont have game."Tehnical" game cant work because mindset must connect to behaviour in the same way.What you doing is looking at the "wrong" direction with "wrong"  mindsets.

You have made up a story about energy so your mind can keep the control over you instead of you having control over it.

[RedLine]

9 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@RedLine I understand,so basically you dont have game to see that you dont believe in yourself,your self worth is dependant on women,you see yourself as less than,you dont have control over yourself you gave it to your mind,you are in reaction, so you feel like you are stuck but thats because you dont have game."Tehnical" game cant work because mindset must connect to behaviour in the same way.What you doing is looking at the "wrong" direction with "wrong"  mindsets.

You have made up a story about energy so your mind can keep the control over you instead of you having control over it.

I wish you could live one day in my body to know how "the story about energy" feels brother. You talked to much. I have been 10 years studying and practicing social dynamics with girls and conscientiously observing my inner state and that´s the unbias description of my situation. I can pickup some girls DESPITE I am fucked up by pain, that´s a real limitaiton, no mindset bullshit.

 

Edited July 30 by RedLine

[NoSelfSelf]

@RedLine I wasnt able to leave my house, i would be in fetus position every day feeling the shittiest feelings that lasted for 10 years, so i know what im talking about 🙏.

You dont know power of mindset your whole post is a mindset.

[RedLine]

22 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@RedLine I wasnt able to leave my house, i would be in fetus position every day feeling the shittiest feelings that lasted for 10 years, so i know what im talking about 🙏.

You dont know power of mindset your whole post is a mindset.

Motivation and mindset is good to take action. When I go out I think I am the best and I going to kill it this time.

But then on paper you need to analyze objectively and dispassionately what happen the last X times you did the thing, study weak points and plan ways to improve it. For me it is the IG thing (short term impact) and keep working on energy work, ice baths and holtropic breathing (more long term results because it builds slow for me). 

Edited July 30 by RedLine

[NoSelfSelf]

@RedLine My point is your mindset about mindset is limited ,you dont see that you saying "i need to work on my weak points" is a mindset.You have millions of mindsets that causes you to have fucked up energy, but you have a mindsets that makes you not see how you hold the power of creating the energy.Everything is a mindset and focus/behaviours plus awarness thats all the life is.

If you fix your mindsets you fix your trauma.Point of the therapy(which is most inferior way) is you switching up your mindsets with talking with the therapist but he doesnt do anything he just pushes you to see your mindset is fucked.

[RedLine]

9 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@RedLine My point is your mindset about mindset is limited ,you dont see that you saying "i need to work on my weak points" is a mindset.You have millions of mindsets that causes you to have fucked up energy, but you have a mindsets that makes you not see how you hold the power of creating the energy.Everything is a mindset and focus/behaviours plus awarness thats all the life is.

If you fix your mindsets you fix your trauma.Point of the therapy(which is most inferior way) is you switching up your mindsets with talking with the therapist but he doesnt do anything he just pushes you to see your mindset is fucked.

You people here are always sunken in that childish subjectivism.

If I  analyze my last 300 trades in the stock market and I see I lost 70% of times, objectively my strategy is not good, that´s not a mindset.

If I analyze the last 30 times I went out in differnt scenarios, differnt companies, different states of mind, different results, and I see what factors attracted women and what repelled woman from me; and I see a clear pattern, that´s not mindset, that´s objectivity.

 

 

Edited July 30 by RedLine

[NoSelfSelf]

@RedLine How perspective and how you reacted to it is a mindset, if you want to have mindset of objectivity then dont wonder where is the fuel for your energy you experiencing.

You have mindset women are more important than me.

Stock market determins my sucess..

Edited July 30 by NoSelfSelf

[Javfly33]

Not really, the amount of money i was making never was a deciding factor in my experience. 

Not to say if i suddenly become a millionarie Ill probably have some gold diggers in my DMs lol. But thats another story

[RedLine]

Your mindset in pickup is very simple to explain.

If the last 5 approaches you did to girls, they were very receptive and you end up in bed with them you will feel you are the king of PUAS; bright confidence.

if the last 10 approaches you did you were brutally rejected you will started to doubt about your skills with game, start thinking that maybe you are not good enough, etc.

I went trough all that phases. Rest of gamers too.

With time if you do enough approaches, this zigzag start to decrease and you become more stable

That´s how mind works for most people and it is not something you can choose with midset sutff, it is given to you by empirial reality. 

BTW spiritual work is about authenticity, deluding yourself in something that actually don´t believe -because empirical reality does not show you that- will make you desirous and it will take you away from the present moment. You will be truly present when you recognize and accept all your miseries, weaknesses and limitations. So fuck Andrew Tate, Tony Robbins and all those internet american neo lutheran priests.

Edited July 30 by RedLine

[NoSelfSelf]

@RedLine My mindset is i dont believe in rejection.Womens reaction dont change who i am.If things dont work or work doesnt change me fundamentally.Mindset: I dont care how mind works for most people i work on my mind.

If by now you dont see how you choose your reality, then there is no point in discussing further but beware no trauma work,meditation work will help with this only mindset shift will.

Edited July 30 by NoSelfSelf