Shrooms and the Strawberry

[Paradoxed]

I did about 6g's of shrooms yesterday.

As I was peaking, I meditated deeply. As I focused inward, I was able to go very deep in meditation. Thoughts would come, I would acknowledge them, and let them go easily. Much more easily than my sober mind is usually capable. I have been listening to Shunyamurti a lot recently, who has helped me in that practice of not clinging. I entered into an incredibly blissful state. I forgot who I was in this state, and where I was physically. No ego death, maybe a sort of ego dissolution. Ego-death I have experienced in the past was much more intense, scary, and challenging, truly dying. In those states, there was no sense of ego or self whatsoever, complete non-duality. This wasn't quite that. It wasn't like 5meo-Dmt. It was more like I could bring myself in and out of this state. 

In this deep place of surrender, my mind would take me places, and I allowed it to go where it wanted. I just watched where my mind would go. It felt as if I was being shown certain things, and certain stuff was being communicated to me through a deep intuitive sense. This happens during regular meditation for me, but it felt so much easier now.

For example, I felt intuitively that I could astral project very easily from this state. Then, I remembered my physical body sitting cross-legged in meditation in my living room. I got up from this position and walk around my living room. Then, I remembered I didn't actually get up, and found myself back in the nothingness of my mind, astonished and slightly scared that I was able to do this so easily. Again, same thing, I would convince myself I had gotten up, but then I would feel a sort of fear of this exploration, and return to my body. Like "Did I just get up? I'm supposed to be meditating cross-legged, not getting up. Oh wait, I didn't get up, I'm still sitting cross-legged." I have practiced a bit of astral projection before, but was never able to do it so easily.

Also, I was able to explore other realms similar to n,n-DMT. I could enter this place upon surrender. Then, some thought would bring me back to my body. There was a bit of internal resistance and fear in letting go of course. As I would try to conceptualize the realm I was in, or even think about the realm, I was brought out of the realm. There were many patterns and there was an entity, but this realm is now hard to recall, sort of like a dream. I had been there before. I was aware that if I were to take higher doses, and do the same practice, I could explore these other realms very easily.

Lastly, I felt intuitively that I could manifest objects into reality. Not just manifest good outcomes for myself in this material life, but literally manifest objects out of thin air, and will them into existence.

That's where the strawberry came into my mind. For about an hour, I kept getting visions of a single strawberry intermittently. In my blissful state, I would leave my body through astral projection, have a thought which brought me back, dismiss the thought, drift away to some other realm for some amount of time, have a thought bringing me back, dismiss it, etc. Sometimes when I came back, there was a strawberry in my mind's eye. I dismissed it. Again, I drifted away, and back again I came, just to visualize a strawberry in my mind. This went on for quite some time.

I wondered if I could will a strawberry into existence, right then and there. I knew I could wake up from this meditation with a strawberry in my hand. Intuitively, I knew this was possible. If only I could master this state of mind, this deep place, I could manifest a strawberry.

After awhile, I felt like the effects were starting to wear off just a bit. Unfortunately, I didn't have a strawberry in my hand after coming out of the trance. I got up and looked around the living room. No sign of a strawberry. I checked my fridge for any strawberries. There were no strawberries, but there was an Arizona Iced Tea strawberry lemonade. I thought "Not good enough."

I walked into the other room where my girlfriend was. She had taken a baby dose of the shrooms. She was having fun, but wasn't as high as me. I asked her what fruit I'm thinking of.

I told her "Do not guess, think about it for a second. But don't think about it, just intuitively say what fruit I'm thinking of."

She sat for about 30 seconds, smiled at me, and confidently said "a strawberry".

Did she guess correctly? She said she kept thinking about different fruits, but kept coming back to the strawberry. She knew.
 

Edited July 26 by Paradoxed