How almost dying opened my eyes - overdosing on weed/meds?

[Marten98]

Yesterday an incident happened that I didn’t think was possible. I’m 25 years old and for the past months/years so have struggled with chronic illness. During the last few years I have also experienced my first awakenings and god realizations through meditation and psychedelics. In the past weeks/months I have somewhat lost faith/hope in my condition and started to question more and more why I’m even incarnated in this low consciousness 3d society, telling god that I’m ready to leave this earth plane for some higher planes of consciousness, since I thought I had advanced enough spiritually.

Currently I’m on a heavy antibiotic and antiparasitic protocol from my doctor in order to rule out any chronic infections. This protocol made me really fatigued. Yesterday I decided to smoke some weed, since it is legal in Germany now. After taking a single hit from a bong, I immediately wasn’t able to stand anymore. I had to lie down and a bad feeling overcame me. I had troubles breathing and seeing clearly.

I tried to stay as present and conscious as possible but these symptoms just didn’t leave. It felt like I was about to die and I felt God/my higher self pulling me from my body, telling me that this is what I asked for. In this moment I realized strongly that I wanted to stay and that I didn’t want to die yet.

It felt like an extreme struggle for survival. In my almost comatose state, I made the following realizations:

1. I didnt want my ego to fully dissolve (die) because I didn’t want my mum/family to see me die like this. 

2. I serve as an angel/protector for my family and people I care for, I have a part to play here

3. I am exactly where I want to be, I enjoy life on earth

4. God was teasing me that I’m not as spiritual as I thought. I do care for people around me and I don’t want to die, even if I thought otherwise 

5. I should stop complaining, see all the good/blessings/opportunities you have in life here on earth. It‘s amazing 

6. My mission here is not fulfilled, it isn’t my time to leave yet. I made a firm commitment to stay here / I begged god to keep me alive lol

Since my physical symptoms got really bad and I was on the verge of passing out, I called my mum and she drove me to the hospital where I got some infusions and spent the night. Feeling well now.

Wondering if it was just a horror trip or if I was actually about to die. It definitely felt like the latter.

It reminds me of how Leo said that we are all full of shit and when a crocodile is chasing you, all your spiritual shit flies out the window.

Im interested to hear your opinion about it.

Practical learning: don’t take psychedelics when you’re on medication or don’t feel fit otherwise.

 

Edited July 25 by Marten98

[Princess Arabia]

Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. I think that's exactly what happened. I heard my mom say, after her mom (my grandmother) passed, she wished God would take her because she felt it so bad. She loved her mother so much, plus she had eye and hearing problems. She passed around a year later. People die sometimes because that's what they wished for. Our wishes are being granted ever hour, ever minute, every second, it's just a delay because of the gift of time to change our minds. 

We don't realize it because we think by asking with words alone, the Universe hears us. No, it's our beliefs, feelings, focus and attention. They are magnetic and are read within the quantum field of infinite possibilities. The universe is alive and reads our vibration and what frequency we're tuned into. It's all a matter of focus and attention. Energy flows where attention goes. Focus on health and health comes your way, focus on sickness and sickness comes your way. I've healed my body many times with this method, nothing drastic, but because I identify as a healthy person the body quickly recovers.

That's why addictions are so hard to beat because that's what one is focused on, it keeps coming their way. Ever heard of one that has an addiction to something and they have a hard time sourcing that addiction? The Universe will always find a way to get it to them. Even the homeless alcoholic with no job will always get his liquor; and why alcoholic anonymous "students" will always consider themselves alcoholics and have to be careful of backsliding because in their meetings they are told to introduce themselves as, "Hi, my name is John, and I'm an alcoholic". Scarred for life because that's their identity. Bad move.

Edited July 25 by Princess Arabia

[Marten98]

@Princess Arabia Thanks for your reply, I can deeply resonate with it and from my personal experience it is true what you are saying. I used the principles of the law of attraction successfully with money/business success and romantic relationships. Deep down I know that I will heal too when the timing is right. Gods delays have made me doubt and become discouraged recently. Sometimes I forget how powerful our intention can be. I guess I don’t really have a choice, but to keep going and keep the vibes high. This spiritual path is indeed an interesting one.

[Princess Arabia]

33 minutes ago, Marten98 said:

@Princess Arabia Thanks for your reply, I can deeply resonate with it and from my personal experience it is true what you are saying. I used the principles of the law of attraction successfully with money/business success and romantic relationships. Deep down I know that I will heal too when the timing is right. Gods delays have made me doubt and become discouraged recently. Sometimes I forget how powerful our intention can be. I guess I don’t really have a choice, but to keep going and keep the vibes high. This spiritual path is indeed an interesting one.

👍

[Yimpa]

36 minutes ago, Marten98 said:

Gods delays have made me doubt and become discouraged recently.

God’s.Intelligence is never not full of wisdom. It’s ever flowing; the delays are no accident.

Edited July 25 by Yimpa