How To Become Serious

[caspex]

I'll be 20 in two months and have some of the most important stuff of my life coming up in the next few years. I have it all planned out. The next 5-15 years all planned out to the appropriate degree.

The only problem is execution. I am so inconsistent, hypocritical, undisciplined and honestly non-serious about my life that it hurts.

I know I am the one doing this to myself yet I feel like a victim to my own laziness. I have made countless action plans, do overs and even spent money in implementing these plans. Yet I fall back to the life of least resistance after some time. It has made me lose hope over this year and it has made me cry at nights.

I need to study, and I need to study seriously because the exam I am trying to pass needs A LOT of hardwork.

I never worked hard in school and passed by studying the night before each time. I have never failed a test once in my life and that has made me lazy and arrogant. In fact, I passed the first level of my current course by studying only 11 days earlier. Less than 24% of the people who gave that exam that day passed it.

But I have reached my limit now, I cannot pass this one by simply studying it even if it's 2 months earlier. This is why I decided to study from January this year. But I procrastinated entire weeks. I have only covered 40% of the syllabus and my exams are in 1.5 months. However, I know for a fact I can cover the rest in this time ONLY if I study 7-9 hours everyday without procrastinating. Yet, I am STILL procrastinating.

Even if I pass this exam, it doesnt improve my personality and mindset of being lazy about my future. I don't give a shit and I really want to. I feel like I can do it without a lot of effort, and logically I know I can't.

I have plans for my life that I can't follow through with this lazy mindset, habit or pride.

So, I know what to do broadly in the next few years. I am even mentally capable of creating in between stepping stone goals and plans to achieve them. But I can't execute, at all. 

How do you become a serious man?

(Please also suggest me some of Leo's old videos that deal exactly with this issue if you know of anything)

[Raze]

Read atomic habits and no excuses by Brian Tracey

 

[hyruga]

Cannot be serious. 

Must be playful in order to solve problems creatively.

[Davino]

@caspex It's fine brother, I've been also there, it gets better with time and discipline.

The point is that suffering will teach you. That exam may not go well, it may go horribly wrong. It will torture you so much that you will say enough is enough. Suffering will teach you and you'll learn. Or you can be wise and learn now, do now.

In the end, we are as lazy as we can be to get through life (the law of minimum effort). The point is how lazy is that? 

...

Consider other paradigms where you love so much what you do that you can't wait to wake up in the morning to start working.

[Yimpa]

1 hour ago, hyruga said:

Cannot be serious. 

Must be playful in order to solve problems creatively.

HA! 

Don’t be a sad rat.

[thenondualtankie]

I struggle with this too man. Try picking just one topic to focus on and take daily action toward that goal. Start small.

What do you want at the moment?

[Chadders]

@caspex Find what you really want out of life but the preamble to that is to connect with the divine. It’ll help guide you 

But don’t take life too seriously. Life is supposed to be playful. Rather than serious it’s being dedicated and disciplined in service of your ambitions. The universe won’t hand it to you on a platter  

[caspex]

Thank you all for your support. I guess it'll get better on its own with time, I'll keep trying.

 

On 28/7/2024 at 10:16 PM, thenondualtankie said:

I struggle with this too man. Try picking just one topic to focus on and take daily action toward that goal. Start small.

What do you want at the moment?

Just pass this exam. That's all I want at the moment. But I keep escaping through procrastination. I don't even know what it is I am fearful of.

[An young being]

On 25/07/2024 at 3:00 AM, caspex said:

The only problem is execution. I am so inconsistent, hypocritical, undisciplined and honestly non-serious about my life that it hurts.

Your desire has to be very strong, you might have to think deep and find all the rewards you will get if you succeed in this exam. Then you can keep them as a motivation. If those rewards involve the happiness of others, those would work the best, for example for the happiness of your parents.

Disciplining yourself with short term rewards also might help. 

[Mehwishqurayshi]

@caspex create a daily plan with small manageable tasks and take a break after completing each task. be consistent even when you feel in the mood of not doing a task. only consistency can help you to overcome your problems. give yourself rewards after completing of a monthly or weakly goal. 

[Anton Chigurh]

Focus on finding your life purpose above all else. Focus on nailing your life purpose and your deepest passions, your long term vision and developing that.  This is what should matter the most in your life - not grades, college, exams, etc. (Unless it's directly aligned with your LP and vision.) 

Once you have a serious life purpose and vision going for yourself, something you can work really hard on and dedicate yourself to, laziness /indecisiveness will not be a problem anymore. But it takes time to develop that and put that together, years to put it together so be compassionate with yourself throughout process. 

 

Also, talk to girls and get good with girls ;). You get lots of inner development and growth from that. 

[Ishanga]

@caspex Ok, I think this sort of situation is becoming more prevalent in our society, technology has for sure made things too easy in many ways, back in my day I had to get up and turn the channel on the TV manually, and we had only 4 channels, then things changed, things got easier and more convenient and here we are today, nothing really has to be done physically, and we are the weakest physical generation ever I would say, this for sure affects one's mental health!

First, You have to create Your own Momentum, how to do this? Quit thinking and just do it.. In the Morning set You alarm for 7am or early, when the Alarm goes off just get up, no thinking or anything, just get vertical put Your arms up over Your head and do a big stretch for 15 seconds, then get up and on Your feet, go to the washroom and clean up your face and stuff like that, get moving, without debate or thought, from this you begin to develop momentum and routine, do this for the next few days, then start planning stuff to do after this routine is over, keep the momentum going thru out the day, that doesn't mean always moving around, but some activity has to be done, no check phones every min, maybe only once an hour, ignore your thoughts and resistances, just do it...

If You don't do things like this, it will only get worse and Your the only one Responsible for it!