🌄☀️

[Sabth]

It's been 6 days since I'm here and I only went out on the first and second day. I am so tired of being at home that my body hurts. 

I wanna explore this city. But we're a little distant. From the city area. I'm so sick of being inside. Usually I would go to a lot of places on my own. I am so excited to be here. There's no way I could walk from here to the city center. 

[Sabth]

We didn't buy a return ticket yet and I don't wanna waste my time any longer. I wanna use everyday to the fullest. 

[Sabth]

I wanna live here. 

[Sabth]

I was never assaulted while I'm in school or when I'm alone outside but at home. Disgusting. 

 

[Sabth]

My life is 

I’d imagine I lived here having my own one unit apartment to my likings, having a home. And then working and doing arts. I like this place, I miss it so much. But a few days ago all of these , just shattered. I’m not going anywhere. And my had since turns really bad. All the energy & excitement that I got from this city, died. I dont wanna go back. I’d imagine my nieces & nephew “coming to my house” . And that I went to a lot of places around the city with them. I thought it would be fun. Or else we’re just living together at home. To bring them here would be fun. Then after we’re done with this city we can go back home. I dont wanna go back when i arrived here. With the little thing that i bought, i think that would be sufficient. I dont need anything else. I wanna stay here. Idk. It felt all possible and good the Fisrt few days but now i am crushed. No longer was fun. It rather seems weird now that my plan… wtf “because i wasnt allowed to walk around the city by the person who had assaulted me back home, wtf. And i was at a place that im not familiar with (not the city center) the first few days felt so good.

but f my mom want to keep me like a toddler. I am not sick and i am not old i should walk miles.

now i am back, to my old place, without ever doing anything. I wanna live in my brother’s house longer. Its New and better. New environment and New dynamic. I wanna have my own house too. Here. In this city. But now im less excited.

yk i carried the spirit of the people back home. I dont like how it turns out. 8:04AM - 26july2024 - week 1 

 

[Sabth]

I got a bad dream. After I wrote this.  Idk

12:55PM

[Sabth]

It IS, in a bad condition. This house, when i arrived last night. I dont know. 

[Sabth]

I don't wanna go back I don't wanna be here. I haven't travelled I haven't explored or walk. 

And now the return ticket had already been bought. I don't wanna go back. But there will be no one here either. I don't wanna go back. 

[Sabth]

4:20AM

Edited July 26 by Sabth

[Sabth]

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Edited July 26 by Sabth

[Sabth]

 This house had been destroyed. I have said it again and again.  
(I’ve been thinking whether i should move to my original room or stayed in my current room. This is my conclusion. There’s no way around it. I have told my mom that i want to move but she didnt let me and now that room, had been used by, MANY, people. In and out. The energy that i had was def not there anymore. It had been spoiled by people. But even the reason i changed my room, it was for a reason. Still not settled. There was a reason why i wanna change my room. Though it is not the best. Now my room can no longer be the same. As i said , “The house had been destroyed” ~

[Sabth]

You cant invite God or heavens into your life when your surrounding is no longer good. I wonder what it would be like , in an ideal world. In a Truthful world. If everything was in accordance with Truth.

I can no longer listen to good songs. It is not fitting. My world used to be just heavenly. 

[Sabth]

I got a series of bad dreams. Idk.. idk.  9:28AM

[Sabth]

I won't sleep anymore. I'll stay awake. 

[Sabth]

I shouldn't let anyone know my playlist. 

[Sabth]

Let's not forget to curse the thief everyday. 

[Sabth]

I don't wanna go back. 

[Sabth]

I miss this place I'm definitely gonna come back. I wish.. 

Edited July 28 by Sabth

[Sabth]

I don't wanna go back because of my father. He had abused me I'm just pissed off by it. Rather not going back. 

[Sabth]

Idk . In each house that I went to I got a different dream. With the exception of my bros house. Where I don't dream of anything. Because I haven't slept for days. I sleep peacefully. Without a dream. 

But here last night I got a weird dream . No I don't want for our fam to be separated. We're all fine.