Approaching strangers feel like a crushing lift

[The Caretaker]

@Treewatcher It used to be the case in my country as well. But either my perspective changed, or ppl overall got happier. I am from Eastern Europe.

[PsychedelicEagle]

On 7/21/2024 at 11:32 PM, The Caretaker said:

I don't feel comfortable approaching strangers

It's not comfortable. You just do it anyway. I've done daygame very consistently for a bit more than a year.

What I do is go to the street when the sun is shining and approach girls that really turn me on.

After a while it becomes very fun and it can even become addictive, the adrenaline rush after you see such a hot girl and you approach her. The girls I approach are so hot I'm already getting a boner by the time I stop them. But the anxiety of doing so will always be there. Usually anxiety kicks in when you expect something. You can try framing it as "doing your job", showing up. Whatever the girl does is none of your business. Your job is to simply feel the attraction and let the energy manifest. You can even frame it in a spiritual way.

After a while you starting having success and that will boost your motivation. Continuing the analogy @Leo Gura proposed, if you go to the gym you'll likely only see results after a year. Same with game.

The approach I always use is: "Hey (pause). I know this sounds a bit weird, but I saw you walking from there and I found you quite attractive. Just wanted to say hi." Then you just continue asking the questions that interest you. To me that's quite easy because I like sporty girls and I can tell she's sporty just by how she looks. Then I just ask "do you like sports, what sports do you do" and the many threads can continue from here.

Edited August 6 by PsychedelicEagle

[The Caretaker]

@PsychedelicEagle

Yeah, it seems about right. In other areas of life, I feel like I get what I am doing only after 3-5 years. But at least it seems that the more areas you master, the faster the process become. Like learning how to learn.

What about results from night game tho? I consider doing mostly day game and events just because I want to preserve my sleep schedule. Even 1 night a week going 3-4 hours later to sleep seems to affect me at least for a few days.

[PsychedelicEagle]

16 minutes ago, The Caretaker said:

What about results from night game tho? I consider doing mostly day game and events just because I want to preserve my sleep schedule. Even 1 night a week going 3-4 hours later to sleep seems to affect me at least for a few days.

I agree. They say you can deviate/recover 1h of sleep per day, so if you're sleeping 4h later than normal one day it makes sense to be affected for a few days.

I don't do night game because of demographics. I like sporty people, the ones who care about their health and will be waking up early on a Sunday morning to go for a hike or keep up with their training sessions. The demographics in night clubs are often opposite to this. People drinking alcohol, etc. (I don't drink anymore). In daygame you can meet different types of people. It's all about what you want. I would say you don't need night game at all if you are willing to put in the time and consistency for daygame. You can have a goal of approaching one or two girls per day, on average. If you can go for dayme 3-4x/week you can easily hit this number.

Also, in daygame you can have a much more relaxed and direct approach. Night game you're much more susceptible to the environment. I've done a lot of night game in my early 20s and I became quite good at it at some point (I was born and lived in Brazil), but it was quite shallow IME. You can easily kiss or seduce someone with some techniques but I was still insecure when going on dates, when I had to actually create a real connection. It was daygame and going on dates that actually helped me grow as a confident man.

[The Caretaker]

@PsychedelicEagle Makes sense. Thanks for sharing 🤗.