20g mushroom trip report - a controversial and alien paradigm

[Camerong]

Last week I took 20g of mushrooms from 1g capsules. I emptied the powder out into a tea and drank it. Drinking the powder almost immediately gets it into my system with no digestion and causes a much more intense peak. 

This won't just be a trip report, but also a lenghy report of a very profound insight that could be very benifical.

During this trip an entire new way of looking at the world opened which ive never heard anyone talk about on here or anyone who does psychedelics talk about. I've spent the last week really contemplating what it was that I seemed to gain understanding of because it really knocked me off my feet and was so paradigm shattering that integrating it has been as mind boggling as experiencing it. This way of seeing the world is so alien and controversial that I've put it off from posting on here or anywhere because it's sounds so magical and fantastical. Please keep in mind I have over 200 trips under my belt and this trip was like a mega sum total of everything I have learnt and integrated in the past.

I have perhaps gained one of the greatest peices of wisdom that could possibly work as a master key to all things in life. This is still under a lot of contemplation however. 

Trip report

The come up -

I drank the tea and within minutes i started feeling immediatly the state of no mind. I lay on my bed. There was a sense of dread and panic on the come up as the room I was in very quickly started to transform into a liquidy morphing entity of confusion. My ego rapidly started to disolve as i decended and melted into the madness that was all that was. This happens incredibly fast as the psilocin was immediately in my blood stream and shooting into my brain at such high amounts with such speed.  

The peak -

Eventually my panic melted away as I realised how stupid it was to be afraid of myself, and by myself I mean all reality. My mind. My consciousness. It all became one and I was home. I fell into an even deeper state of love than ive ever felt of off previous trips. It was all just me. It was all just love. How could I be so stupid? Why did i ever fear anything at all? The illusion of seperation and lack evaporated and was so ridiculous to me. The idea that there was any power outside of me was so illusory yet such a profoundly deep level of hypnosis that I broke free from. My mind was ripped to shreds. Language, symbols, sounds, physical objects. You name it. Anything that was any sense of "reality" was dismantled and was scattered across infinity. I was back. I was here all along and this was always me. It was the most real thing I've ever felt. My entire life and all of time was just a single thought. I can't even say at this point that it felt like an eternity because time made no sense. Eventually I started seeing an ocean of the most beautiful neon geometric patterns form into an orchestrated structure of dimensions that made up my entire consciousness (sorry i really can't explain what I saw). The most bewildering bueaty took form around me. As I started to feel a sense of self return these patterns of neon colours started to take form as a body. They started to form arms and hands and I became a divine entity sitting on a throne. I wasn't merely flying through some dmt realm I was the king of it and in the centre. I was the most beautiful majestic, most powerful being in all of existance. I stated to feel my physical body once again shaking on my bed at the ecstasy. 

The descent back down - 

This is where it gets juicy. What appeared in my awareness were these infinitely interconnected strings that connected my whole reality together. Or this dream of my life. I saw how every single thing from my thoughts, my emotions, my I sense and idea of who I am, time, space, my idea of what the world is and other people were all connected to each other in ways I never thought I could imagine are possible. I cannot stress enough that there is no seperation. I felt in that moment I was reinventing my life and all the laws of the dream. 

This next part is very radical and may be controversial, but never the less, this is my experience. 

As I was coming down i went through a life review of some sort. I realised that every single event, situation, person I've met, beleif ive had. Everything that has ever happened to me was actually just a mirror reflection of who I was at that time. It was a reflection of my identity, thoughts, emotions, ego, sense of self. 

I dont mean something as simple as "yeah you attract who you are, your friends are gonna be an extension of you duh". No I mean random people that you come across, events, or opportunities or even accidents are all direct reflections of you and there are no coincidences to anything that happens. Even though there is no logical explanation of how an event that seems to "accidently" happen to you, it is however a direct reflection of you. I became so aware of this that there is no debate about it. You are just not aware that this happens. I went through so many examples in my own life of this happening. This is controversial because the consensus is on here: youre imagining reality and your ego has nothing to do with what you experience. This is not true. Your sense of self, your thoughts, your ego is directly connected behind the scenes by strings (metaphorically speaking) to every other aspect of your life that holds this entire bubble of reality or dream together. That means that making changes to your mind doesnt just impact the decisions you make, but the entire dream your living in. 

The problem is most of this is happening on the subconscious level that waking everyday conscious does not operate on. 

Imagine a pyramid for an analogy. Imagine that the pyramid holds thoughts and ideas. Now imagine that the pyramid illuminates a hologram of all the thoughts and ideas. Now imagine that right at the top of the pyramid there is a cut off point separating the top part into a small portion and the bottom part into a larger portion. The top part is the part of your mind you are aware of in real life and how you make decisions or your conscious mind. The bottom portion are the subconscious and unconscious mind. Like traumas or ideas that still run that you are not aware of. Now imagine the pyramid illuminating a hologram based on itself and using its top portion to fight and control the hologram even though it's mostly being illuminated by itself and the bottom portion; the part its not aware off. Well if you can understand that analogy, thats what your doing in your life.

Don't beleive me contemplate it for yourself. Contemplate if there are any real life examples of how the outside has reflected who you are or where you are in life like a mirror. 

I realised that mastering your own mind and your inner state of being independantly from external influence or validation is what gives you access to an insane level of power in your own life as everything comes from within. I'm not saying become arrogant and shut yourself out from the world. I mean simply by mastering your being; your approach to life can become much more effortless with less conflict as the world mirrors your being. Another thing is you can look at situations, people or events that you attract as messengers telling you who you are at that time. 

I would like to elaborate on this so much more but I dont think I could fit it all here. 

I will just say that before I get objections look at your own life and contemplate events that have reflected yourself. Look at others, try to see what's in their minds and look at their outside circumstances. Look at people who are doing well and ask "do these circumstances reflect how they see themselves" and do the same for people who are opposite.  

Thanks for reading 

Edited July 17 by Camerong

[integration journey]

Insightful! Thanks for sharing! 

[Thought Art]

Thanks for sharing. Careful out there with large doses.

[Jehovah increases]

Nice trip report and thanks for sharing. 20 grams of dried magic friends? How long did the trip last for?

[Camerong]

@Jehovah increases this was in pill form so it was a powder which I emptied into tea. It was about 3 hours of actual tripping but it moved through my system fast.

[Jehovah increases]

3 hours ago, Camerong said:

@Jehovah increases this was in pill form so it was a powder which I emptied into tea. It was about 3 hours of actual tripping but it moved through my system fast.

Thanks

[cjoseph90]

Intresting. Thanks for sharing, i liked the pyramid anology, great insights.

[halfknots]

Nice report with some heavy duty insights.

What do you feel is controversial about this?

[Camerong]

@halfknots because it opens the door to choosing what reality you experience in real practical life. It'd not the case of yeah I trip and now I'm back and everything is solid and I have to go by the same practical laws it actually opens the door to having more control of the dream of life which ive heard said many times on these forums is impossible for the ego which it is, but if new ideas and thoughts where impressed into your subconscious your life itself can radically change as a reflection of the subconscious. You have the tools to manifest whatever reality you want.

I look at like like this. Consciousness in its truest form is infinite light projecting infinity, its infinite potential to be anything. Your sense of self and ego is like a film frame or a lens that distorts the light to illuminate itself. That means that the life that you experience is your ego, even things that are unrelated like galaxies, or politics or whatever. So if you change your sense of self on a deep subconscious level the film frame will change and so will the life or reality being illuminated. If this is explored it makes a lot of technical and practical info taught on these forums olbsolite, as there is no need to fight the life that you yourself are illuminating. You just have to change to be the person aligned with what you want and that will be projected outwards from source onto the screen of space which is your life.

Edited July 19 by Camerong

[halfknots]

Do you see the irony in all that?

[Camerong]

@halfknots absolutely 

[halfknots]

🙃

[Jehovah increases]

11 hours ago, Camerong said:

@halfknots because it opens the door to choosing what reality you experience in real practical life. It'd not the case of yeah I trip and now I'm back and everything is solid and I have to go by the same practical laws it actually opens the door to having more control of the dream of life which ive heard said many times on these forums is impossible for the ego which it is, but if new ideas and thoughts where impressed into your subconscious your life itself can radically change as a reflection of the subconscious. You have the tools to manifest whatever reality you want.

I look at like like this. Consciousness in its truest form is infinite light projecting infinity, its infinite potential to be anything. Your sense of self and ego is like a film frame or a lens that distorts the light to illuminate itself. That means that the life that you experience is your ego, even things that are unrelated like galaxies, or politics or whatever. So if you change your sense of self on a deep subconscious level the film frame will change and so will the life or reality being illuminated. If this is explored it makes a lot of technical and practical info taught on these forums olbsolite, as there is no need to fight the life that you yourself are illuminating. You just have to change to be the person aligned with what you want and that will be projected outwards from source onto the screen of space which is your life.

There is no such thing as the subconscious and consciousness is always consciousness. You are always manifesting you are just not aware of it.

[Camerong]

@Jehovah increases 

1 hour ago, Jehovah increases said:

There is no such thing as the subconscious 

Not in the absolute sense, but there are distinctions within consciousness and labels for them. Subconscious is just a label for the part of your mind you're unaware of in your waking state.

1 hour ago, Jehovah increases said:

and consciousness is always consciousness. You are always manifesting you are just not aware of it.

Correct.

[Jehovah increases]

1 hour ago, Camerong said:

@Jehovah increases 

Not in the absolute sense, but there are distinctions within consciousness and labels for them. Subconscious is just a label for the part of your mind you're unaware of in your waking state.

Correct.

You are imaging your mind and labels/ distinctions. Waking state?

[Camerong]

@Jehovah increases correct.

 

[numbersinarow]

"Reality is love." is a pre-rational statement, not post-rational. If OP interacted with a psychological torturer he would have an incredibly different story to tell. 40g mushrooms combined with DMT and LSD wouldn't make you think reality is love or make you feel like anything is vaguely correct or right about reality if you interacted with a hawkins scale 0 or sub-0 individual. Fact, not an opinion.

[Paradoxed]

9 minutes ago, numbersinarow said:

"Reality is love." is a pre-rational statement, not post-rational. If OP interacted with a psychological torturer he would have an incredibly different story to tell. 40g mushrooms combined with DMT and LSD wouldn't make you think reality is love or make you feel like anything is vaguely correct or right about reality if you interacted with a hawkins scale 0 or sub-0 individual. Fact, not an opinion.

What do you mean by psychological torturer? Sub-0 individual? Are you talking about a human or some entity?

[Camerong]

@numbersinarow the nature of reality is infinite consciousness, that means an infinitely tortorous hell is part of reality wether its psychological or physical or beyond even whats perceivable, but doesn't make it non illusory. It's doesnt make it non illusory what you experience if you take a high dose of every psychedelic. Nothing is real only the infinite possibility of consciousness itself, and that is love. 

[Camerong]

@numbersinarow

Also what makes you think I haven't experienced a degree of psychological torture myself? Whether through life or the past 200 trips? What makes you think I havent been at "0" on whatever dumb scale? I've been suicidal at certain points in my life and even in very challenging nightmarish trips. Also who can classify what 0 is? The degree of torture is relative. What is torturous in one state is paradise compared to another torturious state.