Crippling Low Self Esteem

[Anirban657]

I am experiencing intense monkey mind, very low self esteem, I hate my family at home for their high self esteem, I can't even stand properly in front of them, I hate living on this planet, I want to be alone... This is hell .. How to cope with this? 

I have been working hard for a few days and then I backslided in my results, I started doubting myself and I started skipping days, and I am really depressed and I feel like I will die at 17 after living a worthless life. 

[Bodhi123]

6 hours ago, Anirban657 said:

I hate living on this planet, I want to be alone... This is hell .. How to cope with this? 

Always remember the truth of "This too shall pass...".

All adversity is an opportunity to overcome. It is by overcoming adversity that we grow stronger and wiser.

Keep Going. Never Give Up.

 

[faith]

Hi Anirban,

I am sorry you feel this way. I've been in your shoes, and sometimes things seem like this is the end, trust me I know. All I can tell you is that it won't always be this way, it's just that when you're so young and vulnerable, everything will seem to hurt that much more. However, this is a good time to meditate as we find the greatest strengths in the darkest times. I hope you will take my words to heart. I wish you only the best.

[Martin123]

On 4/23/2017 at 2:14 PM, Anirban657 said:

I am experiencing intense monkey mind, very low self esteem, I hate my family at home for their high self esteem, I can't even stand properly in front of them, I hate living on this planet, I want to be alone... This is hell .. How to cope with this? 

I have been working hard for a few days and then I backslided in my results, I started doubting myself and I started skipping days, and I am really depressed and I feel like I will die at 17 after living a worthless life. 

Your emotional body and inner child are callingnout for your attention! That is brilliant!

The only wise step now is radical self love! Best of luck.

 

[Mondsee]

On 23 de abril de 2017 at 8:14 AM, Anirban657 said:

I am experiencing intense monkey mind, very low self esteem, I hate my family at home for their high self esteem, I can't even stand properly in front of them, I hate living on this planet, I want to be alone... This is hell .. How to cope with this? 

I have been working hard for a few days and then I backslided in my results, I started doubting myself and I started skipping days, and I am really depressed and I feel like I will die at 17 after living a worthless life. 

"I am experiencing...", "I hate my family...", "I can't even...", "I hate living on this planet", "I want to be alone...", "I am really depressed...", "I feel like I will die..."

Good news for you: YOU don't exist. Just realize that.

[Damir Elezi]

For me, the first step in this kind of work is acceptance. Accept that you have these kind of issues. You are not weird or even bad or evil because of it. You are not a failure. You are perfect, just as you are right now, even if it is hard to think of it this way. It's okay. Really.

Then accept that the journey you are about to take on takes time and you are 100% going to fail. A lot of times. Everybody does. It's normal and okay. In fact, it's the failure that makes you stronger. You will fall off track and you will probably hate yourself for it many times, but in the back of your head, remember that this too is okay. 

Start with practical baby steps. Trying to keep eye contact to a person a few seconds longer than usual. If this is too much, trying to keep yourself standing straight next to somebody, always a little longer than the last time. Remember that failure is not a bad thing. There are tons of ways to increase self esteem, look some of them up and apply them. What helps you, keep it, what doesn't, throw it out. And don't forget to reward yourself often. You deserve it. Even coping with all this stress is impressive. I guess many people wouldn't even try to change if they were in your shoes. 

Keep going, I know that you can do it. And I think deep inside your heart, you know that too. 

[Visitor]

On 4/23/2017 at 11:14 PM, Anirban657 said:

I am experiencing intense monkey mind, very low self esteem, I hate my family at home for their high self esteem, I can't even stand properly in front of them, I hate living on this planet, I want to be alone... This is hell .. How to cope with this? 

I have been working hard for a few days and then I backslided in my results, I started doubting myself and I started skipping days, and I am really depressed and I feel like I will die at 17 after living a worthless life. 

Anirban657, you are 17 and in a stage of development which requires a certain focus to get through. But you will need help from good role model adults too. It can be too difficult for many who do not have adults helping you to become an adult.

Seventeen year old people are to old to be children and too young to be adults. They are in between the two stages. However, you know what it is like to be a child but still learning to be an adult who accepts responsibility for all their thoughts and actions. This stage of development takes time, and for some, a life time. 

To help you along, please remember what I have been taking about. So when things get too difficult, remember you will need guidance and help to see you through those times. Adults see the world with more mature experiences than a seventeen year old. Unfortunately many adults forget how it really was like for them to be seventeen, and expect a seventeen year old to be an adult already. That is not realistic, and that goes the same for seventeens to expect to be adults already too.

Also remember, nobody is perfect, not even adults, so even adults can give bad advice, but more often than not they give good advice, even though the child in the 17 year old may not think so.

Life is like an experiment, sometimes it blows up in your face. But that is how it is. It's okay.

One of my best lessons I've learn is that it is okay if things don't go my way. In fact many things don't go they way I like them to go. Sometimes many times in a day. But I have learnt to accept that. Accept and move with the change of plan, even if you know it may mean more work. Acceptance is the key to dissolving most problems, because the problem is mostly about attitudes we may have towards them.

Hope this has helped you to understand where you may be at now, and where you may need to work towards.

Edited April 29, 2017 by Visitor

[Shin]

Start meditation for 20 minutes everyday.

If you really can't stand it anymore, meditate 2 hours per day.

If you have suicidal thoughts, join a Zen monastery and stay there until you can laugh at your past self.

[Anirban657]

@Shin I meditate 30minutes  per days.. Thank for the suggestion BTW.

[Loreena]

You might want to read some books on  self esteem. Wait, I will come with suggestions a little later

Edited April 30, 2017 by Loreena

[Shin]

Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem

 

[The Universe]

On 23/04/2017 at 3:14 PM, Anirban657 said:

I am experiencing intense monkey mind, very low self esteem, I hate my family at home for their high self esteem, I can't even stand properly in front of them, I hate living on this planet, I want to be alone... This is hell .. How to cope with this? 

I have been working hard for a few days and then I backslided in my results, I started doubting myself and I started skipping days, and I am really depressed and I feel like I will die at 17 after living a worthless life. 

Immerse yourself in silence to calm the mind or accept the noise inside your head just so it pitch down first ( watch Alan Watts, Adyashanti and Eckhart Tolle to learn more solutions on YouTube ). Try to understand why your family as a High self esteem and accept it then. 

All those problems are just a by product of your ego/monkey mind. Meditate more.

Edited April 30, 2017 by The Universe
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