Recent hit on exchange - need feedback

[Chadders]

Went out Friday night and chatted one of the waitresses up. Was pretty happy with the outcome even though it didn’t lead to anything. I know it’s one of the staff but she was hot and I was attracted to her. It’s practise for me

Basically I was chatting with my mate about psychology stuff and whether a psychopath is born or made. Just as she walked by I got her attention and asked for her opinion on it and we just got chatting from there

I was pretty strong with the eye contact and one thing led to another and I ended up telling her that she was beautiful and asked for her number. She was flattered but said she wasn’t really dating atm. A bs response but still the interaction was decent and I felt good and so did she

In hindsight I feel that this could have improved the outcome:

• More intense sexual eye contact (I was pretty decent but still looked away on the odd occasion when considering the next thing to talk about or speaking with my mate bringing him in so it could have been more intense - I am practising this)
• Rather than tell her she was beautiful maybe I could have said she was sexy - dial up the sexual tension more
• instead of asking for her number I should have either arranged an instant date or said I’m heading to this place tomorrow it’s amazing and I’d like you to come with me - was also thinking I should have asked her are you a spontaneous person in the lead up to that. I think that by saying specifically you wanna take her out somewhere like tomorrow it’s concrete and has a sense of adventure and spontaneity rather than just what’s your number I’d like to meet you in some unspecified time in the future 
• I did no physical escalation. I was sat down and she was stood up so I think it would have been a good opportunity to have done like a palm read on her hand

This is just some reflections on it. I’m getting better. My state was pretty decent as well at the time which isn’t always the case. Mostly meh because of my current situation as I mentioned in a previous post on here. I am breaking out of my introverted style so getting out more to be social. Tbf I’m pretty confident and can be very social in a good state. Really enjoyed the Friday night probs the most I have any night out for a long time

Anyway, feedback from people who are genuinely successful at game would be appreciated especially with those points I mentioned in hindsight - am I right or wrong?@Leo Gura your feedback would be good here 

Again I know she was one of the staff so more likely to be nice and accommodating but still it’s practise for me! I was happy with it. The city I live in the night life is just not what it was so I’ll take the opportunity when it comes and she was very, god dayuuumm

[NoSelfSelf]

Dont listen to me women hate me, but you didnt make it intimate when you were talking, like who cares about some psychopat you should infuse her or you being a psychopat and tease her that she could be having dead bodies under the bar counter, or she must be thinking that psychopats drink the drink you are drinking and transition from being silly to being something else to show who you are, rather having some conversation that doesnt have nothing to do with you and her, going in the intimate direction.

Edited July 14, 2024 by NoSelfSelf

[petar8p]

11 hours ago, Chadders said:

Went out Friday night and chatted one of the waitresses up. Was pretty happy with the outcome even though it didn’t lead to anything. I know it’s one of the staff but she was hot and I was attracted to her. It’s practise for me

Basically I was chatting with my mate about psychology stuff and whether a psychopath is born or made. Just as she walked by I got her attention and asked for her opinion on it and we just got chatting from there

I was pretty strong with the eye contact and one thing led to another and I ended up telling her that she was beautiful and asked for her number. She was flattered but said she wasn’t really dating atm. A bs response but still the interaction was decent and I felt good and so did she

In hindsight I feel that this could have improved the outcome:

• More intense sexual eye contact (I was pretty decent but still looked away on the odd occasion when considering the next thing to talk about or speaking with my mate bringing him in so it could have been more intense - I am practising this)
• Rather than tell her she was beautiful maybe I could have said she was sexy - dial up the sexual tension more
• instead of asking for her number I should have either arranged an instant date or said I’m heading to this place tomorrow it’s amazing and I’d like you to come with me - was also thinking I should have asked her are you a spontaneous person in the lead up to that. I think that by saying specifically you wanna take her out somewhere like tomorrow it’s concrete and has a sense of adventure and spontaneity rather than just what’s your number I’d like to meet you in some unspecified time in the future 
• I did no physical escalation. I was sat down and she was stood up so I think it would have been a good opportunity to have done like a palm read on her hand

This is just some reflections on it. I’m getting better. My state was pretty decent as well at the time which isn’t always the case. Mostly meh because of my current situation as I mentioned in a previous post on here. I am breaking out of my introverted style so getting out more to be social. Tbf I’m pretty confident and can be very social in a good state. Really enjoyed the Friday night probs the most I have any night out for a long time

Anyway, feedback from people who are genuinely successful at game would be appreciated especially with those points I mentioned in hindsight - am I right or wrong?@Leo Gura your feedback would be good here 

Again I know she was one of the staff so more likely to be nice and accommodating but still it’s practise for me! I was happy with it. The city I live in the night life is just not what it was so I’ll take the opportunity when it comes and she was very, god dayuuumm

Don't tell her she is beautiful. Every fucking dude in the club is doing that. It shouldn't be enough for why you're asking her out either. 

 

Nothing should feel like  a bs response from your perspective. Why putting any blame on her and not take up the full responsibility?

 

It's also not about pushing the physical escalation from the start. If you haven't spend at least 30-45min with the girl it doesn't necessarily do any good. 

 

Did you both qualify for potential sexual partners, felt the bond that should continue going forward and then you threw a unique date idea as an opportunity to see each other again?

 

Think of her number as a receipt to your cool proposal, rather than something that will feel like accomplishment in and of itself to feed the ego that you might fuck this hot girl or whatever. 

 

What's in it for her? Does she even know you? Made her laugh or excited?

 

More importantly, congrats on doing it!

Edited July 14, 2024 by petar8p

[Chadders]

Okay I need feedback that is specific to the points I made and whether they are better or not 

Just for context the convo about if someone is a psycho due to nurture or nature was just a way to involve her in the conversation and get things moving. Of course it went on to various different things but I can’t explain an entire what she said what I said thing